FabSwingers.com forum: That's so inappropriate

By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I've just finished in a meeting with customers, one of them came out with the following -

"John and i were coming together but he pulled out at the last minute. He thought it would be safer and we could come in our own time"

I managed to stifle my laughter with a coughing fit...

Do you have examples of "innocent comments" where it's inappropriate to laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this a lot with my job. Depending on the relationship between myself and my client depends on if I take the micky out of them.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I guess it depends on your job and the relationship with your clients.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago I worked on a confidential thing which my boss had decided to code name Project Beaver. I've never seen so many engineers, lawyers and accountants sniggering childishly in meetings.

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By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

My customers are usually scientists from professional bodies and tend not to have a sense of humour..

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

When I was working, we were all scientists; loads of scope for innuendo.

But one of the better ones was our Admin director, who was very straight laced and had a pink piggybank that she had at our meetings as a swear box.

She once said to me, when I got a bit sweary in a meeting

" now then , stop it, I have got my little pink thing out, I want you to put something big in the slot "

Meeting dissolved for 10 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once in a telecon with a rep from a large Japanese company. I n the course of which he said 'i have been disgusting with my colleagues...' meaning discussing of course. I had to fake a coughing fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boss told me "you're the best I've ever had", I had to stifle a snigger....

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I used to have a job where I had to use the acronym JIS many times each day.

I was constantly giggling - like a teenager reading his first porn mag.

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By *itandSteveCouple
over a year ago

Stroud

Travel a lot for work so need to get a lot of visas.. Usual discussion amongst colleagues is whether you got 'single entry" "double entry" or "multiple entry"... I still giggle like a school kid when i hear it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work as a PA for a large drinks company where the perfect pour was the big thing for the product....my boss was always banging on about how important it was to get good head on it....I sniggered everytime.....

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

When I was studying an engineering module in material properties one topic that came up was called packing efficiency (of molecules) which could helpfully be shortened to Pac E.

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

When my mum got bored of the TV in the evening, she would regularly say "let's have it off"!

Guaranteed to have two teenage boys giggling.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

This time of year at work I am known as 'Chief Fluffer' which always makes me chuckle to myself

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

We also had a scientist called Dave Hunt; but who insisted on being called Mike; just to make senior executives cringe .

Our Director was a very funny and feisty lady;

When we had the minister visit us; she msgaged to get "Mike Hunt " into the conversation dozens of times.

" Well minister, later we will go to the laboratory to show you the new techniques we have developed with Mike Hunt..."

"I'll introduce you to Mike Hunt later "

" We will start with a presentation on what Mike Hunt has been doing recently ..."

We were in fits all day;

The minister was looking desperately uncomfortable all day

She finished the day with a summary; the last slide went along the lines of bullet points;

"We are:

- Practical

- Energetic

- Novel

- Innovative

- Smart"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my work it tends to be more on purpose than by accident, even naming things to make the acronym sound rude. The most memorable was a something called FIST which lead to a senior member of staff coming out with "so when are these young men going to be fisted" certainly got a mixed reaction at the conference

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By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I do love the engineering terms,

I'm quite often having to quote the thrust of the vibrators and the stroke length in inches.... But nothing is quite as good as using the word Flange to get a giggle out the engineers.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

"In my work it tends to be more on purpose than by accident, even naming things to make the acronym sound rude. The most memorable was a something called FIST which lead to a senior member of staff coming out with "so when are these young men going to be fisted" certainly got a mixed reaction at the conference"

If it's the same FIST my guys were working on, yes, that was a deliberately rude acronym. I know the guys that started it.

And guess what? It was one of the projects that Mike Hunt ( see above) was working on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's the same FIST my guys were working on, yes, that was a deliberately rude acronym. I know the guys that started it.

And guess what? It was one of the projects that Mike Hunt ( see above) was working on

I'd hazard a guess it was the same FIST

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Some days I only seem to speak in double entendres, everything I say comes out rude, today I asked a driver if he could open his drawers for me as it's easier to get in from the rear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in a DIY store when I was at uni. I heard my colleague say to a customer who was complaining about something "If you come in to the store I will give you a screw"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

old neighbour makes a lot of xmas cakes for everyone, and she starts making them about August. Asked her why once and she said " I like to keep everything moist"

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

"I do love the engineering terms,

I'm quite often having to quote the thrust of the vibrators and the stroke length in inches.... But nothing is quite as good as using the word Flange to get a giggle out the engineers."

To say nothing of

Screwing

Reaming

Flange

Gusset

Penetration

Lubrication

Ring Expander

Shaft (especially when combined with Thrust) Orifice gauge

Head loss

Good lay

Knocking

Giggling pin

Butt plugs ( aero engine pressure testing)

Big end

Small end

Vibrations ( of course)

Make and female fittings ( find that in plumbing too)

Cock

Balls ( bearings)

Probe

Nipple

Crack propagation

V splitting tool

And of course for the older computer geeks there were 3.5 inch floppies and 5 inch floppies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A shed company near me had a sign outside with erections advertised as one of their services.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a local company that has "no job to small no erection to big" plastered on their van, always makes me smile when I see it on my way to work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a chef we work all day long with double entendres and rude passing comments to each other....

Stop banging your meat

We like a good firm pair of breasts

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

[Removed by poster at 10/10/16 17:35:10]

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Where my niece lives in Australia there is a plumber,

On his van the sign says

"Fred Smith

Plumbing: blocked drains cleared; your Shit is my bread and butter "

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

"Being a chef we work all day long with double entendres and rude passing comments to each other....

Stop banging your meat

We like a good firm pair of breasts

I am sure you whip stuff up till it's stiff ;

Squeeze lemons

Toss salad

Pull your pork

And make sure the juices are running clear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm often asked if I can go in and "relieve" whoever is working at the time.

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By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"This time of year at work I am known as 'Chief Fluffer' which always makes me chuckle to myself

And a very noble job that is too..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In an office I was in once someone needed to get into the locked desk drawer of a girl who was off on the sick cue the following exchange

How do you get into Susie's drawers?

Try asking her out for a drink!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

When I was working in an office in the US;

I had to remember that I should ask my female colleagues if they had an eraser, not a rubber.

And not to say I was going for, or needed, a fag. Or was having a fag outside .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old job used to require me to polish flaps.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I needed some files transferred so took a memory stick to a colleague, who saw it and said "I haven't seen one that small before."

Once we'd all calmed down, she asked if it would still fit in her slot.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

A manager at work was talking about her son who was supposedly trying to be a vegetarian, but kept putting sausages in his mouth.

We were at the wake of another colleague at the time which made it even more inappropriate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those who have young kids will know that that embarrassment in public can be a general occurrence, due to their innocent but highly innaprorpiate comments.

One of my worst ones was being sat at the very busy opticians with my then 4 year old and she suddenly points and shouts at the top of her voice:

"Dad! Fuck glasses!"

I look at what she is pointing to.

"No darling, that's FCUK...."

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, but to be fair, it did cause a lot of giggling from most of the people in there.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Nota smutty one, but at a large manufacturing company in the 80s which was quite unionised, there had been some political games going on and lots of backbiting and rumours etc so the union held a meeting and their steward said he wanted to get to the bottom of allegations made anonymously and concluded with " We are determined to identify the ALLEGATORS" - it was a serous meeting but I couldn't keep a straight face

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