FabSwingers.com forum: 'KIDULT'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was, yes. Even my teenagers are now commenting that Dad always has to get his way, I say nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe me, it is not an exclusively male condition. I know and have known kidults of both genders.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Believe me, it is not an exclusively male condition. I know and have known kidults of both genders. "

Yes, my ex is seeing one too, they break up regularly and get back together a week later.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

"Believe me, it is not an exclusively male condition. I know and have known kidults of both genders. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Believe me, it is not an exclusively male condition. I know and have known kidults of both genders. "

I can quite believe it HH.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ? "

My ex-bf is, yes.

He's now married a woman around 20 years younger than he is, so perhaps they'll be well suited!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was, yes. Even my teenagers are now commenting that Dad always has to get his way, I say nothing.

Is that the reason or partly the reason your marriage ended?

The article I read 2 women had split with their husbands for this reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was, yes. Even my teenagers are now commenting that Dad always has to get his way, I say nothing.

Is that the reason or partly the reason your marriage ended?

The article I read 2 women had split with their husbands for this reason. "

It is a part of it yes. For a long time I thought I was the problem, as everyone else considered him a great guy. Since we split, his family have seen the other side of him and now our kids are old enough to see it too (I am very careful not to speak negatively about him to them and to keep a civil relationship with him)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

It's a personality disorder in it's extreme form.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

They're not the easiest to maintain friendships with either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was, yes. Even my teenagers are now commenting that Dad always has to get his way, I say nothing.

Is that the reason or partly the reason your marriage ended?

The article I read 2 women had split with their husbands for this reason.

But its so hard keeping as good healthy relationship with some one who acts like a spoiled brat, I literally have to work my language around my ex's tendency to have tantrums, if it was just me, I'd just let her work through the tantrum on her own, but I don't need our son seeing that, its draining to say the least

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

They're not the easiest to maintain friendships with either. "

Why bother? Friendship should be mutually beneficial. There comes a point in life where you have to cull those who simply aren't good to be around.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i may have some KIDULT tendencies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

They're not the easiest to maintain friendships with either. "

I just avoid. I cba with the drama.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

They're not the easiest to maintain friendships with either.

Why bother? Friendship should be mutually beneficial. There comes a point in life where you have to cull those who simply aren't good to be around."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was, yes. Even my teenagers are now commenting that Dad always has to get his way, I say nothing.

Is that the reason or partly the reason your marriage ended?

The article I read 2 women had split with their husbands for this reason.

Yeah, being the bigger person sucks like a hoover. However, as we chose that person of our own free will to be the other parent of our children, we have a responsibility to deal with the situation in an adult manner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ? "

****The cracks in Lucy and James’s marriage appeared almost as soon as she brought home their baby.

‘Until our son was born, we’d kept life James’s way,’ says Lucy, 32. ‘I didn’t have anyone else to look after – so I basically looked after James.’****

Sound familiar?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I know a few female kidults, and they are impossible to have a relationship with, best to steer clear

They're not the easiest to maintain friendships with either. "

I don't think I haver any friends who are kidults, I mean being honest, no man ever truly grows up, me and my friends were playing call of duty with water pistols at a barbecue a few weeks back while the kids looked at us like we were stupid, but that's healthy I think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ?

****The cracks in Lucy and James’s marriage appeared almost as soon as she brought home their baby.

‘Until our son was born, we’d kept life James’s way,’ says Lucy, 32. ‘I didn’t have anyone else to look after – so I basically looked after James.’****

Sound familiar?

****Both had careers – Lucy in design, James in property. Lucy had learnt how to keep life ticking along smoothly. Their flat was never messy (Lucy tidied up after both of them) and their fridge never short of his favourite beer.

If James wanted to stay up late playing computer games or drinking with his friends, that was no problem. And if he slept in late at weekends, Lucy was more than happy to quietly occupy herself.

‘All that changed with parenthood,’ says Lucy. ‘I was preoccupied, tired and also utterly in love with our son. The flat became messy – because I wasn’t cleaning up – and the beer ran out while I was at the hospital. When I arrived home with our new baby, there was no food in the house, let alone anything to drink.’

Although Lucy was delighted with parenthood, James struggled. ‘He seemed to resent every sacrifice, every adjustment,****

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies "

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He plays the victim. He blames his problems on others and rarely looks inward. It’s never his fault; it’s yours, his boss’s, the other driver’s, all part of a giant global conspiracy against him.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He doesn’t see things through. You know how children are enthused by an idea and then lose interest? An adult persists with a project even when it’s no longer new, delaying gratification for the bigger picture.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere."

maybe not.. lol

that sounds like a selfish twat not someone that failed to grow all the way up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't like the way this thread is going.

The article in the DAILY MAIL is a watered down , shook up version of a personality type. It's a personality type that appears in BOTH GENDERS.

Far more interesting to look into the partner that assumes the burden of parenthood in a relationship and is 'content' to 'bring up' their large child.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the way this thread is going.

The article in the DAILY MAIL is a watered down , shook up version of a personality type. It's a personality type that appears in BOTH GENDERS.

Far more interesting to look into the partner that assumes the burden of parenthood in a relationship and is 'content' to 'bring up' their large child.

We all have our issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about females who refuse to grow up? Or is this just "man" thing?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about females who refuse to grow up? Or is this just "man" thing?"

Nope, as I commented, my ex's partner is quite similar to him, which makes for a very volatile relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I don't like the way this thread is going.

The article in the DAILY MAIL is a watered down , shook up version of a personality type. It's a personality type that appears in BOTH GENDERS.

Far more interesting to look into the partner that assumes the burden of parenthood in a relationship and is 'content' to 'bring up' their large child.

We all have our issues."

I'll go with that and some of those 'issues' are societal. We believe we must do certain things a certain way or be labelled failures.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about females who refuse to grow up? Or is this just "man" thing?"

I'd say no. It's not. There are lot's of women out there who look for 'daddies' with out knowing it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What about females who refuse to grow up? Or is this just "man" thing?"

The article did pinpoint males, but as said above its well known in females too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What about females who refuse to grow up? Or is this just "man" thing?

The article did pinpoint males, but as said above its well known in females too. "

The question was "Are you or were you married to a KIDULT.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the way this thread is going.

The article in the DAILY MAIL is a watered down , shook up version of a personality type. It's a personality type that appears in BOTH GENDERS.

Far more interesting to look into the partner that assumes the burden of parenthood in a relationship and is 'content' to 'bring up' their large child.

We all have our issues.

I'll go with that and some of those 'issues' are societal. We believe we must do certain things a certain way or be labelled failures. "

I live in Ireland where divorce was only legalised 22 years ago, there is considerable social pressure to make your marriage a "success", the definition of success being longevity and little else. I'm the first divorced person ever in my extended family.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Interesting read! Luckily it's not us! Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a bit of a kidult.. lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im a bit of a kidult.. lol "

Least you admit it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once broke it off with a girl because at 25 she still couldn't control her temper, threw strops when I said no to something cause it was out of budget. The final straw was when she admitted to me she just wanted someone to look after her after I confronted her about how I felt she wasn't pulling her weight around the apartment we were renting together at the time.

I'm sorry but I know we all sulk from time to time when things don't go our way or when someone hits a raw nerve, but at 25, after moving in with your partner, you should be ready to accept that a relationship and maintaining everything surrounding a relationship is a 50/50 effort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once broke it off with a girl because at 25 she still couldn't control her temper, threw strops when I said no to something cause it was out of budget. The final straw was when she admitted to me she just wanted someone to look after her after I confronted her about how I felt she wasn't pulling her weight around the apartment we were renting together at the time.

Could t agree more, as someone said above some women like to find someone who daddies them. Something along those lines anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ?

****The cracks in Lucy and James’s marriage appeared almost as soon as she brought home their baby.

‘Until our son was born, we’d kept life James’s way,’ says Lucy, 32. ‘I didn’t have anyone else to look after – so I basically looked after James.’****

Sound familiar?

If James wanted to stay up late playing computer games or drinking with his friends, that was no problem. And if he slept in late at weekends, Lucy was more than happy to quietly occupy herself.

Although Lucy was delighted with parenthood, James struggled. ‘He seemed to resent every sacrifice, every adjustment,****"

I blame Lucy for this. I was the same except I was always at home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm a kidult.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could t agree more, as someone said above some women like to find someone who daddies them. Something along those lines anyway. "

mmm, honestly I don't mind spoiling a woman and picking up more slack in a relationship once in a while. But it has to be earn't and I want to do it as a 'thank you' in a way, not because I'm a guy.

Honestly, laziness and a lack of hard work, personal ambition and drive kill relationships for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of kidults on fab lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

I was married to one !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way. Anna Moore charts the rise of the ‘kidult’ men who refuse to grow up.

Read this article yesterday, it was interesting to read.

Are you married or were married to a 'KIDULT' ?

****The cracks in Lucy and James’s marriage appeared almost as soon as she brought home their baby.

‘Until our son was born, we’d kept life James’s way,’ says Lucy, 32. ‘I didn’t have anyone else to look after – so I basically looked after James.’****

Sound familiar?

If James wanted to stay up late playing computer games or drinking with his friends, that was no problem. And if he slept in late at weekends, Lucy was more than happy to quietly occupy herself.

Although Lucy was delighted with parenthood, James struggled. ‘He seemed to resent every sacrifice, every adjustment,****

I blame Lucy for this. I was the same except I was always at home."

Yes I agree she done too much and he done nothing cause she fine it all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm not replying while Peter rabbits on the TV

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not replying while Peter rabbits on the TV "

I'm watching it to (but I do have a child with me

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I'm not replying while Peter rabbits on the TV

I'm watching it to (but I do have a child with me

)"
so do I lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i read that article yesterday...and yes, i was married to one, and ive seen a fair few of my friends with men like that too,who have had kids then decided its all a bit too much like hard work....im sure there are women too but ive seen a lot of very very juvenile men around..i think you only have to look at something like big brother to see that somehow, behaving like a 2yr old is seen as ok by a lot of people!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might enjoy reading about ego states op. Have a read about tranasctional analysis.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You might enjoy reading about ego states op. Have a read about tranasctional analysis."

I will do lovely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You might enjoy reading about ego states op. Have a read about tranasctional analysis.

I will do lovely

Its pretty fascinating a lot of examples in big bang theory x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You might enjoy reading about ego states op. Have a read about tranasctional analysis.

I will do lovely

Its pretty fascinating a lot of examples in big bang theory x"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere."

Seriously I have never stayed in a relationship past the lust stage so it is news to me that there is another stage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere."

Seriously I have never stayed in a relationship past the lust stage so it is news to me that there is another stage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere.

Seriously I have never stayed in a relationship past the lust stage so it is news to me that there is another stage."

Why? Do you get bored? Or they get bored?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"i may have some KIDULT tendencies

This may help you decide....

Typical signs that he is emotionally stunted

He never puts your needs first…unless it suits him to.

He is always looking for the next high. Whether it’s a fast car, line of cocaine or an extreme sport.

He is irresponsible and lacks self-control. This may show up in debt, an unrealistic career path, temper tantrums, binge drinking or inappropriate behaviour at family gatherings.

He is highly sensitive to things done to him, but blind to anything he does to others. You have to accept him for who he is but he won’t accept you for who you are.

He avoids confrontation. An overgrown child dislikes being ‘ticked off’ (as they see it) and will do anything to sidestep it – even leaving the house and slamming the door.

He’s unfaithful. His constant need for approval means that if the current relationship has moved past the lust stage, he may look elsewhere.

Seriously I have never stayed in a relationship past the lust stage so it is news to me that there is another stage.

Why? Do you get bored? Or they get bored? "

For me it is 99% sex. As long as I fancy the woman I will put up with the other stuff such as her family and her fuming about other people but once the sexual desire declines I can't stand it any more and I move on. But most blokes I know will put up with enormous ammounts of shit just for the sake of a fuck. Sorry thats me. Kidult probably a good description.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

My ex turned into a Kidult as soon as we moved.

Sat on his computer all day and refused to do any cooking, cleaning, DIY because he "didn't care how the house looked".

Wouldn't feed himself and expected me or his poor Mum who had severe back problems to make all of his meals and drinks, etc and threw a strop if we didn't (I.e: he would just go out to KFC).

Acted like a child whenever we wanted to go out and he didn't want to go (refusing to get dressed, would just lay on the sofa, etc).

I think he thought that because we had our names on a mortgage, I just wouldn't leave, but I did.

I think hos poor Mum was sad to see me go because I was the only one who helped her but I had to think of myself and had a good word with her before I left, telling her to give him a kick up the arse and not wait on him hand and foot.

- Amy. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

Def a both gender problem I would say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread