FabSwingers.com forum: The psychology behind sexual desires...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone else considered the deeper meanings behind what makes them tick sexually?

A non-Fab lover was asking me why I like being a little submissive in the bedroom, whether it was the idea of giving up control or something else...

I said something else. It makes me tick due to the fact that whether I'm tied up, blindfolded, whatever, I still have the power, yet I trust who I'm with enough to hand that power over to them. For me it comes from being a bit of a control freak over my own behaviour and plans in real life, but in the bedroom I can pass the control over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is me too a tee too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is me too a tee too

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you manage to still feel you have the power if your tied up ?

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By *riangle12Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

We are getting more into the cuckold thing and I've spent a fair bit of time getting my head around why I get turned on by My girlfriend fucking other guys especially guys with bigger cocks! It turns me on and doesn't make me jealous.... I guess I'm not jealous as I trust her but why it turns me on... answers on a postcard?!

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

The power there is giving it to someone else and be able to take it back whenever they want.

So inadvertently its power over the person you gave the power too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you manage to still feel you have the power if your tied up ?"

Because if I'm being submissive, who I'm with will know what I will or won't do while I'm tied up, or blindfolded or whatever, and I have the power in the way that I know they won't do anything that I won't enjoy or want them to do, so I still have power & say over the boundaries of what we will or will not do - google soft & hard limit lists.

Added to that, of course I have the power - I've let them tie me up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more leaned toward the dominant side if I'm honest. I tend to be the one doing the tying up. Not sure what that says about me....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most people wouldn't like the psychology behind it. Some things are better enjoyed than understood. Also the reasons two people enjoy the same act are not going to be the same, unless the share the same sort of character structure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would probably say that its our learning history that determines the psychology behind our sexual desires ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think about it all the time. And also other peoples kinks as a representative of their own personal journey. Life's rich tapestry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The psycology behind my sexual desires comes from watching porn from a very very early age, i guess since then iv done so much masterbating and having sex its became an autopilot type action and response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am just a filthy bastard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am just a filthy bastard

I'd have never had guessed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wheres everyone elses come from ?

Just sexually bored ?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I used to analyse why I liked certain things sexually but I am pretty self-aware and realised I was denying myself things I actually wanted as a result, purely due to societal conditioning reasons. And they weren't good enough reasons not to be kinky on occasion when the dynamic is right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to analyse why I liked certain things sexually but I am pretty self-aware and realised I was denying myself things I actually wanted as a result, purely due to societal conditioning reasons. And they weren't good enough reasons not to be kinky on occasion when the dynamic is right."

i guess i have tried anolising why i like srx as mich and as often as i do and all i come up with is women

I love women

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"I think most people wouldn't like the psychology behind it. Some things are better enjoyed than understood. Also the reasons two people enjoy the same act are not going to be the same, unless the share the same sort of character structure. "

This is prob the wisest response I've ever seen on this site.

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Absolutely. Social conditioning and childhood experience are something I'm fighting with at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is prob the wisest response I've ever seen on this site."

i disagree as i like to understand things in order to better myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy."

i guess im just a bit different and like engaging my brain into the things i like and the desires i have 20%

80%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy.

i guess im just a bit different and like engaging my brain into the things i like and the desires i have 20%

80%

Yeah but to what end?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy.

i guess im just a bit different and like engaging my brain into the things i like and the desires i have 20%

80%

Yeah but to what end?"

I love women and that will never end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess for to have self control a person must first understand ?

Loising self control is why certain blokes feel the need to become insultive when theyre blown out by a woman, hormones take over and cloud judgement and actions, because they dont understand and they dont understand because they aint put much thought into there sexual desires ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I'm more leaned toward the dominant side if I'm honest. I tend to be the one doing the tying up. Not sure what that says about me.... "

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex."

Im very intrigued about going to a club

probably for this reason aswell as other reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more leaned toward the dominant side if I'm honest. I tend to be the one doing the tying up. Not sure what that says about me....

Same here

I enjoy being tied up and blindfolded

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"How do you manage to still feel you have the power if your tied up ?"

Because, as any fule kno, sub/dom, it's all about the sub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly believe have many psicologic issues related with some stuff I read in here! I am open mind and sometimes I get the shock of my life! Guys get the hard on,with crazy stuff! Some people are just kinky and enjoy sex ,bandage etc! But some are fucked up on their head! Thanks God they express their thought,as I keep them far way from me!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you manage to still feel you have the power if your tied up ?

Because, as any fule kno, sub/dom, it's all about the sub"

"Fule kno"

Doing your yoot talk again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex."

Freedom to do whatever you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As Freud would say, it starts off in childhood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex.

Freedom to do whatever you want."

Swimming naked I get excited about funnily enough!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's very interesting overall but I'm not driven to just understand myself.

What happens psychologically or otherwise that we can find 'less' appealing people attractive as we get older, for example, is something I wonder about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be more concerned if I were denying myself the opportunity to explore my sexual likes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you manage to still feel you have the power if your tied up ?

Because, as any fule kno, sub/dom, it's all about the sub"

Oh haha, I thought sex was a 2 way street ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex.

Freedom to do whatever you want.

Swimming naked I get excited about funnily enough! "

Love doing that at Kestrels!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As Freud would say, it starts off in childhood."

That would be a persons learning history

It's the person that determines there character

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've developed a keen interest in clubs.

Exhibitionism is why I think I go as I get to walk around half naked, that's very freeing and of course to have sex.

Freedom to do whatever you want.

Swimming naked I get excited about funnily enough!

Love doing that at Kestrels!"

Same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy.

i guess im just a bit different and like engaging my brain into the things i like and the desires i have 20%

80%

If you want to engage your brain the read up on developmental psychology. As I said, I don't think you'll like the answers you find, especially given your current thinking on the matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As Freud would say, it starts off in childhood."

Yup.

My oral fixation has something to do with Freud psychology i reckon. Obsessed with suckling on breasts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh...i don't really care. I like what i like and it's of no consequence as to why. I'm not one for picking apart everything i do and overanalyzing. Life is far too short. I'd rather just enjoy.

i guess im just a bit different and like engaging my brain into the things i like and the desires i have 20%

80%

If you want to engage your brain the read up on developmental psychology. As I said, I don't think you'll like the answers you find, especially given your current thinking on the matter. "

Not long done a course around it and found it all rather intriguing and interesting, I did like the answers

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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago

North West

I often wonder this. I like to hand over control and trust when it comes to sex because I find it so hard to do in say to day life. I liken it ton high powered businessmen that like being treated like babies.

The fact I love pain and it takes a lot of pain to break me down undoubtedly comes from my upbringing. Hate to say it but it wasn't a happy one. Not sure if I need the pain to give it and edge so I can truly let go.

I'd be interested and a teeny bit worried about looking into the theory.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

As Freud would say, it starts off in childhood."

Yep. He got a lot wrong (especially with regards to female sexuality) but he was right about most fetishes.

I love learning about the physchology and sociology behind sex. It's so complex and varied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite narcissistic and I get off on giving pleasure and both knowing and seeing that I am doing so and being told "that was great"etc. I'm also a show off and perfomer, so in clubs I would prefer to be in the voyeur room being watched. I also had PE issues during a period where my self confidence took a battering. I'm now very much about ensuring that a partner is completely fulfilled before any penetrative sex takes place (this does prove problematic, when it's penetrative sex that gets that person off)!

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I started self analysing no own sexuality straight after my first time in bed with a girl .

You see I knew I was different because things didn’t happen like I was told they would .six sexual encounters later with the girl I truly knew I was totally different from all my friends and from anyone I knew.

At that point the awkward questions and teasing started this made me start self analysing and become a bit introvert and very very hard to get into bed a rarity in a teenage boy .

This was before the internet I didn’t really have a clue as to why I was different or really what I liked or needed sexually to find fulfilment .

So my odyssey with my own sexuality started with my first sexual experience .

years late I now know what works for me on the most part plus what I enjoy in a partner .

I'm best suited to a controlling teasing dynamic I don’t have any fear of my own sexuality or the any fear of others sexuality . I prefer the adventuress type who is looking to be pushed seduced and lead into exploring their own sexuality and fantasies .

I'm articulate not afraid of expressing my desire I like articulate play partners able to talk freely like I can . express what they like willing to try mew things experience there fantasies .

on my journey I've done lots enough to know what I really like and because of how much fun I had exploring my own sexuality.

I feel I make a good guardian for someone on there own personal journey of discovery as well as a experienced play partner for someone who knows what they like .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I started self analysing no own sexuality straight after my first time in bed with a girl .

At that point the awkward questions and teasing started this made me start self analysing and become a bit introvert and very very hard to get into bed a rarity in a teenage boy .

This was before the internet I didn’t really have a clue as to why I was different or really what I liked or needed sexually to find fulfilment .

So my odyssey with my own sexuality started with my first sexual experience .

years late I now know what works for me on the most part plus what I enjoy in a partner .

I'm articulate not afraid of expressing my desire I like articulate play partners able to talk freely like I can . express what they like willing to try mew things experience there fantasies .

on my journey I've done lots enough to know what I really like and because of how much fun I had exploring my own sexuality.

I feel I make a good guardian for someone on there own personal journey of discovery as well as a experienced play partner for someone who knows what they like ."

I feel I make a terrific cup of tea, but not everyone is going to drink the fuker