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Been away for a bit

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

welcome back xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing.

Be true to yourself. You are a long time dead.

Mrs

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?"

I was on here as a single for four years, on and off between relationships which didn't satisfy me in all ways. Then, out of nowhere, up popped Mr and we have a great relationship which means no compromise in that we each be true to what and who we are and accept each other. Personally I think you should hold out for what makes you feel satisfied ... but dont rush it ... time will tell you the way.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?"
missed you x maybe you are entrenched in what a relationship actually is...i was...pick out what you can do and what you cant even in this moment...and let people know..if noone knows, noone can offer you that cake..right? xx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?"

I walked away from nearly 25 years of marriage, filled with compromises. Nearly a decade on my own I met my other half on here.

I wasn't looking it just happened but I don't have to compromise about anything sexual.

Hold out for what you want: it's out there.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Welcome back.

Only you can answer and do what makes you happy.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Who are you again?

Don't leave it so long next time

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

Welcome back, and yes I personally like to believe it does exist but then maybe I'm an unrealistic optimist

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?"

It really does depend I suppose on what the person you're in a relationship with is happy to accept and in a way that's already compromising. I think that if you don't want to compromise at all on anything you can't be in a relationship...sorry.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?

It really does depend I suppose on what the person you're in a relationship with is happy to accept and in a way that's already compromising. I think that if you don't want to compromise at all on anything you can't be in a relationship...sorry."

I like your point, because I think when it's with the right person, it doesn't feel like a compromise ... whereas with the wrong person, it's too much. I never thought I could be part of a couple as I am so independent and have always done my own thing; likewise, Mr is used to being on his own and accountable to no-one. If you love the other person you want to be with them and make them happy, it's not a compromise. Hold out for the right person and they will come along, but don't have any expectations as to who or what they should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being completely honest sets you free. Good luck mate.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Welcome back x

I'm sure that very few people get life 'just right', and the rest of us just muddle along...

Take care xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome back

In London no one cares if you are vanilla / kinky or whatever no one bats an eye, do you think it's your environment ?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We are blessed as we are in this together and neither of us feels like we are having to compromise....respect & honesty ensures we really do get to have it all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

in any relationship compromise is required even if its about eating dinner at 8 when you'd rather eat at 8:30. There's no relationship that I can think of that doesn't require some sort of compromise.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well im woofing my cake down me.

I do comprimise on things that im not fussed about but its not really a comorimise i do it cause i want to.

Sonetimes you can have their favourite dinner sometimes theres.

I can do what i like but there is a an inaginary line i dont cross out of love and respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been evaluating what I want in life, and the truth is I'm still noi closer to knowing now.

I'm caught in the middle of two lives, a nice uncomplicated vanilla life, filled with romantic dates, shared experiences,and those moments of inactivity, that are made better just having someone to be inactive with.

And my kinky life, with my freedom and sense of self intact, being able to live while answering to no one, and knowing where I stand.

I just can't find that happy medium, does it even exist? I know comprising is a big part of being in a relationship, but I don't want to compromise, I've compromised most of my adult life, and yeah I know it soiunds like I want my cake a d eat it, maybe I do, but what's wrong with that?"

With the right person you can have both and it doesn't feel like a compromise it feels like a decision you make together as a result of great communication x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/16 22:41:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"in any relationship compromise is required even if its about eating dinner at 8 when you'd rather eat at 8:30. There's no relationship that I can think of that doesn't require some sort of compromise. "

I agree....and those relationships that are actually worthwhile make it so it doesn't really feel like a compromise....i think it works best when the compromises are on the small things...not the big issues. Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It appears that two

Lifestyles are attractive to you so

You can like cars and motor bikes or steak and fish......we can like two separate lives and live in the acceptance of the same.

Compromise in my opinion is unhealthy - live with someone where no compromise is required and where your individual wants and idiosyncrasies are respected.....

Be safe and happy.....

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


" Being completely honest sets you free. Good luck mate."

Unless one is an highly sought after bank robber....

Nice to see you back

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Unless one is an highly sought after bank robber...."

Been to the land of stripy sunshine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad your back xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Its tricky, I'm quite guarded when it comes to my feelings, but I'm at an ave now where I feel like if I was to meet the right person, they could have it all, I'd lay every last piece of my being bare to them, that feels like giving up control, and I don't give up control easily as most of you know.

She's out there, but she's probably

Married

Lives miles away

Not attracted to me

Or a lesbian

Thanks all for the encouraging words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sucks when your time away doesn't yield any answers or solves any of the issues you were hoping a break might. Welcome back nevertheless X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It sucks when your time away doesn't yield any answers or solves any of the issues you were hoping a break might. Welcome back nevertheless X"

I missed your lips

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