FabSwingers.com forum: Deceitful.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So disappointed..Have been chatting to a gentleman on here for about three months now,spoken to him on the phone,messaged each other on kik,and we were going to meet then today he deleted his profile,so i messaged him on kik and asked why he had left,and he said ..,i just couldn't go on deceiving you as the pictures i put up were not of me...but i would still like to meet.Well this wont be happening as what other lies have been told,i think its an awful thing to do to someone and for the life of me i cant understand it,surely it would be my choice to meet him or not if he had shown the real him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So disappointed..Have been chatting to a gentleman on here for about three months now,spoken to him on the phone,messaged each other on kik,and we were going to meet then today he deleted his profile,so i messaged him on kik and asked why he had left,and he said ..,i just couldn't go on deceiving you as the pictures i put up were not of me...but i would still like to meet.Well this wont be happening as what other lies have been told,i think its an awful thing to do to someone and for the life of me i cant understand it,surely it would be my choice to meet him or not if he had shown the real him ."

That is so wrong on many levels. #sad in my opinion. Why do people do that? No morals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he doesn't think the real him is attractive but wanted to feel desired, probably.

but yeah that's a shame he lied to you.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awful xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that - as was said above I'm guessing he liked you but was deceitful in getting to speak to you. Plenty more out there I'm sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be your choice yes.

Sadly people have a myriad of reasons for how they behave. Sometimes we can't fathom out why, and sometimes they can't either.

It's all too easy to behave like this in the online world.

I hope you don't feel too hurt. If you don't feel too hurt ask to see the real him?

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By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

Shocking,..... His loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah man. That sucks.

People can be cruel but luckily not everyone is like that.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx"

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Disappointed for you..not nice to be deceived in that way x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" It would be your choice yes.

Sadly people have a myriad of reasons for how they behave. Sometimes we can't fathom out why, and sometimes they can't either.

It's all too easy to behave like this in the online world.

I hope you don't feel too hurt. If you don't feel too hurt ask to see the real him?"
Yes i did and of course he didnt look as good as the the first pictures,but looks are not every thing ,its the fact that he lied to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id just look on the positive side and be thankful that he actually told you..i would hate to think he carried on stringing you along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use dodgy pictures. Honest the ones ive got aint me. Im better then them in person

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Take it all with a pinch of salt, even after meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh.

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"he doesn't think the real him is attractive but wanted to feel desired, probably.

but yeah that's a shame he lied to you."

I recon this! Sorry you were deceived... You feel like there's a connection and it's sad when it's based on lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think that if anyone ever did that to me, I'd still want to meet them regardless. Yes I'd be pissed off and a bit hurt and let down, but after that length of time chatting you can get a bit of a friendship bond going on.

Obviously it would just be as friends, until can build trust up again.

But then I'm a daft cow and a bit of a sucker so...

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I'd like to think that if anyone ever did that to me, I'd still want to meet them regardless. Yes I'd be pissed off and a bit hurt and let down, but after that length of time chatting you can get a bit of a friendship bond going on.

Obviously it would just be as friends, until can build trust up again.

But then I'm a daft cow and a bit of a sucker so..."

& 6'2" so you could clump him one if you had too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He then said he didnt get anywhere with a previous profile and pictures he had up ,so made a new one with the ones that were not him.Was he really going to meet anyone ,I'm confused by it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh."

You tell them. Nailed it. It's so sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh."

And kittie PM u

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Obviously it would just be as friends, until can build trust up again.

But then I'm a daft cow and a bit of a sucker so..."
I couldn't meet after the lies,I'm very forgiving most of the time ,but he let this go on for three months.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

That does happen from time to time on all sites, that's why the verification system is valuable to my mind, but even then people can change pics

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh."

Then I'll continue to be harsh. The number of online frauds where people get sucked in with months of lovely chatter with someone oh so good. Yes, it hurts to be duped but there's more than enough 'poor you' comments on here.

There is also the gender bias going on so I am saying what I would if it was a post by a man. I doubt anyone would accuse me of being harsh in that case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't blame you for not wanting to meet. it takes a lot for me to trust someone so the slightest hint of not being able to trust someone is a huge put off.

i even mention trust on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously it would just be as friends, until can build trust up again.

But then I'm a daft cow and a bit of a sucker so... I couldn't meet after the lies,I'm very forgiving most of the time ,but he let this go on for three months."

Yes and I noticed after that you said he had deliberately did it because he wasn't getting anywhere on another profile, so that sounds more manipulative than it just being a case of insecurity.

I'm sorry he's upset you OP, but just think you've had a lucky escape X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh.

You tell them. Nailed it. It's so sad"

Sad?? Realy? It probably happens s dozen times a day on here, nothing sad about it, frustrating and annoying not sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously it would just be as friends, until can build trust up again.

But then I'm a daft cow and a bit of a sucker so...

& 6'2" so you could clump him one if you had too

only if I had too x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh.

You tell them. Nailed it. It's so sad

Sad?? Realy? It probably happens s dozen times a day on here, nothing sad about it, frustrating and annoying not sad "

I think the 'sad' was a commentary on my 'harshness'.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It's sucks when this sort of thing happens. I never totally believe anyone is who they say they are until they are right in front of me anymore!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a Liar, always a Liar. NEVER to be trusted.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"He then said he didnt get anywhere with a previous profile and pictures he had up ,so made a new one with the ones that were not him.Was he really going to meet anyone ,I'm confused by it all."

What an idiot ... hopefully he's learnt now that being deceitful doesn't get you anywhere either, and from now on will be more honest with prospective meets ... not that that helps you of course or lessens the disappointment and hurt. As you say, did he ever have any intention of meeting anyone in reality at all - when obviously he'd have been found out the minute you set eyes on him.

Am sorry your time's been wasted and your trust abused ... you must feel taken for a fool and very angry. I hope he's had the good grace to be extremely apologetic.

Ms G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Suppose im just a bit down about it and yes you all have your opinions which have been great,we had a great rapour chatting and were communicating daily and now this.,like a member said move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh.

You tell them. Nailed it. It's so sad

Sad?? Realy? It probably happens s dozen times a day on here, nothing sad about it, frustrating and annoying not sad

I think the 'sad' was a commentary on my 'harshness'.

That is even worse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He then said he didnt get anywhere with a previous profile and pictures he had up ,so made a new one with the ones that were not him.Was he really going to meet anyone ,I'm confused by it all.

Am sorry your time's been wasted and your trust abused ... you must feel taken for a fool and very angry. I hope he's had the good grace to be extremely apologetic.

Ms G"
He just said sorry but he would still like to meet,i havent even bothered answering .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this OP. Sadly there are many people who tell lies and suck us in for their own selfish reasons. I hope you're ok and can move on swiftly. I'm sure you'll find a real gem soon which will make it worth while

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

It's rather depressing that this is a reality.

Dismissing someone being a little upset about it is quite harsh.

There is also the gender bias going on so I am saying what I would if it was a post by a man. I doubt anyone would accuse me of being harsh in that case.

Yes but as the "Male" of the species we are supposed to put on a face and be the tough guys, We must have friended 20 ladies on here & I'd say 4 were guys posing as and a large proportion of the others just wanted to feel wanted by someone rather than actually do anything about it..Including the lady (genuine) that friended us chatted for hours & hours, talking meets, where,when..then nothing..Why is this any different? It's just a mental lie as opposed to a physical one. tbh if it were the other way round and I refused to meet a lady because she used dodgy pics I'd probably be called a shallow so&so by some of the same ladies on this thread..Do you know what though, I'd still go even if to give that person some company cos they must feel pretty shitty about themselves to do it in the first place and maybe a bit of help with their pics & profile might convince them to try again as themselves..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx"

mate your seeing 'harsh' but I don't agree, have to wonder had the OP been a guy posting this that some including yourself would have been slightly less enthusiastic in your empathy..

that's also the reality..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suppose im just a bit down about it and yes you all have your opinions which have been great,we had a great rapour chatting and were communicating daily and now this.,like a member said move on."

You know, hes still that guy - the chatty fellow with the great rapport. Perhaps hes got real self image issues or insecurities about the way he looks.

Its a shame he felt he needed to do what he did. Coming clean about before meeting says something; deleting his profile through the guilt of what hes done doesn't balance out the lie but perhaps you can take away that perhaps he wasn't all bad?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

mate your seeing 'harsh' but I don't agree, have to wonder had the OP been a guy posting this that some including yourself would have been slightly less enthusiastic in your empathy..

that's also the reality.."
To be honest not looking sympathy at all,just trying to understand ,and i didnt rant and go mad at him,i took the time to ask the reasons he did it,if it had been a week or a fortnight and he had told me then just maybe it wouldnt feel to bad ,but three months is quite a while to deceive someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you hoped for more from him than sex and that's why you feel so let down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Suppose im just a bit down about it and yes you all have your opinions which have been great,we had a great rapour chatting and were communicating daily and now this.,like a member said move on.

You know, hes still that guy - the chatty fellow with the great rapport. Perhaps hes got real self image issues or insecurities about the way he looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain - I've had a similar experience, kinda makes you want to give up, I felt such a fool... I was very hurt and I didn't want to start all over again, I didn't want to give up on him and the time I invested!!! But, I found the strength, I know my worth and have moved on, it's his loss!!! I am currently in the process of vetting someone new, with a much more wary approach, much more cynical and I'm ensuring that he meets my strict criteria and that I meet his, it needs mutual respect! I never really wanted it to be like a 'tick-list' and I wanted to be trusting and believing, but I'm a fast learner and they need to prove themselves to gain my trust (and vice versa), it seems this site makes you hardened!! I think the old mantra is 'if it seems too good to be true? - it probably is!!' Good luck and don't be too disheartened xxx

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

It's his wife I feel sorry for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe you hoped for more from him than sex and that's why you feel so let down "
Gosh no not at all,I'm not on here looking a relationship with anyone.How could i say i wanted more from him than sex when i hadn't even met him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel sad that people feel they have to resort to tricks because no one will talk to them with their true body or face on show. They are grasping at any attention to make themselves feel better. If only men who matched my level of body attractiveness mailed me I wouldn't get much sex on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's his wife I feel sorry for. "

I didn't realise he was married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reverse image search.

At the beginning.

Saves wasting time on liars

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's his wife I feel sorry for. "
Yes maybe saying he was single was another lie who knows.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reverse image search.

At the beginning.

Saves wasting time on liars

"
I did and it said no results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe you hoped for more from him than sex and that's why you feel so let down Gosh no not at all,I'm not on here looking a relationship with anyone.How could i say i wanted more from him than sex when i hadn't even met him."

Because you can have feelings from chatting and 3 months is a fair amount of time for you to make judgement, especially if your the type of person that prefers personality over looks.

I've liked someone for there personality and looks wise they did nothing for me.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

mate your seeing 'harsh' but I don't agree, have to wonder had the OP been a guy posting this that some including yourself would have been slightly less enthusiastic in your empathy..

that's also the reality.. To be honest not looking sympathy at all,just trying to understand ,and i didnt rant and go mad at him,i took the time to ask the reasons he did it,if it had been a week or a fortnight and he had told me then just maybe it wouldnt feel to bad ,but three months is quite a while to deceive someone."

I know..

my post above wasn't aimed at yourself..

I think there is definitely something in what Professor said also has some very good points..

at this moment its a bit of mystery and hurts but give it a few days and you may look at it differently..

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think they call it catfished. Lolled you into a false sense of security. He knew you would contact him via other means if he just deleted on here and was hoping the bull he had been feeding you for three months would make you feel sorry for him.

Im sorry it happened im also sorry some see it as reality as they must attract some strange people its not normal behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suppose im just a bit down about it and yes you all have your opinions which have been great,we had a great rapour chatting and were communicating daily and now this.,like a member said move on.

You know, hes still that guy - the chatty fellow with the great rapport. Perhaps hes got real self image issues or insecurities about the way he looks.

That part of him hasn't changed though has it?

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"There are many fantasists and some just enjoy the message exchange. It happens.

Move on.

Hehe don't be harsh. She's hurt coz she's spent a lot of time in that chat and hurt her emotions. I feel for you love. Xx

You see harsh, I see reality. It happens. It's certainly not the worst deceit I have heard of on here.

This is true, but it doesn't hurt to be a bit more sensitive or supportive about it!

Or just say nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was in a relationship for 23 years before i joined fab and he was a liar as i found out,all them wasted years based on lies.all i ask is honesty from a person not much to ask.

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

I'm sorry to hear this,how awful & hurtful.

Bastard (sorry I don't normally swear but on this occasion please excuse)

Many hugs))

Bambi xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel your pain - I've had a similar experience, kinda makes you want to give up, I felt such a fool... I was very hurt and I didn't want to start all over again, I didn't want to give up on him and the time I invested!!! But, I found the strength, I know my worth and have moved on, it's his loss!!! I am currently in the process of vetting someone new, with a much more wary approach, much more cynical and I'm ensuring that he meets my strict criteria and that I meet his, it needs mutual respect! I never really wanted it to be like a 'tick-list' and I wanted to be trusting and believing, but I'm a fast learner and they need to prove themselves to gain my trust (and vice versa), it seems this site makes you hardened!! I think the old mantra is 'if it seems too good to be true? - it probably is!!' Good luck and don't be too disheartened xxx"
Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sorry to hear this,how awful & hurtful.

Bastard (sorry I don't normally swear but on this occasion please excuse)

Many hugs))

Bambi xx"
xxx

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