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Struggling to cope...

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull

Here I am at 60+, thinking I was strong and would never be in this position but now I am, can't figure a way out!

Moved within company 6 months ago but job expectations have not matched reality. It is tough, as only guy amongst 12 female colleagues.

Company wanted to demote me in title, role, salary etc but I refused to accept. They did so anyway, but I won on appeal and was restored to existing levels and T&C's.

But bullying has continued, subtle at times but I know my face doesn't fit in here. Line management up to Senior levels are complicit.

What started as stress is now Depression, and being treated as such. Sleep is difficult each night and exhaustion creeps in each day. Yes, I make mistakes, but these are broadcast on public forum emails, which adds to my stress, strain and growing lack of confidence in my job!

GP and my Union rep are outstanding. Trying to look for work, but severe Internet access issues in this region make online applications impossible. Only decent Net access thru ny small phone.

Thus feeling kind of isolated, emotionally drained and wondering what to do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww, that's really shit OP.

I hope things resolve positively for you! Xx

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Go off sick, cut a deal, go for early retirement...

Sail off into the sunset and not give them another thought...

?

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree with what joe said.

Depending on how much sick pay you get, (I get 12 months) I'd go off sick with stress and play the system all with the mentality of fuck em.

Sounds a shit thing to do, but from what you've said things aren't going to change.

Take the time off to regroup yourself and start fresh with something new.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this. Sending you well wishes. Your health is more important then any job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that buddy.

You said your GP has been great so that's the first step with depression. There's a great thread on here entitled

'does anyone else suffer?'

You're definitely not alone.

Sounds like you need to be away from work. Explain that to your GP, they'll write you a sick note.

Hope you manage to sort things out.

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By *uddlybear2015Man
over a year ago

BEDFORD

Sue the bastards for constructive dismissal,out them in public tribunal. No body should be exposed to bullying from corporate dicks. Good Luck in whatever course of action you decide to take.

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull


"Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative."

He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Have looked at Sickness sign off, but our Co only does SSP and with them taking off £50 pw for live in costs, it's not a viable option.

I could walk out but that could affect benefits. Plus finding f/t work at 61, is daunting!

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall


"He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!"

Sounds like a pretty crappy union to be a member of in my opinion.

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull


"He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Sounds like a pretty crappy union to be a member of in my opinion."

TBH, he actually has managed to stop me being a victim of incorrectly applied and illegal disciplinary processes which in turn has put more noses out of joint in work.

We have no HR dept locally, just some central HR guy at HO who doesn't know ne amongst 4000+ staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That sounds awful. Would it be a possibility for you to set a small business up on your own in something?

If it's affecting your health I would seriously consider getting signed off. No job is worth making yourself ill over. Just because no-one has won a case before doesn't mean you won't. Sounds pretty conclusive. I hope things get better soon pardon my French but I fucking well despise bullies.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I hope you find a good solution

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull


"That sounds awful. Would it be a possibility for you to set a small business up on your own in something?

If it's affecting your health I would seriously consider getting signed off. No job is worth making yourself ill over. Just because no-one has won a case before doesn't mean you won't. Sounds pretty conclusive. I hope things get better soon pardon my French but I fucking well despise bullies."

The route down Constructive Dismissal is a strong possibility. I have always kept notes but the company didn't on the first 3 months which helps my case

My business field is on a high at the mo, and support from contacts and those in industry is great. I just hate to make the right move and it's scary

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull


"That sounds awful. Would it be a possibility for you to set a small business up on your own in something?

If it's affecting your health I would seriously consider getting signed off. No job is worth making yourself ill over. Just because no-one has won a case before doesn't mean you won't. Sounds pretty conclusive. I hope things get better soon pardon my French but I fucking well despise bullies.

The route down Constructive Dismissal is a strong possibility. I have always kept notes but the company didn't on the first 3 months which helps my case

My business field is on a high at the mo, and support from contacts and those in industry is great. I just hate to make the right move and it's scary"

Typo. have to make the right move!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative.

He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Have looked at Sickness sign off, but our Co only does SSP and with them taking off £50 pw for live in costs, it's not a viable option.

I could walk out but that could affect benefits. Plus finding f/t work at 61, is daunting!"

Sorry to hear about your situation, from what you have said sign off is not the option you feel you can take.

As I see it coping with what is happening and being able to manage your situation is important, perhaps look for help available with mental health, whilst your current issues in work may continue you should hopefully have coping mechanisms in place that help with your health issues. Medication has its place but so does support.

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull


"Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative.

He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Have looked at Sickness sign off, but our Co only does SSP and with them taking off £50 pw for live in costs, it's not a viable option.

I could walk out but that could affect benefits. Plus finding f/t work at 61, is daunting!

Sorry to hear about your situation, from what you have said sign off is not the option you feel you can take.

As I see it coping with what is happening and being able to manage your situation is important, perhaps look for help available with mental health, whilst your current issues in work may continue you should hopefully have coping mechanisms in place that help with your health issues. Medication has its place but so does support. "

Thanks to you and everyone else. At the back of this, I know the relentless pressure will continue. I know, as do my supporters too, my job will cease sometime in the next 2 months as the company slowly exerts all their due processes. I am a thorn in their side, as they now have to do everything legally and they hate that!

My GP says that time, however difficult, will be a release and take the pressure off.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I would check any social media/internet policy just in case you are in breach of it by discussing your case publically. I know you don't name but just make sure for peace of mind.

I would remove your face picture until it is resolved,

Start now to prepare your case and walk through the timeline, your concerns, any meetings that were held. Did you ask for additional support and do any poor performance action plans detail any additional support given to you.

Do any return to work documents following sick leave speak to you facing additional pressure in work.

Have you asked for a meeting with HR.

Good luck and getting yourself as strong as possible is key. then fight them all the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you can resolve this satisfactorily as your health is important.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This kind of thing happens more than it should, I'm not sure how some of these people sleep at night.

I'm with the poster above who said get what you can and walk away. Do you have a private pension, is redundancy and early retirement a possibility? Your health and peace of mind are far more important than your job. I hope tho he turn out well.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I hope this turns out well that should say .

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"Here I am at 60+, thinking I was strong and would never be in this position but now I am, can't figure a way out!

Moved within company 6 months ago but job expectations have not matched reality. It is tough, as only guy amongst 12 female colleagues.

Company wanted to demote me in title, role, salary etc but I refused to accept. They did so anyway, but I won on appeal and was restored to existing levels and T&C's.

But bullying has continued, subtle at times but I know my face doesn't fit in here. Line management up to Senior levels are complicit.

What started as stress is now Depression, and being treated as such. Sleep is difficult each night and exhaustion creeps in each day. Yes, I make mistakes, but these are broadcast on public forum emails, which adds to my stress, strain and growing lack of confidence in my job!

GP and my Union rep are outstanding. Trying to look for work, but severe Internet access issues in this region make online applications impossible. Only decent Net access thru ny small phone.

Thus feeling kind of isolated, emotionally drained and wondering what to do..."

I'll try to get my flatmate (who specialises in employment law and is on Fab!) to have a look at this asap but I think you might have a good case here.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As others have said, get mental health support for your wellbeing. Ask your union for wider support too.

And as someone pointed out - keep your profile private and protected, should they dig around.

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By *tuartb1970Man
over a year ago

tunbridge wells

I recently took on an 18 year old girl at work who was bullied mercilessly at her old job by the entire management team because she was extremely good with her customers and knew her job inside out.

The stress of going into work made her ill to the point that she had to be prescribed antidepressants.

18 years old and on antidepressants that shocked me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative.

He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Have looked at Sickness sign off, but our Co only does SSP and with them taking off £50 pw for live in costs, it's not a viable option.

I could walk out but that could affect benefits. Plus finding f/t work at 61, is daunting!"

Hmmmmmmm, just because no one wins doesn't mean you can't.

Frequently "no one wins" can be a myth perpetrated to dissuade people from taking action.

I took a previous company to an industrial tribunal. Second largest construction company in the world, global turnover £37m a day.

They turned up with all their senior directors, top legal team, all fighting little old me, all on my ownsome.

I won. The details of the financial settlement are subject to a non disclosure agreement.

So OP, keep your evidence close, don't leave it on the company pc.

Get signed off long term sick and rip them a new one.

Good luck!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Broadcast on public forum emails?

Keep hard copies by taking screenshots...it would at least be useful evidence at a tribunal or for your union representative.

He already has these. I copy everything as I know it adds to ny case. But our company has really good lawyers and no one ever wins against them!

Have looked at Sickness sign off, but our Co only does SSP and with them taking off £50 pw for live in costs, it's not a viable option.

I could walk out but that could affect benefits. Plus finding f/t work at 61, is daunting!

Hmmmmmmm, just because no one wins doesn't mean you can't.

Frequently "no one wins" can be a myth perpetrated to dissuade people from taking action.

I took a previous company to an industrial tribunal. Second largest construction company in the world, global turnover £37m a day.

They turned up with all their senior directors, top legal team, all fighting little old me, all on my ownsome.

I won. The details of the financial settlement are subject to a non disclosure agreement.

So OP, keep your evidence close, don't leave it on the company pc.

Get signed off long term sick and rip them a new one.

Good luck!!!!!!!

"

As above OP a lot of companies say they are unbeatable and alot of people believe it. But in reality alot of companies lose and settle with one of the conditions being a NDA so nobody hears about it. Play the card of being forced out causing you ill health and due to ill health caused by them and age you feel it impossible to find further employment. You may even get a settlement for the equivalent of the rest of the time you would've worked there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go off sick, cut a deal, go for early retirement...

Sail off into the sunset and not give them another thought...

?"

This

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By *anderer8707Man
over a year ago

Telford

OP, I can talk from a position of experience, and with a Brother who has been an extremely succesful Employment Lawyer.

I believe an extremely pertinent point to make is don't allow yourself to be bullied by your employer.

You stated previously that you would not be optimisitec of a positive outcome in any tribunal because they have very good Lawyers. My response to this is don't be intimidated. By far, the majority of tribunal appeals fail (before they get to Court) because the 'employee' believes the 'employer' must be right and can't be succesfully challenged. In practice, this is total rubbish and, if you can muster the courage to persevere to the Tribunal hearing, your chances of success are, actually, extremely high.

It looks, to me, as though any chance of a reconciliation with your employer is gone, so give thought to what you stand to lose by challenging them and, at the very least, you will retain your self respect, which might not sound much but I can assure you, it will mean a lot in the times when you are looking back on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, I can talk from a position of experience, and with a Brother who has been an extremely succesful Employment Lawyer.

I believe an extremely pertinent point to make is don't allow yourself to be bullied by your employer.

You stated previously that you would not be optimisitec of a positive outcome in any tribunal because they have very good Lawyers. My response to this is don't be intimidated. By far, the majority of tribunal appeals fail (before they get to Court) because the 'employee' believes the 'employer' must be right and can't be succesfully challenged. In practice, this is total rubbish and, if you can muster the courage to persevere to the Tribunal hearing, your chances of success are, actually, extremely high.

It looks, to me, as though any chance of a reconciliation with your employer is gone, so give thought to what you stand to lose by challenging them and, at the very least, you will retain your self respect, which might not sound much but I can assure you, it will mean a lot in the times when you are looking back on this."

good luck I hope it goes your way . No one deserves to be treated in this manner

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Either what Joe or View said, certainly you need to be careful of what you reveal on here when your face picture is public as they will use it against you if they can and gross misconduct albeit a trumped up one is stressful..

Whatever you do stay strong, and whilst not knowing your personal circumstances etc just try and focus on you because at the end of the day we should not be in ill health due to what goes on at work..

good luck..

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 14/09/16 10:28:53]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If you are in a Union then you probably have legal protection. Have you not discussed this with you rep? When it gets to the stage of grievances and appeals it is unlikely your job is going to get any better. If your health is suffering to the extent that it is, and is a result of their actions, then seek legal advice. If you are not covered, consider paying for it or simply walking and enjoying the breeze. Getting a decent lawyer may well give understanding of legal aspects of constructive dismissal, harassment, sexism, ageism or impact to health though only you can act or debate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just had a read through this post, I took a big big company to an Industrial tribunal, Myself, The Union which i had paid into for 18 years would not back me, So I thought what have i got to lose, When i got there, there where three judges if you call them that, One from the CBI, a trade unionist and a completely independent judge, so basically you have two judges on your side from the start, I won my case, So dont be intimidated just becasue they have Solicitors. If you think your right then go for it,I put up with sh.t from the company Boss for three years, i felt like you have described, i only wish i had took action a long time before i got in that position , Which i will never get myself into again or put up with Bulling from anyone.Best wishes hope all goes well for you.,

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You might consider taking your profile pictures off public _iew if you are taking things like this on.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"I'd agree with what joe said.

Depending on how much sick pay you get, (I get 12 months) I'd go off sick with stress and play the system all with the mentality of fuck em.

Sounds a shit thing to do, but from what you've said things aren't going to change.

Take the time off to regroup yourself and start fresh with something new."

this if you can xx life isnt worth living if you are fighting all the time..sending energy for you to be able to see a positive outcome of this for you (sod the company) but dont spend any more time struggling with fuckers that don't give a shit about you as a human..start loving yourself and work baby steps, from that point xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, I can talk from a position of experience, and with a Brother who has been an extremely succesful Employment Lawyer.

I believe an extremely pertinent point to make is don't allow yourself to be bullied by your employer.

You stated previously that you would not be optimisitec of a positive outcome in any tribunal because they have very good Lawyers. My response to this is don't be intimidated. By far, the majority of tribunal appeals fail (before they get to Court) because the 'employee' believes the 'employer' must be right and can't be succesfully challenged. In practice, this is total rubbish and, if you can muster the courage to persevere to the Tribunal hearing, your chances of success are, actually, extremely high.

It looks, to me, as though any chance of a reconciliation with your employer is gone, so give thought to what you stand to lose by challenging them and, at the very least, you will retain your self respect, which might not sound much but I can assure you, it will mean a lot in the times when you are looking back on this."

Damn right!!!!!!!!

My situation became frankly ridiculous.

Bearing in mind the tribunal placed the NDA and heavily criticised the companies procedures.

A couple of years later, during an inter_iew, the subject of my IT case came up.

I asked how they new, turns out they had checked my references and the company had written back telling my prospective employer all about it. The guy inter_iewing me said he felt they had overstepped the mark, so I cheekily asked for a copy of the letter, which duly arrived.

I went back to the tribunal and presented the letter.

A further settlement duly arrived.

Industrial Tribunals take this kind of shit very seriously and frequently find in favour of the small guy......

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

How long have you been with the company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, I can talk from a position of experience, and with a Brother who has been an extremely succesful Employment Lawyer.

I believe an extremely pertinent point to make is don't allow yourself to be bullied by your employer.

You stated previously that you would not be optimisitec of a positive outcome in any tribunal because they have very good Lawyers. My response to this is don't be intimidated. By far, the majority of tribunal appeals fail (before they get to Court) because the 'employee' believes the 'employer' must be right and can't be succesfully challenged. In practice, this is total rubbish and, if you can muster the courage to persevere to the Tribunal hearing, your chances of success are, actually, extremely high.

It looks, to me, as though any chance of a reconciliation with your employer is gone, so give thought to what you stand to lose by challenging them and, at the very least, you will retain your self respect, which might not sound much but I can assure you, it will mean a lot in the times when you are looking back on this.

Damn right!!!!!!!!

My situation became frankly ridiculous.

Bearing in mind the tribunal placed the NDA and heavily criticised the companies procedures.

A couple of years later, during an inter_iew, the subject of my IT case came up.

I asked how they new, turns out they had checked my references and the company had written back telling my prospective employer all about it. The guy inter_iewing me said he felt they had overstepped the mark, so I cheekily asked for a copy of the letter, which duly arrived.

I went back to the tribunal and presented the letter.

A further settlement duly arrived.

Industrial Tribunals take this kind of shit very seriously and frequently find in favour of the small guy......

"

This

When i had my tribunal the judge basically told the companies legal to shut up and speak when spoken to because he kept interrupting.Theyre very much on the side of the little guy doesnt matter how big the company is or how good the legal team is. Tribunals are there to protect tge little guy and stop you from being abused by the company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like it's a horrid situation and from the context, they are behaving very badly. Lots of good advice already given, but I wondered if you have an company assistance programme in place that gives you access to legal advice and counselling?

Do you have witnesses as well that can add to your case?

I hope you feel better soon and that you get some kind of resolution.

Sarah

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By *ENGUY OP   Man
over a year ago

Hull

To everyone who has replied thus far, my very grateful Thanks.

To answer several questions, Yes, I do have legal cover through my Union. I've been with my company almost 4 yrs and have continuous service rights. There is no HR manager at our site so no one I can go to for impartial advice

I have taken some advice on board already and subject to certain legal terms, then can make the best decision.

Whatever direction I take, it will be scary to begin with, but it has to be better than what I'm going through right now.

Again, many thanks to those who have replied on here and who responded privately too.

I'll keep you posted.

G.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Moved within company 6 months ago but job expectations have not matched reality. It is tough, as only guy amongst 12 female colleagues.

"

Fuck that! Been there, had that pain!

Unless you are the type that can walk on egg shells for 50 hours a week then you are like a lamb to slaughter.

If I ever walked into an office and had that situation again, I'd just turn right around on day one and walk back out.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Read through this and feel for you, not an easy situation.... If you have some skills that are saleable consider going out on your own. Working for yourself is not for every one, all I can say is it worked out for me, although I was younger than you. Pressures are different but much more manageable, you are in control. What ever happens I wish you a good future......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is short and time is precious. I'd like to think I would look for another job where I earnt enough and was happier rather than give them the satisfaction of being down. It's very sad and depression is very serious but there will be positive things in your life so focus on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, I can talk from a position of experience, and with a Brother who has been an extremely succesful Employment Lawyer.

I believe an extremely pertinent point to make is don't allow yourself to be bullied by your employer.

You stated previously that you would not be optimisitec of a positive outcome in any tribunal because they have very good Lawyers. My response to this is don't be intimidated. By far, the majority of tribunal appeals fail (before they get to Court) because the 'employee' believes the 'employer' must be right and can't be succesfully challenged. In practice, this is total rubbish and, if you can muster the courage to persevere to the Tribunal hearing, your chances of success are, actually, extremely high.

It looks, to me, as though any chance of a reconciliation with your employer is gone, so give thought to what you stand to lose by challenging them and, at the very least, you will retain your self respect, which might not sound much but I can assure you, it will mean a lot in the times when you are looking back on this.

Damn right!!!!!!!!

My situation became frankly ridiculous.

Bearing in mind the tribunal placed the NDA and heavily criticised the companies procedures.

A couple of years later, during an inter_iew, the subject of my IT case came up.

I asked how they new, turns out they had checked my references and the company had written back telling my prospective employer all about it. The guy inter_iewing me said he felt they had overstepped the mark, so I cheekily asked for a copy of the letter, which duly arrived.

I went back to the tribunal and presented the letter.

A further settlement duly arrived.

Industrial Tribunals take this kind of shit very seriously and frequently find in favour of the small guy......

This

When i had my tribunal the judge basically told the companies legal to shut up and speak when spoken to because he kept interrupting.Theyre very much on the side of the little guy doesnt matter how big the company is or how good the legal team is. Tribunals are there to protect tge little guy and stop you from being abused by the company."

. Absolutely, they are professionals, totally competent; knowledgeable and unbiased. They will unpick the details and will not tolerate any form of cover up or bullying you. They will go to some lengths to ensure they are well informed, bare in mind they have seen it all before and the length companies will go to who think they have the upper hand.

You did say your company would see an end to your place within a couple of months, go on the sick or at least look into how your situation with rights would change if you did that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember you moving OP. Sorry it didn't work out.

No advice to add, just want to say good luck and I hope you find a happy solution. xx

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By *anderer8707Man
over a year ago

Telford

Hi OP - Any update? Would be great to hear how things are progressing.

As you will have seen, there are plenty of people out there who care, even if they don't know you personally.

OK if you choose not to keep a running commentary on here, in which case, good luck and hope it works out positively for you in the end.

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