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for men! in all seriousness

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

It doesn't bother me that Mrs C is a swinger, nor how many people she has had sex with- it's twice as many as me as she does the men and the women as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be true to yourself.

If somebody loves you for you then your past sex life should be irrelevant. If somebody didn't accept me for me they wouldn't be worth having imo.

Belle xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, past doesn't matter. Everybody has one.

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By *exiliciousmeMan
over a year ago

liverpool

The past is the past the future is the future.

Makes no difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could argue it's a compliment if after many lovers you settle with one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he doesnt know what hes talking about if u meet someone the right guy will understand and take u for who u are u never know he might be interested in the lifestyle too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The past is the past the future is the future.

Makes no difference "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't listen to him, listen to yourself. I have thought about it and I would only want a relationship with a man who is also enjoying this lifestyle.

Do what makes you happy.

XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knkoknkow he's your mate and all, but he could do with removing that stick from up his ass, fuck me, did he say you wouldn't have much of a chance to marry well if you have family living in cheaspsides? Is he Victorian?, I font know how men live their lives not Bering able to handle strong independent women, oh yeah I do, they paint them as the whore of Babylon for expressing any kind of interest in sex.

If anyone has a problem with your past, they front deserve to be part of your future, end of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt want a realtionship with anyone on this site and hopefully they wouldnt want me either!

And if i wasnt a fabster myself and found out you had been it would be really really off putting, just being honest...id keep it a secret!

However if i found someone from this site and got into a relationship .....it could be great!!! Hehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Past is just that... PAST!

If someone truly liked you, your sexual past shouldn't be an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't listen to him, listen to yourself. I have thought about it and I would only want a relationship with a man who is also enjoying this lifestyle.

Do what makes you happy.

XXX"

I'm with you on that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be true to yourself.

If somebody loves you for you then your past sex life should be irrelevant. If somebody didn't accept me for me they wouldn't be worth having imo.

Belle xx"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have a past and have probably done things we aren't proud of at some point. As long as the other person is honest and open about their past then that's fine in my books!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Brutally honest, some guys wpuld be put off. Only if they find out about this early on. If they know you as a person, and have feelings for you. This would help the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've often wondered this too, having come off the dating scene after a heartbreak, but then staying around because I found I love the swinging lifestyle. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, "slut shaming" (I really hate that term. I am sexually liberated which does NOT make me a slut) is still alive and well, and many vanilla men, in my opinion, will see swinging ladies as "easy". Pisses me off!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all have a past and have probably done things we aren't proud of at some point. As long as the other person is honest and open about their past then that's fine in my books! "

What if you have done things that some people would be ashamed of, but you're really really proud of?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imo to be honest it does not matter how many sexual partners you have had...desire and attraction is a killer and will always be no matter how 'committed' you are.

Call me a cynic but everyone shags around as it is nature to sometimes fall for attraction if everything is in line to happen..some are stronger willed in some situations and weaker in other visa versa..

so in my opinion it doesnt matter

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I met my partner on here, unexpectedly, so not your standard viewpoint. However I've been on here for 5 years whereas he'd been on about 6 months. In our lifetimes I have had sex with considerably more people than him. But it doesn't matter or make a difference, all that matters is now and how we feel about each other. Hopefully if a relationship is what you want, you can find someone who isn't fazed by the lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't listen to him, listen to yourself. I have thought about it and I would only want a relationship with a man who is also enjoying this lifestyle.

Do what makes you happy.

XXX

I'm with you on that one "

Me too!

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Wouldn't bother me at all I have a past to so same question to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've often wondered this too, having come off the dating scene after a heartbreak, but then staying around because I found I love the swinging lifestyle. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, "slut shaming" (I really hate that term. I am sexually liberated which does NOT make me a slut) is still alive and well, and many vanilla men, in my opinion, will see swinging ladies as "easy". Pisses me off!!! "

If swinging ladies were easy, there would be no " why can't I get a meet" threads at all lol

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

I'm sorry to inform you hut he's has been rather truthful with you muot vanilla men will not understand your life choices before you met them and to such guys your past will be a stumbling block many will not get over .

My advice keep your past to yourself in your future vanilla dating days .

I know this goes against what a lot will say on here but lets be honest here a swinging lifestyle is only excepted by swingers .

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

Surely it's not about your past but the future you and your partner build together. You never who you could end up with.

Maybe you could even swing together!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't listen to him, listen to yourself. I have thought about it and I would only want a relationship with a man who is also enjoying this lifestyle.

Do what makes you happy.

XXX

I'm with you on that one

Me too!"

Ooh and from Solihull too

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Thank you everyone I will keep this in mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best thing would be to meet someone else who is into swinging and then you won't have to give up the lifestyle you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before joining fab it might of put me off a little, But my eyes and mind have opened up a little since then, I'm not even sure I would want to carry on with this lifestyle if I found someone to settle down with, Finding a partner who has a similar sex drive as me would be a bonus

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What right has your mate to speak for all men.

I wouldnt even want to be with someone that judged me on any part of my past.

Its 2016

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Some people come with the 'swinger for life, once a swinger always a swinger' outlook whilst some dont. One of those could probably be trusted/relied upon to hold down a serious non swinging vanilla relationship whilst the other, probably not unless swinging was a key part of it.

The same for the lads as it is for girls and it depends what relationship the two halves want, could juggle and be happy with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't listen to him, listen to yourself. I have thought about it and I would only want a relationship with a man who is also enjoying this lifestyle.

Do what makes you happy.

XXX

I'm with you on that one

Me too!

Ooh and from Solihull too "

Lol I know, I've just read your profile and come over all unnecessary xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

It's really no one else's business about your past life if you meet someone new.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Jst to clarify he was jst looking out for me he is quite protective of me so it wasn't done to be hurtful

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

The ladies always have more partners than men you shouldn't worry I like to hear stories from my wife and I tell her some to and we have been together for 18 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it all comes down to the guys personal confidence.

At the end of the day, you shouldn't want to change your past to suit a new partner, they either take you as you are or walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, You are asking for opinions from people who are on fab, 90% are going to say, "Don't worry about it" "If he doesn't understand he's not for you" etc

Ask the same question on a non sexual forum and you will get different opinions on the subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I appreciate your friend looking out for you I disagree with him. You should be proud of who you are, not ashamed. Sure we've all made mistakes but those are the things that make us who we are today. It is those things that are the fabric, our DNA in a way. If any future partner cannot accept those things you'd have to question if they are worth being with.

As people have already said, I think you should do what. Ages you happy.

The only slight mitigating factor to this view is that I also enjoy the scene so is my view clouded because I'm comfortable with the lifestyle already?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are men for whom it will be a massive issue. There are men for whom it will be less of an issue and who may deal with it despite not liking it. And there are men who will actively fetishise it and enjoy it.

I tended to fall into the middle camp. My preference was for a partner with a reasonable amount of experience, but not taking the piss. Somewhere between half as many previous partners as me, and 10-20 more. So long as they were honest about it that's fine. But if I found out they had been dishonest about their past we would have a problem.

Trouble is, that policy was abused. Accepted the past of my ex who claimed a PP count of 66. Thought it was a little high, but it's within 10 of mine now (not at the time) so it was fine.

66 became 1867. So to be frank these days I accept everyone lies about their past, and I don't generally ask. Because I care less about the answer than I do about presenting them with an opportunity for dishonesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, You are asking for opinions from people who are on fab, 90% are going to say, "Don't worry about it" "If he doesn't understand he's not for you" etc

Ask the same question on a non sexual forum and you will get different opinions on the subject"

Exactly this. You're asking the wrong audience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

This is the 21st century where women should be free to have and enjoy sex. So how many partners you have had previously is irrelevant. What is important is that you can talk openly and freely about all subjects with your partner.

A bit of advice I was once given was: 'If you can't wank comfortably in front of your partner, the relationship is probably doomed in the long term'.

Hope that helps

Q

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really as long as you don't keep talking about it as if you were nostalgia of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jst to clarify he was jst looking out for me he is quite protective of me so it wasn't done to be hurtful "

Join a convent.

Pray solidly for 3 years whilst bathing in holy water at 5am every day.

Ah in all seriousness, don't negotiate the real you for love.

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By *pal2Man
over a year ago

cumbria

Wht try to be something that you arent and hide your past from someone. If you do and they disaapprove of your past then theyre probably not the right person for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any man worth his weight would love you for who you are regardless of your past

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Just live your life however you want to...

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. If you want to get back into the swing of things before settling down, crack on

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

Why should it bother anyone. I've heard there are people that worry about someone's past but in all honesty it's now the 21st century it's time to leave the crap behind. I'd sooner have a partner who was honest about her past though it really is nothing to do with me. I'd also sooner have a partner with an open mind and a liberal attitude to life.

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By *carlet_heavenWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the sticks

Sounds like your friend has a common affliction of being a tactless male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldnt want a realtionship with anyone on this site and hopefully they wouldnt want me either!

And if i wasnt a fabster myself and found out you had been it would be really really off putting, just being honest...id keep it a secret!

However if i found someone from this site and got into a relationship .....it could be great!!! Hehehe "

I don't understand your logic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't discuss my past with someone I met in the real world. If he's hung up on it he'll possibly make my life miserable with his jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

People think we all think alike, so the people who think you'd stray just because you've been in the lifestyle are the people who WOULD do that themselves or are so insecure they aren't worth your time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand the guys talking about making mistakes?? This lifestyle is consensual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally it wouldn't bother me even if I hadn't been on the scene.

We ALL have a past and that where it belongs. In the past.

Personally now I would like to find a partner who is and will continue to enjoy this lifestyle.

This is after all a choice. Anyone do t like it knows what they can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, You are asking for opinions from people who are on fab, 90% are going to say, "Don't worry about it" "If he doesn't understand he's not for you" etc

Ask the same question on a non sexual forum and you will get different opinions on the subject"

I agree with this. Most if not all of us will defend this lifestyle and say he has no right to ask or even know about the past. Ask the vanilla world, am guessing you'd get a totally different answer.

It's a hard one (excuse the pun).

Hope you find that special one.

.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You'd probably not be interested in such guys who would judge you that way, I'm assuming. Meet honest and open minded guys, where you both may or may not swing in future - though there is a bigger pool of guys who've never done swinging.

Consider how you'll discover and filter for guys with a non-judgemental attitude.

In the meantime, consider living your life each and every day just for you, to your values.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a male buuuuuut...I hit triple figures by the age of 19. My other half is still counting on one hand. He knows the truth and, if anything, likes it! If someone is going to judge you on your number of partners or experiences they aren't worth it.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

I've had similar answers in the vanilla world to be honest, they say past is past if a man loves me he will accept me etc etc

But it made me wander on the fab opinions

Because of this lifestyle I am now the most open minded I have ever been. I didn't believe in cheating/one night stands/multiple partners/ etc etc

Now I believe that as long as honesty and safety is involved its ok for those involved

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Why did you stop? If any harm has been done its too damn late and you might as well carry on enjoying yourself.

I think you should decide what "you" want based on how you hope your life to pan out and the type of man you would eventually like to meet not on what your friend thinks or what we think. There are a lot of men including some members of fab who still believe that women shouldn't enjoy sex unless in a traditional relationship and those that do are somehow diminished or not good relationship material and I think they're best off pairing up with women who feel the same way. Don't take on your friends values or ours, establish your own and you will have no problem abiding by them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're asking the wrong people. Guys on here are far more open minded than those from dating sites so although many here have said it wouldn't matter, sadly in the "real" world it would.

I'd be looking here if I were single then you get the best of both worlds, problem solved.

There are more men on Fab looking for LTRs than on POF...on POF they pretend they do but just want a shag...go figure! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're asking the wrong people. Guys on here are far more open minded than those from dating sites so although many here have said it wouldn't matter, sadly in the "real" world it would.

I'd be looking here if I were single then you get the best of both worlds, problem solved.

There are more men on Fab looking for LTRs than on POF...on POF they pretend they do but just want a shag...go figure! X"

So true

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

If he loves you, it won't matter.

In the last series of Sherlock, John Watson said to his Mrs

"Your past is your concern, your future is my privilege"

It stuck in my mind because I couldn't put it any better.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you're asking the wrong people. Guys on here are far more open minded than those from dating sites so although many here have said it wouldn't matter, sadly in the "real" world it would.

I'd be looking here if I were single then you get the best of both worlds, problem solved.

There are more men on Fab looking for LTRs than on POF...on POF they pretend they do but just want a shag...go figure! X"

I don't think many people on here are truly open minded . I do agree that lots of men and women are looking for long term relationships though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he loves you, it won't matter.

In the last series of Sherlock, John Watson said to his Mrs

"Your past is your concern, your future is my privilege"

It stuck in my mind because I couldn't put it any better."

That's lovely!!xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op I'll give you my honest opinion.

If I met a woman and she told me honestly about her past it won't bother me at all. BUT if said woman lied and hid her past from me then it will put me off. Honesty wins for me.

Just be yourself, might be hard but that way you're more honest to yourself and you out the wrong men. And you'll be more confident and comfortable.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As pp's have said, people who judge you for this lifestyle aren't worth your attention. And I don't agree with keeping it hidden at all. The best thing about a meaningful relationship is being able to be your best and worst self and still be cherished. Trust and honesty are vital for a good relationship, and hiding things from my past would make me feel constantly on edge. What if they found out from a 3rd party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he loves you, it won't matter.

In the last series of Sherlock, John Watson said to his Mrs

"Your past is your concern, your future is my privilege"

It stuck in my mind because I couldn't put it any better."

What beautiful words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions

I'm sorry to inform you hut he's has been rather truthful with you muot vanilla men will not understand your life choices before you met them and to such guys your past will be a stumbling block many will not get over .

My advice keep your past to yourself in your future vanilla dating days .

I know this goes against what a lot will say on here but lets be honest here a swinging lifestyle is only excepted by swingers ."

Most guys would be put off.

I won't be telling anyone I want to date anything at all about my past. It's none of their business.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Never be ashamed of your past. Whilst it was the present, you thought you was making the right choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about the ladies, just for balance, would it bother you if your fella was a man how back in the day?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I seriously cant believe the prehistoric views on this thread, i never met a guy with these views over 30 years ago. Ive been open and honest in every relationship and its never put anyone of yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a guy on here and we clicked in a big way, had LOTS of fun together. He was looking for a relationship and I guess I was too. One day he actually said to me that if he had met me on a different website he would have took me out for a date, but there's no way he would given my 'lifestyle'

Safe to say I never agreed to meet him again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

If it is something you want and the guy doesn't accept it and your not prepared to change for him then he is not the one for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seriously cant believe the prehistoric views on this thread, i never met a guy with these views over 30 years ago. Ive been open and honest in every relationship and its never put anyone of yet"

Having a view that a Woman who has had a lot of sexual partners is wrong and does belong in the past but I read the op as would someone judge you for having or still in a swinging lifestyle, As swinging isn't main stream and I don't think it will ever be, A lot of people will judge you for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about the ladies, just for balance, would it bother you if your fella was a man how back in the day? "

It wouldn't bother me. I'd wonder what the fuck he saw in me though.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"I knkoknkow he's your mate and all, but he could do with removing that stick from up his ass, fuck me, did he say you wouldn't have much of a chance to marry well if you have family living in cheaspsides? Is he Victorian?, I font know how men live their lives not Bering able to handle strong independent women, oh yeah I do, they paint them as the whore of Babylon for expressing any kind of interest in sex.

If anyone has a problem with your past, they front deserve to be part of your future, end of "

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"What about the ladies, just for balance, would it bother you if your fella was a man how back in the day? "
i would hope he was still, cant be doing with sexless relationships...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he loves you, it won't matter.

In the last series of Sherlock, John Watson said to his Mrs

"Your past is your concern, your future is my privilege"

It stuck in my mind because I couldn't put it any better.

What beautiful words "

Agree

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What about the ladies, just for balance, would it bother you if your fella was a man how back in the day? "

I wouldn't put it like that but it didn't bother me that Mr N had an "interesting" past and it didn't bother him that I had.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I seriously cant believe the prehistoric views on this thread, i never met a guy with these views over 30 years ago. Ive been open and honest in every relationship and its never put anyone of yet

Having a view that a Woman who has had a lot of sexual partners is wrong and does belong in the past but I read the op as would someone judge you for having or still in a swinging lifestyle, As swinging isn't main stream and I don't think it will ever be, A lot of people will judge you for it"
err i was swinging 30 years ago, i had to be honest ny sex life is who i am. If they had chosen to walk away fair play but none did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seriously cant believe the prehistoric views on this thread, i never met a guy with these views over 30 years ago. Ive been open and honest in every relationship and its never put anyone of yet

Having a view that a Woman who has had a lot of sexual partners is wrong and does belong in the past but I read the op as would someone judge you for having or still in a swinging lifestyle, As swinging isn't main stream and I don't think it will ever be, A lot of people will judge you for it"

A lot of men on here judge women for it. Which makes me wonder what they actually think of the women they are meeting,on here. I'm not talking about compatibility either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people on here won't meet someone with more than 5 verifications. It's like they want to be special to someone who is nothing to them but sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My past is my past and no one else's business. if a guy got hung up on it then he certainly wouldn't be someone I would continue to be involved with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

It totally depends on the guy .

The majority that we have met would hate the fact that their partner had a swinging background . And unless the guy you hook up with is a swinger , then it's pointless asking us for our opinion really .

Fact is that the vast majority of single guys who are looking to settle down would be very down on an ex swinger .

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

I like to believe that anyone I met would take me for who I am or move along,

I am an honest person, dont think id hide it from a potential partner

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

If you were to go and look for a relationship away from fab surely the guy wouldn't expect you to say you'd been celibate until you met him

Rational thought would be that you haven't lived as a nun so does it or should it even matter how you enjoyed yourself! ?

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By *ormula1111Man
over a year ago

birmingham/oxford

Well I would put the counter view yes it matters.

Its hypocritical yes. Past is past if but if he excepts it and wants it to stop it means delete profile no text resonses no meets all history.

I've been end means end not "it doesn't mean anything"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything you have ever done has made you the person you are right now. If you hadn't had those experiences you would be different..if someone loves you as you are right now then they have to accept everything that has made you the version of you stood in front of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/16 18:53:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah it would bother me tbh

i think it`d be easier if you were with

someone who shares or has shared the same interests and experiences, especially when we`re talking swinging/sex site hook ups

just be upfront with anyone you get with and see how they handle it. better than it coming out at some point further down the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Personally I think your asking the wrong men

Men in here aren't going to judge you for doing this as they are doing it too

I think the opinion of people off this site isn't going o be the same as people in it

Secondly I'd be telling my mate to bugger off and mind his own, has he not though you may not want to settle down? Not everybody wants or has the need to be in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cant change your past but you can shape your future how you want it to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men might find it daunting, as in men who don't have much experience with sex. Maybe people who have only had a few partners because they think that's the right Thing to do and attach all sorts of weird associations to sexual intercourse. People who maybe find it hard to have discussions about their wants and desires outside of the bedroom.

It wouldn't bother me and in fact I'd be looking to meet someone that is into this lifestyle as its what I want to be doing. I'm very comfortable with who I am now that I'd need someone to be understandable about the lifestyle as I'm bi so a woman although I could love her deeply is not gonna scratch my every itch so to speak.

You should do whatever makes you happy and if you find a guy that doesn't like it then you can deal with that when it comes, maybe he's not the right guy. Or maybe you decide to be with him and stop playing. Long as your honest about things it shouldn't be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, You are asking for opinions from people who are on fab, 90% are going to say, "Don't worry about it" "If he doesn't understand he's not for you" etc

Ask the same question on a non sexual forum and you will get different opinions on the subject

Exactly this. You're asking the wrong audience. "

Due to the peculiarity of what we do most swingers believe that swinging behaviour is acceptable to most of society. I am not sure it is.

Unless you are planning to go out with a swinger the question should be put to non-swinging people and see their response. Although your past would be your past and no indicator of future behaviour some people would say a leopard does not change its spots.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Most people on here are going to say it doesn't matter.

Being totally honest, I think if you were to ask the same question to non-swinging people, then I think you'd get a different answer from alot of men and women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

your lifestyle choice would be a positive for me, if I were single. And i know only one of my mates would have an issue with it, but he's really insecure and shallow. 1 out of 6. But the other 5 would be REALLY enthusiastic about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions

Most people on here are going to say it doesn't matter.

Being totally honest, I think if you were to ask the same question to non-swinging people, then I think you'd get a different answer from alot of men and women.

"

as a non-swinger that ass is making me question myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, You are asking for opinions from people who are on fab, 90% are going to say, "Don't worry about it" "If he doesn't understand he's not for you" etc

Ask the same question on a non sexual forum and you will get different opinions on the subject

Exactly this. You're asking the wrong audience.

Due to the peculiarity of what we do most swingers believe that swinging behaviour is acceptable to most of society. I am not sure it is.

Unless you are planning to go out with a swinger the question should be put to non-swinging people and see their response. Although your past would be your past and no indicator of future behaviour some people would say a leopard does not change its spots.

"

Exactly what I would say.

This is totally the wrong forum for an impartial answer.

Be true you yourself and be 100% honest. If the other person judges it's up to you whether you like them enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been on vanilla dates and taken a risk and mentioned a swinging past and it's never gone down well, one guy did tell me to my face he wouldn't date me because he'd never be able to trust me I don't mention it now

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No, if I were in the market for a long term partner I would prefer it if she was a swinger and had sex with other people as well as me.

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions

I'm sorry to inform you hut he's has been rather truthful with you muot vanilla men will not understand your life choices before you met them and to such guys your past will be a stumbling block many will not get over .

My advice keep your past to yourself in your future vanilla dating days .

I know this goes against what a lot will say on here but lets be honest here a swinging lifestyle is only excepted by swingers ."

I think this is pretty accurate... Most (vanilla) guys don't want to think about sexual encounters their partners may of had.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Tough one as different courses for different horses. I wouldn't personally want to settle with someone that has fucked half the country as I haven't so I would want to give a potential partner someone not too used (me) and would expect the same. I actually don't get off with having hundreds of sexual partners, probably because I still think sex is an intimate thing rather than a 5min fuck and go like most on here but that's just me.

You won't struggle to find someone. Get someone off here then you can both continue to sleep with lots of people I guess.

It's funny because most guys on here that have closet girlfriends would never allow their GF's to be on here and be fucked by hundreds of men....double standards, do as I say not as I do hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all i wound be joining in hun x

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Despite being married three times & a "little" older than H she has had more relationships, I wasn't that bothered about sex when younger oddly. It's not something either of us are bothered about tbh.

x

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Darling enjoy your life..... It's forever changing .... Sex, eating ... Breathing is part of this life ..... How wonderful that you are skilled from your encounters and a future partner, if you choose to take one or even two.... Will have the beautiful benefit of a talented strong independent woman who knows how to enjoy herself.

When selecting a partner is it necessary to request a resume of past encounters ???? A woman needs a few little secrets anyway

Be safe and happy

X

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By *ockster69Man
over a year ago

Leven

We all have a past, that said, I've been on here for 3 years and reckon 10% of my sex life has been as a result of this site! I appreciate its probably easier for females to get male meets, maybe perspective partners should be looking at it as valuable experience!!!! Every cloud!

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Thank you eveyone

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey


"Darling enjoy your life..... It's forever changing .... Sex, eating ... Breathing is part of this life ..... How wonderful that you are skilled from your encounters and a future partner, if you choose to take one or even two.... Will have the beautiful benefit of a talented strong independent woman who knows how to enjoy herself.

Totally this a wise woman xxx

When selecting a partner is it necessary to request a resume of past encounters ???? A woman needs a few little secrets anyway

Be safe and happy

X "

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings


"Darling enjoy your life..... It's forever changing .... Sex, eating ... Breathing is part of this life ..... How wonderful that you are skilled from your encounters and a future partner, if you choose to take one or even two.... Will have the beautiful benefit of a talented strong independent woman who knows how to enjoy herself.

When selecting a partner is it necessary to request a resume of past encounters ???? A woman needs a few little secrets anyway

Be safe and happy

X "

Thank you

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings


"Everything you have ever done has made you the person you are right now. If you hadn't had those experiences you would be different..if someone loves you as you are right now then they have to accept everything that has made you the version of you stood in front of them."

Thanks this sounds great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've often wondered this too, having come off the dating scene after a heartbreak, but then staying around because I found I love the swinging lifestyle. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, "slut shaming" (I really hate that term. I am sexually liberated which does NOT make me a slut) is still alive and well, and many vanilla men, in my opinion, will see swinging ladies as "easy". Pisses me off!!! "

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

This is a great question OP, it has crossed my mind.

But now my mind has realised I don't think I could have a relationship with a vanilla guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are 33 and don't have a sexual history I would be extremely cautious.. But yes some men are arseholes and get upset if their future partner has more history than they do.

Best you are slightly evasive until you know how your prospect will react. Of course if you meet a swinger there shouldn't be any issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tough one as different courses for different horses. I wouldn't personally want to settle with someone that has fucked half the country as I haven't so I would want to give a potential partner someone not too used (me) and would expect the same. I actually don't get off with having hundreds of sexual partners, probably because I still think sex is an intimate thing rather than a 5min fuck and go like most on here but that's just me.

You won't struggle to find someone. Get someone off here then you can both continue to sleep with lots of people I guess.

It's funny because most guys on here that have closet girlfriends would never allow their GF's to be on here and be fucked by hundreds of men....double standards, do as I say not as I do hahaha"

I like how you use the term "used".

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"If you are 33 and don't have a sexual history I would be extremely cautious.. But yes some men are arseholes and get upset if their future partner has more history than they do.

Best you are slightly evasive until you know how your prospect will react. Of course if you meet a swinger there shouldn't be any issues "

Except sometimes there is. I've spoken to male swingers who are very clear that they wouldn't have a 'proper' relationship with a swinger.

There is a still double standard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't bother me that Mrs C is a swinger, nor how many people she has had sex with- it's twice as many as me as she does the men and the women as well!"
first of all I don't like you're friend lol it might make me concerned that I may not be for filling your desires but then again I never ask questions I may not like the answers to. Except at work but that's more of an obligation x

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West


"I've often wondered this too, having come off the dating scene after a heartbreak, but then staying around because I found I love the swinging lifestyle. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, "slut shaming" (I really hate that term. I am sexually liberated which does NOT make me a slut) is still alive and well, and many vanilla men, in my opinion, will see swinging ladies as "easy". Pisses me off!!! "

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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago

Preston

Ask this question does it matter the number of partners a male has had if he is looking to settle down. Most would say of course not, so why should it be any different for a female?

I'm certainly no expert on relationships, but isn't one key thing communication and honesty.

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By *r Stagger LeeMan
over a year ago

torquay

A past wouldn't phase me, any relationship should be about honesty and trust.

if you didn't feel comfortable sharing or accepting a partners past for me chances are it wouldn't be a strong relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the sort of man it would bother is unlikely to be the right guy for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are 33 and don't have a sexual history I would be extremely cautious.. But yes some men are arseholes and get upset if their future partner has more history than they do.

Best you are slightly evasive until you know how your prospect will react. Of course if you meet a swinger there shouldn't be any issues

Except sometimes there is. I've spoken to male swingers who are very clear that they wouldn't have a 'proper' relationship with a swinger.

There is a still double standard.

"

Certainly true that the swinging world is not arsehole free, we have encountered "single" men who wish to join us in a 3 some who write that they wouldn't let their wives play with other men! strangely we have never felt the urge to meet them.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Seems to be a fair amount of guys who wouldn't like it of a woman but wr are expected to accept it of men...

Personally I think that if you love someone you take them foe who they are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not an issue. you are you and whatever makes you is the person that any partner should accept because you are what they want.

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By *layboi69Man
over a year ago

alfreton

Do what makes you happy if he is uncomfortable with it fond some one that takes you for you.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Yay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask this question does it matter the number of partners a male has had if he is looking to settle down. Most would say of course not, so why should it be any different for a female?

I'm certainly no expert on relationships, but isn't one key thing communication and honesty. "

I think in the vanilla world many women would be put off by men who were swingers , l suspect it is one level lower than a player and that a man who has been able to and knows how to obtain NSA would be seen as highly unreliable. Potentially an unsafe choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Mrs number is bigger than mine i couldnt care less and no man who has fallen for you would if it puts him off he doesnt care that much they fall for the person you are bot the person you were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though i feel i should add that asking on here is probably not going to give you a fair representation of the "normal mans" opinion most of us like seeing another guy pleasure our wife lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

It wouldn't matter to me and it shouldn't matter. We are all on here for various reasons and everyone had a past. If they're going to be jealous of your past experiences then they're not worth spending time trying to encourage a long term relationship. What's happened in your past is what you, you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would have to suss out the man you were with and gauge their reaction to sexual matters before you divulged your history to them.

Some men are very possessive and some are the opposite. I actively encourage my wife to have sex with other guys and I am proud of the fact that she has had sex with over 100 other guys since we entered into this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would not bother me at all to be fair does not really matter what you did before you got with someone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number of lovers? No, not in the slightest would it bother me. If anything, it'd probably put my mind at ease that you had a filthy mind like mine.

Hypothetically speaking, of course

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

I knew my hubbie was a perv when he asked me very in depth questions about all the guys I had been with before him............perfect man for me! Sexual compatibility matters not just what society tells us women should 'behave' like.

Single female friends of mine believe it wrong to 'sleep around' is that a deep down feeling or society's norms? (These friends do not know about this life)

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By *ynopsisMan
over a year ago

Whetstone

Having had a few vanilla attempts at relationships from dating site's and trying to settle down, I always explain what I have done in the past to them.

Point to this is that we all have a past and if the other person cannot trust that you are with them for them then it's never going to work.

Just because you have the means to get a sexual partner at any time you fancy should not ditract from the fact that a relationship has a bond that sex alone doesn't normally break.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having had a few vanilla attempts at relationships from dating site's and trying to settle down, I always explain what I have done in the past to them.

Point to this is that we all have a past and if the other person cannot trust that you are with them for them then it's never going to work.

Just because you have the means to get a sexual partner at any time you fancy should not ditract from the fact that a relationship has a bond that sex alone doesn't normally break."

l think many vanilla women may take the view that sex is a gift and an intimate gift to be expressed between people who care for each other. Not just an itch to be scratched as and when necessary with random strangers in random combinations. It is one thing to have a number of failed relationships but to swing may be seen as sign of not taking something integral to a caring relationship seriously.

I am just putting what may be the mainstream view.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

I've said it before I'd like a lady to be a more permanent feature in my life,

I'm looking in various places and hopefully will find her,

My 2p's worth...

We all have a past How much of that you share with your future partner is for you to decide, if the guy trusts you then when and if you tell him.. "I've given this up ' he'll believe you, if he doesn't trust you with no foundation to be suspicious that's his problem.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

my husband doesnt mind i can understand why it would put men off but i think if someone got to know me properly then they may feel differently if they liked and were interested in the same things as what i am. People will ovbiously judge me and thats ok but i know what im really like.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I can't believe there are people in this post saying things like if he was my friend I'd tell him to sling his hook who does he think he is passing judgement on you .

I don't know what world these people live in but in my world my friends are not sycophants who tell me what I want to hear like a fake friend would no their real friends who would tell me there true concerns and thoughts on a subject I asked their opinion on .

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West


"Having had a few vanilla attempts at relationships from dating site's and trying to settle down, I always explain what I have done in the past to them.

Point to this is that we all have a past and if the other person cannot trust that you are with them for them then it's never going to work.

Just because you have the means to get a sexual partner at any time you fancy should not ditract from the fact that a relationship has a bond that sex alone doesn't normally break.

l think many vanilla women may take the view that sex is a gift and an intimate gift to be expressed between people who care for each other. Not just an itch to be scratched as and when necessary with random strangers in random combinations. It is one thing to have a number of failed relationships but to swing may be seen as sign of not taking something integral to a caring relationship seriously.

I am just putting what may be the mainstream view."

Think this is spot on actually about what a woman in vanilla land may think but my thought (because I would have had a similar view many years ago) is that it's socialisation that makes woman believe this and it's so hard to break through that thought. I feel released in this world and I love seeing that in other women too..................starts very subtly in the teenage years the women are a slut and a man is a stud thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on fab for over three years now...met over a two year period and had alot of fun

However got talking to a best mate one day and he told me it was time to stop fucking about and find someone

He also told me that any guy I meet would be wary of the fact I've had this lifestyle and slept with a few men and that I might struggle in any future relationship because guys wont trust that I could give this lifestyle up

Having said that I stopped as soon as he mentioned it in January and haven't gone back to it since. I come on here because I liked the people that I used to talk to and made friends on here

GUYS. Honest opinions please...... Is it an issue if a woman has had this lifestyle if ur looking to settle... Does her number of previous sexual encounters with men matter to you

I jst want everyone's honesty and opinions"

Yep. Trollop

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By *hor ThumbMan
over a year ago

bristol

Id say your friend is overtly opinionated, there are lots of guys on here that are comfortable and happy with this lifestyle and actively looking for a partner like you that they can love and swing with. The strongest bonds ive ever known are the bonds of a swinging couple, no hang ups, no lies, no cheating, very liberating. I think its fantastic that you are experimenting with your sexuality and sex drive, its your business and nobody elses. My missus has a very high sex drive and i love her for it and encourage it. I love seeing her with other guys and girls. Its very sexy and thats how you should be seeing yourself, anyone judging you differently is just forcing their opinions and hangups on you. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I knkoknkow he's your mate and all, but he could do with removing that stick from up his ass, fuck me, did he say you wouldn't have much of a chance to marry well if you have family living in cheaspsides? Is he Victorian?, I font know how men live their lives not Bering able to handle strong independent women, oh yeah I do, they paint them as the whore of Babylon for expressing any kind of interest in sex.

If anyone has a problem with your past, they front deserve to be part of your future, end of "

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By *hor ThumbMan
over a year ago

bristol

Your sexual past is nobodys business but your own, unless you have an std but that still doesnt give someone the right to nosey into your past. I personally couldn'thave a relationship with anyone vanilla.. only having sex with 1 person for the rest ofyour life!?!? No no no!

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings


"I can't believe there are people in this post saying things like if he was my friend I'd tell him to sling his hook who does he think he is passing judgement on you .

I don't know what world these people live in but in my world my friends are not sycophants who tell me what I want to hear like a fake friend would no their real friends who would tell me there true concerns and thoughts on a subject I asked their opinion on ."

I love this and thank you. At the end of the day this guy is very important to me and ge doesn't often tell people his opinion on their lives because he like most views believes it is our lives to live.

However he also is the sort that doesn't wanna see me hurt or be in a situation that could cause me harm. He did say he gets it, having fun can be a good thing. But he jst wants to see me happy and I thi k he thinks that after all these years of watching me get used by people. Itd be nice to se me settle and all the time I'm living this life I am not meeting "the one"

I do not see his advice and concern as him butting his nose in or being judgmental.

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West


"I can't believe there are people in this post saying things like if he was my friend I'd tell him to sling his hook who does he think he is passing judgement on you .

I don't know what world these people live in but in my world my friends are not sycophants who tell me what I want to hear like a fake friend would no their real friends who would tell me there true concerns and thoughts on a subject I asked their opinion on .

I love this and thank you. At the end of the day this guy is very important to me and ge doesn't often tell people his opinion on their lives because he like most views believes it is our lives to live.

However he also is the sort that doesn't wanna see me hurt or be in a situation that could cause me harm. He did say he gets it, having fun can be a good thing. But he jst wants to see me happy and I thi k he thinks that after all these years of watching me get used by people. Itd be nice to se me settle and all the time I'm living this life I am not meeting "the one"

I do not see his advice and concern as him butting his nose in or being judgmental."

One thing you mentioned there about being used stood out the most........if you feel used as a sought after woman on fab and in swinging that doesnt sound like a good feeling

Its great you have took time out and hope you are actively looking for dates?

If i was to throw my two penneth in, wait until you are really comfortable with someone and are hopefully matched before even mentioning this world that was a small part of your time on the planet.........after all when you meet a potential partner all the 'hard stuff' of life, baggage and things from the past you dont say it all straight away so why is the sex stuff any different?

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Some people think it won't be an issue but then it bugs them. Those are the ones who tend not to just say that but let it rumble in the back of their heads.

And there are some who think it might be a problem but who can handle the fact you have a past.

However, tread delicately before you reveal all. Some people will blab about you without a second thought.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

I never saw my life on fab as me being used...had enough of that out there in vanilla world...but to my mate any way he looked at it I was being used...

In reality I think he jst wants to see me happy and loved by someone decent that's all...

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West


"I never saw my life on fab as me being used...had enough of that out there in vanilla world...but to my mate any way he looked at it I was being used...

In reality I think he jst wants to see me happy and loved by someone decent that's all..."

Thats better that you dont feel used but yes what your friend sees is also important and he wants whats best for you, we dont always see situations the same especially when we are in it. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't bother me tbh, that's her life before I was on the scene. We all have our magic numbers.

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings


"I never saw my life on fab as me being used...had enough of that out there in vanilla world...but to my mate any way he looked at it I was being used...

In reality I think he jst wants to see me happy and loved by someone decent that's all...

Thats better that you dont feel used but yes what your friend sees is also important and he wants whats best for you, we dont always see situations the same especially when we are in it. Good luck x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

asking the people on here has a slight bias to it

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Lol

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

What fucking decade is your "mate" from?

Men who would be intimidated by your past probably have self-esteem issues and I doubt they'd be worth your time anyway.

If you're enjoying the lifestyle, I don't see why you should stop unless YOU wanted to.

If in the future you meet someone, they should love you for you. Or maybe you can find someone into this lifestyle as well and keep swinging!

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"asking the people on here has a slight bias to it "

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Meh its good to get opinions

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Meh its good to get opinions"

Maybe this think-tank is biased?

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By *annoo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hastings

Nope I've had better responses here than in the so called vanilla world

You guys gotta stop saying that just coz were all on fab mean we only think one way, it's bull we are varied and all have washed off thinking that's diff

I've had some valid replies I thank all involved

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