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101 ways to get a meet if you are a monger?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I thought we could all selflessly help the mongers out there to get a meet?

(Inspired by yet another guy moaning)

Who can come up with the funniest ideas?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Number 1

Wear a Mexican wrestling mask!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 1

Wear a Mexican wrestling mask!"

Win the lottery and say you are Bernie Ecclestone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we call them mingers where i come from...

how about a balaclava? the wrong way around?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Sombreros work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find someone equally as fugly?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Tiger face paint

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"we call them mingers where i come from...

how about a balaclava? the wrong way around?"

Bloody autocarrot! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy a miniature sky remote, well you know what to do with it

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.

Write a hit west end musical or two....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have no standards?

Change sexuality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doggy style was invented for mingers to get laid.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem."

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea


"Buy a miniature sky remote, well you know what to do with it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

offer a glory hole encounter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we call them mingers where i come from...

how about a balaclava? the wrong way around?

Bloody autocarrot! !"

mongers is just as relevant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

"

Maybe they don't want to fuck on film.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Grow a beard- for men too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grow a beard- for men too!"

Oooh that's a good one.

That may be superb advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go ugly early.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Paper bag

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By *rchie_pMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Go see the 'face off' guy get him to swap your head with Tom hardy or some other sexy bastard !!! Boom good to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grow a beard- for men too!"

Oh the bearded one will be here soon now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Become Spiderman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grow a beard- for men too!

Oooh that's a good one.

That may be superb advice! "

I'm told all the time I look better with a beard.

That Gillette guy is not my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Paper bag "

Remember to cut holes in it thou, bloody hurts when you walk into a wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Paper bag "

2 paper bags, one for you just in case theirs falls off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets. "

It's okay, you can use it to find a guy too. Its probably so hard for a 5 to find one .

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

Pretend to be a couple and then turn up to a meet saying she got called into work and will join us later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a gang bang and slip it in when no one is looking

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Monger?

Is that the preferred nomenclature?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to clubs and stay in the dark room.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I met Ron Jeremy once, lovely man but fugly.

He's been successful, I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a vagina! Doesn't matter what you look like then - you can get laid 24/7!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Go to clubs and stay in the dark room."

There was this *one time*...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's okay, you can use it to find a guy too. Its probably so hard for a 5 to find one ."

I tend to wait till they're on drink 5 and I look like a 10. Works a charm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get a vagina! Doesn't matter what you look like then - you can get laid 24/7! "

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge


"Go to a gang bang and slip it in when no one is looking "

I witnessed something similar when at a big bi orgy. A spectator got a bit excited, didn't bother getting nekkid, undid his belt, unleashed his 4 " of manliness, put on a condom and rather brutally plunged his cock into a lass, he gave her the best two thrusts of his life and withdrew, high fived another spectator and then walked off ....... Disrespectful arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rohypnol? No?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Go to a gang bang and slip it in when no one is looking

I witnessed something similar when at a big bi orgy. A spectator got a bit excited, didn't bother getting nekkid, undid his belt, unleashed his 4 " of manliness, put on a condom and rather brutally plunged his cock into a lass, he gave her the best two thrusts of his life and withdrew, high fived another spectator and then walked off ....... Disrespectful arsehole."

What an absolute charmer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chop your head off!

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

Go to a bi night and when the fella is at the bar - approach the lass and tell her she needs a real man!

Happened to us at Abfabs bi night, the spotty oil was about 80kg piss wet through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's okay, you can use it to find a guy too. Its probably so hard for a 5 to find one .

I tend to wait till they're on drink 5 and I look like a 10. Works a charm.

"

I don't drink, your plan to seduce me is falling to pieces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets. "

It's no secret, we are all taught this in social education when you are getting the tampon talk!

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge


"Go to a bi night and when the fella is at the bar - approach the lass and tell her she needs a real man!

Happened to us at Abfabs bi night, the spotty oil was about 80kg piss wet through."

Oik ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's okay, you can use it to find a guy too. Its probably so hard for a 5 to find one .

I tend to wait till they're on drink 5 and I look like a 10. Works a charm.

I don't drink, your plan to seduce me is falling to pieces "

I was going to let you watch but for the attitude you can go back to the naughty step.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea


"Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

Maybe they don't want to fuck on film. "

I get 40 messages a day from guys that do & when i say yes they go quite for some reason...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's no secret, we are all taught this in social education when you are getting the tampon talk! "

Only thing I took from that talk was

"The footballer dribbles before he shoots"

That was my teacher dismissing the idea about him pulling out before he cums will ensure you don't get pregnant....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's no secret, we are all taught this in social education when you are getting the tampon talk!

Only thing I took from that talk was

"The footballer dribbles before he shoots"

That was my teacher dismissing the idea about him pulling out before he cums will ensure you don't get pregnant....

"

Oh what glorious poetry, still it explained away the stains on her skirt!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

What first attracted you to the millionaire...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's no secret, we are all taught this in social education when you are getting the tampon talk!

Only thing I took from that talk was

"The footballer dribbles before he shoots"

That was my teacher dismissing the idea about him pulling out before he cums will ensure you don't get pregnant....

Oh what glorious poetry, still it explained away the stains on her skirt! "

It was sex education.

Not a production of barely legal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought we could all selflessly help the mongers out there to get a meet?

(Inspired by yet another guy moaning)

Who can come up with the funniest ideas?"

how about they stop whinging about it, man up and grow a pair...

moaning about not getting meets is so unattractive....

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's no secret, we are all taught this in social education when you are getting the tampon talk!

Only thing I took from that talk was

"The footballer dribbles before he shoots"

That was my teacher dismissing the idea about him pulling out before he cums will ensure you don't get pregnant....

Oh what glorious poetry, still it explained away the stains on her skirt!

It was sex education.

Not a production of barely legal"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got a hot lady friend joining me today.....I promise she is real and it won't just be me and you when she gets called away for work/sick/funeral/modelling shoot?!"

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By *azzyxMan
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire


"I thought we could all selflessly help the mongers out there to get a meet?

(Inspired by yet another guy moaning)

Who can come up with the funniest ideas?

how about they stop whinging about it, man up and grow a pair...

moaning about not getting meets is so unattractive...."

Sound advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Captain England and Manchester United ....hang on hes got Colleen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency "

Well I think you're a terrible person for saying we're all terrible people.

You can't be all judgey to those you think are judgey.

You're one of us terrible people now.

Embrace it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 1

Wear a Mexican wrestling mask!

Win the lottery and say you are Bernie Ecclestone."

But only if you want your wife to be kidnapped ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman with extremely low self esteem.

You shouldn't give away all your secrets.

It's okay, you can use it to find a guy too. Its probably so hard for a 5 to find one .

I tend to wait till they're on drink 5 and I look like a 10. Works a charm.

I don't drink, your plan to seduce me is falling to pieces

I was going to let you watch but for the attitude you can go back to the naughty step. "

Wait what...let me watch what? What I wanted to say is that you look like a 5/5 in my eyes without the drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency "

Really?!

All?....a bit harsh, all I said was I'm told I look better hidden behind a beard.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"What first attracted you to the millionaire..."

I have a wealthy friend who ends up with a succession of younger, attractive, gold-digging psycho-bitch girl friends.

So what first attracted you to...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grow your own winning personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with u mate we are all different and individuals. For some one to mock someone and call them mingers is wrong ... That's how shallow u lot are......zimple...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People love to be outraged.

Lighten up! Fuck sake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency "

As it was inspired by a moaner (of which I see many every day on here), this is more of a tongue in cheek middle finger to them, not an actual rip on single males.

Either in my inbox or on the forums, someone is whingeing about not being able to get a meet, and blaming everyone else. Usually the ones with just a cock shot, a 'funny' name like cunthumper728 and just two lines of txtspk. I'm seeing this as a humorous send up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People love to be outraged.

Lighten up! Fuck sake. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just sharing my best techniques to get a meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a blindfold on her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hack the site...delete all single men and couples profiles leaving you as the only resemblance of manliness on here ...then prepare yourself to be crushed by an avalanche of pussy .

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Hack the site...delete all single men and couples profiles leaving you as the only resemblance of manliness on here ...then prepare yourself to be crushed by an avalanche of pussy ."

Try Site Support for that suggestion

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency "

Corrr- I bet your inbox is the biggest bulge all week after that comment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

"

To be fair I wouldn't want filming either

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally agree with u mate we are all different and individuals. For some one to mock someone and call them mingers is wrong ... That's how shallow u lot are......zimple..."

I couldn't even spell that right-if I go to the naughty corner- who wants to spank me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/16 13:46:13]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Say you can't put a face pic up for security reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steel a good looking persons pictures, arrange a meet and hope the person you're meeting doesn't notice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use travel sized deodorant cans for scale!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find a woman whos over 15 stone with a melt face !!!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Make a thread to get tips

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Offer a "double bag meet" a bag on their head and a bag for yours, in case theirs slips off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grow some tits.

Works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say you have a medical problem and can make love for hours without cumming.

After you cum after a few minutes declare you are finally cured

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell the person you're wanting to meet that you drive a fully stocked mobile sex shop that also doubles up as an adult themed ice cream van that plays duelling banjos in a creepy out of tune tone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say you have a medical problem and can make love for hours without cumming.

After you cum after a few minutes declare you are finally cured"

That's me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grow some tits.

Works for me "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Make a thread to get tips"

I have been offered one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Paper bag "
You Rang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

Maybe they don't want to fuck on film. "

Yes maybe they don't want to be used for your gain x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a sex change XXX

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Crossdress, you will be fending off the blokes.

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By *parkly MittensWoman
over a year ago

My own little world

Become deadpool as we all know how good he looks.....

Ask your victim if they know what chloroform smells like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Become deadpool as we all know how good he looks.....

Ask your victim if they know what chloroform smells like "

Just use Rohypnol these days

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By *rotiquexxxMan
over a year ago

Unquenchable Desires

Invest in a dark room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll come back and take revision notes later.

For a friend...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Become deadpool as we all know how good he looks.....

Ask your victim if they know what chloroform smells like "

Like an older avocado!

I still would though as long as he kept the Wolverine mask on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Become Wolverine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Become Wolverine! "

How easy is that to do?

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

Fancy a fuck?

MrsSB

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

Have a tump load of pictures of your cock next to the set top box remote, a beer bottle, or a tin of Lynx Africa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find a woman whos over 15 stone with a melt face !!!"

Someone call for me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thought of another- how about you pretend that you are the same couple as you were 3 months ago when really the male half is someone else!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All advice noted down, I'll pass it on to a friend...he'll test those thoroughly

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By *ouple4biwomenMan
over a year ago

Anfield


"Well done everyone you are all terrible people. Making fun of the men who are constantly having their confidence shattered must make you feel good..and the fact if a women or couple complain nobody ever makes a forum post mocking their very existance. Men have it hardest on here so learn some common decency "

Well said considering as a few of the people on here got offended when I asked opinions on hairy bums on an earlier post! Double standards guys!

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By *ouple4biwomenMan
over a year ago

Anfield

[Removed by poster at 27/07/16 11:54:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try talking in a sensible fashion not "hey want to fuck?"

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By *ohnyorkMan
over a year ago

york

Thank you guys this is a winning thread i have loads of new ideas i need to invest in some paper bags or maybe chop my head off and get a sombrero ill nick one from chiquitos awesome thank you all this will help me loads

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By *iffraffMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

Change pictures of you for some of some gorgeous young hunk.

What could go wrong ?

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By *lumbercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Vera Playa

Roll up 3 pairs of socks and shove them down your boxers??

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

Pfftt easyy

If you do get a meet get her d*unk lol

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

Cover your face in metal so they can't see your real face lol

Also great to start chats at clubs and pubs with lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a puppy and take it for a walk

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ummmmmm what have I done hmmmmm

Photographed my bum rather than face as I have often been told I have a face like a slapped Arse

Handcuffed myself and blindfolded so that no one can see my hands and my eyes,

Put a cock pick of my cock in someone's mouth so the rest of the women can see how small it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can feel my ears burning!

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax


"Get a puppy and take it for a walk"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Find someone equally as fugly? "

Found her! Hehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys who don't or can't get meets sometimes do it to themselves as i regularly ask for guys for shoots with a list of lovely ladies & hardly any ever turn up.

"

Shoots?

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