FabSwingers.com forum: Confused

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it, that men message you first, keep the chase going, chat for ages on here .. then on the phone and he didnt want to get off the phone either last night. Keen to meet but then nothing today. No messages, not looking at my profile and photos and no response at all.

But hes been on here a few times throughout the day and we are meant to be meeting up tomorrow for a social. Hmm very confusing.

This isnt the first time it has happened. Its like once they have you as a friend and can see your photos they move on.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

If I had arranged a meet I would not chat everyday leading up to it... I would make the arrangements and leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men do it

Couples do it

Females do it

Unfortunate but shit happens x

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

Probably cos he knows he scored and meeting you tomorrow and now working on the next meet.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 05/10/16 19:15:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he's been busy or saving the conversation etc up for tomorrow?

Hopefully he'll confirm and you'll have a great time - it seems (on the face of it) a bit early to write him off but it is strange if he's not responding at all to messages.

Hope it goes well tomorrow!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but then again, I don't 'friend' people. I think the whole friend thing is meaningless...... utterly meaningless.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

He probably been working or something and not got round to it yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it, that men message you first, keep the chase going, chat for ages on here .. then on the phone and he didnt want to get off the phone either last night. Keen to meet but then nothing today. No messages, not looking at my profile and photos and no response at all.

But hes been on here a few times throughout the day and we are meant to be meeting up tomorrow for a social. Hmm very confusing.

This isnt the first time it has happened. Its like once they have you as a friend and can see your photos they move on. "

Because they get cold feet and run - which is so annoying!

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Did he have a 'happy ending' during your phone call last night?

He may have got what he wanted from you, or he may be playing it cool.

IDK.

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose women get cold feet too. But if they are the one who initiates the conversation and likes my photos and enjoys chatting to me to the point i tried to end the conversation several times but he said `no its ok' then you can see why I am confused.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'd reserve judgement until 15 minutes after the agreed meet time.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

But hes been on here a few times throughout the day and we are meant to be meeting up tomorrow for a social. Hmm very confusing.

This isnt the first time it has happened. Its like once they have you as a friend and can see your photos they move on. "

My instincts say fantasist bet he doesn't message you and I bet he doesn't turn up .

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Also why are you checking his every move

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did he have a 'happy ending' during your phone call last night?

He may have got what he wanted from you, or he may be playing it cool.

IDK."

We chatted normal stuff .. nothing naughty. Yes he wanted to talk for longer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men do it

Couples do it

Females do it

Unfortunate but shit happens x"

even birds and bees do it..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also why are you checking his every move"

Im not checkign his every move.. i just notice he has logged on. I do have a life you know. I happen to be off work this week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd reserve judgement until 15 minutes after the agreed meet time. "

Pahhahaha.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Mainly it's that the greAt majority of site users of all genders (forumites obviously excluded!) find the idea of doing this sort of thing far more exciting than actually following it through.

I'm not sure that everyone deliberately mucks people about, sometimes their bottle just goes. Talking on the phone is the best measure of someone's intentions, but still provides no guarantee. Sorry you're disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on they do it! But guess what for me they like the bus (number 50,which runs four in four minutes) ,I miss one and jump on the next one! I don't have friends only pictures either!

Mostly are cowards who can't even speak out! Even the Shrek here think they are bloody Brad Pitt!

Make use of block button and block their number too! they will lie and lie!Guess what I am not bothered with losers! Keep looking until you find someone nice who deserves your company! All the best! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mainly it's that the greAt majority of site users of all genders (forumites obviously excluded!) find the idea of doing this sort of thing far more exciting than actually following it through.

Well I guess that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Move on they do it! But guess what for me they like the bus (number 50,which runs four in four minutes) ,I miss one and jump on the next one! I don't have friends only pictures either!

Mostly are cowards who can't even speak out! Even the Shrek here think they are bloody Brad Pitt!

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have faith D, if he fails to message you tomorrow to court the meet then I'd be concerned. His loss if he doesn't. X

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Also why are you checking his every move

Im not checkign his every move.. i just notice he has logged on. I do have a life you know. I happen to be off work this week. "
well maybe he has a life as well

You arranged a meet for tomorrow. Its only 7.30 hes got all night or the morning to confirm.

Hes not done anything wrong yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's been online and not replied I'd find that odd. If he was online again tonight and still didn't reply then I wouldn't bother turning up tomorrow.

No-one needs that shit. It's rude to not reply and just disappear when you have a meet arranged. Hope you do something fun instead. x

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me."

He's got your meet tomorrow and working on the next one after you. I've had this many times from men on here, they line up their meets and sometimes you see them again, sometimes not. I no longer do meets x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your messages and advice. I will see if i hear from him tonight. Maybe i will message him as I havent done so either. But I dont want to come across as needy. Im certainly not that but its been a while since I met anyone new from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd reserve judgement until 15 minutes after the agreed meet time. "

I agree. There's no reason why he should maintain so much contact leading up to your meet.

Good luck for tomorrow

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But hes been on here a few times throughout the day and we are meant to be meeting up tomorrow for a social. Hmm very confusing.

He's married.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Thanks for all your messages and advice. I will see if i hear from him tonight. Maybe i will message him as I havent done so either. But I dont want to come across as needy. Im certainly not that but its been a while since I met anyone new from here. "
if you havent messaged him what are you having no response to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op maybe he can't believe his luck and had got cold feet as he now has to follow up on his promise to meet you x but on the other hand he might be a chance only time will tell

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I'd reserve judgement until 15 minutes after the agreed meet time.

I agree. There's no reason why he should maintain so much contact leading up to your meet.

Good luck for tomorrow "

Saying that, I have a meet on Friday and I can't stop chatting to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes ."

Many women have. The crappy rude disrespectful single men really do have a negative effect on the women on this site.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes ."

why is what is described making him an arsehole on a NSA attached sex site. The lady is feeling let down but the guy plays differently from her

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes ."

Thanks, but I came here looking for a regular fuck buddy as I don't want commitment and enjoy the company of someone I trust and build up a rapport with etc., But obviously, this is not the place to find such a person, but I do love the forums and the guys and dolls that are often on here contributing their _iews and funny stories

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

See this is a case of is it over analysing things or not

Personally we take a drop in contact as a no longer interested now. Why? Because it's happened in the past and we have had an evening wasted.

A simple "are we still on for tomorrow?" Text and see what happens....it's not rude just making sure. If he doesn't respond block and move on.

If he does then at least at that point it's still on

Dax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there's no point in guessing.

if you want people to interact with you a certain way then you have to be clear about that, or at least contact them yourself.

i kind of got sick of NSA because you don't know where you are with these men most of the time as it seems to be random when they want to meet and not that often, so then you have to go looking for sex with other men who also are confusing and before you know it you've got about 20+ fuck buddies with a few randoms chucked in and then loads of them want to meet you at once and omg... i just wanted regular sex...

NSA is a huge turn off for me now unless it's 3sums.

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

Technically OP you haven't been let down...meet not til tomorrow, so why are you worrying that he's logged on and not contacted you? Bloke's allowed a life, maybe he logged on to see if you had contacted him, maybe he's contemplating starting his own thread that he couldn't get off the phone from you, maybe he's looking forward to meeting you tomorrow and wanted to see if you would be looking forward to it as much as he is and maybe he's reading this thread thinking you're mental...

Maybe, maybe maybe!

Only he knows, so ask him

(Op sorry if that all sounds like bitchy criticism, really it's not, but you do sound a tad needy

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/16 19:40:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reckon his wife caught him using fab lol.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes .

why is what is described making him an arsehole on a NSA attached sex site. The lady is feeling let down but the guy plays differently from her"

Because unless he told her the truth from the beginning he manipulated to get hat he wanted.

Integrity goes out of the window with a lot if people when sex is involved such people are complete assholes who lack the fiber to tell it as it is because by doing so they may not get what they want .

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Technically OP you haven't been let down...meet not til tomorrow, so why are you worrying that he's logged on and not contacted you? Bloke's allowed a life, maybe he logged on to see if you had contacted him, maybe he's contemplating starting his own thread that he couldn't get off the phone from you, maybe he's looking forward to meeting you tomorrow and wanted to see if you would be looking forward to it as much as he is and maybe he's reading this thread thinking you're mental...

Maybe, maybe maybe!

Only he knows, so ask him

(Op sorry if that all sounds like bitchy criticism, really it's not, but you do sound a tad needy

)"
youve just restored my faith in normality

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe, maybe maybe!

Only he knows, so ask him

(Op sorry if that all sounds like bitchy criticism, really it's not, but you do sound a tad needy

That was funny .. you have a point lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"After all it's a sex / swinging site. People move on quickly to the next conquest

But he hasnt met me.

That's just sad real sad you have taken yourself out of the game due to the behavior of assholes .

why is what is described making him an arsehole on a NSA attached sex site. The lady is feeling let down but the guy plays differently from her

Because unless he told her the truth from the beginning he manipulated to get hat he wanted.

cool, I just read what she had written, I didn't know the detailed conversations she had with them making it clear her expectations and gaining his agreement.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If you don't hear from him tonight about meeting up I might presume he's changed his mind. I always think it's not going to happen/he's not going to turn up until we are both face to face. It saves on the disappointment and Grrrrrrr's!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replies

Youre all a good bunch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry if I've missed this, but have you messaged him and he hasn't replied? Or has he just not messaged you first, but you've made no attempt to contact him?

If you haven't messaged him, then I think you're blowing it out of proportion. I like people to keep in contact in the run up to a meet but it's a bit much to write him off just because it's been a day and he hasn't messaged. It's only 7:45

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"If you don't hear from him tonight about meeting up I might presume he's changed his mind. I always think it's not going to happen/he's not going to turn up until we are both face to face. It saves on the disappointment and Grrrrrrr's!!!!!!"

Totally the correct atituded expectation is the bedfellow of disappointment take expectation out of the equation and one can never be disappointed .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But hes been on here a few times throughout the day and we are meant to be meeting up tomorrow for a social. Hmm very confusing.

This isnt the first time it has happened. Its like once they have you as a friend and can see your photos they move on. "

This happens alot so iv read and had it happen in the past. Im big enough and ugly enough to realise they are not worth bothering about regardless of whether there is a social planned the next day.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you not message him in that scenario to ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly wanked himself silly thinking about meeting you.

It's amazing how the difference between full balls and empty balls can impact upon cognitive thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men i've met have chatted up to the poing of meeting, something along the lines of "looking forward to meeting you tomorrow" or stuff like that, so i can see what you're getting at.

But not all fella's are like that.

If you don't get a "i'm on my way" kind of message tomorrow, then its time to worry.

Fingers crossed for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op did u exchange mobile numbers if do text him if not ask yourself why he didn't give u his number I always swap numbers and send a text to show I'm genuine and so is my numbet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We swapped numbers and we spoke for almost an hour. I kept saying that I needed to go but he seemed keen to continue to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe just drop him a quick message checking you're still on for tomorrow then if he replies great and if not at least you know where you stand.

If like you say it's been a while since you met you're probably starting to feel a bit anxious which isn't good.

If he doesn't respond at least you can just move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably cos he knows he scored and meeting you tomorrow and now working on the next meet.

Everyone needs a backup plan!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly wanked himself silly thinking about meeting you.

It's amazing how the difference between full balls and empty balls can impact upon cognitive thinking.

Yep, my brain operates completely differently when I'm horny, to when I've just released... Can't help it!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"i tried to end the conversation several times but he said `no its ok' then you can see why I am confused."

Be careful, he's controlling how things go. If someone needs to get off the phone you let them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Never thought of it like that. He never messaged back so guessing hes not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a site where there is no shortage of the Male sex..

...How does someone get so hung up over ONE guy?...

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"If I had arranged a meet I would not chat everyday leading up to it... I would make the arrangements and leave it at that.

I tried that and got blown out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im not.. i was just posting to get some advice. Ive deleted him... hardly getting hung up over a guy. Seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never thought of it like that. He never messaged back so guessing hes not interested.

His loss D. Sorry to hear you've been messed about x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the guy read this thread, and all that was said about him, chances are he's changed his name and moved to a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with Britain. Ffs...talk about guilty until proven innocent. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a site where there is no shortage of the Male sex..

...How does someone get so hung up over ONE guy?...

Have shortage of a proper man actually!We may looking for more than male sex!Someone who we have some affinity that would lead to have sex or not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aim to care less o.p. but most of all, be happy doing what you're doing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just needed advice and i got it so I thank those who gave me the advice. It proved useful.

Post done and dusted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cause his wife has just discovered he's on a sex site

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Would you not message him in that scenario to ask? "

Yes I probably would because it takes me ages to find guys I want to meet and if I'd been chatting to him a lot like the OP has I'd be looking forward to actually meeting him

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Apologies if this point of _iew has been mentioned, I skimmed through about half the responses..

As a guy, you sometimes get the feel that a conversation has petered out.. You don't want to push it any further cos that can sometimes feel just a little bit needy..

So you leave it, give her a little space before starting a new conversation, or she messages you.

For most guys, making small talk isn't easy..it's not a natural male trait, especially when you are trying to cold read someone from a few profile details and the few details you pick up in conversation.

I'm sure all will be good when you meet up.. If he hasn't read this thread, he's probably sitting there right now going through the same thought process as you.

You could always send him a message, he'll probably appreciate it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have messaged him and he has replied just now and wants to meet tomorrow. Will see how it goes.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Probably cos he knows he scored and meeting you tomorrow and now working on the next meet.

Not being funny but this is exactly what we do, this is not a dating site? We have met a lovely forumite, we all want to play, life gets in the way, the meet is weeks away, we do not sit here twiddling our thumbs as we have learnt (fast) that until your in a room ravishing each other it may not happen. At the same time we do not pester the lady concerned or chase her over the forums as some do.

If its for a social though chances are he'll no show, this place is over in by dreamers Fakes & fantasists i'm afraid.

Better luck with the next one OP

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I have messaged him and he has replied just now and wants to meet tomorrow. Will see how it goes. "

Fingers crossed then, but what I put still applies maybe just not to your friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Enjoy tomorrow

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have messaged him and he has replied just now and wants to meet tomorrow. Will see how it goes. "
lets hope he doesnt see this thread first now hes had his character assinated based on nothing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Then he would have the right to ignore me and block me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/16 22:40:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So his wife hasn't caught him on fab, he's not a fantasist or dreamer, he hasn't moved on to his next Conquest, and he didn't have a fone wank last night, ...he just a normal guy after all. And nobody judged him ....well done everyone. ..

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"[Removed by poster at 05/10/16 22:40:35]"
your right it was the others based on nothing

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