FabSwingers.com forum: The misunderstood sexual practices game

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

New game!

Take a sexual fetish, and completely misinterpret its meaning based upon it's name, for example:

Bondage: Referring to Sean Connery, who's 84.

Roll Play: The art of deriving sexual satisfaction from small bakery products.

Go!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Water sports skiing while naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FAB Swingers...something to do with Thunderbirds, right?

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

S&M getting kinky in Marks and Sparks but only in front of mirrors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FAB Swingers...something to do with Thunderbirds, right?"

S&M going into a popular department store in reverse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pegging, hanging out the laundry.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Wax play......making your own candles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rimming: putting fancy wheel trims on cars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cross Dressing - angrily adorning oneself with various gatments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Garments^^

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Blow job, what you get at the hairdressers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anal.........text speak for a couple called Anne and Alan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ass to mouth: Eating a donkey

Age Gap: A brand of jeans intended for the elderly

Rectal Prolapse: Something a guy called Albert does when he's fallen into complete disrepair, running repeatedly round a race track whilst being paid for it.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Tv admirer, a regular visitor to Curry's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sugar Daddy: Sir Alans father

Sugar Mummy: What sir Alan becomes after he's died and been embalmed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea bagging ,, that second and last squeeze of the leaf filled sack to extract maximum strength

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Exhibitionism - being turned on by setting up booths, bunting, leaflets, handing out free biros and the wearing of lanyards.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cottaging: Place hot mashed potatoes onto your gravy and mince

Gang Bang: When you leave a lit match too close to a box of fireworks

Homosexuality: Erotic feelings toward the bartender from Simpsons when he's ing his garden.

Submission: A task assigned to an underwater vessel

Dominant: What Dominos changes it's name to after monopolising the pizza market.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am absolutely loving this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Docking: having sex with the iPhone on a speaker stand.

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Queening - raising a flag of the queen and saluting, with special commemorations to celebrate each year by exploring one's bucket list.

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By *kem manMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

Gang banger American gang ¿?

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Rope play - the various arts of skipping, figure 8's and all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CBT cognitive behavioural therapy

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Fucket list: a list of sexual practices you'd quite like to participate in but know you can't actually be arsed to sort out so fuck it.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Cock worship - over attendance to gender specific poultry requirements

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

WAM - getting turned on only by listening to Wham tribute bands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Transgenders: Robotic swingers who can change into vehicles and things, there are both good and evil versions

Bi-curious: A person who is interested in perhaps bidding you farewell

Playing with my partners consent: Asking for your other halfs permission so you can sit on the floor and have some fun and games with it

NOT LOOKING FOR SINGLE MEN!: Someone who wants to be contacted by fucking LOADS of men!

Dildo: Alternative name for Frodo Baggins uncle

Condom: A person who pretends they like to take control in the bedroom, but they're actually lying

Swingers Forum: Lynched people who enjoy a quartet of shots of a pirates favourite drink

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Oral only meets - a social bitching-fest

Bisexual - benefited from 10% off a toy at Lovehoney

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Bareback - in need of serious manscaping of his rear

Can lick for hours - someone to enlist after you've written your Christmas cards

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Watersports- events/ sports on water eg kytesurfing, jet blasting.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Gangbang... A group of drummers playing in unison.

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By *kem manMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

Bi sexual / someone who pays for sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pegging, hanging out the laundry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Swingers Club: Can mean several things

It's a chocolatey biscuit intended to be consumed by people into 60s dancing

A black suit in a deck of cards which sways back and forth

A bludgeoning weapon used to fend off unwanted affections

Fisting: When a bee or wasp stabs you in your hand whilst it's clenched

MMF: The sound you make when you try to speak when gagged

MFF: The sound you make when you're gagged and someone punches you in the stomach

Bestiality: A hot beverage made by placing a bag into a cup of hot water by a white American rap trio for histories greatest boxer

French Kiss: A alternative to Fries, made by placing peoples lips in hot fat.

Felching: When you fall over and it makes a ringing sort of sound

Food play: A theatrical production featuring a variety of consumables

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bi sexual / someone who pays for sex"

No, bisexual is what a Scottish person says to someone who intends to hire a prostitute.

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Threesome - only playing when it's either 3am/pm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dogging- Taking your dog jogging

Cunnilingus- Being very sneaky whilst flying on an Irish aeroplane.

Spitroasting- emptying your throat whilst cooking Sunday lunch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waterboarding....submerging that surf board.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cunnilingus- Being very sneaky whilst flying on an Irish aeroplane.

Spitroasting- emptying your throat whilst cooking Sunday lunch.

These two were both really good

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Fellatio - stumbling while sneezing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fellatio - stumbling while sneezing. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rimming. ...lining up those water glasses trying to play the tune of

Tubular Bells

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Cuckolding - the result of years in a professional kitchen.

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

"Rimming. ...lining up those water glasses trying to play the tune of

Tubular Bells"

I'm going to try try this shortly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cuckolding - the result of years in a professional kitchen. "

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pegging: Dressing up as Barbara Windsor from EastEnders

Fellatio: Captain Hornblowers frightening brother

Sloppy Seconds: Someone who's not very good at time keeping

Orgy: Suggesting the letter G as an alternative

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 21:19:07]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spit or Swallow?: Questioning someone whether they prefer the legendary British fighter plane, or small, graceful birds with beautiful tail feathers.

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Foreplay - dangerous golf.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

These are all really clever, my brain will not work correctly atm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BD, Sex twice a day.

TDS, Sex three times a day.

PRN, Sex when required.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Oooo I got one I think.

Creampie - A pie with a cream topping

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Deep-throating a special spray for healing sore throats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi gal- a dyslexic fella called big Al

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Cum - a little hamlet off a small village.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging- A trapeze artist at work

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Cybersex - sex from another planet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soft swing: playing swing ball in your back garden, but only hitting it gently because no one wants to lose an eye

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oooo I got one I think.

Creampie - A pie with a cream topping

I would have said a pastry made from Eric Claptons old band

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Necrophilia - Sexual gratification from touching/looking at necks

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

ATM......People who shag next to a cash machine before withdrawing their dollar

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Social meet: A kind of animal product know for being gregarious

Donkey Punch: Recommended when you find yourself in the ring with a boxing ass

Very Well Endowed: A person who has lots of walled holes in the ground from which water can be collected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock worship- Being a politician

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Pearl necklace - a string of shiny white beads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spanking - monarch on a bridge

Snowballing - innocent winter fun

Strap on - buckle up*

*(it's going to be a wild ride)

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Pussy - pet cat

Cock - male hen

Squirter - water pistol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pussy - pet cat

Cock - male hen

Squirter - water pistol

Heavy cummer(bund) - unusual evening wear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit or Swallow?: Questioning someone whether they prefer the legendary British fighter plane, or small, graceful birds with beautiful tail feathers."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

S&M: What Slim Shady would be called if he came from a city in Germany

Funnilingus: The act of going down on a female clown (I made that name up but it was funny

)

Sadomasochism: When someone instructs you to enter a church during mass, make Homer Simpsons famous exclamation, then sigh and smooch everyone.

Tribbing: What someone with a cold calls falling over.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Oooo I got one I think.

Creampie - A pie with a cream topping

I would have said a pastry made from Eric Claptons old band"

Ooooo, clever

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

"Pussy - pet cat

Cock - male hen

Squirter - water pistol

Heavy cummer(bund) - unusual evening wear "

Kinks - waves in your hair or a band

Wank - a Chinese wink

Dogging - missing a class in school - (Scottish slang )

Outdoor fun - a picnic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Submissive - a letter sent underwater

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Ball busting - Raiding freshers social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dogging - missing a class in school - (Scottish slang )

That takes me back. Ah'm no gaun tae school the day - ah'm dogging it......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Splooshing - jumping up and down in puddles.

BBC- a television broadcaster

Angry Dragon- a cross giant lizard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cross-dressing - being angry at work because you are wearing odd socks as a result of getting dressed in the dark so as to avoid waking your still slumbering partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dredging- scuba dive practice!

Blue waffle disease- an unhealthy addiction to fluffy dressing gowns

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Same room fun - playing board games in the same room, as opposed to across the virtual game-osphere.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Sapiosexual those who pay money to dating sites

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Orgasm: When you have two choices, and one involves farting in someone's face.

Doggy Style: When you haven't the energy to finish sex, so you put your partner in a small bag so you can enjoy them later, or something found in the countryside built into a fence, to allow canines to pass

Crossdressing: Putting clothes on a couple of perpendicular lines

Al Fresco: A guy who likes painting marble

Testicles: When you try writing 'little' twice in a cute way to see if you them, or frozen water droplets with a spherical shape

Bisexuality: What you say when you no longer want sex

Whore: Offering someone a choice in a particularly well spoken, theatrical sort of way

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

CD - shiny disc that has songs on it

Gag - a quick joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fisting- a game of paper, scissors, stone without paper or scissors.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hair pulling: Go out looking to romance fast and strong wild rabbits

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Some of these are brilliant OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye,great original thread op.

Makes a change from the same auld regurgitated themes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flagellation......Flag waving/collecting

Apologies if anyone's said this already!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doggie fashion... Going around in Dalmatian print attire everywhere

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Cuckhold - holding onto a cuckoo whilst playing, multi-tasking on another level.

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

"Aye,great original thread op.

Makes a change from the same auld regurgitated themes

My favourite since recently being hooked by the lounge. Hilarious, op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Flagellation......Flag waving/collecting

Apologies if anyone's said this already!"

Missed a trick there! I'm gonna change it slightly...

Flagellation - Being elated by anything flag related!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

69- battered prawn balls in sweet and sour sauce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of a stretch, maybe, but:

Manwhoring - there's a guy on the phone for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two girls one cup- epic film about a woman's golf tournament

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bum fun- inviting some destitute alcoholics around to play on your x-box...

....is there only me playing now?... I'll get my coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tit wank....a naff feathered friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tit wank....a naff feathered friend "

Soapy tit wank....naff feathered friend in the bath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cross dressing - dressing up so you look all angry

Leather lover - goes around hugging cows

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By *am-RaiderMan
over a year ago

Corby

Excellent thread with some very clever answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auto erotic asphyxiation......Ehhhhhhh,fixing broken donkeys from the back of a sexy car!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn- a shop you can end up in when your totally skint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Auto erotic asphyxiation......Ehhhhhhh,fixing broken donkeys from the back of a sexy car!

Ooooo those first few words made me a little horny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

French letters. Bisous

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Flogging - selling things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Space docking - landing a spaceship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship "

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humiliation - watching the England football team in major tournaments!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

Is that a promise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

Is that a promise

Cross my heart n spank your peachy wee ass it's a promise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

Is that a promise

Cross my heart n spank your peachy wee ass it's a promise!

Will you wear a kilt and play bag pipes.....ooooo and throw your big long pole around.

Fuck this is exciting!

Sorry OP but I've pulled Shaun Connery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

Is that a promise

Cross my heart n spank your peachy wee ass it's a promise!

Will you wear a kilt and play bag pipes.....ooooo and throw your big long pole around.

Fuck this is exciting!

Sorry OP but I've pulled Shaun Connery

I'll shertainly tossh my caber for you wifey....but only if you promish to play with your pusshy n let me call you Mish Moneypenny

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Fingering - A small ornate object, usually adorning a digit

Cum bucket - A command issued by a telekinesis practitioner

Snowballing - A propulsive pursuit during winter

Golden showers - Metallurgical transfer activity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinky- wearing un-ironed clothing

Submissive- forever forgetting where you parked your submarine

Erection- a flat pack wardrobe, tent, ect

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Loving this thread... Lots of chuckles

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cuckolding - using both hands to carry a bird that makes a distinctive sound!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scat play - having sex while singing along to Scatman Crothers or Scatman John

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flicking the bean- annoying your younger brother at the dinner table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

69er

Talking about soup then going to sleep

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Gynecologist - someone who digs up Dinosaurs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Space docking - landing a spaceship

I'd like to dock my hands around your pretty little neck.....then give it a little squeeze

Only if you promise to use me after

I promise to keep my hands around your pretty little neck throughout said using....well at least one anyway....I might use the other hand to restrain you by the wrists

Marry me?

Haha,I now pronounce us Bruce and Sub,do you solemnly swear to do as I command but also be cheekily n bratishly disobedient with it....as long as we both shall live?

I'm so all over that princess

Right ya cheeky wee mare,you're getting put over my knee when I get my hands on you!

Off to a sterling start!

Oh fuck I've already cum lol

Did I say you could cum yet? Oh you're certainly so all over the disobedient part!

Now I want you to stand in the corner perfectly still,eyes front at all times while I penetrate you with my fingers.....10 skelps across the bum for every time you move even the slightest millimeter!

Is that a promise

Cross my heart n spank your peachy wee ass it's a promise!

Will you wear a kilt and play bag pipes.....ooooo and throw your big long pole around.

Fuck this is exciting!

Sorry OP but I've pulled Shaun Connery

I'll shertainly tossh my caber for you wifey....but only if you promish to play with your pusshy n let me call you Mish Moneypenny

Will you pair get a room!!

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Hot wife. A tea trolley with spirit lamp for keeping food warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unsolicited cock pic - when you're surprised by farmyard imagery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Figging- stuffing figs with ginger!

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Polyamory - an unequivocal love for the jam roly poly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Edging- Going around telling everyone your a guitarist for U2

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Blow job - gainful employment in the glass trade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mfm- a radio station dedicated solely for monkies.

Mmf- a noise you make when your message stays unread.

Ffm- a radio station dedicated solely for fish

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Pussy play, teasing your cat with a fluffy mouse on a string

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Double penetration, the practice of making holes in donuts two at a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hand job - being a manicurist

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By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

Electric stimulation - spending an afternoon playing with a Scalextric set

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Electric stimulation - spending an afternoon playing with a Scalextric set"

My perfect meet

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Space docking - inserting a USB in to a computer.

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By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"Electric stimulation - spending an afternoon playing with a Scalextric set

My perfect meet

Excuse me one second whilst I go and investigate the loft. You may or may not receive a message based on the outcome of the expedition.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"69- battered prawn balls in sweet and sour sauce"

That one made me laugh

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Sex - groups of people with somewhat different religious beliefs (typically regarded as heretical) from those of a larger group to which they belong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Masturbating - a large group of people discussing their views on a certain topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

love this - you clever lot

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

DP chain of womens clothing shops... Dorothy Perkins

sloppy seconds...really bad assistants at a boxing match

Hand job.....cleaning your car without using a car wash

Flashing....what a lighthouse does

Upskirt....what you do when waking through a puddle

Panty peak....top of a pile of underwear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Flicking the bean- annoying your younger brother at the dinner table"

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By *obitoutMan
over a year ago

somewhere in the middle

Great thread

Glory hole - Reminiscing on the good old days of living in a bunker

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Bukkake - A surprise of light brown/beige

Shag - A popular Swedish fab friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Golden shower: that first shower after 1 week wild camping.

Hee hee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Edging; The practice of endeavouring to keep ones balance whilst shuffling feet along the curb of the pavement for as long as possible, until the inevitable flailing and windmilling of arms ensues in a futile, last ditch attempt to go that little bit further before falling off into the imagined chasm/lava/void/alligator pit (or peril of preference)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dreadging ....gathering up the bottom sediments and disposing them at an alternative location.

A trusted technique to keep the waterways navigable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bukkake - A surprise of light brown/beige

Brilliant! This is my fav one!

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By *oungladMan
over a year ago

Burnham

Pegging- the art of someone of the opposite sex hanging your clothes on the wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick repeater - machine gun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bukkake - playing peek-a-boo with a soldier

or, showing disapproval of your vehicle's starting mechanism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Riding - a pleasant rhythmic activity with your four legged friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hot wife - woman who spends too much time baking!

Great thread op!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Viagra - a wannabe Niagra falls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rampant Rabbit- A singular male rabbit in a hutch full of female rabbits.

Hair pulling- where the single male rabbit draws the line on a night out with friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spit roast - Sunday lunch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Butt plug - covering the drainage hole of the bath with a strategically placed arse cheek when the proper plug is missing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jizz - removes stains from any surface

Glory hole - football celebration where you shovel a hole in the opposition goal, jump in and celebrate in glory

Mmmmmf - noise you make during an attempted kidnapping.

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

[Removed by poster at 30/08/16 10:47:33]

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Electrostimulation - I'm doing it now, listening to Chvrches that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nymphomaniac- Someone who goes absolutely mental when bothered by a small flying insect.

Sex addict- somebody who is constantly calculating how many times they've fornicated.

Milf- a calcium rich drink produced by cows that's been fucked about by auto-correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"DP chain of womens clothing shops... Dorothy Perkins

sloppy seconds...really bad assistants at a boxing match

Hand job.....cleaning your car without using a car wash

Flashing....what a lighthouse does

Upskirt....what you do when waking through a puddle

Panty peak....top of a pile of underwear

Your "hand job" one reminds me of a car wash place a few miles from where I live - proudly advertises itself as giving "the best hand job in the North"!

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

"DP chain of womens clothing shops... Dorothy Perkins

sloppy seconds...really bad assistants at a boxing match

Hand job.....cleaning your car without using a car wash

Flashing....what a lighthouse does

Upskirt....what you do when waking through a puddle

Panty peak....top of a pile of underwear

Your "hand job" one reminds me of a car wash place a few miles from where I live - proudly advertises itself as giving "the best hand job in the North"!

And....

Or have you had to go to advertising standards?

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By *oungladMan
over a year ago

Burnham

Food play- foreign sweets and toys that you can assemble and play with before eating

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By *kgeminiMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Porn - the little chess pieces that go in a line in front of the king, queen, knights etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Food play- foreign sweets and toys that you can assemble and play with before eating "

Kinder eggs?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Tranny lover. - aficionado of wireless gramophone systems

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Foot job - Employment as a postal delivery operative etc

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Clinging pussy - next door cat that wont bloody stop following me down the street.

pussy pounding - a women who's singing sound like a cat being strangled in a bag underwater.

Unicorn - a mythical creature.

Bumbandit - a nintendo64 computer game.

Cytheria - a greko-roman deity

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"I am absolutely loving this thread

Us too

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

BDSM - A now defunct blackeberry internet messaging app.

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