FabSwingers.com forum: No kinks in my Amour

By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Looking around the forum - I was wondering what you lot would define as kinky.

Lets be honest - some people would consider what I'm typing as a definite yes - while others need a bit of colorful rubber to put it on the scale.

A visit to a swingers club with a dungeon? Personally that's just me expanding my boundaries - while to some its the ultimate kink.

To be clear - I'm not talking about fetishes (which are easier to define) but rather a sliding scale of kinky...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was having a conversation with a friend about this the other day. We're both in the swinging lifestyle and we were struggling to think of what we found actually kinky.

I think that when you got to clubs and get involved in moresomes etc. your parameters change somewhat.

I've done things that vanilla people would find kinky but to me seemed reasonbly normal at the time.

Maybe ropework and the fet side of things but even that doesn't seem kinky just enjoyable though.

Hmmm tricky one.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I do love the term "vanilla" - changes somewhat if you imagine what you could do with an ice cream cone, a 99 flake and some of that red syrup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking around the forum - I was wondering what you lot would define as kinky.

Lets be honest - some people would consider what I'm typing as a definite yes - while others need a bit of colorful rubber to put it on the scale.

A visit to a swingers club with a dungeon? Personally that's just me expanding my boundaries - while to some its the ultimate kink.

To be clear - I'm not talking about fetishes (which are easier to define) but rather a sliding scale of kinky...

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?"

I don't know, what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

I don't know, what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?"

sounds like the first line from a really bad joke

A fetish is sexual arousal from something normally not considered sexual

e.g. if you got really turned on by pencils.

kinky is more of a twist away from the standard - and for a better answer - we need more replies to this original question

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

There's very little I would see as kinky as alternative is normal for me. That said maybe straight sex with the lights out would be kinky.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I might have got the wrong end of the stick. But the other day you were a wide eyed newbie asking for help.

I wouldn't say a club dungeon is just expanding your boundaries a little. You need to visit a club first.

Step by step. Not a fet guru yet....

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

" That said maybe straight sex with the lights out would be kinky. "

I like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

I don't know, what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?

sounds like the first line from a really bad joke

A fetish is sexual arousal from something normally not considered sexual

e.g. if you got really turned on by pencils.

kinky is more of a twist away from the standard - and for a better answer - we need more replies to this original question

So if I had a fetish for ladies dressed in PVC or for being spanked, that would not be a kink?

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I might have got the wrong end of the stick. But the other day you were a wide eyed newbie asking for help.

I wouldn't say a club dungeon is just expanding your boundaries a little. You need to visit a club first.

Step by step. Not a fet guru yet...."

still wide eyed newbie - but I'm a 44yr old wide eyed newbie - (who is doing his damnedest to get into that club tomorrow)

Doesn't stop me asking questions tho (especially overly complex ones

)

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"So if I had a fetish for ladies dressed in PVC or for being spanked, that would not be a kink?"

That's where life (and definitions) gets complicated

A woman dressed in very tight and revealing clothing would be considered a normal sexual arousal - an insistence on it being PVC would put it closer to a fetish.

And two people naked touching each other (maybe even a little rough) would be normal - Dom/Sub behavior with a necessity for pain...

never said it was an easy question

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Ok, I just meant take the first steps first.

There is a a background to what I say. Often some people in private messages or forums try to turn conversations quickly to details of play, kinks etc. These people can set alarm bells ringing.

Obviously it's a free forum, and you can say and ask what you choose. But it might be perceived differently to your intention.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Ok, I just meant take the first steps first.

There is a a background to what I say. Often some people in private messages or forums try to turn conversations quickly to details of play, kinks etc. These people can set alarm bells ringing.

Obviously it's a free forum, and you can say and ask what you choose. But it might be perceived differently to your intention. "

don't worry - I'm vanilla with a hint of strawberry

I was actually trying to keep the chat away from fetishes - was looking more on perception on personal behavior and how we believe it fits itself into the outside social environment.

IE - where do we all see ourselves in the grand social scheme of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if I had a fetish for ladies dressed in PVC or for being spanked, that would not be a kink?

That's where life (and definitions) gets complicated

A woman dressed in very tight and revealing clothing would be considered a normal sexual arousal - an insistence on it being PVC would put it closer to a fetish.

And two people naked touching each other (maybe even a little rough) would be normal - Dom/Sub behavior with a necessity for pain...

never said it was an easy question

If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will find that the dictionary definition of fetish went out the window a long time ago and the meaning of kink and fetish are blurred. The only definition of kink or fetish that works for me (and which has a massive presupposition and there are holes in the definition) is 'it is anything which is not vanilla'. Antichrist's definition of fetish wear is what you would not wear to the pub. So sexually would it be something that you would openly discuss in the pub and not get strange looks.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary. "

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I think you will find that the dictionary definition of fetish went out the window a long time ago and the meaning of kink and fetish are blurred. The only definition of kink or fetish that works for me (and which has a massive presupposition and there are holes in the definition) is 'it is anything which is not vanilla'. Antichrist's definition of fetish wear is what you would not wear to the pub. So sexually would it be something that you would openly discuss in the pub and not get strange looks."

can I assume antichrist is not a religious cult but rather something linked to fetish wear?

I like the idea of the reverse definition:-

not vanilla

not wear to the pub

you class it by filtering out all the classes it doesn't fit into - and hope there are a few left.

the fewer there are left - the higher it goes on the scale

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"There is a a background to what I say. Often some people in private messages or forums try to turn conversations quickly to details of play, kinks etc. These people can set alarm bells ringing.

no shit - I just saw a page on "pee hole sex" that scared the living daylights out of me.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

I don't know, what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?"

A kink sits on a frone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different."

Fact - a thing that is known or proved to be true.

True - in accordance with fact or reality.

Reality - is that which, if you stop believing in it, does not go away - Philip K. Dick

But what if it did?

What if you saw the outside of the box for the very first time and realised that all the rules set in stone were basically just :-

a) advice based on opinion on how to live your life

b) ways for power hungry idiots (past and present) to create an aura of control

just a thought...

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?

I don't know, what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?

A kink sits on a frone?"

and a quen sits on a kink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different.

Fact - a thing that is known or proved to be true.

True - in accordance with fact or reality.

Reality - is that which, if you stop believing in it, does not go away - Philip K. Dick

But what if it did?

What if you saw the outside of the box for the very first time and realised that all the rules set in stone were basically just :-

a) advice based on opinion on how to live your life

b) ways for power hungry idiots (past and present) to create an aura of control

just a thought...

And myth?

Have you been partaking of something?

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different.

Fact - a thing that is known or proved to be true.

True - in accordance with fact or reality.

Reality - is that which, if you stop believing in it, does not go away - Philip K. Dick

But what if it did?

What if you saw the outside of the box for the very first time and realised that all the rules set in stone were basically just :-

a) advice based on opinion on how to live your life

b) ways for power hungry idiots (past and present) to create an aura of control

just a thought...

And myth?

Have you been partaking of something?"

not exactly - my brain just runs like this

(and your the one who noticed I missed myth

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different.

Fact - a thing that is known or proved to be true.

True - in accordance with fact or reality.

Reality - is that which, if you stop believing in it, does not go away - Philip K. Dick

But what if it did?

What if you saw the outside of the box for the very first time and realised that all the rules set in stone were basically just :-

a) advice based on opinion on how to live your life

b) ways for power hungry idiots (past and present) to create an aura of control

just a thought...

And myth?

Have you been partaking of something?

not exactly - my brain just runs like this

(and your the one who noticed I missed myth

So tell me why myth is fact.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

note to self - probably not doing wonders for my "He's a sane guy" profile.

But seriously - couldn't resist.

maybe its my fetish - puts a smile of my face when I ask the big questions - and not the same ones that have been scrolling around for centuries.

anyway - I was trying to get away from fetishes (and dictionary definitions)

so...

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If you are interested in definitions, look them up in the Cambridge dictionary.

well that's the thing - people forget that "facts" are a myth.

All we really have is information that has been repeatedly validated to the point where we cannot see an alternative.

problem is - people then give up on even looking for the alternative and stop asking questions.

not my style

Then I really recommend that you look up the definitions of "fact" and "myth."

No matter how words and their definitions may change over time, those two are still very different.

Fact - a thing that is known or proved to be true.

True - in accordance with fact or reality.

Reality - is that which, if you stop believing in it, does not go away - Philip K. Dick

But what if it did?

What if you saw the outside of the box for the very first time and realised that all the rules set in stone were basically just :-

a) advice based on opinion on how to live your life

b) ways for power hungry idiots (past and present) to create an aura of control

just a thought...

And myth?

Have you been partaking of something?

not exactly - my brain just runs like this

(and your the one who noticed I missed myth

)

So tell me why myth is fact."

facts are a myth

only a programmer would then think this means

myth == fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"note to self - probably not doing wonders for my "He's a sane guy" profile.

But seriously - couldn't resist.

maybe its my fetish - puts a smile of my face when I ask the big questions - and not the same ones that have been scrolling around for centuries.

anyway - I was trying to get away from fetishes (and dictionary definitions)

so..."

The pants never led me to the conclusion that you were sane.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"note to self - probably not doing wonders for my "He's a sane guy" profile.

But seriously - couldn't resist.

maybe its my fetish - puts a smile of my face when I ask the big questions - and not the same ones that have been scrolling around for centuries.

anyway - I was trying to get away from fetishes (and dictionary definitions)

so...

The pants never led me to the conclusion that you were sane.

Those pants are becoming a Legend - and I'm sticking close for a bit of fame by proxy.

maybe shouldn't use "pants" and "sticking close" in the same sentence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"note to self - probably not doing wonders for my "He's a sane guy" profile.

But seriously - couldn't resist.

maybe its my fetish - puts a smile of my face when I ask the big questions - and not the same ones that have been scrolling around for centuries.

anyway - I was trying to get away from fetishes (and dictionary definitions)

so...

The pants never led me to the conclusion that you were sane.

Those pants are becoming a Legend - and I'm sticking close for a bit of fame by proxy.

maybe shouldn't use "pants" and "sticking close" in the same sentence.

Or use them at all?

There are legends and then there are legends ...

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

ohh - I just drooled

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

ohh - I just drooled

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

By that...

Fetish = Tab A into Slot B x X (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body, C = outwardly random object or material)

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

By that...

Fetish = Tab A into Slot B x X (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body, C = outwardly random object or material)

Fetish = TIR (Tab A or Slot B) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only..i think you'll find

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

By that...

Fetish = Tab A into Slot B x X (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body, C = outwardly random object or material)

Fetish = TIR (Tab A or Slot B) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only..i think you'll find

point taken

but...

Fetish = TIR (F) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only.

F = optional (Tab A or Slot B)

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

By that...

Fetish = Tab A into Slot B x X (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body, C = outwardly random object or material)

Fetish = TIR (Tab A or Slot B) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only..i think you'll find

point taken

but...

Fetish = TIR (F) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only.

F = optional (Tab A or Slot B)

would the fetish exist if it wasnt observed though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like what I like. Some people may say I'm sick,twisted,kinky or have a fetish. I don't care what they want to call it,I'm having a ball.

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"vanilla = Tab A into Slot B

swinger = Tab A into Slot B x X +/- square root of Y ( y = slot B/ Slot B participants)

Kink = Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body)

My Kink= Tab A into Slot B x X = +/- Z (square root of Y) - C( control ) + T (trust) + VI ( vivid imagination of Tab A) +/- P (matter formed into props) + S ( service attitude)

By that...

Fetish = Tab A into Slot B x X (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ seratonin to rise in the body, C = outwardly random object or material)

Fetish = TIR (Tab A or Slot B) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only..i think you'll find

point taken

but...

Fetish = TIR (F) (Log C)= +/- Z (z=activity which causes dopamine/ serotonin to rise in the body,

where

C = outwardly random object or material)

TIR = Total internal reflection/reaction

only.

F = optional (Tab A or Slot B)

would the fetish exist if it wasnt observed though?"

(Munchausen by Proxy) by proxy

makes catch 22 look simple

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By *ason_silver OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Suzy444

I'd like to invite you as a friend - this is the only way I can get past the filters

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