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"Thread hijacks, emoticon clique-ophants, and one liner types please "hunt" elsewhere." Sorry it was only one line... Mr ddc | |||
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"We often wonder how much people take personal (not sexual) safety seriously on here? I work in a related sector and if we organise a meet up I take safety measures very seriously. Phone chat, only meet verified people usually, we choose a location that I will recce, alternate routes home, get a taxi to venue, meet place and leave the car a mile or so away. This may sound a little OTT but I hear horror stories all the time so am ultra careful. It doesn't spoil meets, those we meet have no idea of the planning that's gone into keeping miss safe but the 7 Ps always gets implemented. Does anyone else do this or do you not think its necessary? Constructive comments, good or bad always welcome. Thread hijacks, emoticon clique-ophants, and one liner types please "hunt" elsewhere. So, lets discuss?" Always see only verified ppl and try to contact one of the ppl who verified them to see if what they said was correct and always get phone contact | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? " Knowing how much entirely false information I give people about myself, it does mean I take some of the stuff like email, location, name etc with a pinch of salt. I don't know the likelihood of assault when meeting from a site like this versus pulling in a nightclub, for example, but there are people who've had some bad experiences and if I can learn from that and avoid it myself then I will. There's always a level of risk. I can reduce it to an acceptable level for me, otherwise I wouldn't do this. | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? " Well it's not just about the ladies. I'm not going into detail in an open forum but we relaxed our rules once and it ended up in an aggressive situation with another couple. | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? " Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them " That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me " Every cloud..... | |||
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"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc? Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me Every cloud..... " | |||
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"About a year ago I got chatting to a sexy local guy, swapped a few messages on here, then chatted by text for a few days. After about a week of chatting we got texting one evening when I had had a couple of glasses of wine (I wasn't d*unk though) and arranged for him to come over and pick me up so we could go for a drive. Never met the guy in my life. He drove to my house, I got in his car and off we went. Ended up at his house about half an hour later (I still to this day have no idea where we were) and had a great play before he dropped me back off at home. Sometimes I think crikey that was a bit irresponsible.... but my gut instinct was correct. Nice guy. (Great fuck too )" That's great that your gut instinct is that effective. I don't trust mine, it's let me down before, lol. Maybe it's because with us meeting couples there's a whole other layer of potential deception and risk. We've found couples can be far more aggressive than singles about getting what they want. | |||
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"About a year ago I got chatting to a sexy local guy, swapped a few messages on here, then chatted by text for a few days. After about a week of chatting we got texting one evening when I had had a couple of glasses of wine (I wasn't d*unk though) and arranged for him to come over and pick me up so we could go for a drive. Never met the guy in my life. He drove to my house, I got in his car and off we went. Ended up at his house about half an hour later (I still to this day have no idea where we were) and had a great play before he dropped me back off at home. Sometimes I think crikey that was a bit irresponsible.... but my gut instinct was correct. Nice guy. (Great fuck too ) That's great that your gut instinct is that effective. I don't trust mine, it's let me down before, lol. Maybe it's because with us meeting couples there's a whole other layer of potential deception and risk. We've found couples can be far more aggressive than singles about getting what they want. " Yeah I think that may be a different dynamic. I used to know a couple in the scene and the hubby used to tell me if he thought the other guy wasn't being respectful etc he got angry. I suppose there's a lot more opportunity for someone to be upset / offended / uncomfortable when you have double the amount of people involved | |||
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"I have had one very very scary meet in a hotel. I had chatted to the guy for quite a while but I made a huge mistake in meeting him. I am now much more careful. I only meet verified guys whom I have become friends with over time. I do invite people to my home, which I know can be risky but this is almost always people I have met before, know and trust. I have now completely stopped giving my phone number to anyone. I use kik to chat as it's not linked to other things that are part of my personal life. I have been on Fab quite a while now but I know you can never be too careful." Sorry to hear you had a scary moment there! I think we all just do what feels comfortable to us don't we. Personally I feel if someone seems genuine and willingly gives phone numbers etc I don't have anything to worry about. But I know that's not the same for everyone, it just worked for me | |||
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"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses. I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going. I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say! " Wrong!! | |||
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"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses. I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going. I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say! Wrong!! " | |||
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"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses. I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going. I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say! " I'd say you're wrong, but there's those who are harmful mostly to themselves as opposed to others. | |||
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"I generally meet first in a coffee shop - no alcohol. Doesn't really matter what coffee shop. If I'm at home that day then I usually try and arrange it for the one I visit most days anyway because I like to get out of the house and work in different places. That way if they don't show up it's not a wasted trip. After that see how it goes for a second meet - their place or mine. Whatever. Sometimes I do the first meet in a fetish club with no obligation to play. None of this recceing and leaving cars miles away. Seems like way too much effort." No such thing as too much effort for your safety. It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present. I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty. I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc. A couple who found out about my job asked for some help. A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female). He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school. No ransom type blackmail demands, just because. His profile was fake etc.... Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk. Offered no help. In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women. It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts | |||
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"I always have a social first usually in town rather than an out of town pub where I think I could possibly be followed home. I don't accommodate so it's me going to theirs which always carries an element of risk however long you have chatted to someone. I chat through kik so as not to give my mo no away and my women's intuition is pretty switched on. The first time I go to someone's house though I always clock where the knife rack is " Knife rack. I like your style! | |||
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"No such thing as too much effort for your safety. It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present. I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty. I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc. A couple who found out about my job asked for some help. A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female). He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school. No ransom type blackmail demands, just because. His profile was fake etc.... Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk. Offered no help. In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women. It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts " Now I'm worried | |||
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"No such thing as too much effort for your safety. It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present. I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty. I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc. A couple who found out about my job asked for some help. A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female). He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school. No ransom type blackmail demands, just because. His profile was fake etc.... Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk. Offered no help. In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women. It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts Now I'm worried " I'm not scare mongering, it is VERY few and far between. But it DOES happen, so I plan for the worst and am ready in all eventualities. | |||
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"Now I really want to know what your job is and maybe never piss you off " Ice cream van driver | |||
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" In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women. " Personally in that situation I would prefer to get the police involved rather than a vigilante. | |||
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"Now I really want to know what your job is and maybe never piss you off Ice cream van driver " I know a lot of them and I could definitely believe that | |||
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" In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women. Personally in that situation I would prefer to get the police involved rather than a vigilante." They did get the police. As I wrote. And vigilante? Oh no, you have me mistaken for an unprofessional thug or common bash for cash type I'm afraid. And without knowing the full story, you may be mistaken for thinking that you'd just go to the (unwilling to help) police, rather than turn to someone who could get the situation resolved and restore your life balance, happiness, safety and peace of mind. Vigilante | |||
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" A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female). He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school. " OP, Are you honestly saying they had a letter from the guy threatening to rape the woman, and the police would do nothing? That seems difficult to grasp. | |||
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" A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female). He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school. OP, Are you honestly saying they had a letter from the guy threatening to rape the woman, and the police would do nothing? That seems difficult to grasp." The couple in question received letters anonymously stating such threats. No address to return to sender unfortunately. The police as I was informed (not that I met with them) stated that as there was no evidence to suggest that it was not this man in particular and "could of been any of the random men you meet doing your dogging and swinging or anybody else" (that bit they did re iterate verbatim), there was not a lot they could do. How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address". The police are often far too disinterested in my experience to deal with anything like this, and ergo my company gets phonecalls. Will they act on a letter that says "I am going to take you"? Yes if they know who sent it. Will they be less interested if they have no idea/proof of who sent it? Less so. Will they be even less interested if the couple say they met the man they BELIEVE it is outdoors, had sexual relations with this man randomly and know nothing about him? In my experience yes. His profile on the site? Set up via mobile, pay as you go, totally fake. Did the police check this? No I did. Their response as I stated was "you meet random people this kind of things happens you accept the risk". They were told if any more serious incidents occurred they would "look into it but was highly doubtful anyone would be charged, and you need to stop this risky sexual meeting stuff" These quotes are not verbatim by the way I am reciting from memory what I was told but will likely have the research pack somewhere. Does this answer your question? | |||
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" Does this answer your question?" OK that makes more sense because the police can't straight off link the letter to this particular guy. | |||
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" Does this answer your question? OK that makes more sense because the police can't straight off link the letter to this particular guy." Yes, had he have stated something like "when we met up" or anything tangible they could have "maybe" had valid cause to investigate. Again, this goes down to resources, the junior officers often naive decision (they send out regular pcs for this not CID etc) who often don't know how they could proceed. It's a shame it RARELY happens but it happens. | |||
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"I do lots of planning, i dont tell them what i do. But if i have a niggle something isnt right i cancel. Had this happen the other week i cancelled and my bloody niggle was right. But i put a lot into my safety i might be blaze on the surface But im not" | |||
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"I always take my safety seriously. Heard to many horror stories and learned from my own experiences. Try and advise newbies were I can but unfortunately they seem to think they know better......they are now reaping what they sow. You can take the horse to water blah blah.." Have a | |||
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" How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address". " Are you saying you have access to more information than the police? | |||
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" How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address". Are you saying you have access to more information than the police?" Nope just different methods and less red tape. | |||
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"Are people aware that you can have things logged at the police station. If you have serious concerns but know proof you can chat to the police and they will log then if anything else happens they are already aware of it. Also never be afraid to contact the police because of your lifestyle and if anything happens via a profile on here fab admin will work with the police" Good advice | |||
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"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother " I drive an ice cream van | |||
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"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother I drive an ice cream van " Even better, you can take down the baddies while I eat Mr Whippy | |||
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"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother I drive an ice cream van Even better, you can take down the baddies while I eat Mr Whippy" Some great advice - just be careful! Watch out for brain freeze - maybe stay on the warm ones | |||
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