FabSwingers.com forum: why should I explain

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Tell him cos there's a Y in the day

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

You shouldn't have to explain, so don't!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You shouldn't have to explain, so don't!!!!

Shouldn't have to but so many don't take the hint

I wonder if the guys have trouble getting rid of women they aren't into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!"

Do your thing.

Be happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to. Why do you think you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't bother after sending a polite response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block them. You no longer get the follow up 'but why not' whining.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't !

Just ignore once you've sent the polite not interested

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guess I'm too polite for my own good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't even reply. You've told them in a polite way thanks but no thanks

Kinky

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Then don't,.. delete block move on..

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why would you even bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Click on profile

Click on menu

4th option down, click it.

Job done.

*how many of you just checked that it's the 4th option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't explain or feel forced into doing so. Less is more.

If a guy asks why you aren't into him i can guarantee that your answer won't make them think 'you know what, she's got a point there'

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!"

If you wish to send a message, do so, but then block straight away

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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago

North West

I've been blocking ones I'm not interested in but then one naked me on his status warning people about me. Turns out him and another guy have been having a right old slanging off time about me. Called them both out and offered to meet them to sort it out like grown upso not kids that didn't get their own way!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No explanation other than no. Block if unreasonable always and don't discuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I send a message to someone and pray it gets read (maybe 1 in every 20 actually gets read) then I might try again a few days later if it's still unread, after all i'm no fool, I know you ladies get 100's of messages a day. But if it's read and deleted I'll take as a "no thanks". I always appreciate a reply, even if it IS to say no, but I don't pester, that's not my style.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See......I mailed you 2 months ago......I think I gave up after being buried in your inbox

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Why are some guys so needy..

Jeez, they give the normal men a bad reputation...

Just block the whiney lil scrote bucket and be done with it..

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Oh my god this is such a pet peeve of mine.

My "thanks but no thanks" message basically says "you're not what I'm looking for", and I often get the "then what are you looking for?" question.

I often (if I can be bothered) answer "someone I'm attracted to". That tends to nip returning messages in the bud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Nessa)

We have the "no single male" message filter on.

We then only contact men that we find local and have a nice profile OR men who are well mannered from the forums. This technique has proven it's worth. We can see how polite/rude/ or nasty..... and they don't realise.

We also use the private notes as reminders (good and bad)

For couples we explain what we are looking for and a thank you. That usually works.

Kisses

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By *evilsAdvocate72Woman
over a year ago

East

That why! Usually works for me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

Mindset of the average male on Fab:

"What do you mean you don't want to have sex with me? That's not fair - I mean, I want to have sex with YOU. I've done MY part.

What's YOUR problem?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See......I mailed you 2 months ago......I think I gave up after being buried in your inbox

You mean you wanted to buried in her 'inbox'

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Should be absolutely no need to explain and anyone that pesters us for one generally ends up meeting the block button. We tend to only respond to people that have taken the time to write a decent message that goes beyond the usual one liners and our response is always a closed statement along the lines of "Thanks for your message but we're not interested in taking things further." which tends to deter a further response.

Maybe we've been lucky but if we do get a response to a reply like that, it's mostly been a pleasant and polite "Thanks for letting me know" and the worst we've had has been pestering for a reason (which resulted in a blovk).

Either way I wouldn't worry about providing a reason OP, just block and move on.

Mr G

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!"

They can ask, if you choose to engage further that's your problem, so why complain about something you can control?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Don't

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!

They can ask, if you choose to engage further that's your problem, so why complain about something you can control? "

I agree with this. Most of the time , some of the women on here like the 'why' response. It gives them the opportunity to flick their hair and tut and go oooooooo he just wouldn't leave me alone.

Men are pursuant..... not give up at the first go losers.

Use your block button once your NO has been sent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You shouldn't have to explain, so don't!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can ask, if you choose to engage further that's your problem, so why complain about something you can control? "

^^^^

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

They chase me here, they chase me there, they chase me everywhere....

It's so very tiring....

Click one icon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!"

You don't have to explain, you don't even have to reply.

The reason they ask, is probably to try and perfect their approach. So someone further down the line might find them attractive I'd guess.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

If he was polite in the first place but not your type and asks politely maybe some feedback would be helpful.

Or .. If they are daft enough to ask tell them, truth hurts

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"If he was polite in the first place but not your type and asks politely maybe some feedback would be helpful.

Or .. If they are daft enough to ask tell them, truth hurts

I don't get this mentality.

We will NEVER have universal appeal: shocker to some people it would appear.

This is a site for people to meet those THEY find sexually attractive for sex. It's sheer arrogance and smacks of entitlement to expect someone to justify why they don't want to meet you.

Some people need to get over themselves!

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"If he was polite in the first place but not your type and asks politely maybe some feedback would be helpful.

Or .. If they are daft enough to ask tell them, truth hurts

I don't get this mentality.

We will NEVER have universal appeal: shocker to some people it would appear.

This is a site for people to meet those THEY find sexually attractive for sex. It's sheer arrogance and smacks of entitlement to expect someone to justify why they don't want to meet you.

Some people need to get over themselves! "

What mentality?

The lady asked and I offered an opinion as she seemed to want to reply or why the post?

I wouldn't expect an explanation I was just giving a suggestion.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

Actually re read her post and she doesn't seem to want to reply. But it was still only a suggestion after reading the other comments.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"If he was polite in the first place but not your type and asks politely maybe some feedback would be helpful.

Or .. If they are daft enough to ask tell them, truth hurts

I don't get this mentality.

We will NEVER have universal appeal: shocker to some people it would appear.

This is a site for people to meet those THEY find sexually attractive for sex. It's sheer arrogance and smacks of entitlement to expect someone to justify why they don't want to meet you.

Some people need to get over themselves!

What mentality?

The lady asked and I offered an opinion as she seemed to want to reply or why the post?

I wouldn't expect an explanation I was just giving a suggestion. "

The mentality of expecting people to explain why they don't want to meet you.

Why should they?

If you approach someone and they politely say thank you, but you're not what I'm looking for, why would you then write back asking why not and expect feedback?

That doesn't say "entitled" to you?

Little wonder some women simply block those they're not interested in to avoid the Spanish Inquisition!

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By *av big oneMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Why, when I tell a guy they aren't what I seek (nice way of saying I'm not attracted), why do they have to ask why

I'm not saying I'm God's gift to men, but I can be picky and only want to take the time to get to know people I'm attracted to

And yes I know my pics are hidden!"

I guess we can be a little curious if anything, but fair play to you for atleast responding because others wont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because here, as in most of life, 'No' invariably illicits a request for valuation of a negative response.

It happens in all facets of everyday life. Why would anyone think here should be any different?

What counts, is how both parties respond to it.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I don't use the 'you're not for me or you're not what I'm looking for' line as that gives them the opening for a follow up question. The 'why not or so what are you looking for'.

I just say thanks for your message but no thanks.

Any further messages are ignored, I said no I meant no, keep asking isn't going to change my answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a couple of men ask me why and I answered them.

But just because I chose to respond, doesn't mean I think everyone should.

I do what I want to do on here

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By *hrisANtifCouple
over a year ago

Napoli, Italy

Seeking out reason is what makes us human. It differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. It's the why concepts such as religion exist as the human race strives to assign a reason to our very existence!

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"If he was polite in the first place but not your type and asks politely maybe some feedback would be helpful.

Or .. If they are daft enough to ask tell them, truth hurts

I don't get this mentality.

We will NEVER have universal appeal: shocker to some people it would appear.

This is a site for people to meet those THEY find sexually attractive for sex. It's sheer arrogance and smacks of entitlement to expect someone to justify why they don't want to meet you.

Some people need to get over themselves!

What mentality?

The lady asked and I offered an opinion as she seemed to want to reply or why the post?

I wouldn't expect an explanation I was just giving a suggestion.

The mentality of expecting people to explain why they don't want to meet you.

Why should they?

If you approach someone and they politely say thank you, but you're not what I'm looking for, why would you then write back asking why not and expect feedback?

That doesn't say "entitled" to you?

Little wonder some women simply block those they're not interested in to avoid the Spanish Inquisition! "

My reply didn't mention a Spanish Inquisition, I don't remember reading that they tortured people politely.. I said IF they were polite she MAYBE could offer a reason.

So many people are put off simply by a shit avatar.

As you replied to my comment I assumed the

was directed at me

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