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Dom diddly Dom

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To deep for a sat eve? X

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about. "

Maybe probably , do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about. "

Ohhhh it was sarcastic , as I said 'few will understand '

Oh we'll

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish."

Yes I agreed but that's not a true Dom/sub dynamic. Bdsm scene is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not terribly into the Dom/sub thing. With the right man it can come naturally but very rare.

I had the displeasure of a guy who thought it was sexy to try and ignore my very explicit wishes against his so called Dom moves. Never again.

Show some respect to your meet and reap the rewards. If you insist on being a douchebag - just remember women talk.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,........."

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i don't think it always has to have an emotional connection, trust is very important to me though and a lot of others i've noticed.

but yeah rough sex doesn't always = dominant. although it can be for some, and i know some guys just use BDSM terms to be lazy or because they want to be selfish.

Yes I agreed but that's not a true Dom/sub dynamic. Bdsm scene is different "

my dynamic would extend to more than just sex anyway. i want it all total domination of a person. that's why i haven't got very far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,.........

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit. "

Research and read self reflect and be honest with your self x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the plastic-doms on here are clueless

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

Well spoken..xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

id agree,,im sub,,but I'm in charge

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I'm yet to encounter a true Dom through fab so far it's just been guys that like rough sex and have no real clue about the scene so I completely understand where you're coming from.

I don't need to be in a relationship or love my Dom but I do need a connection with him by at least having a trusting friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's more Topping if it's casual. If I'm meeting, I'll try and make clear beforehand that I'd be a bottom rather than sub. But I'm still a sub, just not to someone I'm meeting for a single night of kinky fun.

So I would understand any guy considering himself a Dom, just not *your* Dom. Doesn't make him not a Dom.

And no, bottoms hold all the power. Subs hand it over to their Doms who in turn care for and look after their subs.

Apologies if these points have been made, I didn't read the other responses lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most of the plastic-doms on here are clueless "

Don't have a clue!! Let alone what the words BDSM means, let alone a rope artist, rigger!!! Hmmmm

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"

a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

Spot on

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them "

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them "

This! If the answer is 'what's that?' then they're a gonner!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

Definatley a sub does hold all the power and those limits should be respected at all times.

This is my own personal opinon a Dom should be there for the sub in what every way she requires him emotional & physical she is giving a gift and that should never be taken advantage off.

The assests a Dom should have again in my opinion are self control, understanding, patience and willingness to grow with his sub.

A Dom is nothing without his sub "

This is the lets pretend game...

Naturally doomiant people will try to take over, control or manipulate in every aspect of their lives.

Maybe it takes the right person to show them the ropes of the D/s scene... I don't know...

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

And I can't help but think that most of the "scene" have no idea what dominant means....

Ive always thought the samurai discovered the key to one person being dominant over others and it was calmness...

Which is when they incorporated zen into the bushido.

And the master of this was Miyamoto Mushashi, a man who declared himself invincible at the age of 26 and from that day forth never fought a duel with a live blade again.

He dominated his opponents using his natural ability, knowledge, skill and experience, using his wooden swords.... And he never lost.

He is the model.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

One last thought...

I used to be very good at sports and games in general.

My aim was always to dominate, to find their weakness and exploit it, to force them down a path they don't want to travel, one which won't break me but will take them to the brink.

That constant grind is the hallmark of a dominant, when a wolf stalks you through the woods it is to wear you down, to the point where you will give yourself to him... Or her...

Well... When I came across and opponent who was truly weak, was so beneath my skill level, I could nearly look at them, it was almost like I was repulsed by their weakness.

Yes I'm different now, I'm not a kid anymore, but I think back to that and can't help but think I chose to make the game easier for them, only to take it away in the end... They tasted power, but really they had already lost.

I could write a whole thesis on domination and the gamesmanship that follows with it, but I fear this is not the place.

So yeah, why not, what everybody else said sounds about standard for this kind of show.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex,.........

Yes, I am interested in that, would love to take primal play to my limit, but I'm not into most of the stuff that most would-be doms are after and have not found anyone to suit.

Research and read self reflect and be honest with your self x

"

What do you mean, I am being honest but can't find anyone?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

"

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iverpoolad2000Man
over a year ago

liverpool


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. "

hot pics I have to say

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. hot pics I have to say "

Haha, ta

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iverpoolad2000Man
over a year ago

liverpool


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. hot pics I have to say

Haha, ta "

haha it's ok no worries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately dom is just a word like 'sub', 'cuckold', 'good' or 'bad' people define these things the way they want. A lot of subs define dom in the manner of the person they want to submit/play. It is not an universal constant. On fab there is a liking for fluffy doms. Last night l was at Subversion Noir and there are some very unfluffy doms out there.

I accept that kink is a broad church and all are welcome under its roof. Apart from some styles of cooking I do not believe there is one true way to do anything. But then l hold to the Alice Cooper No more mr nice guy school of kink, and given the choice of joining the queue for the ken and barbie lets not do anything that upsets the awfully nice middle class school of kink or joining the sick, twisted, irretrievably damned and going to hell queue, well ........hello Satan!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. "

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

Absolute tosh!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

You are correct the sub sets the limits she lays out a frame work for her man to work with in .for his part you tries to keep things spicy and exciting as possible with in that said frame work.

He get off on this not because he's a taker but because he's a giver .your right because of the trust involved it is impossible to not form some sort of emotional attachment to each other how deep that emotional attachment goes depends on the two people involved and the circumstances of their Ives .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

Absolute tosh!!!"

Explain dominated then?....

I'm almost certain you have never been in a situation where a real possibility exists...

The easiest way to understand this feeling is to go to somewhere like Canada & go bow hunting.

There is the very real possibility it is you who is being stalked, giving you no choice but to become the predator, well...... or be eaten.

But both feelings are emotions I'm almost 100% your leather pants brigade and rule spouting aficionados have no idea how to induce.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary...."

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else."

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

"

Not really....

Nobody HAS to do anything.

In your world maybe, you colour between the lines and do as you're told.

But some of us see the rules as being there to be broken.

And I personally have no moral responsibility to anyone.

And further.... I have always found it is I who ends up protecting people from theirselves, they will want to go "too far" and I have to reign them back in.

But I'm not a "Dom".... I'm just a very, very good game player.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough."

Terror is abuse. If it is out of my control against my will it is abuse - I have suffered that, yes. I have also met men caused me to willingly cede control to them - that is my definition of a healthy, desirable dominance.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

"

Naturally abusive I would say.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

"

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

Terror is abuse. If it is out of my control against my will it is abuse - I have suffered that, yes. I have also met men caused me to willingly cede control to them - that is my definition of a healthy, desirable dominance. "

You're talking from a male/female relationship dynamic, you may have suffered abuse.

Totally different.... Far too simplistic...

There is no such thing as "healthy" dominance though...

Itching it's just a tool we use to gain resources.

Which leads me down another path, I have always thought all "evil" is a tool, nothing more, you use it to "fix" the situations that tool is needed for.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say. "

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

Terror is abuse. If it is out of my control against my will it is abuse - I have suffered that, yes. I have also met men caused me to willingly cede control to them - that is my definition of a healthy, desirable dominance.

You're talking from a male/female relationship dynamic, you may have suffered abuse.

Totally different.... Far too simplistic...

There is no such thing as "healthy" dominance though...

Itching it's just a tool we use to gain resources.

Which leads me down another path, I have always thought all "evil" is a tool, nothing more, you use it to "fix" the situations that tool is needed for."

I disagree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe.... "

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it."

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter. "

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Your perception of truth maybe.

Ok... Let's throw a little bit of personal situation in there...

Very often myself and a female are playing and I will do whatever comes naturally, nothing fetishistic, then she a will, out of the blue call me "sir", "master", "daddy", I cringe...

Now what was previously simple, natural dominance...

Now she wants something else...

This happens with alarming regularity.

Now I acn do this with a few people, but not everyone, it's mentally exhausting to play those sorts of games.

To do what comes naturally is not exhausting at all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion . "

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest.

It's the laws of the jungle... You've simply never been dominated, if you've never been dominated...

But you may have been "dommed" which is what most in the "scene" mean...

It's the edge of terror while it's happening, theirs nothing you can do to stop the cycle, it's total loss of control...

That kind of defeat comes to us all at some point & if it hasn't, then you haven pushed your skills far enough.

I've read some of your posts and just think

'The edge of terror' that sounds like an enjoyable experience.....not!!!!

I don't know too much about the dom/sub thing but I'm sure it shouldn't be scary....

I think you're right the "Dom/sub" thing shouldn't be scary...

All I'm saying is don't confuse it with dominance...

Going back to the original post, the reason most guys (in particular) revert to hair pulling and slapping, is because they are naturally dominant & don't know how to play this "D/s" game.

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Your perception of truth maybe.

Ok... Let's throw a little bit of personal situation in there...

Very often myself and a female are playing and I will do whatever comes naturally, nothing fetishistic, then she a will, out of the blue call me "sir", "master", "daddy", I cringe...

Now what was previously simple, natural dominance...

Now she wants something else...

This happens with alarming regularity.

Now I acn do this with a few people, but not everyone, it's mentally exhausting to play those sorts of games.

To do what comes naturally is not exhausting at all."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

"

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This sounds more like narcissistic abuse to be honest. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me."

If someone used their safe word and asked you to stop, would you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotio:nal bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx

There is naturally dominant, where an individual may like to assert themselves over another in different ways... This may be pulling hair, spanking, gagging etc...

Then there's a "Dom/Domme" that's the stereotypical BDSM, D/s scenario playing or lyfestyler....

Then there's something else...

In this case the sub certainly doesn't have power, the game is rigged, moves are planned far ahead of time and like a wolf wearing down its prey, the "sub" is constantly tripped up, disorientated, forced to confront an image of themselves they may not like...

Personality is stripped bare, emotions toyed with...

This is more like D/o... Where "o" is the opponent... You never allow your opponent to achieve power, only the illusion of it, give them hope and reign them in...

It's total helplessness and the loss of your thoughts to someone else.

Alas this is all very hard work, which is why the naturally "dominant" side is displayed, but little else.

Absolute rubbish .......even in a scenario you listed the sub would have had to give consent to play in such a way and because of this fact holds the power because with one word from them the game is other .

In fact because of the high and change of mental state a sub can experience during certain types of play you have a moral responsibility as the dom to make sure you don't go to far .

Oh... And how is the "safe word" the definition of power?

I can say "I quit" on Monday morning at my work, does this make me the most powerful person at my company?

Power is another word that may be far more nuanced than we believe....

Oh my god it has power because you bloody well respect the subs wish for you to ease off or stop.

When its used you stop question and follow their wishes what ever they maybe end of discussion .

Nope... It's not the end of discussion...

If you can't discuss your own "rules" and you expect to be given "power" over another, yet can't communicate further without frustration?

Huge question mark.

And yes, the word may have a small amount of "power" but so does "fuck you boss!", that's not enough of an explanation of any kind of power exchange for me.

If someone used their safe word and asked you to stop, would you?"

I'm not a dom, so often there is no need for one.

But.... Yes.... I always encourage them to use an intermediate word first though, count to ten, then use the safe word if they were not able to regain their composure.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

"

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't meet men who say they are A Dom,in the lifestyle and on the scene. When I've spoken to some they were set in their ways and reeled off their equipment and how they go about being a Dom. One I met brought a bag of toys and shoved a huge one inside me,very quickly,without me knowing it was going to happen. I love being dominated as I'm naturally passive,but without discussion it doesn't work for me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me."

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me."

I don't. But neither do I want to meet someone abusive. There is a healthy self-love and self-confidence of course, but a full blown narcissist is a severely dysfunctional person, and their lack of empathy, and therefore respect, makes them dangerous and often abusive, all the while believing they are simply unique and superior. I fear you may have sailed over that line.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to avoid guys who call themselves Dom, naturally Dom, Masters etc whether it is on here or other sites. Having been in a relationship with one I have no desire to go there again.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Perhaps people don't know what you are talking about.

Maybe probably , do you? "

Think the answer is in my last veri lady

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me.

I don't. But neither do I want to meet someone abusive. There is a healthy self-love and self-confidence of course, but a full blown narcissist is a severely dysfunctional person, and their lack of empathy, and therefore respect, makes them dangerous and often abusive, all the while believing they are simply unique and superior. I fear you may have sailed over that line."

I have always been subjective and had little empathy, but that equation does not equal lack of respect.

In fact I would say my respect for others, their opinions and differences is far better developed than most others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me."

I've actually learnt a lot reading your perspective and having been in what I now believe your coined 'D/o' scenario, it's given me a better understanding as to reasons that unbeknownst to me at the time, now make sense as to certain behaviours and actions he took!! Fascinating... And, although I endured a lot of mental suffering (he knew my 'Achilles Heel' was my Emotional Intelligence), the key lesson I took away was I grew from it and I am now much stronger, a better 'opponent' perhaps? Although I do feel I would never wish to play that particular game again..

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me.

I don't. But neither do I want to meet someone abusive. There is a healthy self-love and self-confidence of course, but a full blown narcissist is a severely dysfunctional person, and their lack of empathy, and therefore respect, makes them dangerous and often abusive, all the while believing they are simply unique and superior. I fear you may have sailed over that line.

I have always been subjective and had little empathy, but that equation does not equal lack of respect.

In fact I would say my respect for others, their opinions and differences is far better developed than most others.

"

Intellectually maybe, but without empathy I would not trust, empathy is what gives the 'feel' that knows how to delight my senses and assures me of my safety. Without that feel a total loss of control would certainly be terrifying, and I have no interest in that - though I am sure there are women who actually seek what is abusive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


" And, although I endured a lot of mental suffering (he knew my 'Achilles Heel' was my Emotional Intelligence), the key lesson I took away was I grew from it and I am now much stronger, a better 'opponent' perhaps? Although I do feel I would never wish to play that particular game again..

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic! "

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other."

Very true, although I do feel my outlook has changed somewhat, and I fear in future my wariness will no doubt incorporate his narcissistic tendencies, it's 'Self-Preservation' ...I'd never put myself in that situation again!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arker66Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them

"

Yes yes yes!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Naturally abusive I would say.

You would, that's just where you're at with it.

Maybe, or maybe it is an accurate perception of the truth of the matter.

"Truth" you're not now saying that your word is the absolute definition on a subject are you?

Did I say that?? No, I am saying that there is a truth to the matter and it may well be that I perceive it. To be dominant does not mean to inflict pain - that's just where a lot of people go with it.

I would not dream of calling anyone sir or master, that to me is a silly game and I have no interest in games, only natural primal dynamics.

I love games and see this whole universe as my playground....

But I concur.... There is a kitschy aspect that comes with the stereotypical monikers.

"Primal dynamics" now that's a good way to sum up the connection between the people involved....

The second part is creating the atmosphere, it has to be authentic... Which I think is where it starts to fall apart... If the "sub" has total "power" then an authentic atmosphere is impossible....

I agree, but I don't know if people simply mean 'the power of veto' or not. If I cede control I do not have it, but I have to trust that if I say 'no' that will be instantly respected.

There are two questions to my mind, one is whether or not a man has a vibe and a manner that will cause me to yield control to him, and the second is where will he take me once I do?

As far as I can see most people in the bdsm world want to go somewhere abusive, and I have no interest in that. Some of the words you use suggest that you are of that ilk, and I am sure there are many sadistic narcissists calling themselves dom.

I think the difference between the two is largely empathy - empathy and respect are essential to me.

I may be of that ilk... You just never know.

And I have never see anything wrong with narcissism or the ego, they are just part of being human & being human is very interesting...

That trust that your wishes are respected is one power exchange, respecting them at the moment you want is another...

But to think that there is simply a power dump from the Dom to the sub always seems simplistic and intellectually blunt to me.

I don't. But neither do I want to meet someone abusive. There is a healthy self-love and self-confidence of course, but a full blown narcissist is a severely dysfunctional person, and their lack of empathy, and therefore respect, makes them dangerous and often abusive, all the while believing they are simply unique and superior. I fear you may have sailed over that line.

I have always been subjective and had little empathy, but that equation does not equal lack of respect.

In fact I would say my respect for others, their opinions and differences is far better developed than most others.

Intellectually maybe, but without empathy I would not trust, empathy is what gives the 'feel' that knows how to delight my senses and assures me of my safety. Without that feel a total loss of control would certainly be terrifying, and I have no interest in that - though I am sure there are women who actually seek what is abusive."

It's not always abusive to be terrified...

We all seek out those situations... Horror movies, swimming with sharks, claiming sheer peaks...

There is an art to it... It's unseen, unintrusive restraint.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other."

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Further to my earlier post. I have always been brought up to respect women.

As I have grown and my sexual preferences have developed that has not changed in which ever aspect i meet a woman i do not stray from my core values. You are a person first before anything else my equal and that always remains so.

In addition being Dom for me means self control.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

It's not always abusive to be terrified...

We all seek out those situations... Horror movies, swimming with sharks, claiming sheer peaks...

"

No we don't!! And even when people do it does not make it healthy, though everyone has free choice of course, we all chase our own dragons.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist...."

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc."

sociopaths and psychopaths can have empathy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist...."

empaths can be narcissistic but they would recognise it and are not narcissists. i know i have some tendencies to be like my dad but i'm aware of what i'm doing and feel bad about it and would apologise.

everyone has narcissistic tendencies if they have a sense of self. most are harmless enough and some are necessary.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

It's not always abusive to be terrified...

We all seek out those situations... Horror movies, swimming with sharks, claiming sheer peaks...

No we don't!! And even when people do it does not make it healthy, though everyone has free choice of course, we all chase our own dragons."

You cx t say it's unhealthy to want to test yourself agains fear... As a race humans would go nowhere if that's the case...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as some of the so called doms on here that think they can send orders in a first message and you will roll over and do as you're told.

It's the fantasy of being a dom to most of them and the desire to try and play it out via a screen rather than reality.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc."

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

"

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons."

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy. "

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

and if you can mimic being what they want then you've pretty much set up the whole thing.

personality disorders exploit a lot of things in others, there is no feeling what the other person feels. there is just prediction of how other people work and react to situations.

of course some people don't care at all and can do what they want without all the above, and they're the ones we usually think of as sociopaths, etc. but believe me a lot of people are this without being so obvious about it but they also do not feel anything, or can at least switch it off to get what they want when they want it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The complexities of being a dom and a sub......who would embark on such a journey ?

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire


"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them "

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours."

This is where it becomes text book... The above sounds like it might be reasonable...

But it isn't... "All you have to do" & "just" are where ma kinds problems start, they take a complex undertaking and try to distill it down to anyone can do it...

And suggest it takes a certain kind of person... Well in some respects it's right.

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

And learning how to "entrap" someone or indeed something is not that easy... Try game fishing.

And I suppose you could say the wolf who stalks its prey for days through the forest, getting just close enough to make its presence felt, but not so close it wastes energy, the way it guides its prey deeper into the trees, till it realises it's lost... Maybe, just maybe when that prey lays down, it thinks "I want it to eat me"...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is without doubt my thread of the day. I'm enjoying the to-ing and fro-ing. My own two pennorth. What SBTG has described is one of my favourite types of D/s games. Or D/o. Whatever. I enjoy pitting wills against someone, even if I know I have already lost, it's about how I lose that's enjoyable. It's not abuse, it's not non-consensual, it's a game, and a very fun one at that. Consent is given by the very fact that you continue playing. Nothing stops you from getting off the ride at any point (though the adrenaline can keep you on it a little longer than you expect!) Some of us are natural thrill seekers and there is nothing that I can see wrong with that. Buuut...it is not for everyone. Just like the traditional slave/master or sub/dom dynamics rarely work for me. I wouldn't judge someone for the dynamic they choose.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

You cx t say it's unhealthy to want to test yourself agains fear... As a race humans would go nowhere if that's the case..."

Nonsense - you spoke of terror - we can all live without terror!

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy. "

I cant decide if srs....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy.

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

and if you can mimic being what they want then you've pretty much set up the whole thing.

personality disorders exploit a lot of things in others, there is no feeling what the other person feels. there is just prediction of how other people work and react to situations.

of course some people don't care at all and can do what they want without all the above, and they're the ones we usually think of as sociopaths, etc. but believe me a lot of people are this without being so obvious about it but they also do not feel anything, or can at least switch it off to get what they want when they want it."

Also... Here's a question...

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"It's more Topping if it's casual. If I'm meeting, I'll try and make clear beforehand that I'd be a bottom rather than sub. But I'm still a sub, just not to someone I'm meeting for a single night of kinky fun.

So I would understand any guy considering himself a Dom, just not *your* Dom. Doesn't make him not a Dom.

And no, bottoms hold all the power. Subs hand it over to their Doms who in turn care for and look after their subs.

Apologies if these points have been made, I didn't read the other responses lol"

Many confuse top and bottoming with D/s. Separate things.

I'm a hard wired Domme and fully aware that I'm not in charge, but in control.

Many 50 Shades of Shit fantasists get a plastic whip and furry cuffs and call themselves Madters when BDSM is primarily about the mind. They're too lazy and arrogant to learn and should be avoided at ALL costs. I've seen too many needy sub females get caught up in abusive situations with these dicks

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

You cx t say it's unhealthy to want to test yourself agains fear... As a race humans would go nowhere if that's the case...

Nonsense - you spoke of terror - we can all live without terror!"

No we can't ALL...

Every year I go to Canada and I love nothing more than taking a snowmobile out into the wilderness...

Every now and then it gets stuck...

I have never been stuck in deep powder, but the thought is truly terrifying... I love it!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

Amen!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to find a loving dom

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy.

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

and if you can mimic being what they want then you've pretty much set up the whole thing.

personality disorders exploit a lot of things in others, there is no feeling what the other person feels. there is just prediction of how other people work and react to situations.

"

Well stated. Of course there are degrees in everything, but the true narc only mimics the emotions others feel.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"This is without doubt my thread of the day. I'm enjoying the to-ing and fro-ing. My own two pennorth. What SBTG has described is one of my favourite types of D/s games. Or D/o. Whatever. I enjoy pitting wills against someone, even if I know I have already lost, it's about how I lose that's enjoyable. It's not abuse, it's not non-consensual, it's a game, and a very fun one at that. Consent is given by the very fact that you continue playing. Nothing stops you from getting off the ride at any point (though the adrenaline can keep you on it a little longer than you expect!) Some of us are natural thrill seekers and there is nothing that I can see wrong with that. Buuut...it is not for everyone. Just like the traditional slave/master or sub/dom dynamics rarely work for me. I wouldn't judge someone for the dynamic they choose."

Interesting... I call this the "alpha dance", it's almost like two animals circling and testing each other for supremacy...

Only being humans and therefore complex creatures, one of us wants to lose, I think people would call that the "sub", but they are not really, in reality they would eat most Doms alive...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I think some people, men and women, use the titles as an excuse for abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is without doubt my thread of the day. I'm enjoying the to-ing and fro-ing. My own two pennorth. What SBTG has described is one of my favourite types of D/s games. Or D/o. Whatever. I enjoy pitting wills against someone, even if I know I have already lost, it's about how I lose that's enjoyable. It's not abuse, it's not non-consensual, it's a game, and a very fun one at that. Consent is given by the very fact that you continue playing. Nothing stops you from getting off the ride at any point (though the adrenaline can keep you on it a little longer than you expect!) Some of us are natural thrill seekers and there is nothing that I can see wrong with that. Buuut...it is not for everyone. Just like the traditional slave/master or sub/dom dynamics rarely work for me. I wouldn't judge someone for the dynamic they choose.

Interesting... I call this the "alpha dance", it's almost like two animals circling and testing each other for supremacy...

Only being humans and therefore complex creatures, one of us wants to lose, I think people would call that the "sub", but they are not really, in reality they would eat most Doms alive..."

Doesnt that show that a sub (not in all cases) has more strength than a Dom

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

This is where it becomes text book... The above sounds like it might be reasonable...

But it isn't... "All you have to do" & "just" are where ma kinds problems start, they take a complex undertaking and try to distill it down to anyone can do it...

And suggest it takes a certain kind of person... Well in some respects it's right.

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

And learning how to "entrap" someone or indeed something is not that easy... Try game fishing.

And I suppose you could say the wolf who stalks its prey for days through the forest, getting just close enough to make its presence felt, but not so close it wastes energy, the way it guides its prey deeper into the trees, till it realises it's lost... Maybe, just maybe when that prey lays down, it thinks "I want it to eat me"...?

"

wear something down and it's easy prey for anyone. so it's not always all the narcs doing, although someone with a PD can set up behavioural patterns in anyone so that that all predators will be able to take advantage easily enough.

even your average person can become prey if not fully aware of what is going on.

you don't need to be intelligent to predate. you need to be observant, and manipulative, and have a compliant prey.

that really all there is too it.

i'd say survivors of predators have to become the better observers, their empathy can place them into someone elses shoes and make excuses but eventually their own common sense will tell them something is not right here, this person is not like me at all. i wouldn't even be able to do *whatever* and then react the way they do. and eventually you learn that not everyone has empathy and they cannot see you in the same way that you see them.

and the wearing down bit? luckily most predators cannot be bothered and will go looking for the easy prey (they're opportunists mostly), they usually have a lot of supplies because the prey soon gets tired of their shit and won't put up with it. but they invest a bit of energy is seeking out sources of supply. the better supply they are, the harder they will let go and will manipulate them. but mostly they want an easy life so won't put in any effort if they really have to. but yeah it's more complicated then this even - as i believe they do not live in reality, so fuck knows what's going on in their head half the time but some stuff is very obvious.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

You cx t say it's unhealthy to want to test yourself agains fear... As a race humans would go nowhere if that's the case...

Nonsense - you spoke of terror - we can all live without terror!

No we can't ALL...

Every year I go to Canada and I love nothing more than taking a snowmobile out into the wilderness...

Every now and then it gets stuck...

I have never been stuck in deep powder, but the thought is truly terrifying... I love it!!"

Not quite the same thing hun. And you started by saying we ALL need to be terrified, watch horror movies etc. No we don't. Some of us like taking risk more than others, I am a risk taker myself, but that does not mean terror - an excitement, a thrill, sure, but not terror. I do exciting things with some very dangerous horses, but if I felt terror I should stop, it would unhealthy for me and the horse would sense it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy.

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

and if you can mimic being what they want then you've pretty much set up the whole thing.

personality disorders exploit a lot of things in others, there is no feeling what the other person feels. there is just prediction of how other people work and react to situations.

Well stated. Of course there are degrees in everything, but the true narc only mimics the emotions others feel."

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

You cx t say it's unhealthy to want to test yourself agains fear... As a race humans would go nowhere if that's the case...

Nonsense - you spoke of terror - we can all live without terror!

No we can't ALL...

Every year I go to Canada and I love nothing more than taking a snowmobile out into the wilderness...

Every now and then it gets stuck...

I have never been stuck in deep powder, but the thought is truly terrifying... I love it!!

Not quite the same thing hun. And you started by saying we ALL need to be terrified, watch horror movies etc. No we don't. Some of us like taking risk more than others, I am a risk taker myself, but that does not mean terror - an excitement, a thrill, sure, but not terror. I do exciting things with some very dangerous horses, but if I felt terror I should stop, it would unhealthy for me and the horse would sense it."

The thought of freezing to death in the wilderness and eaten in my sleep by wild animals does not terrify me?....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also... Here's a question...

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?"

it's called a disorder because:

personality disorder

nounPSYCHIATRY

a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behaviour of a specified kind, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.

these people are not functioning in a way that psychology feels is beneficial to themselves, others, or society.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are right, some people do view 'Domination' tactically and as a sport.. It can be a dangerous game though and definitely narcissistic!

And sadly the empath and the narcissist are often strongly drawn to each other.

Sadly... Or maybe interestingly... The empath is a narcissist....

We can all be self-centred or even self-absorbed of course, but a narc by very definition lacks empathy, so an empath cannot BE a narc.

A narcissist can of cause have empathy... I have never met or heard of a completely one dimensional person.

I think if you pick a characteristic, label someone and stick with it, you will never understand people & for those that do this, they expose their own latent belief that they have the "right", "good" character traits, we should all aspire to. In turn exposing their own latent narcissism.

It's similar to the liberals who are moaning about racists at the moment...

Where were they the last 20 years when kids were getting stabbed in alleyways, they didn't care... Because it couldn't be used to forward their own agenda, exposing their real thoughts, through their past inaction.

thy really don't. they cannot place themselves into someone elses shoes because all people are only an extension of themselves. they're either useful to them or not and no emotions like love are there. people are like toasters to them, they either work and are useful so kept, or they are broken and don't work for them so are discarded.

this is why narcissists, and other personality disordered people, get away with what they do. because normal people do not understand how PDs work and we empathise with them and make up excuse as to why they are the way they are but they really are drones or automatons.

If that was true, they would get nowhere...

A wolf is such an efficient hunter because it feels the emotions of its prey...

You can't be a predator if you can't interpret emotions.

It's a typical human belief that everything is binary.

It's not... It can't be... people just want it to be that way, cause it's easy.

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

and if you can mimic being what they want then you've pretty much set up the whole thing.

personality disorders exploit a lot of things in others, there is no feeling what the other person feels. there is just prediction of how other people work and react to situations.

Well stated. Of course there are degrees in everything, but the true narc only mimics the emotions others feel.

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?"

i was brought up by a narc. i know i have narc tendencies, i also know when it's harmful to use them so don't. i also know how to use them to keep me safe.

i have empathy. i fully understand how pD work and can harm others and do not feel justified to harm anyone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

"

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

you just have to be observant to predate. learn patterns that will give you and advantage.

you can learn how to entrap someone to get them to become your prey. you won't even have to hunt them down, all you have to do is make them want to be yours.

This is where it becomes text book... The above sounds like it might be reasonable...

But it isn't... "All you have to do" & "just" are where ma kinds problems start, they take a complex undertaking and try to distill it down to anyone can do it...

And suggest it takes a certain kind of person... Well in some respects it's right.

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

And learning how to "entrap" someone or indeed something is not that easy... Try game fishing.

And I suppose you could say the wolf who stalks its prey for days through the forest, getting just close enough to make its presence felt, but not so close it wastes energy, the way it guides its prey deeper into the trees, till it realises it's lost... Maybe, just maybe when that prey lays down, it thinks "I want it to eat me"...?

wear something down and it's easy prey for anyone. so it's not always all the narcs doing, although someone with a PD can set up behavioural patterns in anyone so that that all predators will be able to take advantage easily enough.

even your average person can become prey if not fully aware of what is going on.

you don't need to be intelligent to predate. you need to be observant, and manipulative, and have a compliant prey.

that really all there is too it.

i'd say survivors of predators have to become the better observers, their empathy can place them into someone elses shoes and make excuses but eventually their own common sense will tell them something is not right here, this person is not like me at all. i wouldn't even be able to do *whatever* and then react the way they do. and eventually you learn that not everyone has empathy and they cannot see you in the same way that you see them.

and the wearing down bit? luckily most predators cannot be bothered and will go looking for the easy prey (they're opportunists mostly), they usually have a lot of supplies because the prey soon gets tired of their shit and won't put up with it. but they invest a bit of energy is seeking out sources of supply. the better supply they are, the harder they will let go and will manipulate them. but mostly they want an easy life so won't put in any effort if they really have to. but yeah it's more complicated then this even - as i believe they do not live in reality, so fuck knows what's going on in their head half the time but some stuff is very obvious."

Hmmmmm I'm now thinking we should all ditch our empathy...

It sounds to me like a world full of narcissists, if a purely narcassistic person could be found, would be far more efficient and effective...

It's beginning to sound like the perfect commercial operative.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?"

Haha, typical narcissitic grandiosity and belief in superiority!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Also... Here's a question...

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?

it's called a disorder because:

personality disorder

nounPSYCHIATRY

a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behaviour of a specified kind, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.

these people are not functioning in a way that psychology feels is beneficial to themselves, others, or society."

No... Completely wrong... What you mean is...

These people are not functiong in a way the the social construct of what we know as society feels is beneficial to themselves and others....

In other words... What someone has decided they and you should be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?

Haha, typical narcissitic grandiosity and belief in superiority!"

And a typical grandiose opinion of someone else from a question presented....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?"

Nice attempt at gaslighting there hun - classic narc technique

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all."

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmmmm I'm now thinking we should all ditch our empathy...

It sounds to me like a world full of narcissists, if a purely narcassistic person could be found, would be far more efficient and effective...

It's beginning to sound like the perfect commercial operative. "

when people say the world is being run by psychopaths it really is true.

people are selfish primarily, you wouldn't be able to survive if you weren't. but without empathy you cannot understand other people and can only care about yourself. quite a lonely way to live i think, and PDs can't stand this emptiness and need to manipulate other to feel something, anything. they don't even care if they get negative attention as long as they're getting attention.

and i personally think that's sad, but only because i don't want to feel like they do and can feel other feelings they cannot.

it's not known if you can cure anyone with PD but it is though they don't want to change either. so they're happy in their world but the more emotionally intelligent know there is something different out there, better emotions and feelings and we know how to deal with this. they do not and might not even be able to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?

Haha, typical narcissitic grandiosity and belief in superiority!

And a typical grandiose opinion of someone else from a question presented...."

Not my opinion hun - I am merely quoting the accepted psyche profession definitions:

Full blown narcissism, or Malignant Self Love as Sam Vaknin so aptly terms it, is the very antithesis of healthy, and completely essential self-love of the kind that produces self-respect, self-care, etc, etc.

True NPD is based in self-loathing to the extent that an entirely false persona has been constructed, and must be constantly maintained by admiration from others, who become little more than objects of 'source' to perpetuate the delusion.

The diagnostic criteria are generally listed as a majority of the following traits:

Needing constant admiration

Inability to empathise which leads to being....

Manipulative and exploitative of others

Fantacising about success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.

Claims of being unique and superior

Sense of entitlement to special treatment therefore

Jealous of others and believing others are jealous of them

Grandiose, pompous and arrogant behaviour

.

By the time someone has full blown NPD they are pretty delusional in my opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?

Nice attempt at gaslighting there hun - classic narc technique "

The strangest thing is by answering the way you just have you're doing the same... And even worse... You know so!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?

Nice attempt at gaslighting there hun - classic narc technique

The strangest thing is by answering the way you just have you're doing the same... And even worse... You know so!"

Not in the slightest - google it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters."

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again what's a true "narc".... No offence but yourself maybe?

You are attempting to prescribe the rules for narcissism and your posts suggest you feel you are an authority on what a "narc" is...?

Surly this level of belief goes to the very heart of what a narcissist it...

Just saying?

Nice attempt at gaslighting there hun - classic narc technique

The strangest thing is by answering the way you just have you're doing the same... And even worse... You know so!"

lol, projection. google that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustanhonestblokeMan
over a year ago

northampton


"I find a good way to wrestle out the true find is to ask them what they do to help you through the "sub drop" stage most have no clue how to answer because they don't understand, it's just tough selfish sex to them "

Sub drop is when a real Dom/Domme show their true colours .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head..... "

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Maybe instead of PD, it should be called a "personality order" for what you describe sounds like it takes the utmost discipline, skill, planning and awearness of your own limitations... Only the supremely ordered could possibly achieve this.

Is the classification wrong?

Haha, typical narcissitic grandiosity and belief in superiority!

And a typical grandiose opinion of someone else from a question presented....

Not my opinion hun - I am merely quoting the accepted psyche profession definitions:

Full blown narcissism, or Malignant Self Love as Sam Vaknin so aptly terms it, is the very antithesis of healthy, and completely essential self-love of the kind that produces self-respect, self-care, etc, etc.

True NPD is based in self-loathing to the extent that an entirely false persona has been constructed, and must be constantly maintained by admiration from others, who become little more than objects of 'source' to perpetuate the delusion.

The diagnostic criteria are generally listed as a majority of the following traits:

Needing constant admiration

Inability to empathise which leads to being....

Manipulative and exploitative of others

Fantacising about success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.

Claims of being unique and superior

Sense of entitlement to special treatment therefore

Jealous of others and believing others are jealous of them

Grandiose, pompous and arrogant behaviour

.

By the time someone has full blown NPD they are pretty delusional in my opinion."

And there we go....

A social construct if ever I saw one:

"Not my opinion hun - I am merely quoting the accepted psyche profession definitions:"

"They" have decided what you should believe, they have shaped society and it's norms, at least in the West to rules they have constructed over time.

Some of us have to question this... We may be wrong, but it has to be done.

Since the advent of the camera phone, many previous "facts" and opinions have been dispelled, due to documented evidence, you can't always trust social constructs.

And simply, things just change over time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills."

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun! "

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

"They" have decided what you should believe,

"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

I am sure they constantly question their own definitions, but NPD is a very up-to-date one and is totally observable - even on one forum thread on a sex site!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head.... "

Ha ha... You were in Western Europe, well equipped and not hungry... But ok

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?"

Gaslighting!! This is observable - anyone who reads Feir over time on these forums can see how straight talking she is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?"

i will protect myself to a degree, but otherwise i am quite happy to be open and honest.

why do you think i'm lying?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

"They" have decided what you should believe,

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

I am sure they constantly question their own definitions, but NPD is a very up-to-date one and is totally observable - even on one forum thread on a sex site!"

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

We are getting into thread ending territory....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head..... "

nope. this is not trolling, trust me.

my last ex tried to convince me that i'd hacked his skype and had spent the previous 9 months talking to myself on skype, camming myself, everything.

this is something very unique you are witnessing today. not so unique on fab though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

i will protect myself to a degree, but otherwise i am quite happy to be open and honest.

why do you think i'm lying?"

No.... But I would never take your word for that...

I find your insights intriguing...

And of cause, the first rule is to protect yourself, only then can you help others, even if that does mean a spot of truth bending...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head....

Ha ha... You were in Western Europe, well equipped and not hungry... But ok"

Define "well equipped"... I've seen the bows that they use for hunting - although in my case it was wild pigs in Texas and they are pretty sophisticated bits of kit.

I've caught rabbits with nothing more than wire and wool in my time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

Gaslighting!! This is observable - anyone who reads Feir over time on these forums can see how straight talking she is."

Couldnt agree more its only 8 weeks in this incarnation but i have always founf Feir to straight talking.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

i will protect myself to a degree, but otherwise i am quite happy to be open and honest.

why do you think i'm lying?

No.... But I would never take your word for that...

I find your insights intriguing...

And of cause, the first rule is to protect yourself, only then can you help others, even if that does mean a spot of truth bending..."

Really ive never protected myself to help others infact the very opposite i have risked myself my feeling to help others i dont do it for my benefit

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head....

Ha ha... You were in Western Europe, well equipped and not hungry... But ok

Define "well equipped"... I've seen the bows that they use for hunting - although in my case it was wild pigs in Texas and they are pretty sophisticated bits of kit.

I've caught rabbits with nothing more than wire and wool in my time. "

Yep compound bows are pretty sophisticated... But it was more to illustrate the possibly of losing to the animal if you miss...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

"

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

i will protect myself to a degree, but otherwise i am quite happy to be open and honest.

why do you think i'm lying?

No.... But I would never take your word for that...

I find your insights intriguing...

And of cause, the first rule is to protect yourself, only then can you help others, even if that does mean a spot of truth bending...

Really ive never protected myself to help others infact the very opposite i have risked myself my feeling to help others i dont do it for my benefit "

Never...

The whole point of that fucking they give you on the airplane is to make sure you save yourself before your child!

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse."

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head....

Ha ha... You were in Western Europe, well equipped and not hungry... But ok

Define "well equipped"... I've seen the bows that they use for hunting - although in my case it was wild pigs in Texas and they are pretty sophisticated bits of kit.

I've caught rabbits with nothing more than wire and wool in my time.

Yep compound bows are pretty sophisticated... But it was more to illustrate the possibly of losing to the animal if you miss..."

Don't miss then.

Beleieve me, the easiest way to miss is to start thinking about the animal in the crosshairs. I've seen more than one grown man shake visibly/find they can't take the shot (and thats ok, by the way), especially when it's deer we are talking about, they just seem to "get" people. You can't be thinking about any of that, it's just a target - think about where you are placing the shot and that alone.

Also, in the past, poor hungry people used a wolf derivative to obtain deer.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

"

Ok... Thought you quoted something from a medical journal or something....

And as much as I respect professionals... The only real discipline in the universe is mathematics...

And even that can be questioned to a certain extent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"I can't decide if this is one of the best trolls I've ever read. It's got full on characterisation and even attempts suspense...

Or batshit.

I do like the idea that to hunt an animal you must "become like wolf" and get in it's head.....

Or get a lamp and a shotgun!

I've hunted most things in my time, and not just on the lamp (apart from fox, on a horse, I'm not that class of person), which includes stalking deer (albeit not with a bow), and shooting rabbits as a kid with an airgun (this is pertinent because you really have to get within 20 yards of one to kill it).. And at no time did I wear down my prey and try to get in its head....

Ha ha... You were in Western Europe, well equipped and not hungry... But ok

Define "well equipped"... I've seen the bows that they use for hunting - although in my case it was wild pigs in Texas and they are pretty sophisticated bits of kit.

I've caught rabbits with nothing more than wire and wool in my time.

Yep compound bows are pretty sophisticated... But it was more to illustrate the possibly of losing to the animal if you miss...

Don't miss then.

Beleieve me, the easiest way to miss is to start thinking about the animal in the crosshairs. I've seen more than one grown man shake visibly/find they can't take the shot (and thats ok, by the way), especially when it's deer we are talking about, they just seem to "get" people. You can't be thinking about any of that, it's just a target - think about where you are placing the shot and that alone.

Also, in the past, poor hungry people used a wolf derivative to obtain deer. "

Yeah I forget what point I was trying to make myself now...?

But it was something to do with animals and ideas not being perfect...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse.

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love."

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

Ok... Thought you quoted something from a medical journal or something....

And as much as I respect professionals... The only real discipline in the universe is mathematics...

And even that can be questioned to a certain extent."

You still haven't understood - the clinical descriptions were an exact match for that which I already knew to be true. I experienced the truth before reading the theory - I did not have to believe it true, I already knew it to be true, I just found out the professional name for the familiar, observable pattern.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?"

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But the person it takes to observe and copy the most complex patterns has the characteristics and intelligence most of us can only dream of...

As Feir said nonsense - it's an instinctive drive and an an emotional imperative, a survival skill learned over a lifetime. A narc needs his source and the source thinks they need the narc, so they are inexorably drawn to each other, they recognise each other totally unconsciously, their patterns of damage simply mirror each other is all.

Are they drawn to each other?

Some people are just drawn to anything they think glitters.

yes they manipulate your empathy. by being so 'open' about themselves we find it highly attractive because we are also open (but also honest).

we never get worn down by caring for others because that is the empaths nature, we fundamentally care.

this makes us very vulnerable though. i've been working on my bitch skills.

Again...

"because we are also open (but also honest)."

Wow.... Are we?

i will protect myself to a degree, but otherwise i am quite happy to be open and honest.

why do you think i'm lying?

No.... But I would never take your word for that...

I find your insights intriguing...

And of cause, the first rule is to protect yourself, only then can you help others, even if that does mean a spot of truth bending...

Really ive never protected myself to help others infact the very opposite i have risked myself my feeling to help others i dont do it for my benefit

Never...

The whole point of that fucking they give you on the airplane is to make sure you save yourself before your child!

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse."

Strength comes in many forms

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

Ok... Thought you quoted something from a medical journal or something....

And as much as I respect professionals... The only real discipline in the universe is mathematics...

And even that can be questioned to a certain extent.

You still haven't understood - the clinical descriptions were an exact match for that which I already knew to be true. I experienced the truth before reading the theory - I did not have to believe it true, I already knew it to be true, I just found out the professional name for the familiar, observable pattern."

Ok... Huge WOW!

You already knew the "truth".... You experienced the "truth"....

It's just a professional opinion, a very smart and accepted one, but it's just one version of the "truth" from a certain perspective...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others."

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse.

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?"

Why would the child dir the parent has sacrificed themselves for their child

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

Ok... Thought you quoted something from a medical journal or something....

And as much as I respect professionals... The only real discipline in the universe is mathematics...

And even that can be questioned to a certain extent.

You still haven't understood - the clinical descriptions were an exact match for that which I already knew to be true. I experienced the truth before reading the theory - I did not have to believe it true, I already knew it to be true, I just found out the professional name for the familiar, observable pattern.

Ok... Huge WOW!

You already knew the "truth".... You experienced the "truth"....

It's just a professional opinion, a very smart and accepted one, but it's just one version of the "truth" from a certain perspective..."

Sure, I am sure there are other ways of describing narcissistic personality disorder, but that are a list of clearly observable traits which combine in a particular type of psyche which is observable and even predictable, and I call that true.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

."

No argument there - but we are not facing life and death situations most of the time, and I will constantly go without to give someone I love what they need before me.

And there are plenty of female narcs in the world I am sure, just all those I have experienced are male lol!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse.

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

Why would the child dir the parent has sacrificed themselves for their child "

Because the idea is there is a massive shit-storm heading their way right after the crash and the child will not survive on its own, it's a child!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

If you are not in a position of strength, don't try to help anyone else you will only make things worse.

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

Why would the child dir the parent has sacrificed themselves for their child "

He gave the example of the oxygen mask on a plane where you are instructed to put your own on before helping a child. Different point.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him"."

See. Protecting yourself is important. It's not always necessary because not everyone is out there to harm you, and how do you know who you can trust if you don't trust them.

But relationships, double sided relationships, they are based on give and take. They are based on sacrifice because nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship.

Narcissists do not get that, hence they discard and devalue anyone they do not think is as perfect as their head made them out to be. Often they abuse them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

Nope, they merely confirmed and explained what I had already experienced.

So you don't question what your told as long as it comes from a source of authority...

I said exactly the opposite - read it again maybe?

Ok... Thought you quoted something from a medical journal or something....

And as much as I respect professionals... The only real discipline in the universe is mathematics...

And even that can be questioned to a certain extent.

You still haven't understood - the clinical descriptions were an exact match for that which I already knew to be true. I experienced the truth before reading the theory - I did not have to believe it true, I already knew it to be true, I just found out the professional name for the familiar, observable pattern.

Ok... Huge WOW!

You already knew the "truth".... You experienced the "truth"....

It's just a professional opinion, a very smart and accepted one, but it's just one version of the "truth" from a certain perspective...

Sure, I am sure there are other ways of describing narcissistic personality disorder, but that are a list of clearly observable traits which combine in a particular type of psyche which is observable and even predictable, and I call that true."

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him".

See. Protecting yourself is important. It's not always necessary because not everyone is out there to harm you, and how do you know who you can trust if you don't trust them.

But relationships, double sided relationships, they are based on give and take. They are based on sacrifice because nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship.

Narcissists do not get that, hence they discard and devalue anyone they do not think is as perfect as their head made them out to be. Often they abuse them."

When I say protecting ourselves, you can take any example from everyday life, the electrician putting savings away incase the housing market tanks...

This is protecting him self, yet it also protects those he loves...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I cognitively don't class myself as Dom, kick the I.D in and, I street this, other partners do.

You want to talk about the psychological of it look at Twirmire, Pearls, Jung, Korzybski.

Really it isn't cognitive, it's fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my own experience there are Doms (or Domme) and there are tops. A top is in control of sex, while a Dominant is in control of life in general. Tops are fairly common.

Genuinely Dominant people are rare. They are all shapes, sizes and genders. They are not sterotypes either. They don't all want the same things or see things the same way.

Just like there is no cookie cutter model for being a Dominant, there is no cookie cutter model for a D/s dynamic. Every one is different. Seeing a real D/s dynamic up close is often seeing a thing of beauty.

Because of my relationship with my wife I cannot imagine a D/s relationship without deep emotional bonds. I push and prod and torture her and it humbles me the amount of trust she has in my judgement. But there are service D/s relationships that are mostly emotionless.

Just because I don't have one doesn't mean that they are not valid.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"I cognitively don't class myself as Dom, kick the I.D in and, I street this, other partners do.

You want to talk about the psychological of it look at Twirmire, Pearls, Jung, Korzybski.

Really it isn't cognitive, it's fun. "

It's a good point... What happened to good old fashioned fun?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him".

See. Protecting yourself is important. It's not always necessary because not everyone is out there to harm you, and how do you know who you can trust if you don't trust them.

But relationships, double sided relationships, they are based on give and take. They are based on sacrifice because nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship.

Narcissists do not get that, hence they discard and devalue anyone they do not think is as perfect as their head made them out to be. Often they abuse them.

When I say protecting ourselves, you can take any example from everyday life, the electrician putting savings away incase the housing market tanks...

This is protecting him self, yet it also protects those he loves... "

But here we are talking about the emotional, not the financial.

I think i can relate your money to what we were talking about though. Like someone will not invest themselves emotionally into another person in case their value decreases?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

The way this thread has gone has been an interesting read but sucks the joy out of BDSM. I love that those attracted to it are frequently highly intelligent and it's taken seriously for good reason but c'mon. It's bloody good fun too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him".

See. Protecting yourself is important. It's not always necessary because not everyone is out there to harm you, and how do you know who you can trust if you don't trust them.

But relationships, double sided relationships, they are based on give and take. They are based on sacrifice because nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship.

Narcissists do not get that, hence they discard and devalue anyone they do not think is as perfect as their head made them out to be. Often they abuse them.

When I say protecting ourselves, you can take any example from everyday life, the electrician putting savings away incase the housing market tanks...

This is protecting him self, yet it also protects those he loves...

But here we are talking about the emotional, not the financial.

I think i can relate your money to what we were talking about though. Like someone will not invest themselves emotionally into another person in case their value decreases?"

No... More if you don't invest in your own emotional wellbeing how can you pass that on to your children?

There are many ways to protect yourself, it may mean through education, training not always through strength...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"The way this thread has gone has been an interesting read but sucks the joy out of BDSM. I love that those attracted to it are frequently highly intelligent and it's taken seriously for good reason but c'mon. It's bloody good fun too."

No I totally agree... And in the main I think as some Finnish lady once said to me "sex is just adults playing".

But I can't resist a rabbit hole!

*thats not a euphemism for anything

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's called self-sacrifice - people do it every day the world over for people they love.

So in the illustration above the child and the parent die.... Self-sacrifice?

It's the wrong illustration - it does not illustrate the point that was made, it tries to divert away from it.

The narcissist will always put himself first. The empath will often put someone else first - that's why they fit so easily.

The world is full of other people - parents for instance, who often put their children ahead of themselves. There is also pure altruism - the man who dies rescuing others.

Ok I agree, but protecting yourself, however that may manifest itself should be first...

That may meant to sacrifice yourself in the moment...

But you will be able to do more good in this world if you have given yourself enough armour to be able to take a few knocks...

Also can't help but notice you made our unseen antagonist a "him".

See. Protecting yourself is important. It's not always necessary because not everyone is out there to harm you, and how do you know who you can trust if you don't trust them.

But relationships, double sided relationships, they are based on give and take. They are based on sacrifice because nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship.

Narcissists do not get that, hence they discard and devalue anyone they do not think is as perfect as their head made them out to be. Often they abuse them.

When I say protecting ourselves, you can take any example from everyday life, the electrician putting savings away incase the housing market tanks...

This is protecting him self, yet it also protects those he loves...

But here we are talking about the emotional, not the financial.

I think i can relate your money to what we were talking about though. Like someone will not invest themselves emotionally into another person in case their value decreases?

No... More if you don't invest in your own emotional wellbeing how can you pass that on to your children?

There are many ways to protect yourself, it may mean through education, training not always through strength..."

Ok thanks. I do understand you now, yes. Really good point too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"The way this thread has gone has been an interesting read but sucks the joy out of BDSM. I love that those attracted to it are frequently highly intelligent and it's taken seriously for good reason but c'mon. It's bloody good fun too.

No I totally agree... And in the main I think as some Finnish lady once said to me "sex is just adults playing".

But I can't resist a rabbit hole!

*thats not a euphemism for anything"

No,no, no not for rice pudding.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"The way this thread has gone has been an interesting read but sucks the joy out of BDSM. I love that those attracted to it are frequently highly intelligent and it's taken seriously for good reason but c'mon. It's bloody good fun too.

No I totally agree... And in the main I think as some Finnish lady once said to me "sex is just adults playing".

But I can't resist a rabbit hole!

*thats not a euphemism for anything"

No,no, no not for rice pudding.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

"

I believe that a number of those traits together at the extreme end does always spell narcissism, but some on their own in a moderate form can be entirely admirable - confident, assertive, driven, focussed, charismatic high acheivers - that's what I thought I married.

When you talk about dishonest, manipulative, exploitative, arrogant fantacists who lack empathy they may even be admired in the business world sometimes, but I do not consider those traits desirable in a sexual or life partner! lol!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

I believe that a number of those traits together at the extreme end does always spell narcissism, but some on their own in a moderate form can be entirely admirable - confident, assertive, driven, focussed, charismatic high acheivers - that's what I thought I married.

When you talk about dishonest, manipulative, exploitative, arrogant fantacists who lack empathy they may even be admired in the business world sometimes, but I do not consider those traits desirable in a sexual or life partner! lol!"

i don't even like charismatic. always found that creepy myself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Please, please don't do this, I like Daffodils!!!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

I believe that a number of those traits together at the extreme end does always spell narcissism, but some on their own in a moderate form can be entirely admirable - confident, assertive, driven, focussed, charismatic high acheivers - that's what I thought I married.

When you talk about dishonest, manipulative, exploitative, arrogant fantacists who lack empathy they may even be admired in the business world sometimes, but I do not consider those traits desirable in a sexual or life partner! lol!

i don't even like charismatic. always found that creepy myself."

Charismatic is originally from those guys who uses to shout out religious teachings and have crowds gather round to listen to their every word...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

I believe that a number of those traits together at the extreme end does always spell narcissism, but some on their own in a moderate form can be entirely admirable - confident, assertive, driven, focussed, charismatic high acheivers - that's what I thought I married.

When you talk about dishonest, manipulative, exploitative, arrogant fantacists who lack empathy they may even be admired in the business world sometimes, but I do not consider those traits desirable in a sexual or life partner! lol!

i don't even like charismatic. always found that creepy myself.

Charismatic is originally from those guys who uses to shout out religious teachings and have crowds gather round to listen to their every word..."

Yes I always said my ex would have made a good cult leader lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I see you call that true, fair enough...

And what I'm saying is those traits might not always equal narcissist also in some situations they may be thought of as "good" or the "right" traits...

I believe that a number of those traits together at the extreme end does always spell narcissism, but some on their own in a moderate form can be entirely admirable - confident, assertive, driven, focussed, charismatic high acheivers - that's what I thought I married.

When you talk about dishonest, manipulative, exploitative, arrogant fantacists who lack empathy they may even be admired in the business world sometimes, but I do not consider those traits desirable in a sexual or life partner! lol!

i don't even like charismatic. always found that creepy myself.

Charismatic is originally from those guys who uses to shout out religious teachings and have crowds gather round to listen to their every word..."

i just feel like they're saying what i want to hear, bit like a hypnotist. maybe a cult leader as well, i've never been in a cult though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dom diddly Dom

Question. Why is it SOME men think because they like rough sex they call themselves a dom ? Slap ur ass face pull your hair and they are dom!!

Dom sub is a deep emotional bond that goes further than physical sex, it's something that few understand and it's not a prefrance I personally feel it's a need!

The sub holds the power ultimately , she gives the limits the power, what are your views? Xx"

There's a lot of cunts about.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Okay, kind of had the begins with B" moment, oh it ends in ' ollocks' types moment.

Ladie and Doms I bow out, have a good one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the probem with this thread is that it lacks cock and balls. Cock and ball torture to be precise, or edge play, or water torture, or breath play.

The contributions in my view have moved from describing a dominant of which only a few understand (in my view) to describing dominant and sub relationships. This is as useful as describing marriage in psychological terms. Every marriage differs every d/s relationship differs. I had a discussion with a friend who said she did not do humiliation or pain. I pointed out to her that her dom ties her up in public and applies toys in ever increasing severity until she hits a limit. I pointed out that sounds like pain and humiliation to me, and l am sure joe or jane public would agree, but it is not abuse. l aso agree in their case it is done with love and commitment, but not every sub or dom needs that (interchanging top and bottom l would suggest is words).

There is something very Corbyn like on the pronouncements on how d/s relationship should be. As mentioned in other threads it is only abuse if it is done to you against your genuine consent. I remember when nice girls did not give bjs or have sex with the light and to suggest anal sex was abuse as these things did not happen in a loving relatonship! I am getting a similar vibe from this thread.

As some have pointed out most people are getting on doing their own thing and having fun, much like the guy who was being repeatedly kicked in the nuts by a domme whilst restrained, at Subversion Noir on Friday.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I think the probem with this thread is that it lacks cock and balls. Cock and ball torture to be precise, or edge play, or water torture, or breath play.

The contributions in my view have moved from describing a dominant of which only a few understand (in my view) to describing dominant and sub relationships. This is as useful as describing marriage in psychological terms. Every marriage differs every d/s relationship differs. I had a discussion with a friend who said she did not do humiliation or pain. I pointed out to her that her dom ties her up in public and applies toys in ever increasing severity until she hits a limit. I pointed out that sounds like pain and humiliation to me, and l am sure joe or jane public would agree, but it is not abuse. l aso agree in their case it is done with love and commitment, but not every sub or dom needs that (interchanging top and bottom l would suggest is words).

There is something very Corbyn like on the pronouncements on how d/s relationship should be. As mentioned in other threads it is only abuse if it is done to you against your genuine consent. I remember when nice girls did not give bjs or have sex with the light and to suggest anal sex was abuse as these things did not happen in a loving relatonship! I am getting a similar vibe from this thread.

As some have pointed out most people are getting on doing their own thing and having fun, much like the guy who was being repeatedly kicked in the nuts by a domme whilst restrained, at Subversion Noir on Friday."

On thought your post raises in my mind - is something abusive rendered non-abusive by consent?? In my opinion not - someone is just consenting to abuse, which of course they have every right to do, as do others have a right to question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is without doubt my thread of the day. I'm enjoying the to-ing and fro-ing. My own two pennorth. What SBTG has described is one of my favourite types of D/s games. Or D/o. Whatever. I enjoy pitting wills against someone, even if I know I have already lost, it's about how I lose that's enjoyable. It's not abuse, it's not non-consensual, it's a game, and a very fun one at that. Consent is given by the very fact that you continue playing. Nothing stops you from getting off the ride at any point (though the adrenaline can keep you on it a little longer than you expect!) Some of us are natural thrill seekers and there is nothing that I can see wrong with that. Buuut...it is not for everyone. Just like the traditional slave/master or sub/dom dynamics rarely work for me. I wouldn't judge someone for the dynamic they choose.

Interesting... I call this the "alpha dance", it's almost like two animals circling and testing each other for supremacy...

Only being humans and therefore complex creatures, one of us wants to lose, I think people would call that the "sub", but they are not really, in reality they would eat most Doms alive..."

And often do *grins*

That moment when you know you've got the upper hand is a total rush, but is almost immediately followed by boredom. Would be nice if there'd be more than one round

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