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Opening Message Hell

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By *heKinks OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

We all know that pitching that all important opening message is a make or break moment. But what about when they go wrong?

Which are the worst opening lines that have flopped into your inbox (probably at two in the morning, typed by a one handed typist whose other hand is 'busy'

"Is your missus lactating????" Was a personal favourite of mine. Excellent use of the question mark to emphasise the urgency of the enquiry

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By *ammykingMan
over a year ago

Lisburn

I've not had a bad one as I never really get first messages but I know that I've sent out a few really awkward and lame ones I can't start conversations for shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all know that pitching that all important opening message is a make or break moment. But what about when they go wrong?

Which are the worst opening lines that have flopped into your inbox (probably at two in the morning, typed by a one handed typist whose other hand is 'busy'

"Is your missus lactating????" Was a personal favourite of mine. Excellent use of the question mark to emphasise the urgency of the enquiry "

Just the infamous 'Hey' message. Even great tits can not make up for that.

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By *heKinks OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I've not had a bad one as I never really get first messages but I know that I've sent out a few really awkward and lame ones I can't start conversations for shit "

You didn't send the lactating one did you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey x

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By *ammykingMan
over a year ago

Lisburn


"I've not had a bad one as I never really get first messages but I know that I've sent out a few really awkward and lame ones I can't start conversations for shit

You didn't send the lactating one did you? "

Oh god no mine are usually just shitty 'Hey' ones with some badly written comment in them.

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By *heKinks OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Of course, there are always the clearly copy and pasted ones. Like a 1500 word essay, with tiny sections tailored to you. Sometimes they don't even tailor them, so you end up receiving a cut and paste job to your couples profile that is clearly aimed at a singles page

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I've not sent a preemptive message for quite a number of years now, I let the ladies come to me

However I do receive my fair share of "Hi, how's you" type of crap.

You've just gotta love imagination

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

The worst one we got was probably the one that began 'I haven't read your profile but that doesn't matter because ...' and then proceeded to claim - in what was obviously a load of cut and pasted arrogant shite - that regardless, he knew what we wanted (how, exactly, FFS) and he was the man to provide it as no-one yet had ever been disappointed.

Ms G

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

We've had a few on my couple's profile. One asking that he wanted the wife (me) to peg him with a strap on (not that we have that one our profile! ). The other asked what was wrong with his profile, after we only viewed it and moved on without sending a message. When we didn't answer him, he then sent another, ranting how rude we were for not answering!

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"We all know that pitching that all important opening message is a make or break moment. But what about when they go wrong?

Which are the worst opening lines that have flopped into your inbox (probably at two in the morning, typed by a one handed typist whose other hand is 'busy'

"Is your missus lactating????" Was a personal favourite of mine. Excellent use of the question mark to emphasise the urgency of the enquiry "
made me chuckle this morning..thanks..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike the long messages that just proceed to say what I will be wearing and what will happen when we meet, you know, the ones setting out the sex scenario.

They just do nothing for me as they are so far from what would happen that they're laughable and not sexy in the slightest

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Can you keep your private messages to yourselves please... the forum isn't for sharing those.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

"Is your missus lactating????" "

Is she though ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had numerous requests from men waiting to suck my cock. They're usually quite polite when I point out I'm straight.

However, one belter asked if they could come up my bum! When I pointed out that I was straight he then tried a sales pitch as to why I'd enjoy it. Followed by me favorite line ever....

...and I'll even suck your cock after. If you shut your eyes u won't even know it is a man!

What the actual fuck! Has this ever worked hahah.

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