FabSwingers.com forum: Being self effacing ...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Used to drive my mum nuts as I used to say I had a good face for radio, which she obviously totally disagreed with

But it can also be seen as fishing for compliments if used on here (white knights to the rescue) so I never say anything tongue in cheek anymore as it can so easily be misconstrued ..

So my question is .. if you are on a downer, would you say something you know isn't quite true in order to get your confidence boosted ...

Over to you lot... and be nice, it's only a discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not sure - if im on a downer i tend to go into myself and say nowt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told off a couple of times because I make a few self-effacing comments but they are done tongue in cheek. It's difficult to convey that through text though.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Nope, I hate it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, not something I'd do. If I want an ego boost I'd go to real life friends or family or do something I know I'm good at.

I am quite self effacing naturally though, and people probably do see it as fishing for compliments sometimes.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Being truly self-effacing is OK, it's the false modesty I can't stand - you can feel the intent a mile away!

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Certainly don't do it for attention/ego boosts...but have always been self-deprecating, not through any lack of self-confidence etc, more out of a belief of if you can't laugh at yourself. Either way it tends to come out naturally to me.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often post self effacing comments just for the attention I get. You know "no-one ever says I have nice tits" or "guess I'm just to fat to swing", sady sad face...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be self-effacing. But I'm just crap at it

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I often post self effacing comments just for the attention I get. You know "no-one ever says I have nice tits" or "guess I'm just to fat to swing", sady sad face...

Yeah you're so bloody needy at time Clem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but I do joke around with my regular partners and some new men about my flabby body. I don't need an ego boost,I'm amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try to be self-effacing. But I'm just crap at it

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"not sure - if im on a downer i tend to go into myself and say nowt"

This and I go to bed and eat copious amounts of chocolate.

Or I get rage kinda depends on the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if given a compliment I tend to be extremely self effacing but if feeling low like to be alone in my own thoughts while in the kitchen cooking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

What you refer to is more self depreciation then self effacing.

Although don't quote me on that being the dozy twat with a fucking dreadful memory that i am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree with arrogance for arrogance sake, but it's often difficult to convey subtlety on here. It's a question of the readers perception of the comment I guess *gallic shrug*

Beard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often post self effacing comments just for the attention I get. You know "no-one ever says I have nice tits" or "guess I'm just to fat to swing", sady sad face...

Nice nipple

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Self-deprecation, I do it all the time, it`s not so I can compliments, I don`t need them as I know what I look like and I`m very realistic about how I look to other people, in a way it`s like getting the first shot in before they do

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By *emini1637Woman
over a year ago

Warwickshire

People have always passed comments about my looks, I say it before they do normally but it's definitely not for attention or compliments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

that's cool..

but you have avoided the question...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

Not bored but as we're correcting,it's positive,with an i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I do it

I mask it with cockiness on here though.

I hope I'm nicer in person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

Not bored but as we're correcting,it's positive,with an i

Along with spaces after commas.

This grammar naziing is contagious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

Not bored but as we're correcting,it's positive,with an i

Along with spaces after commas.

This grammar naziing is contagious

It really does make the day float by a little quicker

Should have known i'd get screwed by the lack of a spellchecker on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never...it's one of the things I can't stand about this site. Far too much fishing for compliments goes on - and giving praise that isn't deserved.

I'm pretty good at picking myself up if I feel down about myself, and I take all compliments given on here with a pinch of salt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I internalise. So rather than fish for compliments, I just go into my shell if I'm on a downer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Fabs, no I don't think I would because if nobody 'jumped to my rescue' & boosted my confidence I'd feel even worse.

In reality if I'm feeling in need of a boost I usually turn to singing or cooking, something I enjoy doing & can do quite well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just can't be self effacing as I'm happy with the way my body is and don't really care if someone does not like me or does not want to meet me

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By *heCuriousCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

We just have a wank / lady wank respectively.

Seems to do the trick

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Used to drive my mum nuts as I used to say I had a good face for radio, which she obviously totally disagreed with

But it can also be seen as fishing for compliments if used on here (white knights to the rescue) so I never say anything tongue in cheek anymore as it can so easily be misconstrued ..

So my question is .. if you are on a downer, would you say something you know isn't quite true in order to get your confidence boosted ...

Over to you lot... and be nice, it's only a discussion

As a man in here one would be very foolish to try and use the site to boost ones ego unless one looks like a Greek god then one may get ones ego boosted on here .

But then again if one looked like a Greek god one would be getting his ego boosted all the time so would have no need of a ego boost from here .

So as fishing for a compliment is just a simple way to try and get a easy ego boost .

As a average guy on here I think ones best bet is not to say very much that can be seen as looking for a compliment because if one is relying on getting said compliment one is going to be very disappointed more often than not .

Having said that feel free to Fab my pictures because I'm very very needy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am absolutely rubbish at receiving any kind of compliment. I just go very red and sheepish and my response is usually total garbage because my brain has decided that it is a good time to take a break just then!

Hence, I do not fish for compliments via false efacing posts.

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

I just look in a mirror to be selfie facing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just look in a mirror to be selfie facing"

Bravo!

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

"I just look in a mirror to be selfie facing

Bravo!

I'm here all weak

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

no whats the point its more important to like yourself not to rely on other people to make you feel better about yourself, also people do lie quite a lot saying people look good when they look sort of ok, or people just say things to be nice.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I often post self effacing comments just for the attention I get. You know "no-one ever says I have nice tits" or "guess I'm just to fat to swing", sady sad face...

Nice tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no whats the point its more important to like yourself not to rely on other people to make you feel better about yourself, also people do lie quite a lot saying people look good when they look sort of ok, or people just say things to be nice."

Or to get a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

Not bored but as we're correcting,it's positive,with an i

Along with spaces after commas.

This grammar naziing is contagious

It really does make the day float by a little quicker

Should have known i'd get screwed by the lack of a spellchecker on fab

I'm just lazy,I wouldn't bother with apostrophes but my phone adds them automatically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't take compliments very well so it would be pointless for me to do that!!

If someone compliments me on my looks, I always wonder what they are after??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't take compliments very well so it would be pointless for me to do that!!

If someone compliments me on my looks, I always wonder what they are after??

Sorry, I can't tell if you are being serious or witty... If someone compliments you on here I can pretty much guarantee they are after something indeed!

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

"I am absolutely rubbish at receiving any kind of compliment. I just go very red and sheepish and my response is usually total garbage because my brain has decided that it is a good time to take a break just then!

Hence, I do not fish for compliments via false efacing posts. "

Very red....And you grin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or to get a shag

I have a whole box of compliments to dish out right here. Som eof them are even genuine....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hence, I do not fish for compliments via false efacing posts.

Very red....And you grin

This too is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be effacing is to voice a low opinion of yourself

To be self-effacing is to withdraw ones self from other people

So you cant self-efface to get a posetive response you can be effacing to get a posetive response

(Sorry im bored so felt the need to correct)

Not bored but as we're correcting,it's positive,with an i

Along with spaces after commas.

This grammar naziing is contagious

It really does make the day float by a little quicker

Should have known i'd get screwed by the lack of a spellchecker on fab

I'm just lazy,I wouldn't bother with apostrophes but my phone adds them automatically

I need a new phone im sure the autocorrect in mine is hell bent on making me look like a tool half the time

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I take the piss out of people I like and I happen to mostly like myself. So if the odd sarcastic or self-effacing comment slips through then that'll be why. If I'm genuinely upset I'll tell people privately. Or just bottle it up. Neither of which means I'll air it on a public forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't take compliments very well so it would be pointless for me to do that!!

If someone compliments me on my looks, I always wonder what they are after??

Sorry, I can't tell if you are being serious or witty... If someone compliments you on here I can pretty much guarantee they are after something indeed!

Deadly serious!!!

I feel that you shouldn't pay a compliment to someone just because you are after something, wether that be on here on in normal life.

I've paid compliments to people on here but it's not because I want to have sex with them!!! It's a nice thing to do if someone looks good or has done something nice for someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't take compliments very well so it would be pointless for me to do that!!

If someone compliments me on my looks, I always wonder what they are after??

Sorry, I can't tell if you are being serious or witty... If someone compliments you on here I can pretty much guarantee they are after something indeed!

Deadly serious!!!

I feel that you shouldn't pay a compliment to someone just because you are after something, wether that be on here on in normal life.

I've paid compliments to people on here but it's not because I want to have sex with them!!! It's a nice thing to do if someone looks good or has done something nice for someone else."

I did rather generalise sweepingly there didn't I?

But thank you for clarifying that.

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