FabSwingers.com forum: FAB speak

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

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By *uddlybear2015Man
over a year ago

BEDFORD

"Straight" A term that is more flexible than an olympic gymnast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional (or proffesional as ive seen it spelt many times) = has a job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Averaged sized cock = its actually small but no lady has ever had the heart to say so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Daytime don't want the wife/husband to catch me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Averaged sized cock = its actually small but no lady has ever had the heart to say so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'not looking to shag the whole of Fab' = would shag anything at the first opportunity!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bbw-fat chicks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bbw-fat chicks"
Never met never will lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol

I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!

Pregnant? Unlikely. Menopausal more like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fuck and go= if you chat to me you would nt let me in your house

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Discrete - I haven't got the faintest idea what I mean

Discretion is the better part of valour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!

Pregnant? Unlikely. Menopausal more like.

I've met a few Menopausal Women in Club's over the Year's even Nature Won't stop them!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".

They think professional just means they do work they are paid for!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Open-minded : open to exactly what I want but a bigoted dick about everything else.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.

Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Attractive : my mum says so

Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Normal : probably not normal (whatever that is).

Normal : completely characterless and dull

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?"

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/16 04:29:01]

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie."

It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexy lady=if you tell me I'm sexy,I'll be very unladylike for you.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Athletic (on a male profile) :

95% of the time this means I play a bit of sport and am not completely unfit or even, I watch some sport on tv and am not overweight.

No, guys, it means you have an athletic build. Low body fat, muscles, y'know?

Being fit and strong do not an athletic build make.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.

It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

Maybe a few decades ago

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

Maybe a few decades ago

Only a few??? I thought you might have said a few centuries ago

But it did suit me though with my long locks and dashing good looks

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Dominate (used as an adjective or noun) : I am an idiot with a poor grasp of the English language.

Dominant : often means "I saw 50 Shades and want to be rough during sex and make my partners do what I want".

I love to lick pussy for hours : I have no idea what women want or how to please a woman sexually.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

Maybe a few decades ago

Only a few??? I thought you might have said a few centuries ago

But it did suit me though with my long locks and dashing good looks

I meant women wearing a bow thing, not you wearing a cravat

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I meant women wearing a bow thing, not you wearing a cravat

*stomps off into a huff, that's blatant sexism that is

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Only looking for quality not quantity

Means probably they have no chance of either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dominator - I'm bigger and bolder and rougher and tougher in other words sucker there is no other....

I'm the one n only dominator!...

I'm the one n only dominator!....

I wanna kiss myself!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Will try anything at least twice, to make sure i like it

Means

I've already done stuff you'd vomit about if known - I expect you to do everything I suggest more than twice too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.

It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth.

xxx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Here for the same reason as you

Means

It's highly improbable that you'll want me or share my desires

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Safe sex is always a necessity

Means

I assume you'll not bother to check if I yank the condom off - any fluids after will obviously just be lube

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Looking for likeminded people

Means

I couldn't find them in Broadmoor, so I'll give it a go on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.

Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Attractive : my mum says so

Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal "

Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Kissing is a must

Means

My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athletic-anything from scrawny to plump with a barrel belly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kissing is a must

Means

My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else "

And oi again

I demand kissing and I have a very healthy relationship with my toothbrush.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Their loss

Ordinarily means

You must make your misfortune my gain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".

They think professional just means they do work they are paid for!"

Professional does actually mean you get paid for doing a job of work.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Kissing is a must

Means

My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else

And oi again

I demand kissing and I have a very healthy relationship with my toothbrush."

Sorry nana xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have my own teeth and hair...bald as a badger and gummy

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".

They think professional just means they do work they are paid for!

Professional does actually mean you get paid for doing a job of work. "

Not in the sense of being a professional person it doesn't.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Athletic-anything from scrawny to plump with a barrel belly. "

Usually not moving from a sofa unless to grab more to chow on. Usually skipped PE classes at school and will be featured on a channel 5 show 'My sexless hell at 96 stone' once managed to fit into a football shirt, until the stitching gave out.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.

Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Attractive : my mum says so

Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal

Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down

Obviously there are a few exceptions that prove the rule

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Regularly checked for diseases

Means

My first wife divorced me after a nasty dose of syphilis and didn't believe I'd got it and crabs from a loo at work

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No bareback

Means

I can't afford child support but will do it if you're on the pill

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

New to the scene

Means

5th profile this week and won't meet at a club as I've been barred for groping without permission

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Like to have a laugh as well as good sex

Means

I've got used to people laughing at me when trying to perform sexually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.

Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.

Attractive : my mum says so

Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal

Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down

Obviously there are a few exceptions that prove the rule

I am extremely exceptional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kissing is a must

Means

My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else

And oi again

I demand kissing and I have a very healthy relationship with my toothbrush.

Sorry nana xx"

That's ok,give us a kiss

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.

It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth.

xxx"

Oooh suits you missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi-curious female - my partner wants to see me with a woman.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Bi-curious female - my partner wants to see me with a woman."

Probably so, but this isn't a "look at me" thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabulous body type.....dangerously overweight and ample isn't big enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only here for the forum - crazy hoarding cat lady. Thinks her opinion is always right because "Mr tibbles" never argues back.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm gorgeous and far superior to almost everyone else" has no shorthand I can think of, except maybe exceptional, so they use the forum to advertise it instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DESTROYING THE MALE FAB SYNDROME

***"I have Kik/Whstsapp"

E.g: My girlfriend caught me on FAB several times and trying to keep this one quiet.

***"I'm free now"

E.g: The missus has took the kids to her Mom's for a few hours but don't take too long deciding as she said she was texting me as soon as she hits McDonald's to see what I want bringing back"

***Single Male - "I will reply to every message"

E.g: I'll try and meet everyone but will get bored after I've finished this wank.

*** "My huge cock/BBC"

E.g: Used as a selling point by most who like to brag but haven't got a clue what to do with it / my gf-wife doesn't know what to do with it.

***thIs one has to be the highlight...

"All these men looking at me. I'm not gay, bi. I like pussy AND YOU AIN'T GONNA CHANGE THAT..."

E.g: I'll chase after a TV/TS WHEN I GET THE HORN and look at men's profiles and send winks to see if I can get a BJ at 2am because they're d*unk and must be game to sucking me off too. But I'm still straight if I don't advertise it BUT I'm still straight because I'll fuck a cock in a frock

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Traditional/old-fashioned (almost exclusively male profiles) :

set in my ways, inflexible in my thinking and attitudes, with the mindset of a misogynistic old fossil. Uncomfortable with any sort of progressive thinking and I often become angry and defensive when faced with it.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I can't reply to all my messages :

setting my filters might help but I like the attention.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues."

That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Polite, respectful : as long as I get what I want.

Manners cost nothing : I expect you to do what suits me, regardless of whether it suits you, and I'll bitch and whine about you being rude if you don't.

Discreet and discretion mentioned more than twice : married and cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!

Or oops, husband lost his job so he's home all day

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.

That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now

He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"I will update this later"

One year on and the tumble keeps blowing past their empty profile.......

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Alpha Male

Ive never had anyone listen to me or look up to me EVER so I'll start by telling folk just how ALPHA I am right here behind this keyboard.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet

Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!

Or oops, husband lost his job so he's home all day

Or having health issues or lost mojo issues.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Don't Check Winks

Reapetedly checking who has winked at me to make myself feel great but scared to send first message, please send....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gym fit - my reflection is my best friend. All my conversations revolve around how much I can bench, and my farts stink as i eat half my body weight in eggs everyday day. I don't understand why I'm still single...

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.

That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now

He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues

I think Scarlet has probably pushed him over the edge

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

NSA

I like to think I'm hassle free but will continue to harass you for weeks if not months after a meet.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Can make any woman squirt :

will frantically, very roughly poke and jab at them with my fingers until they damned well do, then congratulate myself on giving them such immense pleasure and for being such a sexual superstar.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Profile Not Available

This Member Has Hidden Their Profile

Likes to Perv and generally be nosey but said something I regret in the forums

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't bite, unless you ask me nicely : I want to appear witty but couldn't think of anything original and funny to say.

Ditto I can breathe through my ears.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I can't show photos because of my job : I bear a strong resemblance to Jabba the Hut's less attractive sibling.

I will only send photos via Whatsapp/kik/email : I'm desperate for another method of contact I can pester you on. I hope I'll have more of your attention if I can get you away from fabs.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm a doctor/solicitor/soldier/firefighter : I'm not but I hope you'll be impressed and shag me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only here for the forum - crazy hoarding cat lady. Thinks her opinion is always right because "Mr tibbles" never argues back. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything you want to know just ask -I think I'm too good for this

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't want to play message ping pong or endless chat :

My cock is hard now damnit! I want a fuck right now! I don't want to talk to you because I'm not interested in anything about you except whether you'll fuck me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabulous....anything from size 10 upwards depending on how insecure I feel about wobbly bits or how much wine I have imbibed in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/16 07:38:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not looking to meet at all - won't hide their profile because they secretly like the attention and measages they get from people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work away/abroad quite a lot" = I'm married/attached and I use this as an excuse. I also have guilt issues so this gives me an excuse to fuck and disappear until I feel horny again!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athletic/gym fit - body fat % 20+ but if stood under the right light it looks like I have a physique

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Athletic/gym fit - body fat % 20+ but if stood under the right light it looks like I have a physique "

Just musing, I wonder if the right light would help me.

Perhaps the complete absence of it

Ejay, you're a genius.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Not a hardened swinger -

We've been around every block going, pounced on new club attendees and have a little reputation, so to speak. Ran our own swinging club and absconded to the Costas with the dosh. Never a good word to say about anywhere on the scene. Have multiple single and couple's profiles using photos from the 1950s onwards.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Looking for female to go to club with - can drive you there

Partner watches what's spent. Will jump you on the way back.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Want to try pegging

Hopes you won't be as demanding as the blokes who've shagged him. Wants to lie down, doing nothing, whilst you make the effort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol

"
Aimed at the gent if that's his thoughts he wont get many meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/16 08:04:59]

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol

Aimed at the gent if that's his thoughts he wont get many meets

Ahhhh I see.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Want to try pegging

Hopes you won't be as demanding as the blokes who've shagged him. Wants to lie down, doing nothing, whilst you make the effort."

Same as wanting to sub or looking for a woman who likes to take control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone physique is described as fabulous what does that mean exactly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Expert at oral=I ll lick for ages because I have erection issues

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

"When someone physique is described as fabulous what does that mean exactly?"

Anything they want it to be

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Will always be there on time - endless excuses as to running 5, 10, 30 mins late.

Wont mess you about - got your ticket? Here comes the fun fair ride of your life!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I don't want anyone that's shagged the whole site - I won't date a promiscuous woman as she's nowt but a slag, one will do for a fuck on a site full of them while I'm single though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cannot travel, cannot accomodate:

Is it OK if my mum drops me off? but I have to be back by 10 or will you lend me taxi fare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to wine and dine a lady"- I will take you to maccies drive through before we shag in my car

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"When someone physique is described as fabulous what does that mean exactly?

Anything they want it to be

Well that obviously wasn't the right answer as gone UNLOS lol

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

""I want to wine and dine a lady"- I will take you to maccies drive through before we shag in my car"

Saxo or Corsa madam?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Cani buy you a present I want nothing in returni just like to treat women - I do actually want you to shag me in return and this way I know you'll feel more politely obligated to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like and expect the finer things...

I'm not a prostitute but you have to buy me a horse before I will blow you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for likeminded people

Means

I couldn't find them in Broadmoor, so I'll give it a go on fab"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues."

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Just out of a long relationship and wanting to exercise my freedom.

Means

Just out of a long relationship and wanting another long relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol

Aimed at the gent if that's his thoughts he wont get many meets

Ahhhh I see."

Yeah on a jokey thread mine is the only one taken seriously. Awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.

That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now

He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues

Lol to close to the mark was I ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Priceless= worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Special= the wrong kind of special!

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

Don't have one to contribute but I'm suddenly quite paranoid about my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likes to lick pussy for hours= I have no idea what I am doing but if I do it for long enough you will beg to stop because you just can't take any more. Or fall asleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can go for hours:

I have one speed/technique that I can control. I don't care if it does anything for you or not...you will applaud my stamina and effort. I may have gone number by the end and it will be your fault if I don't cum.

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By *ustfortonightMan
over a year ago

Kent

Please help with my profile = I know full well no one likes endless cock pics, and that the few lines I've written are barely punctuated and incomprehensible. But I wanted to get my views up and I'm desperately hoping a forum reader who looks will take an interest and want to fuck me.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.

That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now

He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues

Lol to close to the mark was I ?!

Well you should know yourself better than anyone else

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

To prove you read this type "TWAT" in the message heading

Notice we put that in BLOCK CAPITALS and in the last sentence so its easy for you to find because we dont really give a fuck if you read it or not but this makes us come across as if we do.

We like to think you actaully invested time into researching us and read the bollocks ive written on my 3 page profile, but really we know you couldnt give a shit about us either, instead you just looked for the word that we made you aware of in the first sentence.

In all honesty we hope you found the word straight away and just sent the 3 word message youve cut and pasted for us without wasting anyones time.

This way we can check your profile out and decide if things will move on or we delete and block you.

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

Wacky zany crazy. Bellend

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

Even the women?

Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know

I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.

It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway

I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth.

xxx"

I could possibly put that to good use right now

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's never about my needs, only the gorgus (or other atrocious half-witted spelling mistake) ladies I'm pleasuring

It is only about me, end of. I will use any superlative I can string you along with to get inside your orifices. There's no hint of any pleasure for you, so forget that.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Never know what to say in these things about myself.

Means - anything I've tried saying has repulsed others. Really there is nowt to help you even notice me. Also, darent say much in case my partner recognises it's me.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Single parent

Means expect my kids - which I may not even have - to be used as reason for standing you up, whilst my partner has changed their plans or come home early.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Always smell good

Is a pig farmer covered in shit so will spray with knock off febreeze.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good sense of humour :

Likes to be offensive as possible in taking the piss out of others BUT can't take a joke themselves.

Goes with the flow: OK going with the flow as long as the flow is going their way and they're always in charge.

Don't take myself too seriously: I have no respect for other's wishes/preferences.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Down to earth, what you see is what you get

On day release - you'd be very scared if you knew the full truth

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Honest, no bs, no drama - let the fun begin

I'll decide what is honest and disclosed. Endless hassle if you reject me, especially if I know your home location. Give me the fun I expect now.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Meet now!

The cleaner version of Fancy a Fuck. Sometimes sent whilst Mrs is sleeping, at mothers or work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What on earth do ppl mean by Professional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What on earth do ppl mean by Professional "

Pet hate this one, professional to me means you've studied for your career choice... So lawyer, accountant, doctor etc... It does not mean you're a store manager for dunhelm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did get qualified to do wot i do but not from uni

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By *ali 69Man
over a year ago

jersey

"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-

Professional - I wear a tie to go to work

"
So did Yogi bear .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anything you want to know, just ask" - I am so completely unremarkable that I can't think of anything vaguely interesting to write here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SYDNEY UNIVERSITY...." - I think my distinctly standard genitalia is the best you've ever seen and assume everyone wants to either be me or fuck me.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Not bi but will share the same room as your fella, if he has to be there, and any touching is accidental, if we DP you

Hopes the partner isn't the bloke he tried to pick up in the local toilets, whilst he sniffed and wanked some underwear. Would prefer to get fucked in the arse but is driven to proclaim aggressive straight proclivity

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Anyone to kik?

Is bored of porn and wants to wank.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Distinctly out of focus, dark, distorted or cropped body photos - even though the same phone camera took crisp, clear and bright pics of his cock. Often used with grimacing stern face pic that's hard to tell from a goat

Isn't classically handsome, doesn't want recognisable photos around that wife could discover or has several profiles and hopes fab admin don't cotton on. May add a photo of a male fitter celebrity or pork star, taken professionally, to kid you that he's not an out of shape sack of shpototatoes.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Has no one got manners anymore?

Not especially mature or able to fend for themselves in this world. Sends cock pics and blunt Fuck me Now messages and fragile ego is struggling with rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all you gym snobs, having a six pack doesn't make you athletic either..... I primarily strength train and do lots of cardio. Does that make me less of a mortal?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

'I have no problems picking up and dating wherever I go - can't understand what's wrong with you all'

Gets shunned by most of society - does lunge at women publically, interrupting their nights out. Has wanked but sexual history is a blur

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Well versed in swinging eticket

Wanked watching a channel 5 swinging documentary and still expects sex to be about women to focus on his pleasure. Will send garbled messages

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By *im le2Man
over a year ago

AYLESTONE

Men who say they want to meet couples, men , woman, ect then you read description and they say there straight.

No such thing as a straight man on a site like this .

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By *im le2Man
over a year ago

AYLESTONE

Not all men lie on there profile.

I'm 61yo , chubby , average cock , bald ,

If you don't believe me look at my full body shots .

And yes I'm photo verified.

I want to meet men for sex . I work nights so can only meet daytimes.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Not all men lie on there profile.

I'm 61yo , chubby , average cock , bald ,

If you don't believe me look at my full body shots .

And yes I'm photo verified.

I want to meet men for sex . I work nights so can only meet daytimes. "

I think you misunderstood the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sophieslut, your posts are hilarious, thanks for posting

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sophieslut, your posts are hilarious, thanks for posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thinking of deleting this" - someone offer me sex immediately before I chuck my toys out the pram. I have no info on my profile but 4 cock pics, what more do you sluts want?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Thinking of deleting this" - someone offer me sex immediately before I chuck my toys out the pram. I have no info on my profile but 4 cock pics, what more do you sluts want?"

"Thinking of deleting this"

Sick and tired of 'average' males who do not measure up to my impossible standards messaging me, despite my 3 pages of demands hoping I will show them more than half my nipple as I know I don't really want to meet, i just want male supermodel pornstars fawning over me and feeding me jaffa cakes to feed my shit personality traits and neuroses.

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By *eliaknightCouple
over a year ago

St Austell

Just looking - means I want to perv at your pics, get you on kik WhatsApp and swap pics and videos as I don't have the balls to meet and am all talk

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By *ali 69Man
over a year ago

jersey

“ Curvy “= a humungus gut so big that the last time she saw her vagina was in an angled Clarke’s shoe mirror . “ real men “ any man who will not accept the monster gut .... whilst he is expected to be a chipoendale .

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Polite and respectful- unless you don’t want to shag me then I’m the biggest wanker you’re ever likely to come across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“ Curvy “= a humungus gut so big that the last time she saw her vagina was in an angled Clarke’s shoe mirror . “ real men “ any man who will not accept the monster gut .... whilst he is expected to be a chipoendale . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well versed in swinging eticket

Wanked watching a channel 5 swinging documentary and still expects sex to be about women to focus on his pleasure. Will send garbled messages"

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