FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or not but bare with me.

I'm new to the scene ok I get that it's hard to get started without verifications etc but

One reply a was "Thank you for your interest but you are not suitable for us" and that was fine. Nice socially responsive but a nice way to say no thank you.

On the flip side I've just had one come back "No thanks. Bye!" Bit harsh I thought as I'm always polite in my messages and don't send cock pics etc

Funny how different responses make you feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think yourself lucky to get a response most will just block,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you got a reply, there's been a few guys who've complained about not getting a no thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's Fab, you need a thick skin.

My response tends to be extremely blunt, along the lines of "no thanks" or "not interested." It's a case of not wanting to get into a conversation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong g I appreciate the response see its just how they come across.

The latter response seemed somewhat the opposite to the way people were describing them in the reviews.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or not but bare with me.

I'm new to the scene ok I get that it's hard to get started without verifications etc but

One reply a was "Thank you for your interest but you are not suitable for us" and that was fine. Nice socially responsive but a nice way to say no thank you.

On the flip side I've just had one come back "No thanks. Bye!" Bit harsh I thought as I'm always polite in my messages and don't send cock pics etc

Funny how different responses make you feel

Don't want to be rude but what kind of reply would you like?

No thanks, bye seems perfectly acceptable to me, what's the point in saying anymore, would you like an explanation as to why they don't want to meet? Does it matter why they don't want to meet? It says all it needs to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always try to reply, that's if there is something to reply to. If the message is a single sentence, the profile is a single sentence and just a few cock pics.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I never write one liners lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, the amount of messages women get, is unreal

Out of 100 a day, there might only be one or two that spark their interest. No matter how polite, if you're not their type, then you're not their type.

It would take ages to reply to every person, a minute a message, over an hour and half just saying no thank you. That's an hour and half, I could be talking to someone I have interest in. I know it seams harsh but the amount of abuse I have got from guys when I've said no thank you,

I have had to block yet again. Nob heads spoiling it for everyone else

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

"Wow not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or not but bare with me.

I'm new to the scene ok I get that it's hard to get started without verifications etc but

One reply a was "Thank you for your interest but you are not suitable for us" and that was fine. Nice socially responsive but a nice way to say no thank you.

On the flip side I've just had one come back "No thanks. Bye!" Bit harsh I thought as I'm always polite in my messages and don't send cock pics etc

Funny how different responses make you feel

Don't it personally.delete message,and move on to the next one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thanks bye? Thats actualy quite polite.

Your right though, the same answer served different ways can induce various feelings. I'd get used to rejections though, I've found its hard to enjoy somebody's personality when it's obvious the initial attraction on the forefront is your looks.

You'll do alright as your well handsome.

*Wingman hi5

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong g I appreciate the response see its just how they come across.

The latter response seemed somewhat the opposite to the way people were describing them in the reviews."

Reviews?

Well of course women will appear different to someone they don't want to meet as opposed to those they've liked enough to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may get nasty replies at some point. (Report abusive mails.) Or no reply at all. Take it as a massive compliment that you got a reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Tbh some people I get no response, some I get thanks but no thanks, some I get blocked, some I get a good response.

I would say that I don't often ask people to meet tho I did today and she said yes

Normally I will try to meet someone either at a club or socially and then see what happens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

You need to toughen up and not take things to heart which can be difficult at times for anybody on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"You need to toughen up and not take things to heart which can be difficult at times for anybody on here

Agreed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you are being overly sensitive, both replies were probably typed once then pasted to 50 messages that didn't appeal but were worth a no thanks reply. count it as a win that your opening message didn't go straight to block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I always use a simple 'no thanks X'

What's wrong with that?

I don't want a conversation about it, I don't want to hurt someone's feelings and I don't want to tell them why.

A reply is better than a delete is it not?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Aha do you always put a kiss?

See that takes it from being blunt to sociable. It makes a big difference

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually reply to messages I'm not interested in pursuing with a standard reply saying something like thanks for the message but you aren't what we are looking for. I hope you have fun meets with others.

I constantly get people asking what it is I am looking for. Constantly! I just delete the message at that point because I'm not interested in explaining myself.

Sometimes people will continue to message asking why. Recently I answered someone's third such message honestly, and the guy said I was being harsh.

OP, you don't really want to know each situation that has led women to reply or not reply to your message in a certain way. Just move on and don't dwell on it.

You are likely to be ignored. You may get nasty replies. You may get more "no thanks, bye" messages. Don't overthink it. Thick skin is all you need.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a good old fashioned....Fuck Off is the best policy ...no beating around the bush then is there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Aha do you always put a kiss?

See that takes it from being blunt to sociable. It makes a big difference"

Depends... if someone sends me something crude I omit the kiss. If there's effort gone into the message I usually elaborate and say that I'm not meeting at the moment. Nice to be polite I say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My point to exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a good old fashioned....Fuck Off is the best policy ...no beating around the bush then is there

And I bet that would be interpreted as Come Fuck Me Now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My point to exactly"

Use the "quote and reply" button as we can't see who you're responding to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry still finding my way about on here lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a good old fashioned....Fuck Off is the best policy ...no beating around the bush then is there

And I bet that would be interpreted as Come Fuck Me Now

I've gotta headache sausage

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're being human. Unfortunately some people have been here a long time and are hardened to those kids of messages. We just shrug and move on.

I do feel there is a difference between someone saying bye and bye!! The latter would make me think they were having a laugh at my expense; even though I wouldn't give a shit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My point to exactly

Use the "quote and reply" button as we can't see who you're responding to

But isn't it more fun trying to work out who he is answering

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aha do you always put a kiss?

See that takes it from being blunt to sociable. It makes a big difference"

I understand, I've a lifelong habit of being overly sensitive to little details.

But ...

"It's Fab, you need a thick skin."

This. You could spend forever torturing yourself over such little details and although I'd personally much rather be a sensitive person than not, sometimes you just have to let it go and move on.

As has been pointed out, some people here get many dozens of messages every day, so don't take it personally if they don't spend much time on polite rejections. On a busy day I might get 10-20 messages and even that many sometimes has me bulk deleting, I'm ashamed to say. Usually it's to do with my own mood swings and what kind of day I'm having, rather than anything to do with the people messaging me.

Good luck, and don't get disillusioned : )

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Aha do you always put a kiss?

See that takes it from being blunt to sociable. It makes a big difference"

I usually put a smiley face or if they've been a bit of a dick a

face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some are just on a power trip and will be harsh, I think they lose perspective of what it's like to be new. Everyone was new once.

Just move on and don't take it personally.

Sarah

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway look on the bright side .. if you value good manners and you've been turned down by someone who appears to lack them, then you're probably better off anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a reply from an add somewhere else of " sorry but......" (that was exact message) after I sent a lady a body shot of me in undies. I was a bit upset at time, deflated my confidence somewhat. XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's a good one ... Friend request from a total stranger. I have a look and see that the profile is about as far as it can get from what I'm here for. And at the end of the profile she says, "do not send a friend request without messaging me first".

Just thought I'd share, carry on : )

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

"Wow not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or not but bare with me.

I'm new to the scene ok I get that it's hard to get started without verifications etc but

One reply a was "Thank you for your interest but you are not suitable for us" and that was fine. Nice socially responsive but a nice way to say no thank you.

On the flip side I've just had one come back "No thanks. Bye!" Bit harsh I thought as I'm always polite in my messages and don't send cock pics etc

Funny how different responses make you feel

Being rude is not in my nature!

There is no need for it.

Even if someone is rude to me I will be even more polite in response.

My advice would be take no notice it's them with the attitude problem!

I choose to stay well clear of people who are rude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, the amount of messages women get, is unreal

Out of 100 a day, there might only be one or two that spark their interest. No matter how polite, if you're not their type, then you're not their type.

I have had to block yet again. Nob heads spoiling it for everyone else"

For every no thanks you get a reply. It's a vicious circle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong g I appreciate the response see its just how they come across.

The latter response seemed somewhat the opposite to the way people were describing them in the reviews."

I can see where you are coming from, but on the other hand, maybe the "bye" was meant as a final word on the matter. I have politely knocked back guys and then got pestered. It happens to me. Sometimes people just don;t get the message and maybe that is their way of under-lining the "no thanks". Just my take on it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Wow not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or not but bare with me.

I'm new to the scene ok I get that it's hard to get started without verifications etc but

One reply a was "Thank you for your interest but you are not suitable for us" and that was fine. Nice socially responsive but a nice way to say no thank you.

On the flip side I've just had one come back "No thanks. Bye!" Bit harsh I thought as I'm always polite in my messages and don't send cock pics etc

Funny how different responses make you feel

My personal opinion is that you are being over sensitive and also over analysing the response to your message.

It is short and to the point but it isn't abusive there's no swearing or insults and you know exactly where you stand.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's a good one ... Friend request from a total stranger. I have a look and see that the profile is about as far as it can get from what I'm here for. And at the end of the profile she says, "do not send a friend request without messaging me first".

Just thought I'd share, carry on : )"

That's random Niki.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once got a "sorry you're a bit large for us" message

Which I thought was a bit harsh as if that was so why did they message me in the first place

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just thought I'd share, carry on : )

That's random Niki.

Sweetie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once got a "sorry you're a bit large for us" message

Which I thought was a bit harsh as if that was so why did they message me in the first place

Mean

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once got a "sorry you're a bit large for us" message

Which I thought was a bit harsh as if that was so why did they message me in the first place

Mean

I know and they messaged me first but decided this when I told them I would only meet in a club

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can imagine that actually replying on here means that you have to be fairly harsh, blunt, and boring even, so the guy does not pester to ask why, or any other pointless questions and take up more time in your inbox.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

Honestly I'd rather a simple "no thanks" or 'Message unread, deleted and blocked' than get a copy pasted rejection message with some platitude sprinkled in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ark jamiesonMan
over a year ago

twickenham

"Don't get me wrong g I appreciate the response see its just how they come across.

The latter response seemed somewhat the opposite to the way people were describing them in the reviews."
try reading the responses with a different frame of mind eg fuck off no way read as: fuck not this time im off and thankyou but thanks for taking time to read my profile and writing me a lovely message have a great fab experience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once got a "sorry you're a bit large for us" message

Which I thought was a bit harsh as if that was so why did they message me in the first place

Mean

I know and they messaged me first but decided this when I told them I would only meet in a club

Sounds like a lucky escape from idiots to me. Their loss I am sure x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread