FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Being in control!

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Are you a control freak?

Do you have to be in charge of most situations you are in be it socially or sexually?

Or are you happy to let others take the lead, sit back and follow?

Or a follow your own path neither a leader nor a follower? (i understand the difference between a control freak and a leader btw)

From our experience of Swinging thus far, there does seem to be a definite split between, with the controlling types taking the lions share.

Not saying either way is good or bad.

Just interested in other people's take on it and where do they put themselves.

For us

Jools is definitely a follower, but would never do anything she didn't want to.

I am a control freak admittedly, however I understand that there comes a point where others have to be involved and go with the flow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Well all know that control is an illusion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Not sure of your terminology - I prefer maestro

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Well all know that control is an illusion"

Yes - you don;t even control your own breathing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I wouldnt say control freak. But if i want something done i get of my arse and do it then if it doesnt work i can only blame myself. I like to be in control of my life having a mental illness makes it pretty difficult so i have to work really hard at it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr NbN likes to be in control and is very dominant and I'm naturally submissive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I am a bit of a control freak at work. I expect procedures to be followed exactly.I'm not in sexual situations I know what I like and like to do but am willing to go with the flow.I rarely give control over to people sexually as most don't get to find the inner me, which allows me to give them control.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will go with the flow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

[Removed by poster at 15/08/16 11:27:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has its moments. Its not as much fun though.

Riding a bike at 120 or diving deep is nice. But coming off a bike at 120 and walking away, or having to make an emergency ascent because you've pushed your air supply to its limit, that's when I feel alive the most.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a bit of a control freak at work. I expect procedures to be followed exactly.I'm not in sexual situations I know what I like and like to do but am willing to go with the flow.I rarely give control over to people sexually as most don't get to find the inner me, which allows me to give them control."

Same here. I need to be in control at work and other situations, or at least feel like I am.

We've always preferred intimate meets with people, meet at theirs or ours after a social. As there's the perception I'm in control of the situation. We can't turn up and just fuck

We want to try a club. But it's the opposite of being in control. The feeling that anything can happen is both terrifying and thrilling.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I prefer to think of myself as a chameleon, I'll be what I'm needed to be In any situation - sexually, personally or professionally.

I get on with about 98% of people I meet. The other 2% don't get on with anyone.

D

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well all know that control is an illusion"

Some believe the illusion though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford


"I am a bit of a control freak at work. I expect procedures to be followed exactly.I'm not in sexual situations I know what I like and like to do but am willing to go with the flow.I rarely give control over to people sexually as most don't get to find the inner me, which allows me to give them control.

Same here. I need to be in control at work and other situations, or at least feel like I am.

We've always preferred intimate meets with people, meet at theirs or ours after a social. As there's the perception I'm in control of the situation. We can't turn up and just fuck

We want to try a club. But it's the opposite of being in control. The feeling that anything can happen is both terrifying and thrilling. "

Anything can happen but you are still totally in control. Unless you want to let go of the reins - then I'm sure people will oblige.

Clubs we find are in the most part almost too controlled. Most people are too scared to say or initiate anything for fear of being labelled a sex pest.

D

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll follow a good leader. But generally if there is no clear lead I'll step in. Sexually I'm the opposite.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there's a male involved, I always let him think he's in control

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a chameleon to any situation..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It surprises some people to find out I'm not a control freak, I'm in control of myself, I rarely lose control of myself as in get angry to the point I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't control others.

I'm more of a guide, over had bosses in the past that have come in and wanted to change this change that, so I have had to gently guide them into a direction that is beneficial to all concerned.

Sexualy, I'm not one to subscribe to the misconception of control, and who owns it, bdsm might look like a Dom controlling a submissive, but is it? Is it really?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"It surprises some people to find out I'm not a control freak, I'm in control of myself, I rarely lose control of myself as in get angry to the point I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't control others.

I'm more of a guide, over had bosses in the past that have come in and wanted to change this change that, so I have had to gently guide them into a direction that is beneficial to all concerned.

Sexualy, I'm not one to subscribe to the misconception of control, and who owns it, bdsm might look like a Dom controlling a submissive, but is it? Is it really? "

No - it's all about the sub

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"It surprises some people to find out I'm not a control freak, I'm in control of myself, I rarely lose control of myself as in get angry to the point I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't control others.

I'm more of a guide, over had bosses in the past that have come in and wanted to change this change that, so I have had to gently guide them into a direction that is beneficial to all concerned.

Sexualy, I'm not one to subscribe to the misconception of control, and who owns it, bdsm might look like a Dom controlling a submissive, but is it? Is it really?

No - it's all about the sub"

Fuckin' tedious too - I'm like, can we just fuck now?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It surprises some people to find out I'm not a control freak, I'm in control of myself, I rarely lose control of myself as in get angry to the point I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't control others.

I'm more of a guide, over had bosses in the past that have come in and wanted to change this change that, so I have had to gently guide them into a direction that is beneficial to all concerned.

Sexualy, I'm not one to subscribe to the misconception of control, and who owns it, bdsm might look like a Dom controlling a submissive, but is it? Is it really? "

No. And any so called dom who thinks he controls the game, is delusional and potentially dangerous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to feel im in control in everyday life (although the mrs is probably pulling the strings from behind lol) in the bedroom im very submissive i love to give pleassure and like a women to tell me what she wants i dont have the self confidence to be the dom though im attracted to confident outgoing women so its never been an issue

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/08/16 13:19:29]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It surprises some people to find out I'm not a control freak, I'm in control of myself, I rarely lose control of myself as in get angry to the point I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't control others.

I'm more of a guide, over had bosses in the past that have come in and wanted to change this change that, so I have had to gently guide them into a direction that is beneficial to all concerned.

Sexualy, I'm not one to subscribe to the misconception of control, and who owns it, bdsm might look like a Dom controlling a submissive, but is it? Is it really? "

I'm naturally submissive and enjoy being sub to G as he is very dominant. However he is not in control, it's all about the sub. If I didn't trust him explicitly I would not be able to fully submit to him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I am neither a leader nor a sheep, I prefer to think of myself more as a free spirit. Having spent 4 years as a manager in a sales environment, if there is a lack of direction then I am more than happy to step up to the plate and guide people in what I think is the best way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I wouldn't say I'm a control freak or anything like that but I do thrive on responsibility .

I've been my own boss making my own way in the world since I was 27 .

I was a foreman at 20 in charge of a group of men all older than me .

I owned my first property by 27 mortgage paid off .

At school I was deemed a natural leader and always given leadership in all I did .

In the bedroom I revel and thrive on being in charge love to fulfil a submissive,'s needs the responsibility the illusion of power all turn me on couple that with the effect my action are having on my play partner and watch my lust for her go through the roof .

I like to make my own luck by taking calculated risks love having my own small business and generally being in charge of my own destiny baring illness of coarse .

I don't see myself as a control freak just someone who's more comfortable and happy when leading and making the decisions for myself .

After reading this you may think differently but to me I'm just a guy who is best suited to having control .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm highly independent but i wouldn't go into a strop if i wasn't allowed to control anything in my life.

i'm probably a bit of drifter who just goes with the flow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top