FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I remember the first time I saw my wife's fanny. I stared at it in horror for a while shocked at the enormity of it, she was hanging out like a burst couch. Seeing the look of shock upon my face she explained; I hope it doesn't put you off but many years ago I caught my vagina trying to climb over a barbed wire fence, I said" how far across the fucking field were you before you realised it was snagged

Post a joke and rate the one above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a condom and coffin?

Ones for Cumming in

ones for going in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My beloved Stoke City's defensive line at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Burnley 2 liverpool 0 haha funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My beloved Stoke City's defensive line at the moment

Goor result last night though.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I heard a joke yesterday that was so brilliantly awful, it's unrepeatable

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

UP HIS SLEEVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best joke in the world. No need to continue this thread, that joke wins the internet.

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By *cprMan
over a year ago

Athy

What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your cock up your girls ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 birds sat on a perch, and one says to the other 'can you smell fish?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad gave me a form to fill in for a donor card......

He's a man after my own heart!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?

A: Go for the juggler!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A: a rip off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Nan used to always say "there is no place like home". But when we put her in one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?

A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at some of these "jokes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Burnley 2 liverpool 0 haha funny as fuck"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the rarest form of owl?

A tea towel. ...I found it funny lol.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: What has got two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: What kind of bees produce milk?

A: Boobies

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry."

Lol - reminds me of a social work joke:

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None - it's not in their job description. However, 15 social workers can get together and create a working guide to Coping With Darkness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 66 yr old woman goes to the doctors and says

" doc i wake up feeling great but when i get out of bed i get really bad chest pains."

The doctor replies "aw yes i know whats wrong"

She replies "is it my heart? My lungs? Angina?"

He replies " no youre walking on your tits"

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Pulled a gypsy bird last night, she asked me did I want to go back to hers for a good time, she wasn't fucking kidding!

I went on the dodgems,waltzer,ghost train and went home with a gold fish...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God, contact lenses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently 1in 3 Britons are conceived in IKEA beds! Which is mad because those places are really well lit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotofpuss.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy goes in to a tattoo studio wanting all of his back tattooed and asks the artist for some ideas.

How about an Indian with all the head gear replies the artist.

Great says the guy and strips of as the artist gets down to work

Two hours in the guy asks "can you put a tomahawk in the Indians hand"

The artist replies "wait there I'm just finishing of his turban"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's blue and fucks grannies??

Hypothermia

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

What's white and can't climb trees?

A dead fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Burnley 2 liverpool 0 haha funny as fuck"

Best jokes are all about timing... Accrington Stanley... Who're they?

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Heard about the magic tractor?

It went down a hill and turned into a field.

Ba dum tish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the rarest form of owl?

A tea towel. ...I found it funny lol."

The jokes "most common owl" not rarest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Xxx

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Why is Henrys wife covered in bite marks?

Because he tudor.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has a cock and a rubiks cube got in common?

The more you play with it the harder it gets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ex once told me I was childish and immature, so pointed out if this was the case I wouldn't be allowed an arsfor.

What's an arsfor she said.

Doing stinky poo poos I said .

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Lol - reminds me of a social work joke:

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None - it's not in their job description. However, 15 social workers can get together and create a working guide to Coping With Darkness.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Apparently 1in 3 Britons are conceived in IKEA beds! Which is mad because those places are really well lit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An elephant's sexual organs are in its feet because if it steps on you, you're fucked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man walks into a doctors surgery naked with cling film wrapped around him and says

"Doctor, I think I'm going crazy"

Doctor replies

"Well, I can clearly see your nuts"

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By *igandy123Man
over a year ago

old trafford

What's the difference between a blow job and anal sex?

A blow job makes your day where as anal sex makes your hole weak!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took the shell off my racing snail once to make it faster.....if anything it made it more sluggish

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

What's brown and sticky?

A stick...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?

A: He didn't have any arms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two prostitutes are stood chatting about their experiences.

"Have you ever been caught by the fuzz?" The other prostitute replies, "No, but I've been swung around by my tits."

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

"Two prostitutes are stood chatting about their experiences.

"Have you ever been caught by the fuzz?" The other prostitute replies, "No, but I've been swung around by my tits."

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Q: What's black, white, and red all over and doesn't fit through a revolving door?

A: A nun with a spear through her head.

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

A kid dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, a lady asked him where are your buccaneers, the kid said under my bucking hat

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"A kid dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, a lady asked him where are your buccaneers, the kid said under my bucking hat "

Lol

Was thinking about you earlier...

Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?

A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

"Q: What's black, white, and red all over and doesn't fit through a revolving door?

A: A nun with a spear through her head.

"
what do you call a guy with NV no arms and no legs who just lays in front of a door ? ..... matt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the rarest form of owl?

A tea towel. ...I found it funny lol.

The jokes "most common owl" not rarest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tory austerity:p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A young woman goes into the doctors. He tells her the tests shows she is pregnant. "I can't be!! I am a virgin!!" She exclaimed.

The doctor takes a pair of binoculars from his draw and uses them to look out the window. After a while the young woman asks what he is doing. He replied "Last time this happened 3 wise men came from the East; and i don't want to miss them"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman goes into the doctors and says

"doc i really need your help. I am a 100% nymphomanic"

The doctor say " go behind the screen and take your clothes off"

The woman replies "where will i put them?"

The doc replies "over here on top of mine!"

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"Tory austerity:p"

A Labour leader that can't find a seat on a half empty train...

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Apparently 1in 3 Britons are conceived in IKEA beds! Which is mad because those places are really well lit

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marriage either ends in divorce or death. Why does anyone chose it?!

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By *ockyjohnMan
over a year ago

North West

Talking to a blacksmith, he asked me if I'd ever shoed a horse. Nope I said but .....told a donkey to fuck off once!

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

Q. What do Blackpool donkeys get for their dinner.

A. 30 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

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By *oodsmanNWMan
over a year ago

Preston

2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "how the fuck do we drive this thing.?"

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By *oodsmanNWMan
over a year ago

Preston

Onions aren't the only vegetable that can make you cry.. Try sticking a marrow up your arse..!

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By *oodsmanNWMan
over a year ago

Preston

How do you get down from an elephant...?

You don't, you get it from a duck..!

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

just phoned my doctor for my STD results.

I said, "Hi Doc, do you have my results?"

He said, "Yes, it's not the best news you could`ve hoped for, I posted them yesterday."

I said, "First class?"

He said, "No, Facebook."

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By *ickey and Minnie40Couple
over a year ago

Swansea

"My Nan used to always say "there is no place like home". But when we put her in one..."

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