FabSwingers.com forum: Mental illness

By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

Inspired by the CBT thread, I'm curious to know what your _iews are on mental illness in swinging. For example, if someone you were chatting to on here felt they should be upfront with you about their mental illness, what would your reaction be?

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here?

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I don't see it as any different to any other illness. If it will affect the meet it should be declared, if not then it is your own private business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't consider anyone's health my business, unless it affected anything. Which i'm sure most of the time it wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 in 4 of us will suffer at some point in our lives, others may have a longer term diagnosis - just as with physical health we all have a scale of wellness and potential to be unwell, and there are those with a specific diagnosis. However, someone can have an ongoing diagnosis and be well functioning with it (be it via meds, support systems or therapy etc) and someone else can be acutely unwell and low functioning. The same as a physical health condition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing that bothers me personally is cluster b personalities, they're dangerous and i do look out for them or any hint of them in people.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive never hidden mine, but i dont break my neck to tell them. Usually if its someone im getting to know they ask me and i explain how it affects me and they often ask if there is anything they can do.

When i was a lot worse and couldnt go places on my own you wouldnt believe what people did to help me get to socials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/08/16 00:36:40]

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By *rebor1955Man
over a year ago

Bristol

What is a cluster b personality?

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

"The only thing that bothers me personally is cluster b personalities, they're dangerous and i do look out for them or any hint of them in people."

Has that ever affected your meeting people on here (or outside of here) if you suspected they might have an illness in that category?

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

"What is a cluster b personality?"

Just did a google search of it myself:

"Cluster B is called the dramatic, emotional, and erratic cluster. It includes:

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing that bothers me personally is cluster b personalities, they're dangerous and i do look out for them or any hint of them in people."

What are they? What is my personality cos I'm an absolute mess like. I take things so personally and hard and then dwell and I obsess about things. Does my head in like.

To answer the op if I found someone on here that I liked and fancied I wouldn't really care about their mental illness (psychopath with intention to harm excluded) I would like to think I could cure or at least help them by loving them and making them feel important.

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Ive never hidden mine, but i dont break my neck to tell them. Usually if its someone im getting to know they ask me and i explain how it affects me and they often ask if there is anything they can do.

When i was a lot worse and couldnt go places on my own you wouldnt believe what people did to help me get to socials"

I'm glad you've had people willing to help you out and that you're a lot better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing that bothers me personally is cluster b personalities, they're dangerous and i do look out for them or any hint of them in people.

What are they? What is my personality cos I'm an absolute mess like. I take things so personally and hard and then dwell and I obsess about things. Does my head in like.

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage.

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage."

Do you not think they could get better and learn to control their behaviours? Perhaps at the very least be aware of their behaviours and work with a partner (or partners) to make a relationship work with all aware of potential behaviours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage.

With other people, possibly they could change if they wanted to. Part of the problem is me as well, in that i was brought up by a damaging parent who groomed me to accept abuse. I have spent years working on myself because of this.

I know my definite sociopath ex is doing much better since his disgnosis years ago. But i also suspect he would continue to treat me like shit for the rest of his life if i let him back into my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Inspired by the CBT thread, I'm curious to know what your _iews are on mental illness in swinging. For example, if someone you were chatting to on here felt they should be upfront with you about their mental illness, what would your reaction be?

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here? "

I've been sectioned under the Mental Health Eight Year's ago and was taking Anti Depressant's and Anti Phycotics and was seeing a C.P.N. (community Phychriatic Nurse) a lot of My Family Members are also Sectioned too!I'm in General Population and ok now I was Discharged from Mental Health 18 Months ago.

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage.

I know my definite sociopath ex is doing much better since his disgnosis years ago. But i also suspect he would continue to treat me like shit for the rest of his life if i let him back into my life."

I'm sorry to hear about the upbringing

You seem like a person with their head firmly on their shoulders. Keep on with the self-work - seems like you're on the right path

I can understand what you mean about the "cannot function without" bit, but would you extend that to all cluster B people, or just those in circumstances where those individuals aren't able to indulge their behaviour?

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By *edRapscallion OP Man
over a year ago

London

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here?

Excellent stuff. Keep up the good work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was a lot worse and couldnt go places on my own you wouldnt believe what people did to help me get to socials"

You are one of the strongest people ive ever met. Our frienship means so much to me the mental illness has no bearing on it. You make me feel proud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone that suffers with this, for longer than I can remember may I add, I will never judge nor will I care if someone else had mental health problems.

I do tell people I get talking to about some of the issues I have because it actually stops me from meeting at times. It can be a pain but I won't be who I am if it hadn't of happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage.

I know my definite sociopath ex is doing much better since his disgnosis years ago. But i also suspect he would continue to treat me like shit for the rest of his life if i let him back into my life.

I'm sorry to hear about the upbringing

You seem like a person with their head firmly on their shoulders. Keep on with the self-work - seems like you're on the right path

My past isn't a part of my now or future so i'm almost ok. And i finally made an appointment with the doctor this week to sort out my PTSD. So i too have a disorder as you can see and kind of get that disorders are a part of what makes you, you, and you can't help being the way you are.

I would say most people with cluster b disorders are quite capable of functioning without causing harm, i suppose it depends mostly on whether they get something from hurting others or not and need to feel that something that they get from it. Hope that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here?

Excellent stuff. Keep up the good work!

Thank You Very Much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do tell people I get talking to about some of the issues I have because it actually stops me from meeting at times. It can be a pain but I won't be who I am if it hadn't of happened. "

So true - there will be qualities about myself that I'd worry about losing sight of without having experienced the more difficult stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do tell people I get talking to about some of the issues I have because it actually stops me from meeting at times. It can be a pain but I won't be who I am if it hadn't of happened.

So true - there will be qualities about myself that I'd worry about losing sight of without having experienced the more difficult stuff."

I, personally, wouldn't change it for the world. It's been tough, a lot of tears, pain and suffering, but I have learnt a lot from it all. Silver linings to everything.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Mental illness covers a whole host of issues, with different aspects, consequences and effects on others. We are all somewhere on the spectrum. I wouldn't expect someone to declare it as an issue unless it had the potential to affect a play meet, just in the same way as any other health issue. If for any reason I didn't feel comfortable or click with a person, I wouldn't play, whether it related to mental well being or anything else.

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By *eeeee7Woman
over a year ago

over yonder

"What is a cluster b personality?

Just did a google search of it myself:

"Cluster B is called the dramatic, emotional, and erratic cluster. It includes:

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder."

"
no I wouldn't meet someone with that kind of disorder

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm here for no strings, uncomplicated, sexual high jinks. If an illness or disability is going to affect the meet then I'm not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here? "

If your asking was i worried about a meet, knowing or not knowing they had MH problems in fear of my life, no.

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

I am really touched by all the honesty in this thread, it's amazing there is such a stigma to mental ill health and threads like this do a lot to break it, you are all doing amazingly just helps sometimes being honest about how we feel.

One poster aptly put that that there is such a spectrum and wider range and the different way that illness affects people and meds ect. Anxiety can cripple some people so much that they can't leave the house, whereas many people have bi polar or schizophrenia and respond well to treatment and so so to say no to a meet because of mental ill health as a label seems to further label mental illness to me. Like with any potential meet, click, fancy, connection = meet

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

On a wider theme, considering the prevalence of mental illness in society now, is this something you take into consideration when meeting anyone from here? "

I used to be a mental health professional, so I'm au fait with diagnoses and symptoms.

Does it bother me? No.

Does that give you a passport to behave like an arsehole? No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I suffer with borderline personality disorder so I am a cluster b personality. I am no danger to anyone other than myself should an episode occur (which due to CBT hasn't happened for over a year). I have complete control of my condition and hubby is amazing at picking up when I'm edging towards an episode. I would hate to think just because I have a condition that people wouldn't want to meet me. If I was having an episode it goes without saying that I would meet someone (I would struggle to get out of bed let alone anything else).

If I wasnt open with my condition (it's not that common and most people think it's something that it's not) then you wouldn't even know that I have it so to be judged for having a mental illness that most people have no clue about is kinda wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have depression, anxiety and PTSD problems. PTSD can effect me in "intimate" situations so I've always forewarned anyone that I might become intimate with, on and off Fab, and all of those people have thankfully been very understanding.

If it didn't effect me sexually I wouldn't make such a deal about it with potential sexual partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the main it wouldn't bother me. If someone is feeling especially low though I won't meet for sex because it will do neither of us any good. Coffee and hugs of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have bi polar disorder and most people who know me are aware of it as i am very open about it n its a running joke with friends at cupids when i get a bit giddy coz we laugh about me havin me kerry katona head on but i dont think i need to tell eveyone i meet right off the bat n as i would only meet in cupids bruce n yona would n have said hun your too giddy to be here if they felt i was really unwell n it was a possible problem for me or others

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

Sorry i should've added disorders to that. This means they cannot function in a way without causing harm.

Socoipath mainly, i've had a relationship with at least one now and suspect my last relationship was with one also, they've caused me a lot of damage.

It's very unlikely. By the time you realise it's mostly completely ingrained. It's very very difficult to change your inherent personality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As one other poster said , we are here for sexual fun and high jinks , and that's it . So if a mental disorder affects that , we aren't interested at all .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I didn't have one.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Yes we would take it into consideration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dangers are that people will take advantage of those with mental illness and vice a versa, you have to be a strong person to deal with some issue found within swinging, regardless of having a mental illness or not, if not you could do things you are not fully happy about doing, having a mental illness dose not mean you can't still live a fully and happy life.

Dom & sum relationship can help people with mental illness as this can give them a stable and controlled world to live in, like with people on the autistic spectrum, having that set routine and odder to the day is a big help.

Having a mental illness should not define who you are or who you become at long as you can get the right help when it's needed and as for telling others, honesty is the best policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the severity tbh.

For example if someone suffers from depression. Then it's non of my damn business.

However if someone is a paranoid schizophrenic with violent tendencies. Then yes I would most certainly like to know.

The problem is at what point do you dictate that others should be informed?

Difficult. But I would have thought that anything that means you could be of harm to yourself or others thenyout of common courtesy you should inform the person wanting to meet you.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think too many share their vulnerabilities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think too many share their vulnerabilities.

It's great for deciding who not to meet.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I think too many share their vulnerabilities.

It's great for deciding who not to meet. "

Very true

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I think too many share their vulnerabilities.

this..

absolutely a believer in that talking may help for some of those who need it and not enough (especially men) do so but there are places..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be a bit taken a back if someone we just met was so up front. We'd respect their honesty but we'd wonder at their reasons for saying. I've struggled a lot with anxiety and depression so know the feeling. We'd be concerned about some how taking advantage of some one in a bad place at that moment in time due to their mental health. I've been through it myself so it can severely diminish your ability to think clearly and think things through. Which could make swinging risky and damaging.

It's why over the 12 years we've been swinging we've had frequent breaks from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex had schizophrenia so lived closely with it and I now work within mental health.

Its such a wide scale and I don't think it would bother me so much if I knew about it,you can still want to live a normal life and suffer some kind of mental illness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would be a bit taken a back if someone we just met was so up front. We'd respect their honesty but we'd wonder at their reasons for saying. I've struggled a lot with anxiety and depression so know the feeling. We'd be concerned about some how taking advantage of some one in a bad place at that moment in time due to their mental health. I've been through it myself so it can severely diminish your ability to think clearly and think things through. Which could make swinging risky and damaging.

It's why over the 12 years we've been swinging we've had frequent breaks from it. "

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I posted something similar a few months back on a similar topic - I as well suffered from mental illness issues which were mainly attributed to work, and while I am open about it, it occurred over 3 years ago and doesn't impact my swinging, if someone didn't want to meet me because of it that's fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally wouldn't care as long as they weren't violent and it wasn't going to impact me negatively.

I have a good understanding of psychological problems so I hope I wouldn't be judgemental in any way.

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