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I wish I were a pigeon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There’s nothing as free as a pigeon

I know ! I’ve just seen the proof

Cause the pigeons in my garden

Are mating on my roof

They’ve been at it on top of the greenhouse

And on the garden shed

They’ll go at it almost anywhere

Pigeons don’t need a bed

They’ve been tupping in the tree tops

Ever eager to re-bond

And renewing their pigeon wedding vows

Down by the neighbour’s pond

They’ve been shagging in the shrubbery

Oblivious to the local cats

Fornicating in the fern

Embarrassing the rats

They peg on top of the clothes line

And copulate on the hedge

I looked out my window one morning

There was a love in on the ledge

They have no body worries

They’re not all about legs or tits

They just fluff up their feathers

And parade their birdy bits

They don’t stick to a season

They have no sense of shame

The bonding goes on through the year

I don’t know which to blame

There seems to be no place or time

Just anywhere will do

They just get together, have a go

Then snuggle, bill and coo

The male is oh so handsome

Who wouldn’t be impressed

With lilac downy plumage

And a very puffed out chest

The female is real girly

She never crows or squawks

Her little bum goes side to side

And wiggles as she walks

If there’s a life after this one,

Don’t laugh, it’s not that absurd

I'm coming back as a pigeon

Not a lonely liver bird

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That really made me think

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I don't know what the reason is but I suspect it's the measure used as a deterrent, however, the poor little buggers in Leeds lose toes. There are very few with a full set.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coo.

I am with Tom Lehrer on pigeons...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not round here you wouldn't lots guys go out shooting them as pest control I believe stop them destroying crops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/RVf4ntke9q8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poem fails to mention the dying a slow death from a beak full of fungus part.

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