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Do you think you might be gay?

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By *ezebel OP   Woman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Just seen a piece on The Wright Stuff about a proposed survey to be carried out by the Equalities Commission asking 11 year olds about their sexuality and whether or not they think they are gay.

This may be carried out with or without parental consent.

The debate was around parental consent, whether or not 11 year olds are able to articulate their sexual feelings adequately, whether Govt should provide a forum for such discussions if parents cant, and also about what the survey would be used for etc.

We see so many discussions on here about sexual 'labels'....should 11 year olds be involved in those sorts of discussions?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

No. They shouldn't. Let kids have their childhood and let them think about their sexuality when they're good and ready!!

Christ alive... I had no idea about sex when I was 11 never mind knowing whether I was gay or straight or in fact an inbetweeny!!

I wouldn't be impressed by someone discussing this with my child (although I don't have kids) without my consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another pointless survey. One of the dozens of useless surveys that we here about each and every week.

Of course they shouldn't be quizzing young kids about whether they think they are gay.

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By *ezebel OP   Woman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

These were the comments from the panel on the whole, but one guy called in to say he knew he was gay when he was about 10 and was tormented by his feelings, didnt understand them and it wasnt something he could discuss with his parents and he thought the survey would be a good idea....not quite sure how a survey would have helped him though...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I knew I was 'special' from quite early on

a survey would have been a waste of time.. I was too busy flicking thro the Freemans clubbie book looking at the men in their Y fronts...

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By *ezebel OP   Woman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"I knew I was 'special' from quite early on

a survey would have been a waste of time.. I was too busy flicking thro the Freemans clubbie book looking at the men in their Y fronts..."

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By *ominantPerv85Man
over a year ago

Maidstone

My neice said, over family dinner at the weekend, that one of her mates at school was gay, and she was 13!

I just don't understand how or why kids are thinking like that so young. I know that they are starting to sexually explore etc at the age, but surely they can't know if they are gay or not.

From a personal point of _iew, it seems that in the last few years, society and media have been pushing this whole gay thing. I don't mind if someone wants to be gay, thats fine. But when it's more of a 'being gay to be cool' thing, then thats really not right.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

my family clicked I might be when shopping with my mum and sister and i co-ordinated a blouse with a skirt better than them

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"My neice said, over family dinner at the weekend, that one of her mates at school was gay, and she was 13!

I just don't understand how or why kids are thinking like that so young. I know that they are starting to sexually explore etc at the age, but surely they can't know if they are gay or not.

From a personal point of _iew, it seems that in the last few years, society and media have been pushing this whole gay thing. I don't mind if someone wants to be gay, thats fine. But when it's more of a 'being gay to be cool' thing, then thats really not right."

You are joking right?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Can't be bothered to google ,but if it is true that the question is might be gay it is not about labelling but about finding out how children feel about themselves.

i assume all those anti here would prefer confused and troubled kids be left to worry until they reach an "acceptable" age.i was playing nurse and nurse before 11,and spent many years worrying until i discovered the term bi sexual at 16.

Ignorance is never helpful.Those who believe children live in some fairy tale world until evil adults teach them words are deluded,and quite frankly dangerous.In discussions like this i am always reminded of the death that caused the Samaritans to be founded.A suicide of a young girl because she believed her first period meant she was dying from cancer.

Her parents believed ignorance was bliss too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but surely they can't know if they are gay or not".

Of course some do!

And to be honest, no-one would choose to be gay to be cool, it's not like smoking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My neice said, over family dinner at the weekend, that one of her mates at school was gay, and she was 13!

I just don't understand how or why kids are thinking like that so young. I know that they are starting to sexually explore etc at the age, but surely they can't know if they are gay or not.

From a personal point of _iew, it seems that in the last few years, society and media have been pushing this whole gay thing. I don't mind if someone wants to be gay, thats fine. But when it's more of a 'being gay to be cool' thing, then thats really not right.

You are joking right?"

Sadly...I don't think he is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seriously i heard two girls chatting in a local shop saying that if they were to snog each other that the boys would find them more attractive.. i wanted to interrupt them and say something, but it wasn't my place too.

Sad that its how some young females think these days. I do think its down to the media and how everything is so acceptable. Its 'cool' to be Bi, even if its not truly how they feel.. the whole Katy Perry 'I kissed a girl and i liked it'... its no longer a taboo.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

If only it was as simple as changing your sexual orientation to become cool.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Can't be bothered to google ,but if it is true that the question is might be gay it is not about labelling but about finding out how children feel about themselves.

i assume all those anti here would prefer confused and troubled kids be left to worry until they reach an "acceptable" age.i was playing nurse and nurse before 11,and spent many years worrying until i discovered the term bi sexual at 16.

Ignorance is never helpful.Those who believe children live in some fairy tale world until evil adults teach them words are deluded,and quite frankly dangerous.In discussions like this i am always reminded of the death that caused the Samaritans to be founded.A suicide of a young girl because she believed her first period meant she was dying from cancer.

Her parents believed ignorance was bliss too.

"

You assume incorrectly.

Why would you make such an assumption? Who said anything about preferring that kids were confused or troubled? I'm fairly sure no-one would want that for their children but I'd like to think that kids would be able to talk to their parents or to a friend or family member if something was troubling them, not complete some random survey making them believe stuff that isn't relevant or necessary for them to know at the age of 11.

Ignorance is not helpful, neither are assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just seen a piece on The Wright Stuff about a proposed survey to be carried out by the Equalities Commission asking 11 year olds about their sexuality and whether or not they think they are gay.

This may be carried out with or without parental consent.

The debate was around parental consent, whether or not 11 year olds are able to articulate their sexual feelings adequately, whether Govt should provide a forum for such discussions if parents cant, and also about what the survey would be used for etc.

We see so many discussions on here about sexual 'labels'....should 11 year olds be involved in those sorts of discussions?"

I would like to know what they plan on doing with the survey results

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

This is an interesting question. When i was 12 i was sexually active had messed around with a boy and girl. I wasnt even thinking whether i was gay/straight/bi sexual i was experimenting. I think many people have had a little "play" or dabble or whatever you want to call it with someone of the same sex in their teenage years. I dont know what questions are on the questionaire but i cant imagine labelling someones sexuality at 11 can be a good thing. In fact i think it could cause more confusion.

Surely as parents we should bring our children up to be comfortable sharing any problems or worries that they have about anything with us. Being a hormone fuelled teenager is bad enough without being labelled.

Also, with far more acceptance of homosexuality/bi sexuality today i do think there is some kind of "trend" amongst teenagers to want to be bi sexual especially with girls. Finding ones sexuality/likes/dislikes ect evolves over a long period of time. Im sure if i filled a questionaire in when i was 11 i would have to keep filling one in every year as my thoughts changed.

Not a good idea as far as i can see.

As for the young girl, commiting suicide because of he period that is tragic but her mother/guardian/father should of spoken to her about periods

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Can't be bothered to google ,but if it is true that the question is might be gay it is not about labelling but about finding out how children feel about themselves.

i assume all those anti here would prefer confused and troubled kids be left to worry until they reach an "acceptable" age.i was playing nurse and nurse before 11,and spent many years worrying until i discovered the term bi sexual at 16.

Ignorance is never helpful.Those who believe children live in some fairy tale world until evil adults teach them words are deluded,and quite frankly dangerous.In discussions like this i am always reminded of the death that caused the Samaritans to be founded.A suicide of a young girl because she believed her first period meant she was dying from cancer.

Her parents believed ignorance was bliss too.

You assume incorrectly.

Why would you make such an assumption? Who said anything about preferring that kids were confused or troubled? I'm fairly sure no-one would want that for their children but I'd like to think that kids would be able to talk to their parents or to a friend or family member if something was troubling them, not complete some random survey making them believe stuff that isn't relevant or necessary for them to know at the age of 11.

Ignorance is not helpful, neither are assumptions. "

Totally random survey?Surveys cost money the point of this survey is

"It says monitoring sexual orientation among youngsters could help to prevent them from becoming victims of discrimination, and claims that ‘some young people begin to question their sexual orientation as early as age eight and may begin to identify as LGB (lesbian, gay, bisexual) from early adolescence’.

The equalities commision needs to know whether children face these issues because in the real world not every childs can go and talk to friends and family.So yes,it does seem like the anti's are pro ignorance,fear and troubled children.As they oppose research that would help make things better for them.

Another quote

"he report – Researching and Monitoring Adolescence and Sexual Orientation: Asking the Right Questions, at the Right Time – says it is ‘critical’ to track children’s sexuality to ‘shed light on the complexities of young people’s developing sexual orientation and how this may disadvantage them’.

It tell researchers not to dismiss gay feelings of inter_iewees as ‘a passing phase’.

Some youngsters, it says, may use categories such as ‘questioning’, ‘queer’, ‘pansexual’, ‘genderqueer’, ‘asexual’, ‘pan-romantic’ and even ‘trisexual’.

Last night, a commission spokesman said: ‘This is independent research produced to help the commission form its policy direction.’

And you do not answer my point of why people believe children live in a hermetically sealed room untill evil lefties put nasty ideas into their heads...here are two potential scenarios.

child a reads form"Do you believe you might be gay£

Sniggers,it says gay,writes no.Goes out to play football.There is not an 11 yr ld in the country who doesn't know the word

Child b

thinks,well i have wondered for a while,but cant tell my family cos dad always goes on about fucking poufters,i want to write yes,but i'm scared..ok i will...

Research collected,data crunched,it determines there are a percentage of children at secondary school who believe that are gay,and therefore schools need to be aware of the issues they might face.

Oh and yes the girls parents should have spoken to her,but they believed she was too young for the talk.Sound failar?

Why this matters?

Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey 2007).

Google the Trevor project to find out more about the suicide prevention work with young LGBTG Teens.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Some youngsters, it says, may use categories such as ‘questioning’, ‘queer’, ‘pansexual’, ‘genderqueer’, ‘asexual’, ‘pan-romantic’ and even ‘trisexual’

Im 46 and have only known what some of these terms mean in later years. If 11 year olds are learning and understanding these terms at that age its obviously a different education system from the one i know

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Jemima... I won't quote you but my response is to you...

I'm bisexual. I knew that when I was about 16, I didn't act on it until I was in my early 20's. I didn't talk to anyone about it until my 20's. I didn't grow up confused. I was educated in sexual education at school. I didn't have a birds and bees conversation with my folks. My parents are unaware of my sexuality. My mother is homophobic... its a generation thing. I've no desire to discuss my sex life with my mother although we do on occasion talk about general stuff. However, if I have kids I'd like to think they could discuss their issues with me because I'm of a different generation and have the ability to open my mind in a way that my mum doesn't.

I would not appreciate my child taking part in a random survey WITHOUT my consent which was my point, as I stated earlier.

You can give as many examples and blurb as you like, my opinion on that won't change. I'm all for education and knowledge, I'm not interested in some stranger quizzing 11 year olds as to their sexuality. It's my opinion. I'm allowed it. I just don't appreciate being told that I don't give a toss about the well being of children because my opinion differs from yours.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

I was fucking another guy up the ars last night and I suspected he might have been gay....he had an ear ring in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not gay but I think my boyfriend might be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My neice said, over family dinner at the weekend, that one of her mates at school was gay, and she was 13!

I just don't understand how or why kids are thinking like that so young. I know that they are starting to sexually explore etc at the age, but surely they can't know if they are gay or not.

From a personal point of _iew, it seems that in the last few years, society and media have been pushing this whole gay thing. I don't mind if someone wants to be gay, thats fine. But when it's more of a 'being gay to be cool' thing, then thats really not right."

This has been going on for some time now. At least ten years that I have noticed this tendency to _iew it as "cool" or "in vogue".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My neice said, over family dinner at the weekend, that one of her mates at school was gay, and she was 13!

I just don't understand how or why kids are thinking like that so young. I know that they are starting to sexually explore etc at the age, but surely they can't know if they are gay or not.

From a personal point of _iew, it seems that in the last few years, society and media have been pushing this whole gay thing. I don't mind if someone wants to be gay, thats fine. But when it's more of a 'being gay to be cool' thing, then thats really not right.

This has been going on for some time now. At least ten years that I have noticed this tendency to _iew it as "cool" or "in vogue"."

Only among girls though. Pre-teen boys kissing boys is still almost 100% uncool, generally speaking.

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I hate the whole are you gay type thing! people have asked me over and over again and it pisses me off, I am happy to be with a women or a man and it hasn't started as an adult but well and truly before.

I remember having a kiss with my friends both female and male from about junior school. it led to sleeping with both boys and girls through out my teenage years.

I just hate that at so so young there trying to stick a label on you. just let them grow and let them be happy who ever they are with.

long ago gay men would marry women to hide it but recently I have met one or two people who came out as gay strait away as society changed but the reason being they found men sexually attractive yet after dating both they decided they were neither gay or strait.

I think at a young age as long as they no niether is wrong and they shouldn't be scared of how they are feeling, there is little good that can come out of asking which they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate the whole are you gay type thing! people have asked me over and over again and it pisses me off, I am happy to be with a women or a man and it hasn't started as an adult but well and truly before.

I remember having a kiss with my friends both female and male from about junior school. it led to sleeping with both boys and girls through out my teenage years.

I just hate that at so so young there trying to stick a label on you. just let them grow and let them be happy who ever they are with.

long ago gay men would marry women to hide it but recently I have met one or two people who came out as gay strait away as society changed but the reason being they found men sexually attractive yet after dating both they decided they were neither gay or strait.

I think at a young age as long as they no niether is wrong and they shouldn't be scared of how they are feeling, there is little good that can come out of asking which they are."

yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 13y/o daughter has Katy Perry's album and there are some explicit sexual references on it, such as menage a trois, and I asked her as she was singing along whether she knew what Katy was singing about - she didn't have a clue, but my question had triggered her to wonder about it and she asked. Having raised the subject I felt obliged to tell her.

Her response?

She cringed, said, "Dad!!!" and turned the CD off.

I don't think such a survey would be beneficial to anyone except for the penpushing twat that devised it.

Let kids remain kids for as long as possible as there is a whole world of shit waiting for them once they get out of school at 18.

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By *ee_awMan
over a year ago

newcastle

One thing stuck out to me in one of the previous posts - the survey is to make sure children are not discriminated against... could it be that the real reason of the survey is to ensure schools etc. do not get sued for discrimination rather than anything to do with education/protection/support for the children who state on the survey that they think they are gay? Just a thought - I am one for conspiracy theories lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jury is out on this one for me

Yes i agree kids should be allowed their childhood

But because of certain things that happened to me during my childhood it may well have been handy for an adult ta bring the subject up in a controlled environment

Things were different in my day and maybe they shouldn't have been xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I hope it is better for younger ones Soapy... I too remember my school days and not all with happiness.

if honest.. and many may disagree but soap operas and other tv programmes help.

I watched BOTH Emmerdale and Waterloo Road recently and they have featured gay storylines..

I think the Emmerdale one was great, it featured a very str8 looking guy really tormented with his sexuality. Beautifully acted.

Also one on Waterloo Road, 2 young school boy at secondary school forming a relationship..

what struck me was the accepting of them after they came out..

I know hypothetical, but I do hope in MANY but accept it won't be the case, this is true to life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed mate xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think discussions about sexuality etc are useful and important, when done appropriately. However, doing a survey, when the need for the data, and what will be done with it, is another thing. Obviously, some people could be tormented if it was a group thing and it wouldn't necessarily be the right thing.

As for labels, they don't often help, as they shrink people within borders that are unnatural, and people are often more fluid than that. There is much newer psychological research showing how sexuality can move over time, especially in adulthood, even if many of us wouldn't want to hear this.

I was feminine before school, and used to dress up. My parents, under my pressure, eventually agreed that I could just have female accessories for school, so I just had lovely handbags. This was different to sexuality, but I did identify with girls who wanted male partners, and this has continued, though I love women too.

Anything that helps support kids is good - there are high suicide rates in the young often connected to sexuality, so families don't always support in the right ways. Anything that is too intrusive, or sexualises kids is bad.

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