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Gingers advised to not even bother today

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By *hyllyphylly OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

(taken from NewsThump)

Ginger-haired people have been told not to even think about going near a window, let alone stepping out of the house today.

Temperatures are set to reach levels that could wipe out Madame Tussaud’s waxwork population, meaning that the more pale and freckly among us are at a particularly high risk.

“Seriously, just ring in sick” said Dr. Malcolm Grant, a skincare specialist.

“Tell them you’ve got whatever bug is going around, or if you’re a woman, say you’ve got woman’s problems. Nobody will dare question that one.”

“I myself have been cursed with two ginger children, and I’m not letting them out of their rooms. If they even set foot outside then they’re liable to burst into flames.”

“Curtains drawn, air-con on. That’s the phrase for today- along with ‘fuck me it’s hot, isn’t it?’”

Surprisingly little concern has been shown for tennis player Andy Murray, who while not being “full-ginger” is at the very least Scottish, and therefore in a similar risk category.

“Meh, he’ll be fine” said tennis fan, Sally Hart, “he’s so grumpy that I doubt the sun will want to go near him.”

“Besides which, my entertainment is more important than the health of some silly sports people. Do you have any IDEA how much I spent on these strawberries?”

“Don’t bother guessing, it will be on my Facebook wall in a minute.”

It is hoped that the weather will cool enough for mankind’s first ever “Ginger Pride” parade next week, where hordes of carrot-topped individuals will line the streets and celebrate all that is good about being ginger.

The parade is expected to last around eight minutes before heading inside to get out of the sun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"(taken from NewsThump)

Ginger-haired people have been told not to even think about going near a window, let alone stepping out of the house today.

Temperatures are set to reach levels that could wipe out Madame Tussaud’s waxwork population, meaning that the more pale and freckly among us are at a particularly high risk.

“Seriously, just ring in sick” said Dr. Malcolm Grant, a skincare specialist.

“Tell them you’ve got whatever bug is going around, or if you’re a woman, say you’ve got woman’s problems. Nobody will dare question that one.”

“I myself have been cursed with two ginger children, and I’m not letting them out of their rooms. If they even set foot outside then they’re liable to burst into flames.”

“Curtains drawn, air-con on. That’s the phrase for today- along with ‘fuck me it’s hot, isn’t it?’”

Surprisingly little concern has been shown for tennis player Andy Murray, who while not being “full-ginger” is at the very least Scottish, and therefore in a similar risk category.

“Meh, he’ll be fine” said tennis fan, Sally Hart, “he’s so grumpy that I doubt the sun will want to go near him.”

“Besides which, my entertainment is more important than the health of some silly sports people. Do you have any IDEA how much I spent on these strawberries?”

“Don’t bother guessing, it will be on my Facebook wall in a minute.”

It is hoped that the weather will cool enough for mankind’s first ever “Ginger Pride” parade next week, where hordes of carrot-topped individuals will line the streets and celebrate all that is good about being ginger.

The parade is expected to last around eight minutes before heading inside to get out of the sun."

Pfffttttt I live on the edge. Walking about like normal. Represent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 minutes tops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not ginger,I tan easily and I'm scared to go out in it again.

Ginger people,please,for the sake of your skin! Stay inside!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Didn't anyone tell you lot that scientists have invented this amazing, incredible thing which let's anybody stay out in the sun without turning into an angry lobster and spending days in bed sore and complaining and wishing it was winter again?

-

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It's called suncream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Redhead here, very pale, trying to avoid frazzling!! I agree wholeheartedly with the OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah Gingerism! The last acceptable prejudice!

(I have not, in fact, melted. Keeping cool by consuming Fabs!)

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

"Ah Gingerism! The last acceptable prejudice!

(I have not, in fact, melted. Keeping cool by consuming Fabs!)

"

Agreed.. All fine here.

Anyone with skin, no matter what colour hair they have, should have spf on them in the sun.

I'm sick of people having a go at ginger haired people..

We know you're in awe of us and slightly afraid.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Spare a thought for us genetic freaks who don't look ginger due to a fluke of brunette hair but partnered with the skin of a proper ginger. Getting suncreamed up before the walk home from work was a military style operation. And I took a circuitous route to make sure I maximised shade opportunities.

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