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Meet up safety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We often wonder how much people take personal (not sexual) safety seriously on here?

I work in a related sector and if we organise a meet up I take safety measures very seriously.

Phone chat, only meet verified people usually, we choose a location that I will recce, alternate routes home, get a taxi to venue, meet place and leave the car a mile or so away.

This may sound a little OTT but I hear horror stories all the time so am ultra careful.

It doesn't spoil meets, those we meet have no idea of the planning that's gone into keeping miss safe but the 7 Ps always gets implemented.

Does anyone else do this or do you not think its necessary?

Constructive comments, good or bad always welcome.

Thread hijacks, emoticon clique-ophants, and one liner types please "hunt" elsewhere.

So, lets discuss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never done anything like this other than parking round the corner on a meet but it's what each person finds their comfortable with.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I wouldn't do what you have described but I no longer accommodate meets. I regret having certain people in my home and the silly things a very small minority did afterwards.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

We tend to only meet in clubs which provides all the pre-safety checks we need - although would absolutely go along with pretty much all you've said were we to meet outside of that environment.

Only thing I'd add were you to be meeting solo would be a phone call early in the meet to ensure all's ok and that the stay at home partner had the contact number of the person that was being met.

Mr G

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

For a First meet we always make sure its in a public place that we know there are going to be lots of people around. Apart from that we always use hubbies car never mine and that's about it. We do take safety quit seriously and hopefully have a balance that doesn't take it to the point were it becomes more important than the meet but that we are still safe xxxxxx

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

A friend knows where I am and who with

Taxi usually and I always text to let them know I'm ok

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

I always arrange a social meet first whether its a club/pub/coffee shop, as you never know who your actually going to meet. I rarely accommodate, only willing to after i know them a bit better/several meetings. Let someone know where ill be

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I used to make sure I knew the car my meet had arrived in, let him see me take a pic of the registration and then tell him I'd forwarded it to a friend who would call the police if I didn't check in at a certain time.

At a hotel I'd also point out to him the cctv and make sure he knew we'd both been seen on it.

Psychopaths wouldn't have been deterred probably......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, we don't do any of that. I try not to give my phone number to anyone, so there is no phone chat. We drive to meets in our own car. Sometimes we have meets in our home.

Usually if we are having a private meet (not a club meet) then our first time meeting would be at a social in a public place.

We take our own safety precautions, but not like you've described. We also haven't had a single problem with safety (aside from one small incident that happened in a club, so precautions would have been moot). We are careful who we meet and that has been the best safety precaution so far for us.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

We just meet in a public place first.


"Thread hijacks, emoticon clique-ophants, and one liner types please "hunt" elsewhere."

Sorry it was only one line...

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was talking to a woman on here the other day, and this came up. She does a background check on whoever she is meeting. Checks their name I'd registered at the address they give. Etc etc.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never give out our phone numbers, full names or where our home is. Always have quite a few chats here and on Kik to get a feel for the individual. Social meet first.

We trust our instincts on people, so far they haven't let us down. Both of us met people alone before becoming a couple, in fact that's how we met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet at my home, and don't go to anyone's house or get in their car unless I feel like I've got to know them fairly well.

Usually a social only meet in a public place, or at least meeting somewhere public initially.

I generally meet in city centre hotels where I know I can get home easily.

I won't talk on the phone, Skype or cam with anyone.

I've met unverified people and haven't found its made any difference.

Nothing is infallible, but people take the precautions which are suitable for themselves and their circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP yes we do take precautions, early phone call, public place for meeting etc, only using taxis when we can etc

Yes we've experienced and heard all sorts of horror stories.

I'm not saying everybody should take precautions to the same extent as OP but is surprising how naive people can be.

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By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne


"We often wonder how much people take personal (not sexual) safety seriously on here?

I work in a related sector and if we organise a meet up I take safety measures very seriously.

Phone chat, only meet verified people usually, we choose a location that I will recce, alternate routes home, get a taxi to venue, meet place and leave the car a mile or so away.

This may sound a little OTT but I hear horror stories all the time so am ultra careful.

It doesn't spoil meets, those we meet have no idea of the planning that's gone into keeping miss safe but the 7 Ps always gets implemented.

Does anyone else do this or do you not think its necessary?

Constructive comments, good or bad always welcome.

Thread hijacks, emoticon clique-ophants, and one liner types please "hunt" elsewhere.

So, lets discuss?"

Always see only verified ppl and try to contact one of the ppl who verified them to see if what they said was correct and always get phone contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've been chatting to someone and have their face pics, phone numbers (etc) the risks are relatively low I would have thought.

I would hope that most females (assuming they are most at risk) would have enough experience to identify the right sort of person to meet. And if there was any sort of risk most will have the common sense to meet in a public place, have someone call them, let someone know where they are, etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I (mr) think its just old habits die hard with me as I do these things daily and hear stories etc more frequently so its at the forefront of my mind.

Miss does say "oh here you go getting all "Taken" again" (I hope jokingly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? "

Knowing how much entirely false information I give people about myself, it does mean I take some of the stuff like email, location, name etc with a pinch of salt. I don't know the likelihood of assault when meeting from a site like this versus pulling in a nightclub, for example, but there are people who've had some bad experiences and if I can learn from that and avoid it myself then I will.

There's always a level of risk. I can reduce it to an acceptable level for me, otherwise I wouldn't do this.

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

I tell someone where I am, who I am with and wear stilettos for a weapon! I have done some self defence training as part of my job but I'd like to think I could read a situation far before it would ever get to the point of needing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? "

Well it's not just about the ladies.

I'm not going into detail in an open forum but we relaxed our rules once and it ended up in an aggressive situation with another couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have a social meet first in a public place.. keep in contact with hubby at all times etc x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low? "

Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a psychopathic killers dream come true as I don't particularly do anything like that OP. I rely on my gut feeling and that's pretty much it. I don't rush into meets so through conversations I tend to get a feel for if someone is OK to meet or not. I haven't had any situation arise that I wasn't able to deal with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low?

Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them "

That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course, it's not just physical risk, there's stalking, blackmail if you fear being outed to someone, the possibility of having pictures/video footage taken without your knowledge or consent, stealing your valuables or identity details...

So anyway, who's up for a meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low?

Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them

That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me "

Every cloud.....

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We only meet at clubs and socials, don't have people in our home unless we've got to know them.

K x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can honestly say I don't do any of these and never have I usually feel safe don't get me wrong I get slightly nervous I feel kik I should be doing some form of safety 1st I have met a woman from a different site we had like 5 messages before she came to me we was completely opposite still had a session but wish she never came to my home felt slightly uncomfortable with her knowing where I was living (the finger in my arse didn't help , straight means straight in my book I know there a lot of men say this who are . . . .insert label) we have met few time after but after reading these post think I need some form of safety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not being blasé here (the ladies I know will know how protective I am of their well-being), but in reality what is the risk when between Fab and the private messages on your phone you have their face, phone, email, location, etc etc etc?

Am I wrong in thinking that the likelihood of any sort of physical assault is low?

Statistically, women are most at risk from men who claim to love them

That's why I'm fine, nobody loves me

Every cloud..... "

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By *orn_ball11Man
over a year ago

Portrush

All Very wise comments... stranger danger... I always like a chat by phone... a public place to meet... always verification its a must... iv heard horror stories of near car Jacking & worse... cause they only got a post code for a meet... ALARM BELLS GOT TO RING THERE ! Wake up & stay stays Lady's/Gents...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About a year ago I got chatting to a sexy local guy, swapped a few messages on here, then chatted by text for a few days. After about a week of chatting we got texting one evening when I had had a couple of glasses of wine (I wasn't d*unk though) and arranged for him to come over and pick me up so we could go for a drive. Never met the guy in my life. He drove to my house, I got in his car and off we went. Ended up at his house about half an hour later (I still to this day have no idea where we were) and had a great play before he dropped me back off at home.

Sometimes I think crikey that was a bit irresponsible.... but my gut instinct was correct. Nice guy. (Great fuck too )

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Meeting anyone is a risk but that also goes for everyday life - just be careful and mindful of the whole situation!

Most people are genuine and looking to meet like minded people - gut feelings are intuitive, we fine tune them as we go through life!!

Have fun and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"About a year ago I got chatting to a sexy local guy, swapped a few messages on here, then chatted by text for a few days. After about a week of chatting we got texting one evening when I had had a couple of glasses of wine (I wasn't d*unk though) and arranged for him to come over and pick me up so we could go for a drive. Never met the guy in my life. He drove to my house, I got in his car and off we went. Ended up at his house about half an hour later (I still to this day have no idea where we were) and had a great play before he dropped me back off at home.

Sometimes I think crikey that was a bit irresponsible.... but my gut instinct was correct. Nice guy. (Great fuck too )"

That's great that your gut instinct is that effective. I don't trust mine, it's let me down before, lol.

Maybe it's because with us meeting couples there's a whole other layer of potential deception and risk. We've found couples can be far more aggressive than singles about getting what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"About a year ago I got chatting to a sexy local guy, swapped a few messages on here, then chatted by text for a few days. After about a week of chatting we got texting one evening when I had had a couple of glasses of wine (I wasn't d*unk though) and arranged for him to come over and pick me up so we could go for a drive. Never met the guy in my life. He drove to my house, I got in his car and off we went. Ended up at his house about half an hour later (I still to this day have no idea where we were) and had a great play before he dropped me back off at home.

Sometimes I think crikey that was a bit irresponsible.... but my gut instinct was correct. Nice guy. (Great fuck too )

That's great that your gut instinct is that effective. I don't trust mine, it's let me down before, lol.

Maybe it's because with us meeting couples there's a whole other layer of potential deception and risk. We've found couples can be far more aggressive than singles about getting what they want. "

Yeah I think that may be a different dynamic. I used to know a couple in the scene and the hubby used to tell me if he thought the other guy wasn't being respectful etc he got angry. I suppose there's a lot more opportunity for someone to be upset / offended / uncomfortable when you have double the amount of people involved

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod

over a year ago

My Own Little World

I don't give people my phone number, full name, even my post code on here is to the largest town near me rather than my actual post code. I only meet in clubs, which I think are the safer option. I would never get in anyones car, that is just asking for trouble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had one very very scary meet in a hotel. I had chatted to the guy for quite a while but I made a huge mistake in meeting him.

I am now much more careful. I only meet verified guys whom I have become friends with over time. I do invite people to my home, which I know can be risky but this is almost always people I have met before, know and trust.

I have now completely stopped giving my phone number to anyone. I use kik to chat as it's not linked to other things that are part of my personal life.

I have been on Fab quite a while now but I know you can never be too careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had one very very scary meet in a hotel. I had chatted to the guy for quite a while but I made a huge mistake in meeting him.

I am now much more careful. I only meet verified guys whom I have become friends with over time. I do invite people to my home, which I know can be risky but this is almost always people I have met before, know and trust.

I have now completely stopped giving my phone number to anyone. I use kik to chat as it's not linked to other things that are part of my personal life.

I have been on Fab quite a while now but I know you can never be too careful."

Sorry to hear you had a scary moment there!

I think we all just do what feels comfortable to us don't we. Personally I feel if someone seems genuine and willingly gives phone numbers etc I don't have anything to worry about. But I know that's not the same for everyone, it just worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses.

I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going.

I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses.

I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going.

I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say! "

Wrong!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses.

I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going.

I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say!

Wrong!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally meet first in a coffee shop - no alcohol. Doesn't really matter what coffee shop. If I'm at home that day then I usually try and arrange it for the one I visit most days anyway because I like to get out of the house and work in different places. That way if they don't show up it's not a wasted trip.

After that see how it goes for a second meet - their place or mine. Whatever.

Sometimes I do the first meet in a fetish club with no obligation to play.

None of this recceing and leaving cars miles away. Seems like way too much effort.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I tend to meet people at clubs nowadays especially if meeting single women as it gives them the additional safety aspect of other being around, and that if either of us don't turn up for whatever reason you can still have night at club

if I have met the single woman before then I would feel more comfy inviting them to hotel room as I can't accommodate as I live with parents.

If it is a couple then I would be more willing to meet outside then go back to a hotel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've only had 3 meets, all were at other peoples houses.

I drove, kept my wallet etc in car and made sure a mate knew where I was going.

I would be more cautious if I were female, more men nutters than woman id say! "

I'd say you're wrong, but there's those who are harmful mostly to themselves as opposed to others.

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By *tudmcmuffinMan
over a year ago

Swindon

I always try to meet somewhere public first for a social, I'm very aware that the people I'm meeting are just as concerned about their safety as I am about mine, so I never suggest meeting them privately to begin with.

I have had some meets where initially I've been invited to their homes and I've taken certain precautions as a result, although they all seemed fine while chatting to them and thankfully I was right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll always tend to have a social but this is mainly more to ensure people are who they say they are and to gauge if there's actually any physical attraction. Generally this is the case.

I'm not overly concerned with my own safety being put at risk and this can generally be mitigated by meeting in public, if anything, I understand the caution of others and try to accommodate that where I can.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I always have a social first usually in town rather than an out of town pub where I think I could possibly be followed home.

I don't accommodate so it's me going to theirs which always carries an element of risk however long you have chatted to someone.

I chat through kik so as not to give my mo no away and my women's intuition is pretty switched on.

The first time I go to someone's house though I always clock where the knife rack is

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I generally meet first in a coffee shop - no alcohol. Doesn't really matter what coffee shop. If I'm at home that day then I usually try and arrange it for the one I visit most days anyway because I like to get out of the house and work in different places. That way if they don't show up it's not a wasted trip.

After that see how it goes for a second meet - their place or mine. Whatever.

Sometimes I do the first meet in a fetish club with no obligation to play.

None of this recceing and leaving cars miles away. Seems like way too much effort."

No such thing as too much effort for your safety.

It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present.

I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty.

I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc.

A couple who found out about my job asked for some help.

A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female).

He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school.

No ransom type blackmail demands, just because.

His profile was fake etc....

Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk.

Offered no help.

In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women.

It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

Can't say I've ever really taken much precaution immediately prior to a Meet as I've usually chatted in mails & KIK (or some other platform) for a while before arranging to Meet. Mostly I've accommodated too, so felt safe knowing neighbours would be on the case if anything untoward was going on.

On the few occasions I've not accommodated or it's been a rapid Meet it's been down to gut instinct & someone always knows if they don't hear from me in a certain timescale there's something wrong. Though really it's mostly down to smart choices & instinct. If my instincts say no, then I don't meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always have a social first usually in town rather than an out of town pub where I think I could possibly be followed home.

I don't accommodate so it's me going to theirs which always carries an element of risk however long you have chatted to someone.

I chat through kik so as not to give my mo no away and my women's intuition is pretty switched on.

The first time I go to someone's house though I always clock where the knife rack is "

Knife rack. I like your style!

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain


"No such thing as too much effort for your safety.

It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present.

I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty.

I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc.

A couple who found out about my job asked for some help.

A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female).

He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school.

No ransom type blackmail demands, just because.

His profile was fake etc....

Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk.

Offered no help.

In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women.

It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts "

Now I'm worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to meet in public and then the safety and security of a hotel room, neutral territory for all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No such thing as too much effort for your safety.

It is unlikely anything will go wrong but if you fail to prepare you have to be prepared to fail, and safety wise, failure is not an option when my partner is present.

I do what's right for us and can understand and appreciate people do what's right for them but having dealt with security issues for a decade, it can be a little naughty.

I used to use another site (single male profile some years before meeting miss) attended several socials etc.

A couple who found out about my job asked for some help.

A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female).

He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school.

No ransom type blackmail demands, just because.

His profile was fake etc....

Police said basically you are a swinger you take and accept the risk.

Offered no help.

In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women.

It worked, but god knows how long they'd have been terrorised. They were in about leaving the bloody country and all sorts

Now I'm worried "

I'm not scare mongering, it is VERY few and far between.

But it DOES happen, so I plan for the worst and am ready in all eventualities.

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By *tudmcmuffinMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Now I really want to know what your job is and maybe never piss you off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Now I really want to know what your job is and maybe never piss you off "

Ice cream van driver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women.

"

Personally in that situation I would prefer to get the police involved rather than a vigilante.

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By *tudmcmuffinMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"Now I really want to know what your job is and maybe never piss you off

Ice cream van driver

"

I know a lot of them and I could definitely believe that

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Alternating routes home etc seems OTT in my opinion. They aren't going to have string of watchers tracing you back surely?

Maybe just arrange meets at a club, then you could relax easier?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

In the end I traced him (ANPR camera locations close to meet at time of meet, process of elimination, very laborious, help from third party's etc) and politely asked that he stop the menacing or he would be outed to the neighbours, work (followed him to his office) and his mother as a dangerous psychopath who engages in illicit sexual behaviour and terrorises women.

Personally in that situation I would prefer to get the police involved rather than a vigilante."

They did get the police. As I wrote.

And vigilante?

Oh no, you have me mistaken for an unprofessional thug or common bash for cash type I'm afraid.

And without knowing the full story, you may be mistaken for thinking that you'd just go to the (unwilling to help) police, rather than turn to someone who could get the situation resolved and restore your life balance, happiness, safety and peace of mind.

Vigilante

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female).

He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school.

"

OP, Are you honestly saying they had a letter from the guy threatening to rape the woman, and the police would do nothing?

That seems difficult to grasp.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

A guy they had met on an "outdoor meet" had followed them home (unaware they were being tailed), started to write to them (saw the letters they were pretty scary talking of raping the female).

He had apparently recorded their meet (said with night vision camera mounted on car), and was going to send it to their kids school.

OP, Are you honestly saying they had a letter from the guy threatening to rape the woman, and the police would do nothing?

That seems difficult to grasp."

The couple in question received letters anonymously stating such threats.

No address to return to sender unfortunately.

The police as I was informed (not that I met with them) stated that as there was no evidence to suggest that it was not this man in particular and "could of been any of the random men you meet doing your dogging and swinging or anybody else" (that bit they did re iterate verbatim), there was not a lot they could do.

How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address".

The police are often far too disinterested in my experience to deal with anything like this, and ergo my company gets phonecalls.

Will they act on a letter that says "I am going to take you"? Yes if they know who sent it.

Will they be less interested if they have no idea/proof of who sent it? Less so.

Will they be even less interested if the couple say they met the man they BELIEVE it is outdoors, had sexual relations with this man randomly and know nothing about him? In my experience yes.

His profile on the site?

Set up via mobile, pay as you go, totally fake.

Did the police check this? No I did.

Their response as I stated was "you meet random people this kind of things happens you accept the risk".

They were told if any more serious incidents occurred they would "look into it but was highly doubtful anyone would be charged, and you need to stop this risky sexual meeting stuff"

These quotes are not verbatim by the way I am reciting from memory what I was told but will likely have the research pack somewhere.

Does this answer your question?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

Does this answer your question?"

OK that makes more sense because the police can't straight off link the letter to this particular guy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just in addition to my last.

I firmly believe the police become a bit blasé about things that terrify and worry the general public.

Like any job where you hear crazy shit daily it has less impact on you but for the normal everyday folk it's pretty horrendous.

This seemed to be the case here.

Without lack of firm evidence the police due to manpower, or whatever else often "can't help until something happens" (by which time its too late).

Am I anti police? Absolutely not, I am just aware that its a time/resources vs possibility of outcome and "working within their set parameters" issue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Does this answer your question?

OK that makes more sense because the police can't straight off link the letter to this particular guy."

Yes, had he have stated something like "when we met up" or anything tangible they could have "maybe" had valid cause to investigate.

Again, this goes down to resources, the junior officers often naive decision (they send out regular pcs for this not CID etc) who often don't know how they could proceed.

It's a shame it RARELY happens but it happens.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I do lots of planning, i dont tell them what i do.

But if i have a niggle something isnt right i cancel.

Had this happen the other week i cancelled and my bloody niggle was right.

But i put a lot into my safety i might be blaze on the surface

But im not

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do lots of planning, i dont tell them what i do.

But if i have a niggle something isnt right i cancel.

Had this happen the other week i cancelled and my bloody niggle was right.

But i put a lot into my safety i might be blaze on the surface

But im not"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always take my safety seriously. Heard to many horror stories and learned from my own experiences. Try and advise newbies were I can but unfortunately they seem to think they know better......they are now reaping what they sow. You can take the horse to water blah blah..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always take my safety seriously. Heard to many horror stories and learned from my own experiences. Try and advise newbies were I can but unfortunately they seem to think they know better......they are now reaping what they sow. You can take the horse to water blah blah.."

Have a

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address".

"

Are you saying you have access to more information than the police?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a text buddy who knows where I am and always meet socially in a public place first too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Are people aware that you can have things logged at the police station.

If you have serious concerns but know proof you can chat to the police and they will log then if anything else happens they are already aware of it.

Also never be afraid to contact the police because of your lifestyle and if anything happens via a profile on here fab admin will work with the police

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

How do you find somebody via letters with no "return address".

Are you saying you have access to more information than the police?"

Nope just different methods and less red tape.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are people aware that you can have things logged at the police station.

If you have serious concerns but know proof you can chat to the police and they will log then if anything else happens they are already aware of it.

Also never be afraid to contact the police because of your lifestyle and if anything happens via a profile on here fab admin will work with the police"

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother "

I drive an ice cream van

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I only ever meet in clubs. I have a throw-away SIM cellphone which I top-up with a voucher which is paid in cash. On the way back from the club, I will drive a distance and then randomly stop, where possible, at the side of the road for 3 or 4 minutes and then drive on to shake off anyone following me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a man at my home whom I had trouble getting to leave the next morning, and I did start to feel panicky as my children were due back from their father's. He then later attempted to blackmail me after I made it clear I had no wish to see him again, ever, ever, ever!

Would never accommodate anyone else again, no matter how normal they appeared.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

And generally men should take there saefty more seriously prefably when they dont have full balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother

I drive an ice cream van "

Even better, you can take down the baddies while I eat Mr Whippy

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"I've read most of this with a Liam Neeson voice in my head. I'll hire ya OP, if I get any bother

I drive an ice cream van

Even better, you can take down the baddies while I eat Mr Whippy"

Some great advice - just be careful! Watch out for brain freeze - maybe stay on the warm ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take a few sensible precautions and mainly meet in clubs or social- so far no problems but very aware as a lone single guy there have been scams to exploit us.

If it's too good to be true it is usually

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