FabSwingers.com forum: Dom diddly Dom

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To deep for a sat eve? X

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about.

Maybe probably , do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about.

Ohhhh it was sarcastic , as I said 'few will understand '

Oh we'll

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish."

Yes I agreed but that's not a true Dom/sub dynamic. Bdsm scene is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not terribly into the Dom/sub thing. With the right man it can come naturally but very rare.

I had the displeasure of a guy who thought it was sexy to try and ignore my very explicit wishes against his so called Dom moves. Never again.

Show some respect to your meet and reap the rewards. If you insist on being a douchebag - just remember women talk.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,........."

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish.

Yes I agreed but that's not a true Dom/sub dynamic. Bdsm scene is different "

my dynamic would extend to more than just sex anyway. i want it all total domination of a person. that's why i haven't got very far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,.........

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit.

Research and read self reflect and be honest with your self x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the plastic-doms on here are clueless

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

Well spoken..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

id agree,,im sub,,but I'm in charge

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I'm yet to encounter a true Dom through fab so far it's just been guys that like rough sex and have no real clue about the scene so I completely understand where you're coming from.

I don't need to be in a relationship or love my Dom but I do need a connection with him by at least having a trusting friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's more Topping if it's casual. If I'm meeting, I'll try and make clear beforehand that I'd be a bottom rather than sub. But I'm still a sub, just not to someone I'm meeting for a single night of kinky fun.

So I would understand any guy considering himself a Dom, just not *your* Dom. Doesn't make him not a Dom.

And no, bottoms hold all the power. Subs hand it over to their Doms who in turn care for and look after their subs.

Apologies if these points have been made, I didn't read the other responses lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most of the plastic-doms on here are clueless

Don't have a clue!! Let alone what the words BDSM means, let alone a rope artist, rigger!!! Hmmmm

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them "

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This! If the answer is 'what's that?' then they're a gonner!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

This is the lets pretend game...

Naturally doomiant people will try to take over, control or manipulate in every aspect of their lives.

Maybe it takes the right person to show them the ropes of the D/s scene... I don't know...

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

And I can't help but think that most of the "scene" have no idea what dominant means....

Ive always thought the samurai discovered the key to one person being dominant over others and it was calmness...

Which is when they incorporated zen into the bushido.

And the master of this was Miyamoto Mushashi, a man who declared himself invincible at the age of 26 and from that day forth never fought a duel with a live blade again.

He dominated his opponents using his natural ability, knowledge, skill and experience, using his wooden swords.... And he never lost.

He is the model.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

One last thought...

I used to be very good at sports and games in general.

My aim was always to dominate, to find their weakness and exploit it, to force them down a path they don't want to travel, one which won't break me but will take them to the brink.

That constant grind is the hallmark of a dominant, when a wolf stalks you through the woods it is to wear you down, to the point where you will give yourself to him... Or her...

Well... When I came across and opponent who was truly weak, was so beneath my skill level, I could nearly look at them, it was almost like I was repulsed by their weakness.

Yes I'm different now, I'm not a kid anymore, but I think back to that and can't help but think I chose to make the game easier for them, only to take it away in the end... They tasted power, but really they had already lost.

I could write a whole thesis on domination and the gamesmanship that follows with it, but I fear this is not the place.

So yeah, why not, what everybody else said sounds about standard for this kind of show.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,.........

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit.

Research and read self reflect and be honest with your self x

What do you mean, I am being honest but can't find anyone?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

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By *iverpoolad2000Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

"
hot pics I have to say

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

hot pics I have to say "

Haha, ta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iverpoolad2000Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

hot pics I have to say

Haha, ta

"
haha it's ok no worries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately dom is just a word like 'sub', 'cuckold', 'good' or 'bad' people define these things the way they want. A lot of subs define dom in the manner of the person they want to submit/play. It is not an universal constant. On fab there is a liking for fluffy doms. Last night l was at Subversion Noir and there are some very unfluffy doms out there.

I accept that kink is a broad church and all are welcome under its roof. Apart from some styles of cooking I do not believe there is one true way to do anything. But then l hold to the Alice Cooper No more mr nice guy school of kink, and given the choice of joining the queue for the ken and barbie lets not do anything that upsets the awfully nice middle class school of kink or joining the sick, twisted, irretrievably damned and going to hell queue, well ........hello Satan!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

Absolute tosh!!!

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

You are correct the sub sets the limits she lays out a frame work for her man to work with in .for his part you tries to keep things spicy and exciting as possible with in that said frame work.

He get off on this not because he's a taker but because he's a giver .your right because of the trust involved it is impossible to not form some sort of emotional attachment to each other how deep that emotional attachment goes depends on the two people involved and the circumstances of their Ives .

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

Absolute tosh!!!"

Explain dominated then?....

I'm almost certain you have never been in a situation where a real possibility exists...

The easiest way to understand this feeling is to go to somewhere like Canada & go bow hunting.

There is the very real possibility it is you who is being stalked, giving you no choice but to become the predator, well...... or be eaten.

But both feelings are emotions I'm almost 100% your leather pants brigade and rule spouting aficionados have no idea how to induce.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary...."

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else."

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Not really....

Nobody HAS to do anything.

In your world maybe, you colour between the lines and do as you're told.

But some of us see the rules as being there to be broken.

And I personally have no moral responsibility to anyone.

And further.... I have always found it is I who ends up protecting people from theirselves, they will want to go "too far" and I have to reign them back in.

But I'm not a "Dom".... I'm just a very, very good game player.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

Terror is abuse. If it is out of my control against my will it is abuse - I have suffered that, yes. I have also met men caused me to willingly cede control to them - that is my definition of a healthy, desirable dominance.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

You're talking from a male/female relationship dynamic, you may have suffered abuse.

Totally different.... Far too simplistic...

There is no such thing as "healthy" dominance though...

Itching it's just a tool we use to gain resources.

Which leads me down another path, I have always thought all "evil" is a tool, nothing more, you use it to "fix" the situations that tool is needed for.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say. "

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

You're talking from a male/female relationship dynamic, you may have suffered abuse.

Totally different.... Far too simplistic...

There is no such thing as "healthy" dominance though...

Itching it's just a tool we use to gain resources.

Which leads me down another path, I have always thought all "evil" is a tool, nothing more, you use it to "fix" the situations that tool is needed for."

I disagree.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe.... "

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it."

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter. "

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Your perception of truth maybe.

Ok... Let's throw a little bit of personal situation in there...

Very often myself and a female are playing and I will do whatever comes naturally, nothing fetishistic, then she a will, out of the blue call me "sir", "master", "daddy", I cringe...

Now what was previously simple, natural dominance...

Now she wants something else...

This happens with alarming regularity.

Now I acn do this with a few people, but not everyone, it's mentally exhausting to play those sorts of games.

To do what comes naturally is not exhausting at all.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion . "

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Your perception of truth maybe.

Ok... Let's throw a little bit of personal situation in there...

Very often myself and a female are playing and I will do whatever comes naturally, nothing fetishistic, then she a will, out of the blue call me "sir", "master", "daddy", I cringe...

Now what was previously simple, natural dominance...

Now she wants something else...

This happens with alarming regularity.

Now I acn do this with a few people, but not everyone, it's mentally exhausting to play those sorts of games.

To do what comes naturally is not exhausting at all."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me."

If someone used their safe word and asked you to stop, would you?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me.

If someone used their safe word and asked you to stop, would you?"

I'm not a dom, so often there is no need for one.

But.... Yes.... I always encourage them to use an intermediate word first though, count to ten, then use the safe word if they were not able to regain their composure.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't meet men who say they are A Dom,in the lifestyle and on the scene. When I've spoken to some they were set in their ways and reeled off their equipment and how they go about being a Dom. One I met brought a bag of toys and shoved a huge one inside me,very quickly,without me knowing it was going to happen. I love being dominated as I'm naturally passive,but without discussion it doesn't work for me.