FabSwingers.com forum: Fart

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Well done you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done you!

I thought it inspired.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

That's what I call a fly bugger haha

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

Tut

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

My brother did that to me as children.

I hated him for ages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

JoeSEPH.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

My brother did that to me as children.

I hated him for ages. "

It was only a little one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

That's what I call a fly bugger haha "

I don't believe I'm evil or am I?!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

You need putting on the naughty step!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

My son farted really loudly in a carpark today then instantly turned to me and said even louder 'MUM'!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

a close friend often PARPS in public then blames me loudly.

Bitch, but I love her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

woohoo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

That's what I call a fly bugger haha

I don't believe I'm evil or am I?!"

You certainly are you little devil

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I have just let a Donald loose

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

Are you...

Mr Methane?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFLw8aH-M2w

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

That's what I call a fly bugger haha

I don't believe I'm evil or am I?!

You certainly are you little devil

Whimsical I'm going for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

Step brothers style hahaha

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Yes. On a date. There wasn't another one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

That's what I call a fly bugger haha

I don't believe I'm evil or am I?!

You certainly are you little devil

Whimsical I'm going for! "

Whimsical... I like that haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once farted during a bj hehehe that naughty girl just kept on going wooohhhoooo

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Le Pétomane

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Le Pétomane

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

You're a mine of information ain't ya

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Le Pétomane

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

You're a mine of information ain't ya

You'd be frankly amazed/horrified

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Hoho!

Roland the Farter

Roland the Farter (known in contemporary records as Roland le Fartere, Roulandus le Fartere or Roland le Petour) was a medieval flatulist who lived in 12th century England. He held Hemingstone manor in Suffolk and 30 acres (12 hectares) of land in return for his services as a jester for King Henry II. Each year he was obliged to perform "Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum" (one jump, one whistle, and one fart) for the King's court at Christmas.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fanny farts do NOT COUNT.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Hoho!

Roland the Farter

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

"Bumblum" is Latin for fart.

I've learned something today

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

".Fanny farts do NOT COUNT. "

It's your thread, lady, so I guess not.

But they are funny, too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hoho!

Roland the Farter

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

"Bumblum" is Latin for fart.

I've learned something today

Not botty burp?

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

I did at work last week... just pretended like it was one of the customers walking past when it was busy...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Hoho!

Roland the Farter

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

"Bumblum" is Latin for fart.

I've learned something today

Not botty burp? "

Trumpus maximus?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very proficient at a #driveby

As my son calls it i blame it on spending to much time around men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Farting is endlessly funny.

Or I'm immature.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am very proficient at a #driveby

As my son calls it i blame it on spending to much time around men

Wonderful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hoho!

Roland the Farter

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

"Bumblum" is Latin for fart.

I've learned something today

Not botty burp?

Trumpus maximus?"

Donald?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Farting is endlessly funny.

Or I'm immature. "

It is funny. Maybe you are immature, then so am I.

Everyone does it.

Even the Queen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Farting is endlessly funny.

Or I'm immature.

It is funny. Maybe you are immature, then so am I.

Everyone does it.

Even the Queen

The Queen probs drops SBD'S.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

".Fanny farts do NOT COUNT.

It's your thread, lady, so I guess not.

But they are funny, too

Verging on hilarity at some points as well

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

"Farting is endlessly funny.

Or I'm immature.

It is funny. Maybe you are immature, then so am I.

Everyone does it.

Even the Queen

Reminds me of a song my sister used to sing when she was little. .. It goes something like this

One little boy in Buckingham palace

Showed his bum to the Queen

When the queen showed it back

All he saw was a royal crack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Farting is endlessly funny.

Or I'm immature.

It is funny. Maybe you are immature, then so am I.

Everyone does it.

Even the Queen

Reminds me of a song my sister used to sing when she was little. .. It goes something like this

One little boy in Buckingham palace

Showed his bum to the Queen

When the queen showed it back

All he saw was a royal crack

love it

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

LOL

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

first time I fanny farted I felt FREEEEEE.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The Campfire - Blazing Saddles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIP9KXdmO0

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The Campfire - Blazing Saddles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIP9KXdmO0"

The best farting scene EVER.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

Not sure if its a good or a bad thing but as the full time stay at home parent to my 3 kids my 2 daughters are not what you would typically call lady like my 4yr old has taken to running over to me cocking her leg up and farting on me

Hope it makes you feel better that there are worse dads lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I farted on the London underground many years ago. Picadilly line I believe.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I farted on the London underground many years ago. Picadilly line I believe. "

Can you still smell it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I farted on the London underground many years ago. Picadilly line I believe.

Can you still smell it?"

Been a while since I've been to London.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I farted on the London underground many years ago. Picadilly line I believe.

Can you still smell it?

Been a while since I've been to London. "

London rocks and can smell.

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By *uerido55Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

Really? No shit!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

[Removed by poster at 05/08/16 00:51:30]

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"[Smell removed by poster at 05/08/16 00:51:30]"

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Especially if demoncore has been there!!!

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

"I farted during a job interview once. I got the job!

Really? No shit!

I think shit may have changed the outcome of that interview

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"[Smell removed by poster at 05/08/16 00:51:30]"

You're taking the piss now bro

Ooops, sorry wrong thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hate being on a crowded bus and dying to let ripp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"hate being on a crowded bus and dying to let ripp

Let it RIP!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Gone with the Wind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it."

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

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By *iodavidMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hahahhahahahahh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws "

That's alright - you can go and blow him

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

He who denied it supplied it

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

Errmmm....

What was the convo about again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Farts are universal funny

Except when you're on the receiving end of a Dutch oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Farts are universal funny

Except when you're on the receiving end of a Dutch oven

That's just nasty.

I did have a gf and we'd have farting compos in bed.

*Parp*

One nil!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

Yeah, not really my style.

You need some practice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

Yeah, not really my style.

You need some practice?

at least your not saying I've got nice tits

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I did have a gf and we'd have farting compos in bed.

I shall henceforth rename you as FartyJoe

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

Yeah, not really my style.

You need some practice?

at least your not saying I've got nice tits "

I know, bit of a cliché after a fashion, don't ya think?

I like you, there's half a brain in there somewhere.

I like a man who pushes back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

Yeah, not really my style.

You need some practice?

at least your not saying I've got nice tits

I know, bit of a cliché after a fashion, don't ya think?

I like you, there's half a brain in there somewhere.

I like a man who pushes back

haha

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

They who snelt it dealt it.

That's very childish but, since it's you, have a gold star and run along and rejoin the class

lmfao! meow kitty has claws

That's alright - you can go and blow him

you first sweetheart

Yeah, not really my style.

You need some practice?

at least your not saying I've got nice tits

I know, bit of a cliché after a fashion, don't ya think?

I like you, there's half a brain in there somewhere.

I like a man who pushes back

haha "

*doffs bowler*

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By *isdirtygirlCouple
over a year ago

somewhere out there

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

Old people are always very handy if you need to fart in a crowded place like a Supermarket. Just stand behind them and let rip. People will always blame the wrinkley one!

Him

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

While my ex was going down on me. She wasn't happy (I was very relaxed ok)

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Last night in the steam room. Believe me, there is no such thing as a silent fart in a steam room

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

"Last night in the steam room. Believe me, there is no such thing as a silent fart in a steam room

You should try it when you're being 'pleasured' - it doesn't add to the ambience lol xx

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

I went to a tin mine in cornwall once, it was very claustrophobic and i had one brewing up. I didn't want to let it go down there so i held it in until the tour was over and we emerged at the other end. When we came out we were overlooking the tea room and childrens play area. By this time i couldn't keep it in any more, so i let it go. Now this particular guff wasn't your usual loud ripsnorter, but it was possibly the longest release of flatus i've ever committed to earths atmosphere and it was vile. So this hideous gas has moved across the tea room and play area with folk commenting on the nasty smell, but the best bit was the little boy at the top of the helter skelter when he shouted out in a cornish accent "corr, who's farted". I was fucking crying with laughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I farted I farted

I made a trouser cough

I whistled in my Y fronts

I've just peeled one off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try having IBS!

It stops being funny after a while especially in public or at work!

At home it's hilarious, I can out fart anyone

Anyone fancy a farting comp??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter farted at the cinema then said I JUST FARTED and everyone started laughing.....she was only about 3 and was unaware that everyone was laughing at her.....my son still mentions it now and again x

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

When out try hold it in but their times just happen say excuse me if people around .I remember my ex faring guy behind him said use your matter..he said so you don't fart he went manner I use found it funny ex pig no manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking around Speke Hall last year with our daughter, it was very quiet in one of the rooms, looking at all the interesting bits and bobs from the 1400s, little miss gave out the loudest knicker ripper I had ever heard and just continued walking as if she hadn't heard or done a thing, couldn't move for laughin, although some of the other people also in the room were not so amused

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I went to a tin mine in cornwall once, it was very claustrophobic and i had one brewing up. I didn't want to let it go down there so i held it in until the tour was over and we emerged at the other end. When we came out we were overlooking the tea room and childrens play area. By this time i couldn't keep it in any more, so i let it go. Now this particular guff wasn't your usual loud ripsnorter, but it was possibly the longest release of flatus i've ever committed to earths atmosphere and it was vile. So this hideous gas has moved across the tea room and play area with folk commenting on the nasty smell, but the best bit was the little boy at the top of the helter skelter when he shouted out in a cornish accent "corr, who's farted". I was fucking crying with laughter."

Hahaha. Love it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Walking around Speke Hall last year with our daughter, it was very quiet in one of the rooms, looking at all the interesting bits and bobs from the 1400s, little miss gave out the loudest knicker ripper I had ever heard and just continued walking as if she hadn't heard or done a thing, couldn't move for laughin, although some of the other people also in the room were not so amused

See now, we can learn a lot from children.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I farted I farted

I made a trouser cough

I whistled in my Y fronts

I've just peeled one off."

I'm gonna recite this later..very good.

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By *avewestcumbriaMan
over a year ago

Whitehaven

I once did a silent but deadly in class at school. The whole room honked. When teacher eventually found out it was me he kicked me out the class for quote “offending his nostrils“. Still can't believe how dramatic he was over it. Ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nell and I have embraced our farts for the comedy gold that they are. Every time either one of us floats an air biscuit we are duty bound to fist bump one another. We even have the kids doing it now.

#embracethetrump (not Donald).

Mrwho

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nell and I have embraced our farts for the comedy gold that they are. Every time either one of us floats an air biscuit we are duty bound to fist bump one another. We even have the kids doing it now.

#embracethetrump (not Donald).

Mrwho"

#trueLovedat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing tops a bath fart!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nothing tops a bath fart! "

True true!

Happy birthday to you by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing tops a bath fart! "

It's like being in your own personal mini jacuzzi.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

This thread has had me crying with laughter - thank you one and all xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nothing tops a bath fart!

It's like being in your own personal mini jacuzzi. "

EXACTLY!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 10 years ago, I was working in car sales. It was a Sunday morning after a pretty heavy Saturday night. I ended up having to do a test drive with an old couple that had called in on their way from church. As customary when it came to their turn to drive I sat in the back seat. It was a lovely warm day and I found myself nodding off as we ambled around the country roads. Re-entering suburbia, I was woken from my nap as we hit a speed bump. At this point I realised I really needed to fact and was trying desperately to hold it in. I held on manfully for about another two hundred yards until we hit the next speed bump. Noxious gasses quickly began to fill the car and the old lady in the front tried desperately to open a window. Unfortunately the power window was locked from the drivers side and he was concentrating on pulling out onto a busy road. Needless to say, I didn't sell the car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Due to a medical condition I am unable to trump standing up so when I lay down all hell breaks loose.

This isn't such a problem in everyday life as Mrs P has got used to the fanfare when I retire to bed.

But it gets to be a problem when we are going to a club or are meeting someone as I know I will be laying down at some point (hopefully)

To get over this I have to find an isolated space, often the back seat of our car, lay down and let myself go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Due to a medical condition I am unable to trump standing up so when I lay down all hell breaks loose.

This isn't such a problem in everyday life as Mrs P has got used to the fanfare when I retire to bed.

But it gets to be a problem when we are going to a club or are meeting someone as I know I will be laying down at some point (hopefully)

To get over this I have to find an isolated space, often the back seat of our car, lay down and let myself go.

Hold on, at the tea party, in the park, you were laying down on the grass, next to me.......

I thought that smell was the Thames......

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"My son farted really loudly in a carpark today then instantly turned to me and said even louder 'MUM'!!!!!!!

Pmsl!

As a mother of boys, I can relate to this!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

one of my brothers sat on my head as a child and farted on me.

I still hate him for that.

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny"

Do you have a rod up your arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For years the hubby M used to drink a stout drink which for now shall stay nameless. Every Thursday night was darts and he played for a local team with his best friend. Well of course they would drink to much of the noxious stuff and the hubby would come back and get in bed. If he wasn't working on a Friday daytime I'd make him get up with our son (when we only had one child) and I'd often come down a couple of hours later to find the hubby curled up on the sofa trumping away and our son either in his highchair asleep copying or on the sofa with his dad!!! The smell of the two of them was rotten and before we moved from that house after having our first daughter I made him get rid of the offensive smelling sofa. He was devastated lol x

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny

Do you have a rod up your arse?

About farting I do

I just don't like to breathe in other ppls gas that came out their ass. Isn't that fair enough?

Like posts about farting in lifts make me want to vomit

I wouldn't always comment about stuff that I don't like but the fact it just isn't funny needs commenting on IMO

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny"

Thanks for your input.

PARPS.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny

Do you have a rod up your arse?

About farting I do

I just don't like to breathe in other ppls gas that came out their ass. Isn't that fair enough?

Like posts about farting in lifts make me want to vomit

I wouldn't always comment about stuff that I don't like but the fact it just isn't funny needs commenting on IMO

It's what brings humans together.

We all break wind.

You can tell a lot about a person in how they react to a simple fart.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

you've annoyed me actually!

a fart, it causes more offence to some people than war.

some people have IBS or colitis.

This means they can't help farting.

I'd never shame another human for farting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Due to a medical condition I am unable to trump standing up so when I lay down all hell breaks loose.

This isn't such a problem in everyday life as Mrs P has got used to the fanfare when I retire to bed.

But it gets to be a problem when we are going to a club or are meeting someone as I know I will be laying down at some point (hopefully)

To get over this I have to find an isolated space, often the back seat of our car, lay down and let myself go.

Hold on, at the tea party, in the park, you were laying down on the grass, next to me.......

I thought that smell was the Thames......

This medical condition also means my emissions don't smell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope....my ass is a perfume factory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Campfire - Blazing Saddles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIP9KXdmO0"

I almost had to give my son cardiac massage because I though he was going to stop breathing he was laughing so much when he first saw that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny"

You're clearly not an immature twit like me then because I find it all funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering.

Bad daddy.

"
you bad man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've blamed the cat before lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've blamed the cat before lol

It was always the dog when I had one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plane. It was dreadful. Got recycled for hours. Blamed the kid in front.

One also popped out as an ex was going down on me. I still cringe now, when I think of it. Definitely the most embarrassing thing ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the company of Her Majesty. It was a silent but violent. But it lingered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny

Thanks for your input.

PARPS. "

Oi Markoh, did you fart in front of my wife?

I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realise it was her turn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Due to a medical condition I am unable to trump standing up so when I lay down all hell breaks loose.

This isn't such a problem in everyday life as Mrs P has got used to the fanfare when I retire to bed.

But it gets to be a problem when we are going to a club or are meeting someone as I know I will be laying down at some point (hopefully)

To get over this I have to find an isolated space, often the back seat of our car, lay down and let myself go.

Hold on, at the tea party, in the park, you were laying down on the grass, next to me.......

I thought that smell was the Thames......

This medical condition also means my emissions don't smell. "

You mean it WAS the Thames????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've blamed the cat before lol

It was always the dog when I had one! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Due to a medical condition I am unable to trump standing up so when I lay down all hell breaks loose.

This isn't such a problem in everyday life as Mrs P has got used to the fanfare when I retire to bed.

But it gets to be a problem when we are going to a club or are meeting someone as I know I will be laying down at some point (hopefully)

To get over this I have to find an isolated space, often the back seat of our car, lay down and let myself go.

Hold on, at the tea party, in the park, you were laying down on the grass, next to me.......

I thought that smell was the Thames......

This medical condition also means my emissions don't smell.

You mean it WAS the Thames????

Or maybe Mrs P.

( please don't tell her I said that )

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

"you've annoyed me actually!

a fart, it causes more offence to some people than war.

some people have IBS or colitis.

This means they can't help farting.

I'd never shame another human for farting.

You've annoyed me now too. What about the ppl who can't fart? How do you think they feel reading about your boasting about your healthy digestive system and free flowing flatulence

Have they not suffered enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you've annoyed me actually!

a fart, it causes more offence to some people than war.

some people have IBS or colitis.

This means they can't help farting.

I'd never shame another human for farting.

You've annoyed me now too. What about the ppl who can't fart? How do you think they feel reading about your boasting about your healthy digestive system and free flowing flatulence

Have they not suffered enough

They can eat beans.

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

I was always uptight about ppl farting around me. And I never done it around anyone. Even as a kid

My mate in school was laughing at me saying there was something wrong with me that I never farted. I jokingly told him I never have farted in my life. He believed me because in 10 years of being my mate he never heard me fart and thought this was the funniest thing ever,as he was breaking his ass laughing at me I was holding a fart in,I spend my fucking life holding farts in

,and I said ah fuck it just this once and I let a fucking ripper and I screamed "ah Johnny my first fart"

He nearly died laughing. Still does if I mention my first ever fart to him

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

"you've annoyed me actually!

a fart, it causes more offence to some people than war.

some people have IBS or colitis.

This means they can't help farting.

I'd never shame another human for farting.

Actually now that you mention it a ibs sufferer would be more embarrassed by your reaction of laughing than my reaction of ignoring. Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 16:30:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny"

Thinks the shit will hit the fan with this one!

PAAAAAAARP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny"

I believe you may be an alien. Farts are funny to real humans!

MrWho

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you've annoyed me actually!

a fart, it causes more offence to some people than war.

some people have IBS or colitis.

This means they can't help farting.

I'd never shame another human for farting.

Actually now that you mention it a ibs sufferer would be more embarrassed by your reaction of laughing than my reaction of ignoring. Just saying

Where did I say I'd laugh at an ibs sufferer?

jaysus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm known to rip one at the gym when doing abs exercises or on the treadmill for that little extra boost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever farted at the most inappropriate time?

I did today in a crowded lift.

I totally blamed the elderly woman opposite.

Doesn't surprise me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone farts round my granddaughter, I get the blame, even when I'm not around!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MY daughter was messing around the other night before bed and I farted on her head.

I thought it comedy gold.

She cried.

I couldn't even apologise 'cos I kept on sniggering. Ah jesus poor wain hahaha

Bad daddy.

"
aw poor wain lol my daughter farts on me all the time and has a right we giggle after wards lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all find coughing funny? Sneezing funny?

I don't find farting funny. And I definitely done find someone farting in my presence funny

I believe you may be an alien. Farts are funny to real humans!

MrWho"
lmao good one

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