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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know this is a heavy subject for this site but I am a little lost and seeking any advice I can get.

About 3 and a half years ago I started in what is my current job. My first day there, during training I feel instantly head over heels in love with someone. She is nearly 9 years older than me. I suppressed the feelings as she has dated other men in the 3 years since but at the minute, as far as I know she is single and the feelings are tearing me apart. I know that sounds melodramatic but it's the only way I can describe it.

Have I left it too long to confess all to her? If not, how do I even approach her about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's never too late. Keep it simple, ask her for a drink.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you're probably better off giving it a bash before it's too late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and I wouldn't 'confess all'..... just keep it light

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

We'll I wouldn't "confess " for a start might creep her out but no reason not to see if she would be interested in a date then take things slowly from there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know I need to "man up" but we are really good friends and I am worried it will destroy that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree, definitely ask her out but don't do the big confession and unleash of feelings -- it'd be too much too soon even if she does feel romantically interested in you. Ask her for a drink.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Just ask her to go to the pics cos your mate let you down or something.

Do NOT confess anything. That comes later if things develop. Saves face if it comes to nothing also.

MY MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU. 'instantly falling in love' is infatuation/sexual attraction.

It's not love.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

P.S. O.P. It doesn't sound melodramatic at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing is worth tearing you apart, not even love or infatuation as Granny mentioned.

I'm sure there are many that have been in your situation at some point in their lives.

I like Granny's idea, go for it.

Keep us posted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As everyone else has said just ask her out and see what happens. She may have felt the same way for years and daren't say.

Let us know how it goes.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Ask her how the weekend went if a Monday. If Friday ask if she has plans for weekend. It's up to you, good luck!

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

If you feel so strongly you shouldn't ignore it. Go for it. Ask her out.

I believe in life we regret the things we don't do. A what if? Is harder to get over than an oh well..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

agree with the above, keep it simple and if it pans out then happy days..

confessing will only make her a bit wary of you if it doesn't pan out and may make her distance herself from you as friends..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I agree with Granny.

You've built this up into something it possibly isn't.

I'm reminded again of the Wendy Cope poem "Two Cures for Love"

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.

2. The easy way. Get to know him better.

Of course you'll be substituting her for him and we all hope that getting to know her better cures love in a good way i.e. by showing that she feels the same.

It is often true that unrequited love is idealised, you need to find out if reality lives up to fantasy.

Good luck I hope the outcome is good for both of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just ask her to go to the pics cos your mate let you down or something.

Do NOT confess anything. That comes later if things develop. Saves face if it comes to nothing also.

MY MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU. 'instantly falling in love' is infatuation/sexual attraction.

It's not love.

"

Agreed

You are infatuated with her.

Ask her out by all means, go on a date.

You will probably move onto the next one once you have got your end away.

Or

She could be your soulmate and we are all wrong.

But just don't blurt it out straight away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing worse than unrequited love.

I Know how you feel OP.

I fell in love with the lady who used to live opposite before I moved away. So gorgeous and kind amd has two young girls similar ages to mine and genuinely seems to care about me. We are still in touch. She doesnt know how I feel (At least I dont think she does)trouble is she has a partner and is to marry him soon and I would never do anything to jeapardise that.

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