FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How do I..

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Get over someone who I know is no good..has no regard for me..no respect..treats me like the proverbial..compulsive liar etc etc

He isn't on fab I should point out.

And yet from the minute I met him about 2 years ago now.. I was in lust.. we did fuck a year ago..and I know from how he treats me it can't happen again but to quote Kylie I just can't get him out of my head..I haven't even seen him for months and months and all it takes is for a mutual friend to say his name and I'm pining for him like a fuckin schoolgirl again..knowing what a prick he is..just the thought of how he kissed me makes my stomach flip with excitement..it's an actual physical feeling..just thinking about him turns me on..and yet I know he's a bad person but I just can't help it.

How can I get over him?

I've been with people since him..I have a full life. I know I want him but my morals wont let me go back there but when I think of him my heart skips a beat.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remember what a shit he is.

There WILL come a time when you find yourself wondering what you saw in him. There will come a time when you won't give him a second thought.

There's no timelimit on that though....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Learn to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Just remember what a shit he is.

There WILL come a time when you find yourself wondering what you saw in him. There will come a time when you won't give him a second thought.

There's no timelimit on that though...."

This is the only answer you will get there x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just remember what a shit he is.

There WILL come a time when you find yourself wondering what you saw in him. There will come a time when you won't give him a second thought.

There's no timelimit on that though...."

I just wish it would come sooner... We didn't even have a relationship..just friendship and one fuck ( though I wanted more) so it's not like we were even 'together'. Just can't understand why it's taking so long..probably because I still want him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Allow yourself to let the heartbeat skip and then let your brain do your thinking for you, which you already seem to be doing. It's your idea of him and not the reality that draws you since you can rationalise the two. So don't try not to feel but be aware that those feelings will lessen in time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Learn to love yourself enough to know you deserve better."

I know that..he wanted to fuck more times but I kept saying no to him. Coz I knew I'd be the one that was hurt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bury him in kitten poo

Buy a fake elbow

Move to Toronto

Watch a Joanna Lumley documentary

He'll be out of you hair soon enough

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Allow yourself to let the heartbeat skip and then let your brain do your thinking for you, which you already seem to be doing. It's your idea of him and not the reality that draws you since you can rationalise the two. So don't try not to feel but be aware that those feelings will lessen in time."

Thank you..I think you're right..let the feelings run their course but listen to the head.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"Learn to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

I know that..he wanted to fuck more times but I kept saying no to him. Coz I knew I'd be the one that was hurt. "

Ok

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just remember what a shit he is.

There WILL come a time when you find yourself wondering what you saw in him. There will come a time when you won't give him a second thought.

There's no timelimit on that though....

I just wish it would come sooner... We didn't even have a relationship..just friendship and one fuck ( though I wanted more) so it's not like we were even 'together'. Just can't understand why it's taking so long..probably because I still want him."

Because if you want someone you want them. It'll come. It'll be like a light switch being turned off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bury him in kitten poo

He'll be out of you hair soon enough "

That line made me lol!

And I hope so. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it. It's probably what my ex has done, and what I should probably do.

Find someone you want more.

Sorry, That's all I have.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just get under our skin, and we can't shake them off. Only time can help that. Sometimes it's harder if they treat us like shit, because we internalise it, and wonder what we could have done to keep them interested. He's most likely unfinished business in your head, as you never managed to get closure. The strange thing is, if he'd stuck around, you'd probably be over him by now, because you would have had enough of the shit. There is no limit on how long it takes to stop thinking about someone, everybody is different just try to think of how bad it would have been if he had wanted more, and how much more you deserve in a potential partner. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Because if you want someone you want them. It'll come. It'll be like a light switch being turned off. "

And if I could see the switch to flip it I would flip it now. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"Learn to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

I know that..he wanted to fuck more times but I kept saying no to him. Coz I knew I'd be the one that was hurt. "

.

I would say go on. Have fun with him minus the emotion.

Treat it as if it's one of your fabs meets.

Just an idea.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

getting hooked to the potential of a situation and the reality of a situation causes internal conflict..stick to the facts, whenever you wobble, and know if you go 'out there' there will be someone else who can make your feelings feel all of a flutter, without the bullshit..but if you dont get out there you wont find it. so focus your energy on the future and finding another and not leaking energy to one aspect that was good for you amongst a pile of toxic behaviour xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One day you'll realise you've not thought about him in ages or his name being mentioned doesn't bother you. It might happen due to the passage of time or someone else will grab your attention more. Good thing is you know he's no good for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get it. It's probably what my ex has done, and what I should probably do.

Find someone you want more.

Sorry, That's all I have. "

And thank you...good advice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get it. It's probably what my ex has done, and what I should probably do.

Find someone you want more.

Sorry, That's all I have.

And thank you...good advice. "

You're welcome. I'm guessing you'll be fine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people just get under our skin, and we can't shake them off. Only time can help that. Sometimes it's harder if they treat us like shit, because we internalise it, and wonder what we could have done to keep them interested. He's most likely unfinished business in your head, as you never managed to get closure. The strange thing is, if he'd stuck around, you'd probably be over him by now, because you would have had enough of the shit. There is no limit on how long it takes to stop thinking about someone, everybody is different just try to think of how bad it would have been if he had wanted more, and how much more you deserve in a potential partner. X"

Under my skin is very accurate.

I've gotten over relationships quicker than this dipshit!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"getting hooked to the potential of a situation and the reality of a situation causes internal conflict..stick to the facts, whenever you wobble, and know if you go 'out there' there will be someone else who can make your feelings feel all of a flutter, without the bullshit..but if you dont get out there you wont find it. so focus your energy on the future and finding another and not leaking energy to one aspect that was good for you amongst a pile of toxic behaviour xx"

Thank you..toxic behaviour is very true. You're right..someone will make me feel all of a flutter..someone does already..but toxic still does too. It will go..just driving me crazy waiting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One day you'll realise you've not thought about him in ages or his name being mentioned doesn't bother you. It might happen due to the passage of time or someone else will grab your attention more. Good thing is you know he's no good for you.

"

Months had already gone by till someone mentioned him..I've asked the person in question not to mention him again as they know the situation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"getting hooked to the potential of a situation and the reality of a situation causes internal conflict..stick to the facts, whenever you wobble, and know if you go 'out there' there will be someone else who can make your feelings feel all of a flutter, without the bullshit..but if you dont get out there you wont find it. so focus your energy on the future and finding another and not leaking energy to one aspect that was good for you amongst a pile of toxic behaviour xx

Thank you..toxic behaviour is very true. You're right..someone will make me feel all of a flutter..someone does already..but toxic still does too. It will go..just driving me crazy waiting."

the trick is in not waiting...start acting like it doesnt matter and sooner or later that will be true ..imo... xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

the trick is in not waiting...start acting like it doesnt matter and sooner or later that will be true ..imo... xxx"

Very true!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over someone who I know is no good..has no regard for me..no respect..treats me like the proverbial..compulsive liar etc etc

He isn't on fab I should point out.

And yet from the minute I met him about 2 years ago now.. I was in lust.. we did fuck a year ago..and I know from how he treats me it can't happen again but to quote Kylie I just can't get him out of my head..I haven't even seen him for months and months and all it takes is for a mutual friend to say his name and I'm pining for him like a fuckin schoolgirl again..knowing what a prick he is..just the thought of how he kissed me makes my stomach flip with excitement..it's an actual physical feeling..just thinking about him turns me on..and yet I know he's a bad person but I just can't help it.

How can I get over him?

I've been with people since him..I have a full life. I know I want him but my morals wont let me go back there but when I think of him my heart skips a beat.

"

Another distraction

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go and fuck him again, I bet the fantasy is nowhere near as good as the reality, it seldom is, then you will realise he's not all that and move on, on the other hand if it as good then you're fooked. I know that physical yearn you feel tho, it's crippling isn't it. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Another distraction"

Had other distractions..still he bugs my head.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go and fuck him again, I bet the fantasy is nowhere near as good as the reality, it seldom is, then you will realise he's not all that and move on, on the other hand if it as good then you're fooked. I know that physical yearn you feel tho, it's crippling isn't it. x"

I just can't go there again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer will be like your name, serendipitous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The answer will be like your name, serendipitous "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"Learn to love yourself enough to know you deserve better."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Learn to live in the moment , I do know how you feel. Some one very special has just returned into my life , as a friend . I really missed hearing about their days news. It's great to be able to again .

As for your chap , you have to decide what is best for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Learn to live in the moment , I do know how you feel. Some one very special has just returned into my life , as a friend . I really missed hearing about their days news. It's great to be able to again .

As for your chap , you have to decide what is best for you. "

Yes..stop dwelling on the past because he can't be a part of my future however attractive that may be. Thank you honey. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Figure out what you really wanted to happen so you can get closure.

Maybe play it through in your head... you got him and he was yours. Then he started to be an arse like you know he is.

Think about how horrible it makes you feel knowing that he would do that to you. Play the relationship in your head as though it was months or years of heartache. Eventually your self preservation kicks in and one day you think it's time to fuck him off. He doesn't even care you told him it's over. And that's when you know you're better than this and him.

And then you finally get closure. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Learn to live in the moment , I do know how you feel. Some one very special has just returned into my life , as a friend . I really missed hearing about their days news. It's great to be able to again .

As for your chap , you have to decide what is best for you.

Yes..stop dwelling on the past because he can't be a part of my future however attractive that may be. Thank you honey. X"

Yep live in the moment, only two days that are beyond your control, yesterday and tomorrow.

If you catch yourself thinking to much about them. Stop ! Then congratulate yourself for noticing your mind was wandering. Be compassionate with yourself as you are with others xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Figure out what you really wanted to happen so you can get closure.

Maybe play it through in your head... you got him and he was yours. Then he started to be an arse like you know he is.

Think about how horrible it makes you feel knowing that he would do that to you. Play the relationship in your head as though it was months or years of heartache. Eventually your self preservation kicks in and one day you think it's time to fuck him off. He doesn't even care you told him it's over. And that's when you know you're better than this and him.

And then you finally get closure. x"

Thank you..I'll try that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yep live in the moment, only two days that are beyond your control, yesterday and tomorrow.

If you catch yourself thinking to much about them. Stop ! Then congratulate yourself for noticing your mind was wandering. Be compassionate with yourself as you are with others xx"

I have to get a grip you're right. .x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Figure out what you really wanted to happen so you can get closure.

Maybe play it through in your head... you got him and he was yours. Then he started to be an arse like you know he is.

Think about how horrible it makes you feel knowing that he would do that to you. Play the relationship in your head as though it was months or years of heartache. Eventually your self preservation kicks in and one day you think it's time to fuck him off. He doesn't even care you told him it's over. And that's when you know you're better than this and him.

And then you finally get closure. x"

LOL, VERY good strategy!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've just found him on here. He joined during the night and already looked at my profile. I've blocked him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *essThePirateWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Bury him in kitten poo

He'll be out of you hair soon enough

That line made me lol!

And I hope so. X"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *essThePirateWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Bury him in kitten poo

He'll be out of you hair soon enough

That line made me lol!

And I hope so. X"

He is your not actually there bench mark, lust..day dream..your wanted...

No never had one at all myself

But just came across a mighty similar name on social media...and he had two posts up about how he didn't want to be in such a claustrophobic and stiffling relationship...

It did rather help..

Look. He will have some dork characteristics and ego thingy...

Hopefully be will be erased soon

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top