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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a crap year!

I would suggest that you don't think about what men would like & start thinking about what you would like to see smiling back at you when you look in the mirror.

Take some time out to get yourself back on an even keel.

From what I can see picture wise, you're looking pretty good already x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a quick look at your profile and find I am far from repulsed......I'm happy to chat to you...and if I was closer would be more than happy to meet and chat personally.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Most men won't be repulsed by you but you feeling that may well put people off. That becomes a vicious cycle of you believing no one wants you because of how you look rather than how you are behaving.

Only you can find and hold on to your confidence. It can't truly be conferred on you by the fawning of random men.

I was celibate for 14 years and I know how easy it is to let it continue. If you want to change then start small and find your feet again. Once you have one block of confidence it's easier to start building up again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't repulse me quite the opposite so there!from what I can see from your picks any man would be lucky to get a night or even 5 mins with a beaut like you

Chin up onwards and up wards don't look back look forward.

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, I do agree the longer it's gone on month by month I'm more conscious of being naked more than anything

It's weird as I've discovered myself more the past year about my desire and need for a sub/Dom dynamic yet I'm sooo bothered about how I look body wise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and Defo good advise as said above there is nothing sexier than a woman that feels sexy

Who has confidence and I don't mean rates her self just confident about what she wants and confident about her body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am so sorry you've had a horrid year and I really do understand the confidence thing.

You really do look beautiful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you need validation from others then this site will probably help with that, but i find that type of confidence boost fake personally.

i guess you could focus more on your good qualities, and then accept that some things you can't change and probably don't really need to.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

Well Linzi and her alter ego thinks you look fantastic...

Both of us can't be wrong!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The only advice I can give is that you should try and focus on all the good stuff in your life and try to forget the person who fucked over your confidence.

As RoxiAnne and Lickety said, be who you want to be, not who you think other people will find attractive or like. When you're happy within yourself it'll show on the outside and that is a major plus. Confidence comes from within. Good luck

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP I went 5 years without sex in my long term relationship. Then another before someone put me on Fab.

Then about another year to realise that my ex was incorrect about how horrible I am and that I'm ok and I like sex and get sex even though I have a crap figure.

The problem will have been his not yours so enjoy fab and stop worrying about what he said.

If another guy says anything similar it's a red flag that he's a jerk too.

Good luck

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Your profile and pics certainly don't appear to lack confidence, but also know how confidence is an inner thing and takes self-belief as much as anything.

Small steps, like the one you've taken by posting here and the positive responses it's generated is a good start though. Take it at your own speed, don't be rushed into anything and be prepared to accept compliments and out the past behind you and with time things will work themselves out I am sure.

Chin up, and wish you well.

Mr G

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Take baby steps until YOU are happy with YOU. What others think is of no consequence if you're not happy with what you see in yourself.

But very importantly, if there are things you can't change, accept them and love them anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ? "

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Thank you, I do agree the longer it's gone on month by month I'm more conscious of being naked more than anything

It's weird as I've discovered myself more the past year about my desire and need for a sub/Dom dynamic yet I'm sooo bothered about how I look body wise "

How we see ourselves and how others see us are different things.

Have a look at Body Gossip and Natasha Devon for some tips on finding ways to love your body again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com "

Exactly!! That's what I mean !!

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By *j48Man
over a year ago

Wigan

Hi OP

The first thing I did was look at your pics

I think there lays the answer to what people think when they look at you ( well your pics anyway)

First one 170 odd fabs, the next over 400 I think it was

You're far from repulsive, he's a twat for saying such a thing irrespective of a person's shape or size etc..

You're well rid - maybe look for a date or two with men who'd be bowled over to take you out..

I doubt it'll be long before the penny drops in your head

You're a stunner irrespective of what one person said..

Go get 'em

Paul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com

Exactly!! That's what I mean !!"

but if you really feel how you feel on here then ditch the profile and the pics and start again with something a bit more realistic for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your ex is clearly an arse hole and needs his eyes tested, you look amazing hunny!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com

Exactly!! That's what I mean !!

but if you really feel how you feel on here then ditch the profile and the pics and start again with something a bit more realistic for you"

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com

Exactly!! That's what I mean !!

but if you really feel how you feel on here then ditch the profile and the pics and start again with something a bit more realistic for you"

Sorry you feel this way and say that I should ditch my pics and profile !! If you've ever been in a position of domestic abuse for years I apologise for the below

I am a strong independent woman on my own bringing my children up I'm fully aware of my sexuality and am in a position of self discovery. I know from councilling that my self image is in my head not reality

So should I post pictures and profile myself of what I think I know I am or what I think i am?

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop


"OP I went 5 years without sex in my long term relationship. Then another before someone put me on Fab.

Then about another year to realise that my ex was incorrect about how horrible I am and that I'm ok and I like sex and get sex even though I have a crap figure.

The problem will have been his not yours so enjoy fab and stop worrying about what he said.

If another guy says anything similar it's a red flag that he's a jerk too.

Good luck "

Sound advice from Kinky-minx....

Hope tea party went well x

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop


"OP I went 5 years without sex in my long term relationship. Then another before someone put me on Fab.

Then about another year to realise that my ex was incorrect about how horrible I am and that I'm ok and I like sex and get sex even though I have a crap figure.

The problem will have been his not yours so enjoy fab and stop worrying about what he said.

If another guy says anything similar it's a red flag that he's a jerk too.

Good luck "

Sound advice from Kinky-minx....

Hope tea party went well x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Take baby steps until YOU are happy with YOU. What others think is of no consequence if you're not happy with what you see in yourself.

But very importantly, if there are things you can't change, accept them and love them anyway "

You really are super smart

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t"

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Take baby steps until YOU are happy with YOU. What others think is of no consequence if you're not happy with what you see in yourself.

But very importantly, if there are things you can't change, accept them and love them anyway

You really are super smart "

Thankyou so much for them kind words. Not many understand x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long "

Have you done the Freedom programme? PM me if you want some information.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long

Have you done the Freedom programme? PM me if you want some information.

"

Yes I done that it was good. Thank you. I'm in CBT councilling at the min. Xx it's helping. Thank you for asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long

Have you done the Freedom programme? PM me if you want some information.

"

I also volunteer with people escaping from domestic abuse so I do understand.

You're stronger than you can imagine possible

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long

Have you done the Freedom programme? PM me if you want some information.

Yes I done that it was good. Thank you. I'm in CBT councilling at the min. Xx it's helping. Thank you for asking "

I hope it helps. Go back to some of the lessons on the Freedom programme as a reminder when you are feeling that his voice is still the one you are hearing.

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

There good programmes around such as the 'Freedom Project' for victims of domestic abuse....Probably similar schemes near you....

There is always a risk, until confidence develops that you will be at risk of finding similar relationships...

Just be careful!

It is your body, your life and I am sure deep down that you know what you want.... the mental/emotional healing has to come first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Going to sound odd, what do you wan?t

Just advice really how to get over domestic abuse, and the thought that go through your head after being told your 'this' 'that' for so long

Have you done the Freedom programme? PM me if you want some information.

I also volunteer with people escaping from domestic abuse so I do understand.

You're stronger than you can imagine possible "

Thank you for that. I'm getting there, I'm strong , been in a bad place but haven't we all. Things are tough at times but hey, we need to rise above and be strong.

**jazz hands**

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By *rDigital_CurvygirlCouple
over a year ago

Stroud Area

OP -

Abusers will abuse to maintain control over someone, most of them are insecure and awkward. They belittle to destroy self confidence and to make sure "you are lucky to be with them". In fact the truth is just the opposite they are so insecure they are scared of losing you.

Remember you life is your own, you are in control, people who knock you are driven by their own insecurities prejudices and ignorance.

Men love curvy women, be empowered and love your life.

Matt

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP -

Abusers will abuse to maintain control over someone, most of them are insecure and awkward. They belittle to destroy self confidence and to make sure "you are lucky to be with them". In fact the truth is just the opposite they are so insecure they are scared of losing you.

Remember you life is your own, you are in control, people who knock you are driven by their own insecurities prejudices and ignorance.

Men love curvy women, be empowered and love your life.

Matt "

Thank you , I hear this but it's going in slowly , I'll get there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs from me. xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP -

Abusers will abuse to maintain control over someone, most of them are insecure and awkward. They belittle to destroy self confidence and to make sure "you are lucky to be with them". In fact the truth is just the opposite they are so insecure they are scared of losing you.

Remember you life is your own, you are in control, people who knock you are driven by their own insecurities prejudices and ignorance.

Men love curvy women, be empowered and love your life.

Matt "

Thank you, I do appreciate everyone's understanding. It does help to talk with people who have experience on the inside and not just looking in, if you get me x

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By *aptivatingWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Apologies in advance for the essay, but....

I'm a size 24, before I had health problems I was a 10 unless you counted the boobs, which defied gravity and were quite frankly marvellous, so I get how it can be difficult to cope with sudden body changes. I have several operations a year and scars that make it look like I shave with a lawnmower - blindfolded. I'm no one's definition of a classical beauty, but I've never had problems finding people to fuck or date, never.

The trick is, I like me, and I refuse to waste my life trying to get those who don't like me to change their minds. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm okay with that. By staying away from people who aren't into what I have to offer and instead spending my time and energy on those who are, I'm backed up in my belief that I'm attractive, despite not being model material I am attractive - as it turns out to lots of people.

I have a couple of thoughts for you to consider, and hopefully they may help realign some of your crazy thinking, because I'm sorry for what you've been through, but it is crazy for a stunning young woman like yourself to be thinking like this, and clearly you are starting to recognise it

Think about all of the people you've ever fancied, did they have any imperfections, at all? Yet you still fancied them. We all go for very different things, and that's cool, that's evolution at work, survival of the species in creating lots of different versions of us wonderful human beings. You can't control who fancies you, it's not your place to, all you need to worry about is who you fancy, and when you get a match set it alight!

We spend most of our lives living by the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. When was the last time you actually treated yourself like this? When were you as kind, forgiving, appreciative, complimentary to yourself as you are to others? You're a human being too, time to remember that and treat yourself nicely too!

XxX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman up and get yourself some cock.

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ?

looking at your profile and what you have just posted on here, I would say that its 2 different people....on there you seem so confident and know exactly what you want and on here you don't ...

confused.com

Exactly!! That's what I mean !!

but if you really feel how you feel on here then ditch the profile and the pics and start again with something a bit more realistic for you

Sorry you feel this way and say that I should ditch my pics and profile !! If you've ever been in a position of domestic abuse for years I apologise for the below

I am a strong independent woman on my own bringing my children up I'm fully aware of my sexuality and am in a position of self discovery. I know from councilling that my self image is in my head not reality

So should I post pictures and profile myself of what I think I know I am or what I think i am? "

Hmm. This site might not be the best place for you in all honesty.

Especially if self worth is at least partly based on value via confidence in your looks.

But then again, maybe not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a serious note,I suffered abuse of all kinds; put on 9 stone in a year,had sex with my husband 5 times in 7 years,didn't kiss me for 27 years. Was called a fat,doughnut eating cunt,divorced me and told me to find someone else. So I did. I'm not ashamed of my fat body,and I'm not offended when I read men say they aren't turned on by fat women. There are plenty of men who are and I'm much fatter than you. My husband was shocked when he found out I was seeing a much younger man,he thought no one would want me. Ironically,all the women he cheated on me with and his new partner were/are 16+.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Apologies in advance for the essay, but....

I'm a size 24, before I had health problems I was a 10 unless you counted the boobs, which defied gravity and were quite frankly marvellous, so I get how it can be difficult to cope with sudden body changes. I have several operations a year and scars that make it look like I shave with a lawnmower - blindfolded. I'm no one's definition of a classical beauty, but I've never had problems finding people to fuck or date, never.

The trick is, I like me, and I refuse to waste my life trying to get those who don't like me to change their minds. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm okay with that. By staying away from people who aren't into what I have to offer and instead spending my time and energy on those who are, I'm backed up in my belief that I'm attractive, despite not being model material I am attractive - as it turns out to lots of people.

I have a couple of thoughts for you to consider, and hopefully they may help realign some of your crazy thinking, because I'm sorry for what you've been through, but it is crazy for a stunning young woman like yourself to be thinking like this, and clearly you are starting to recognise it

Think about all of the people you've ever fancied, did they have any imperfections, at all? Yet you still fancied them. We all go for very different things, and that's cool, that's evolution at work, survival of the species in creating lots of different versions of us wonderful human beings. You can't control who fancies you, it's not your place to, all you need to worry about is who you fancy, and when you get a match set it alight!

We spend most of our lives living by the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. When was the last time you actually treated yourself like this? When were you as kind, forgiving, appreciative, complimentary to yourself as you are to others? You're a human being too, time to remember that and treat yourself nicely too!

XxX"

Thankyou and yes I understand fully. Im kinda pansexual , sapiosexual , all rolled into one. I don't take obvious gratorious looks as a whole , if you get me.

As I've grew older and wiser (I hope ha ) attraction is important but I'm in no means materialistic or stuck on image ,,, x

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP i sent you a pm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you. I've replied. X X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will take more than what anyone says on here to get your confidence back. I don't think you ever truly do after your told things over and over you start to believe them. You learn to deal with things tho and slowly get back to yourself....but will always have that doubt when people say your attractive or anything nice in general. Even tho it will never go away...it will however make you stronger and a better person for it. Good luck with everything. Men can be fuckin arseholes.... don't let it ruin your life....enjoy it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It will take more than what anyone says on here to get your confidence back. I don't think you ever truly do after your told things over and over you start to believe them. You learn to deal with things tho and slowly get back to yourself....but will always have that doubt when people say your attractive or anything nice in general. Even tho it will never go away...it will however make you stronger and a better person for it. Good luck with everything. Men can be fuckin arseholes.... don't let it ruin your life....enjoy it x"

Thank you for this ,, it's hard for anyone to understand, but you do , X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It will take more than what anyone says on here to get your confidence back. I don't think you ever truly do after your told things over and over you start to believe them. You learn to deal with things tho and slowly get back to yourself....but will always have that doubt when people say your attractive or anything nice in general. Even tho it will never go away...it will however make you stronger and a better person for it. Good luck with everything. Men can be fuckin arseholes.... don't let it ruin your life....enjoy it x

Thank you for this ,, it's hard for anyone to understand, but you do , X "

Yeah unless they have went through it they won't have a fucking clue lol I was as quiet as a mouse at one point...now I would face Goliath lol good luck chick. Mrs A x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree with what others said. Don't look at anybody else when trying to improve your confidence, focus on yourself. Remember that whatever you're to achieve, the only thing in your way is self doubt, so get rid of it!

If you're self body conscious, try and change it, I was in a similar position to you few years back. I had awful physique and was giving up after a month or 2. But when you begin to see progress you'll realise how much great potential you have.

By the way, you look great !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It will take more than what anyone says on here to get your confidence back. I don't think you ever truly do after your told things over and over you start to believe them. You learn to deal with things tho and slowly get back to yourself....but will always have that doubt when people say your attractive or anything nice in general. Even tho it will never go away...it will however make you stronger and a better person for it. Good luck with everything. Men can be fuckin arseholes.... don't let it ruin your life....enjoy it x

Thank you for this ,, it's hard for anyone to understand, but you do , X

Yeah unless they have went through it they won't have a fucking clue lol I was as quiet as a mouse at one point...now I would face Goliath lol good luck chick. Mrs A x"

Thankyou ,, xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexy is not a shape it's an attitude gorgeous girl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the pics you look well above average.

Stop caring pic somone you like the look/sound of and go ask them if they want to meet up.

It works or it fails, but nothing changes either way.

You won't feel magically vindicated if you meet, you wont feel destroyed if you dont.

It's just the fear before the leap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies in advance for the essay, but....

I'm a size 24, before I had health problems I was a 10 unless you counted the boobs, which defied gravity and were quite frankly marvellous, so I get how it can be difficult to cope with sudden body changes. I have several operations a year and scars that make it look like I shave with a lawnmower - blindfolded. I'm no one's definition of a classical beauty, but I've never had problems finding people to fuck or date, never.

The trick is, I like me, and I refuse to waste my life trying to get those who don't like me to change their minds. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm okay with that. By staying away from people who aren't into what I have to offer and instead spending my time and energy on those who are, I'm backed up in my belief that I'm attractive, despite not being model material I am attractive - as it turns out to lots of people.

I have a couple of thoughts for you to consider, and hopefully they may help realign some of your crazy thinking, because I'm sorry for what you've been through, but it is crazy for a stunning young woman like yourself to be thinking like this, and clearly you are starting to recognise it

Think about all of the people you've ever fancied, did they have any imperfections, at all? Yet you still fancied them. We all go for very different things, and that's cool, that's evolution at work, survival of the species in creating lots of different versions of us wonderful human beings. You can't control who fancies you, it's not your place to, all you need to worry about is who you fancy, and when you get a match set it alight!

We spend most of our lives living by the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. When was the last time you actually treated yourself like this? When were you as kind, forgiving, appreciative, complimentary to yourself as you are to others? You're a human being too, time to remember that and treat yourself nicely too!

XxX"

that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you sound in a better place then you were, talking on here will help with your confidence because you will be inundated with messages because you seem very real and genuine. Your confidence will return and one day when your ready you will take then next step and eventually wonder why you let those self doubts get the better of you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same..and still not very confident & hate my body. So what's helped me as I'm a lot better than I was.

I joined a mixed gym, as before i went to a ladies only. I was petrified the first day I went but now I love it & you get more used to having your body out there working hard & kind of on show. I'd recommend this so much.

Other than that get chatting more to guys. Forget the sexual side but build your confidence up and have some banter. Also I like to follow some empowering women on Instagram. My idol is Ashley Graham. Amazing beautiful woman who has the most amazing body and helps me over come my insecurities.

I'm sure you'll find someone who inspires you the same.

Good luck & remember it's what's inside that makes you more beautiful than any physical appearance...but you're beautiful too so it's a bonus. xx

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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

There are a great many men that will think you are stunning, from your pictures I have to agree, you're beautiful.

However you need to stop focusing on what us shallow blokes think of how you look .

Concentrate on you feel for yourself, you need to be comfortable with you for no-ones sake but your own. You don't need a bloke to validate yourself.

If you want a queue of guys to tell you that you look stunning naked I could have a line of a thousand by end of the day but until you believe it it's pointless.

Be happy, be you blokes will be fine with you if you are.

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are a great many men that will think you are stunning, from your pictures I have to agree, you're beautiful.

However you need to stop focusing on what us shallow blokes think of how you look .

Concentrate on you feel for yourself, you need to be comfortable with you for no-ones sake but your own. You don't need a bloke to validate yourself.

If you want a queue of guys to tell you that you look stunning naked I could have a line of a thousand by end of the day but until you believe it it's pointless.

Be happy, be you blokes will be fine with you if you are.

Good luck xx"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend at work is on this major diet with shakes and stuff, she actually doesn't need to lose weight, she is tiny but her man said to her 'I don't know how I would feel about you if you got fat', it's obviously played on her mind and now she's doing this (plus she fancies the really 'fit' guy that works next door and he goes for super model types, so that is another factor)

Personally anyone with a man that couldn't accept you if you are big or small isn't worth the time or effort (people put weight on for different reasons).

You have reached the first hurdle of not being with this man and now you want to get all that negativity out back into positivity. I am very confident that you are a lovely person, don't put so my pressure on yourself, I didn't have sex with my ex husband for over a year once, we didn't forget how to do it or what to do.

Find a man who adores you and makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world, you will soon get your confidence back

Good luck

G x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

You can see from the comments that visually, your body is extremely attractive. Knowing you have to work on your confidence is a huge step forward. My advice? Be picky and choosy and do things at your own pace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi hun my heart really goes out to you i suffered verbal and mental abuse at the hands of an ex for many yrs and still struggle with my body image although i am a size 10 and told i am attractive in moments of depression and self hatred i look in a mirror and see a very warped Salvador darli esque image of myself that he created with his vile comments and put downs but thats not the reason i posted here

i notice in your reply you mentioned a dom/sub desire and thats what caught my eye as i too during my recovery of myself found i was drawn to this

please dont jump on my head guys coz i am only speaking from my personal experience and am in no way giving advice but i found an experienced dominatrix on here who took me under her wing and encouraged me slowly to explore both my sub and dom sides safely and this in turn with the guidance and friendship of a strong woman helped me refocus myself and gain confidence in the woman i have now become, dont get me wrong i still have down n tough days and am learning that loving me is vital to becoming whole again but i really did find opening myself to this side of me was a kind of therapy for me even though it would seem unorthodox to many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am 1 year celibate I used to be very confident sexually but now as its been so long I'm really self conscious.

My last relationship ended bad and that plays a lot on why I'm like this he would call me really bad names, as when we met I was running an training a lot (approx 24 miles a week ) unfortunately I got injured just after we met and my morale was low! put weight on and obviously in any new relationship you eat out and become a bit lost.

Now I look at myself and can't get them words out of my head even though I'm only a size 12 (14) up top as I've always had big boobs/back. But my question is how the fook after a year can I get my confidence back , I feel like every man will be repulsed by me ? "

It is about building that confindence again. Hard to just throw caution to the wind and get back on that horse (no pun intended). Body conciousness is a touch thing to conquer. We all suffer from something we do not like on our body. It is quite important when you do have sex again, it is with someone where there is trust there. If you had a bad meet it could be disastrous. I would say be open, and honest about this with them. Together you will find that you can build up slowly to what you once were. Happy and sexy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish and hope any of the words on this thread help you. Confidence is something you can feel, I can't give it you. But if you find somebody nice, who will enjoy being with you and show you how much he enjoys you. Then maybe he can help your confidence grow.

I'd give you a hug if I could, I've can give a nice hug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept what has happened. Once you are comfortable in your own skin you'll be receptive of others showing you affection.

I'm sure you have lots to offer the world. Stop hogging it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been reading all these messages. Thank you everyone for your lovely messages, very kind.

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry completely forgot about my DOM. I'd definitely explore this too & he was amazing & helped me to transform too! x

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