FabSwingers.com forum: Should I message her?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.

I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?

I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it! I'd love a man to generally like me in that way, so respectful.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you've got to be in it to win it, as they say...

man up and grow a pair and get texting

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By *akeyousmile30Man
over a year ago

greenwich

"Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.

I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me

Send her a message, be polite and honest then you will know you can do no more.

See what happens.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Definitely message her!!! At least you'll know one way or the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

MTFU princess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have you got to lose? Life is too short. Go for it

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.

I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me

Is she on here?

Does she know you are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with the other posters here. If you do nothing, nothing will happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do it! If you don't try you won't know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't know til you try, go for it OP and good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't know til you try, go for it OP and good luck

Best thing I ever did was message the lovely Miss Raspberry

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By *eon SaintsCouple
over a year ago

Citywest

Definately text her!! If you don't you'll always wonder what if

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Go for it, can't hurt right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.

I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me

Is she on here?

Does she know you are?

Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?"

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.

I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me

Is she on here?

Does she know you are?

Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did"

Tell her pretty much what you told us.

Got nothing to lose!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her."

I would say that due to it having 'fizzled out' for her... your own words, I wouldn't bother her anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/09/16 17:30:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she found out you was seeing someone else 2 weeks ago ...I know that would put me off especially if you hadn't made a move in 3 months

( just my opinion)

A x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

persoannly i am saying no , if it fizzled out, then chance was missed x sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her , nothing ventured , nothing gained.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly "

I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"persoannly i am saying no , if it fizzled out, then chance was missed x sorry x"

Have to agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the worst that can happen and what's the best?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly "

oops

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By *xx1Man
over a year ago

Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did

I think deep down you know... She has told you, that for her " it's fizzled out"

but, your desire for her, hasn't diminished in any way.

I, and many others think it'll be best to contact her. At least you will know for sure.

But, be prepared. You may not get the reply you want....

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly

I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you. "

Maybe maybe not. Love to find out though

these youngens do have skills you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly

oops"

you know you both are my no1 darlings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly

I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you.

Maybe maybe not. Love to find out though

these youngens do have skills you know

how are you at multitasking

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe she found out you was seeing someone else 2 weeks ago ...I know that would put me off especially if you hadn't made a move in 3 months

( just my opinion)

A x "

I didn't meet anyone while I was seeing her. We stopped taking about 4-5 weeks ago. We'd been chatting but like I said only managed to meet about 4-5 times. I know I missed a chance and that's what doing my head in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it, can't hurt right?

And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey

2nd best- I can live with it

See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision

Quickly backtracking

I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly

I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you.

Maybe maybe not. Love to find out though

these youngens do have skills you know

how are you at multitasking

Very good multitasker I do it for a living very useful life skill it is indeed

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

Tell her. Was in a situation myself recently where I started getting close someone from work. Fancied her instantly and started getting closer to the point we were texting and talking all day every day. We'd been out a few times but it was all in the friend zone. I eventually told her I liked her as more than friends and asked if we could go on a date to see how it went. She agreed, we had an amazing day and a heart to heart where it became clear we weren't only close but wed already totally fallen for each other. Been together near 6 months now and every day with her is incredible. Getting to the stage we are contemplating setting up life together. I took a chance asking her out, could've blown the friends thing if she'd said no.

Yeah I'm still on here purely because I enjoy reading the forums, no longer meet.

Moral of the story is tho, take a chance and great things can happen.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did she know you on fab for over a year? Might she have found out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, tell you how you feel, but don't do it in a begging way. Put the ball in her court. And if she still says no, put it down to experience and walk away.

In the meantime, instead of listening to what a girl says, look at her actions and learn to read her body language, learn the signs, because actions really do speak louder than words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tch! Tell 'her' how you feel.

Bloomin typos. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know and you should never listen to me anyway!..

The nice guy in me says go for it...i wish you luck, make it awesome not some drippy rubbish.... but like many others have said "be prepared for the worst" (and there is nothing worse than that feeling at that moment as im sure many would agree) but if you scared to have your heart broken you will get nowhere....shoot for the moon, if you miss you are still amongst the stars

But wait...

Now the middle guy in me says....dude, she aint into you just move on bud...that old dribble... something about "let them free and if they return" blah blah...yeah whatever.

If you read on from here im sorry bud...

Mr D says....stop being a bitch and airing shite, like its gonna help you get laid or worse

..that is you are actually serious then man the feck up!.....i know your game son!

I did warn you!....nah honestly good luck bud im just messing with you.....sounds like the dreaded 'L' word is close by.....(mr D said run for the hills...run boy run!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really appreciate the responds guys. I may as well just go for it. Even if it doesn't go the way I want it might give me a bit more closure on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell her. Was in a situation myself recently where I started getting close someone from work. Fancied her instantly and started getting closer to the point we were texting and talking all day every day. We'd been out a few times but it was all in the friend zone. I eventually told her I liked her as more than friends and asked if we could go on a date to see how it went. She agreed, we had an amazing day and a heart to heart where it became clear we weren't only close but wed already totally fallen for each other. Been together near 6 months now and every day with her is incredible. Getting to the stage we are contemplating setting up life together. I took a chance asking her out, could've blown the friends thing if she'd said no.

Yeah I'm still on here purely because I enjoy reading the forums, no longer meet.

Moral of the story is tho, take a chance and great things can happen.

Good luck"

Awww!

I agree.. ask her OP. You've got nothing to lose and it may be a happy ending. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message her. Even if you don't get the outcome you want, at least you won't always be wondering what if.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Message her. Even if you don't get the outcome you want, at least you won't always be wondering what if."

Spot on. It's better to know so you don't look back in years to come and wonder. It's not the no's that haunt you in later life, it's the don't knows...

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Hasn't she already said it fizzled out for her?

Unless I've misread the OP, I'd leave her alone, she's given you the brush off and "needy" is never a good look, IMO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have absolutely nothing to lose by messaging her and possibly everything to gain. If she doesn't respond, you are still better off because you know exactly where you stand. If you don't, this will always be at the back of your mind.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I've re-read the OP and it definitely says that he was told by the girl in question that it had fizzled out for her.

Do you lot really think that pestering someone after they have already turned you down is a good idea?

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By *roken77Man
over a year ago

Blackpool

[Removed by poster at 19/09/16 22:32:39]

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

In the minority here.....but que sera, sera.... If it was meant to be, it would have happened....if it is meant to be, it will happen.....don't force it! A moment may occur where a genuine reason to make contact may happen.....otherwise in the meantime, embrace life

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By *roken77Man
over a year ago

Blackpool

sadly i think as she's said its fizzled out for her there is no point in chasing her romantically

keep in touch by all means, and stay friends - you never know she might come back to wanting your attentions in more than a friends way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've re-read the OP and it definitely says that he was told by the girl in question that it had fizzled out for her.

Do you lot really think that pestering someone after they have already turned you down is a good idea?"

I don't think pestering is a good idea, no. But she may have said it fizzled out because she felt his apathy about the situation. Nothing worse than feeling like the spark isn't mutual.

If he tells her he does feel that spark it may be enough to get her back. Or it may make her think he's a nutjob. But at least he'll know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know women change their minds like the weather. Talk to her,you never know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would leave it.....if it's fizzled out before it's even got going you've no chance....a new relationship should get more and more exciting....not fizzle out after 5 meets x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say "message her again", what did you message her before for her to say it's fizzled out?

If I'd said that to someone then they told me what they felt, they'd still be no going back, because she may have liked you before, but due to not seeing one another she's moved on. If you message her then be prepared for an outcome that may not go in your favour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go for it! I'd love a man to generally like me in that way, so respectful.

Good luck "

All of this

Good luck OP

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