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Bullies

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By *oe_Steve_NWest OP   Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

is it nature or nuture?

Why do people bully - were they bullied and want revenge or is that just the way they are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it nature or nuture?

Why do people bully - were they bullied and want revenge or is that just the way they are?"

I've seen people that had been on the recieving end, but turn into bullies themselves, given a little power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullies are sad.... Usually have low self asteem but with a need to exert a power over others..

Verbal bullying can and often is worse than physical...

All my life i've done whatever I can pro actively to deal best with them.... Hate all kinds with a passion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when my lad was 14, a 17 yr old lad kept bullying him, even punched him and knocked him out.... nothing was done, so i bullied his mum one day,,, from that day on he never bullied him again!

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham

like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious ."

Ahh but your opening up the nature V nurture element here. Parents can contribute to a child’s personality but are they ultimately responsible?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious ."

lol sorry but that is a stupid statement.

I have friends who I used to look up to at their parenting skills, and their son turned put to be a horror of a bully when he was 14

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

lol sorry but that is a stupid statement.

I have friends who I used to look up to at their parenting skills, and their son turned put to be a horror of a bully when he was 14"

It is always interesting what social peer groups your child gets involved in and how they change to fit in with so called friends.

But that happens throughout life. You can but try as a parent and teach morals, social values and respect for others . The end result isn’t always in your hands.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious ."

hmmm do you have your own kids ?

sure there are some who make an almighty arse of being parents, either intentionally or not ( we're not born knowing what to do ) ...but there are many other influences on kids of today.

and some of the biggest bullies are adults ...in professional settings, where they know exactly what they are doing to manipulate, bully and intimidate those working with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullies are just cowards, and i say wot goes around comes around.... that is one saying i truly believe in....there is a guy in my town...him and his brother constantly bullied lads every weekend..... One of them joined the army and still bullied lads...one day he was picking on a squaddie.. the squaddie had had enuff, grabbed a pick axe, and smacked him on the head with it.... yes it stuck in the back of his head.... and ya know wot, no one in the town i live had sympathy for him, cuz they had watched him bully week in week out for years ..... One day life will get its revenge.... it soon stopped his brother from bullying !!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

lol sorry but that is a stupid statement.

I have friends who I used to look up to at their parenting skills, and their son turned put to be a horror of a bully when he was 14

It is always interesting what social peer groups your child gets involved in and how they change to fit in with so called friends.

But that happens throughout life. You can but try as a parent and teach morals, social values and respect for others . The end result isn’t always in your hands.

"

Very true Freddie.

Obviously there are parents about who don't give a toss what their kids get up to, or teach them right from wrong, and those kids may go haywire.

But being what I would call a good parent doesn't make anyone immune from having kids who go off the rails now and then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it nature or nuture?

Why do people bully - were they bullied and want revenge or is that just the way they are?"

Bullies are easily defeated if you are;

Confident

Assertive

can run fast

I think they do it because they can, I also find they tend to be a bit thick/dim. Bulling gives them a way to hide their thick/dimness

How on earth do does anyone get off on making someone else's life more difficult than it needs to be (includes the Posse).

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

The forces are rife with bullies, its almost systematic and in the past it has been acceptable as a way of getting people to risk there life’s for fear of the bully behind them. I have seen more than one easy going NCO let power go to his head and persecute young recruits.

You will find that they all have a feeling of insecurity or inadequacy though. You can stand up to them, you can argue your corner, not always easy but you do keep your pride and respect. Very hard to explain this to a crying child or young man though.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

bullying is fairly entrenched in human evolution from both females and males .

The male its normally the pecking order thing trying to become a pack leader ,with women ...the bitchy put down to a rival.

Since man was able to use a stick to take something he wanted from a rival it has existed.

The ultimate bullying ...death,torture ...killing because someone disagrees with anothers stance or political doctrine. Genocide based on race ,religeon.

we really are crap animals in some was arent we ...but in other ways so noble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The forces are rife with bullies, its almost systematic and in the past it has been acceptable as a way of getting people to risk there life’s for fear of the bully behind them. I have seen more than one easy going NCO let power go to his head and persecute young recruits.

You will find that they all have a feeling of insecurity or inadequacy though. You can stand up to them, you can argue your corner, not always easy but you do keep your pride and respect. Very hard to explain this to a crying child or young man though.

"

Have to disagree with you a little there. Training Depots maybe. I saw a perfect example as why some are bullied in the Military, on bad lads. One would not pull their weight, i.e. try hard enough on tasks, not doing their personal admin, and being lazy. Of course this got the rest of the Pl marked down, loss of privileges and show parades. Rightly or wrongly, the rest started to make his life difficult until he picked up his slackness.

I would say that was forcing conformity that you fully need in a unit (which happens in every basic trg intake). No me in section, unit, Platoon, Troop, Company, Squadron, Bn, Div etc etc

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

I was bullied at Junioe school by a girl. it only stopped when I went to a Grammar school and her to the secondary Modern.

Years later we worked for the same company, me in management and her on shop floor.

Her face was a picture when I was introduced.

Months later she stopped me and admitted that she thought I would pick on her because of what had happened. I pointed out that I had forgotten all about it. Whereas the bully, well she was waiting for me to get my revenge. I did but by doing absolutely nothing

As I always say what goes round comes round

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"I was bullied at Junioe school by a girl. it only stopped when I went to a Grammar school and her to the secondary Modern.

Years later we worked for the same company, me in management and her on shop floor.

Her face was a picture when I was introduced.

Months later she stopped me and admitted that she thought I would pick on her because of what had happened. I pointed out that I had forgotten all about it. Whereas the bully, well she was waiting for me to get my revenge. I did but by doing absolutely nothing

As I always say what goes round comes round"

shows who was the bigger person too aqua ...two wrings dont make a right, no matter how much we think it will make us feel better xx

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone


"The forces are rife with bullies, its almost systematic and in the past it has been acceptable as a way of getting people to risk there life’s for fear of the bully behind them. I have seen more than one easy going NCO let power go to his head and persecute young recruits.

You will find that they all have a feeling of insecurity or inadequacy though. You can stand up to them, you can argue your corner, not always easy but you do keep your pride and respect. Very hard to explain this to a crying child or young man though.

Have to disagree with you a little there. Training Depots maybe. I saw a perfect example as why some are bullied in the Military, on bad lads. One would not pull their weight, i.e. try hard enough on tasks, not doing their personal admin, and being lazy. Of course this got the rest of the Pl marked down, loss of privileges and show parades. Rightly or wrongly, the rest started to make his life difficult until he picked up his slackness.

I would say that was forcing conformity that you fully need in a unit (which happens in every basic trg intake). No me in section, unit, Platoon, Troop, Company, Squadron, Bn, Div etc etc "

That is all part of training and has to be done to get people to conform. After all your ultimate aim is to get people to risk there life's when ordered to.

No there are some NCO's that pick on an individual just because they can. Power can corrupt some people. There is a fine line between discipline and persecution.

I assume you have not been in service as you would have seen the not so nice things that can happen at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

I assume you have not been in service as you would have seen the not so nice things that can happen at times.

"

How many digits did your number have?

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone


"...

I assume you have not been in service as you would have seen the not so nice things that can happen at times.

How many digits did your number have?"

You can mail me on that one if you feel the need. Not really the thing you would post on here.

I do get your point on discipline though, maybe schools should adopt a more organised approach to child control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it nature or nuture?

Why do people bully - were they bullied and want revenge or is that just the way they are?"

I think some people are just naturally bitter or cruel. I was bullied at school and saw one of them in the till in tesco’s. Just blanked, as I am still angry over things.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious ."

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most bullies are cured by getting a bloody good hiding.

They can give it but seldom take it.

However,parents aren't allowed to do it,neither are teachers.

So unless they try to bully the wrong person it looks like your stuck with them.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my daughter got a bad time at school over a period of time and the schools hands were tied.. I visited the parents one by one! Night after night after night.......

It stopped......

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"I was bullied at Junioe school by a girl. it only stopped when I went to a Grammar school and her to the secondary Modern.

Years later we worked for the same company, me in management and her on shop floor.

Her face was a picture when I was introduced.

Months later she stopped me and admitted that she thought I would pick on her because of what had happened. I pointed out that I had forgotten all about it. Whereas the bully, well she was waiting for me to get my revenge. I did but by doing absolutely nothing

As I always say what goes round comes round"

PERFECT!!!

You didnt need to do anything - life did it for you!!!

xxx

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"Most bullies are cured by getting a bloody good hiding.

They can give it but seldom take it.

However,parents aren't allowed to do it,neither are teachers.

So unless they try to bully the wrong person it looks like your stuck with them.

XXXX"

Not all tho hun.

My bro is 6'3 and my mum and dad used to batter the f*ck out of him - and he just used to laugh in their faces....

I could NOT have coped with a kid like that - would have stabbed him dead!!!

He IS still a bully these days - but much more controlled. Thank the lord!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a mate get glassed in a pub by a notorious bully.

Anyway,despite his wounds,our mate pursued the bully up the road.

He said he could actualy hear him whimpering as he gained on him and when he caught him he was blubbering with tears.

Our mate gave him the hiding of his life but got caught on CCTV.

However the court was lenient because of mitigating circumstances.Result!

XXXX

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"I was bullied at Junioe school by a girl. it only stopped when I went to a Grammar school and her to the secondary Modern.

Years later we worked for the same company, me in management and her on shop floor.

Her face was a picture when I was introduced.

Months later she stopped me and admitted that she thought I would pick on her because of what had happened. I pointed out that I had forgotten all about it. Whereas the bully, well she was waiting for me to get my revenge. I did but by doing absolutely nothing

As I always say what goes round comes round

PERFECT!!!

You didnt need to do anything - life did it for you!!!

xxx"

And that is what made the revenge so sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Not all tho hun.

My bro is 6'3 and my mum and dad used to batter the f*ck out of him - and he just used to laugh in their faces....

I could NOT have coped with a kid like that - would have stabbed him dead!!!

He IS still a bully these days - but much more controlled. Thank the lord!!! xx"

Unfortunately for their families, they're the type of bullies that sometimes end up in hospital or in a ditch.

Certain people who know other certain people just won't put up with it.

As Theodore Rooseveldt said "Speak softly but carry a big stick".

XXXX

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Bullies are just oportunitists who get power, I have seen lads who got thier arses kicked all way through school end up as Prison Guards, then bully the prisoners, in a vain attempt to get revenge..

Only one way to deal with a bully, Hit them so bloody hard they will be to scared to hit bother you again..

Daughter was bullied by a boy in school, he would push her over and hit her,after talking to school they asured us the dinner lady had said it was all an accident..didn't help that the little shits mum is dinner lady).. I chatted to her, I realized she didn't fight back, due to fear of teachers telling her off..

Next day I told her sort it out, i'll deal with teachers! On picking her up from school, I see the lad litraly running for his life, her mate in shock that my little angel had smacked him straight in the balls! He hasnt bothered her since...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it depends upon area in which we live then again theres no getting away from the bad side of society at most to cope with stress most parent are alcoholics or drug users so can't be doing with there kids then again kids will do what they see there peers doing .Its unfair for the good members of the society to have to put up with the bullying at best of times though if you've been in prediciment of no fault of your own who's side does the law seem to be on .Even in the country you get them though that's easier taken care of .Sometimes a kid has been abused or beat who knows society has taken a hit for worse though and on news yesterday a black teenage girl led one of her unexpecting boyfriends into a gang where she knew they would beat him to death .Whats wrong with bloody kids these days even going to a corner store other week this d*unk no plastered girl jumped and attempted to kiss me I pulled her off n said behaive yourself went to car she yells you want fucking stabbed then ? Ok I got kids of own aswell but if I didn't I wouldn't have any to bring up in this world maybe selfish like and just couldn't see harm come to them due to other raft idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guy taken from his wife & child 4 months stabbed by same kids shocking then elderly woman 79 beat to death so where does bullying end for the kids today they are just getting worse they get few years jail then out new identity why as crime done as a younger kid disgrace .

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"...I do get your point on discipline though, maybe schools should adopt a more organised approach to child control."

ooh not the poor teachers again, they are powerless, if teaching is so easy why do parents breath a sigh of relief when kids finally go to school.

Yes i have taught and its like trying to control a pack of animals with your hands tied behind your back .

All this much of the time with the hormone flushing any rational thought out of the kids heads and replaced by dribble from the one eyed machine logic god and Xbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

true pleasure dome although it makes your job worth while when few shine through that wish to learn however know where your coming from been there shame aswell amount of tutors that are off due to stress they never come back same Christ bloody kids throwing hussy fits and chairs cuff them to class tables or send to boot camp I would rather do home school other than send mine to the zoo .

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Ironicaly the bigest bullies in my kids school are the pta mums, if you arn't one of them your kid gets sod all.. Any trip with limmited spaces is instantly filled by them, they are the dinner ladys or class assistants, so there kids can do anything they want, I swear even the local asda is run by them it's like an uggly betty maffia...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where your coming from wiggles your not part of there click your frowned upon Asda gosh oh yeah your talking to one person then find out aunti wife or Hubby there aswell lmao

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Ironicaly the bigest bullies in my kids school are the pta mums, if you arn't one of them your kid gets sod all.. Any trip with limmited spaces is instantly filled by them, they are the dinner ladys or class assistants, so there kids can do anything they want, I swear even the local asda is run by them it's like an uggly betty maffia..."

thats easy ...bit of statistical analysis then off to the governors with a hand delivered letter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like it or not bullying is part of society, it always has been and always will, and more often than not those that bully never actually realise they are doing it.

If you think back to your school days then it’s probably quite easy to pick out the bully, they were always the big kid who intimidated by throwing his/her weight about, they generally had a few weak willed clingon’s to help keep their ego inflated and they generally tried to make life a misery for those they were CERTAIN of being able to defeat, but never those who just might fight back. That said how many of you would have considered some of your friends to be bullies in the times when for no real reason you were suddenly out of favour and no longer part of the gang. Because that only ever lasted for a couple of days before you all kissed and made up, and then it was someone else’s turn, often that gets ignored but the very act of exclusion in that fashion is a form of bullying.

If you then go onto think about your adult life and the occasions when you are the new kid on the block and how often it is quite difficult to access already established groups. Because we are inherently social animals exclusion is normally short lived but just as at school there will always be a few who wont readily accept. At school this was normally evidenced by the passing of notes in class or at playtime through to today with the exchange of txt, email or pm’s.

We taught our kids that using the old analogy of “Sticks and stones” was a great way to lead their lives and it helped to turn them into well balanced individuals. The bully who will do you physical harm is someone you would do well to avoid but the “name callers” , well just smile and ignore as there are way more important things in life to worry about.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Very nice post Mr Bonk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Very nice post Mr Bonk "

Why thank you miss Honey, you say the nicest things some times........... you going to make it this weekend???????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

Peter Harvey was arrested after the incident on Wednesday at All Saints' Roman Catholic School in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire.

He is also being questioned about alleged attacks on two other schoolchildren.

Parents at the school gates said the 14-year-old boy was allegedly hit with a weight which left him with serious head injuries.

One father said: "It's a massive shock and very sad because if there is something wrong with the teacher it cannot be totally his fault."

Claire Tonks, 23, who was dropping her nephew at the school said: "It's a good school and I can't believe it as it could have been my nephew."

A 48-year-old grandmother added: "The teacher has got to have been pushed to do it because he stands to lose his job."

Chris Holmes, 19, a semi-pro wrestler and former pupil at the school, said: "I'm shocked. He was an all right teacher and a decent guy."

He added: "He was not one of those guys where you would go 'Oh no, I've got him next'."

Tom Blythe, also 19 and a former pupil at the school, said: "I didn't think the pupils would give him stick.

"He was actually a decent bloke and got involved in school plays."

He described the teacher as "a bit of a legend. It must have been serious for him to snap".

The boy who was hurt was taken to King's Mill Hospital in the town but transferred to a specialist unit at Queen's Medical Centre in Nottingham when his condition worsened.

Nottinghamshire County Council, the local education authority, said the boy's condition had "slightly improved".

His family are with him and have asked for privacy, a police spokeswoman said.

The school is in a rundown area of Mansfield, with boarded-up houses lining the street around it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

...."

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was talking to a teacher across the road from us about it.

He just said he's surprised its not a weekly occurance.

Theres an old saying "Even a worm will turn",most teachers must either be masochists or have the patience of saints.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?"

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was talking to a teacher across the road from us about it.

He just said he's surprised its not a weekly occurance.

Theres an old saying "Even a worm will turn",most teachers must either be masochists or have the patience of saints.

XXXX"

It makes you realise what teachers have to put up with. The press seem to be sympathetic to the teacher so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who'd in the right mind want to teach the thugs these days?

Ok most are good kids... but one rotten apple makes the whole barrel stink and everyones life a misery..

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread. "

I think he was seeking whether you were citing the item as an example of bullying or whether it was an example of teahers not being as powerless as was previously stated .

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

[Removed by poster at 10/07/09 08:34:40]

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"I was talking to a teacher across the road from us about it.

He just said he's surprised its not a weekly occurance.

Theres an old saying "Even a worm will turn",most teachers must either be masochists or have the patience of saints.

XXXX

It makes you realise what teachers have to put up with. The press seem to be sympathetic to the teacher so far.

"

The thing is that dicipline begins at home and when teachers become loco parentis ,this should really be in terms of health and safety and observing any personal problems developing in the child .If we want teachers to teach dicipline,we have to equip them with the tools to do it.

just my opinion and not fact of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

Peter Harvey was arrested after the incident on Wednesday at All Saints' Roman Catholic School in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire.

He is also being questioned about alleged attacks on two other schoolchildren.

Parents at the school gates said the 14-year-old boy was allegedly hit with a weight which left him with serious head injuries.

One father said: "It's a massive shock and very sad because if there is something wrong with the teacher it cannot be totally his fault."

Claire Tonks, 23, who was dropping her nephew at the school said: "It's a good school and I can't believe it as it could have been my nephew."

A 48-year-old grandmother added: "The teacher has got to have been pushed to do it because he stands to lose his job."

Chris Holmes, 19, a semi-pro wrestler and former pupil at the school, said: "I'm shocked. He was an all right teacher and a decent guy."

He added: "He was not one of those guys where you would go 'Oh no, I've got him next'."

Tom Blythe, also 19 and a former pupil at the school, said: "I didn't think the pupils would give him stick.

"He was actually a decent bloke and got involved in school plays."

He described the teacher as "a bit of a legend. It must have been serious for him to snap".

The boy who was hurt was taken to King's Mill Hospital in the town but transferred to a specialist unit at Queen's Medical Centre in Nottingham when his condition worsened.

Nottinghamshire County Council, the local education authority, said the boy's condition had "slightly improved".

His family are with him and have asked for privacy, a police spokeswoman said.

The school is in a rundown area of Mansfield, with boarded-up houses lining the street around it.

"
friends of our sons actually go to that school and know the teacher personally ....they all say it was completely out of character.....dont judge til you know the full story....let him who is without sin cast the first stone .....

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

its on its way ...pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread.

I think he was seeking whether you were citing the item as an example of bullying or whether it was an example of teahers not being as powerless as was previously stated ."

Well obviously this teacher was far from powerless.

The outcome and more press and social reaction will be interesting.

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations."

In the absence of any pre existing mental condition of course its a parenting issue . children are born as a blank canvas, its the adults in their lives that write on that canvas and inform that childs behaviour . Bad parenting doesnt necessarily mean the parents dont try hard, it may mean their just trying the wrong methods .if more parents tried making sure their kids UNDERSTOOD the concept of respecting others feelings as themselves instead of where their next video game or packet of crisps was comming from, bullying wouldnt exist . its easier to light up another fag or go shopping than it is to spend the time to sit a child down and reason with it as to why we care about each other and why its wrong to bully someone else . Any one can knock out a kid without any qualification or preamble whatsoever ( you cant own a dog without getting a licence) but there seems to be no sanction or obligation on them to make sure their child is a decent human being . as long as we continue to excuse the parents from taking responsibilty for their kids behaviour this debate will repeat itself indefinitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

when does a cild become and adult with his or her own mind forget about bad parents freedom of thought and respect for ones self some people are not intelligent enough to know they are bullying they have a me myself and i complex take that away and they crumble so they hide behind the fact of im better than you just to mask it and thats in adult life we all bully someone even if its just in jest is that right or wrong

.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations.

In the absence of any pre existing mental condition of course its a parenting issue . children are born as a blank canvas, its the adults in their lives that write on that canvas and inform that childs behaviour . Bad parenting doesnt necessarily mean the parents dont try hard, it may mean their just trying the wrong methods .if more parents tried making sure their kids UNDERSTOOD the concept of respecting others feelings as themselves instead of where their next video game or packet of crisps was comming from, bullying wouldnt exist . its easier to light up another fag or go shopping than it is to spend the time to sit a child down and reason with it as to why we care about each other and why its wrong to bully someone else . Any one can knock out a kid without any qualification or preamble whatsoever ( you cant own a dog without getting a licence) but there seems to be no sanction or obligation on them to make sure their child is a decent human being . as long as we continue to excuse the parents from taking responsibilty for their kids behaviour this debate will repeat itself indefinitely

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

how many of you that post on theese forums have took the piss out of someone you havent met im sure most have is that not bullying also if you hit a bully are you not the one bullying in the eyes in the eyes of the bully cos hes beaten then he or she will stay away from you

when does a cild become and adult with his or her own mind forget about bad parents freedom of thought and respect for ones self some people are not intelligent enough to know they are bullying they have a me myself and i complex take that away and they crumble so they hide behind the fact of im better than you just to mask it and thats in adult life we all bully someone even if its just in jest is that right or wrong

.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations.

In the absence of any pre existing mental condition of course its a parenting issue . children are born as a blank canvas, its the adults in their lives that write on that canvas and inform that childs behaviour . Bad parenting doesnt necessarily mean the parents dont try hard, it may mean their just trying the wrong methods .if more parents tried making sure their kids UNDERSTOOD the concept of respecting others feelings as themselves instead of where their next video game or packet of crisps was comming from, bullying wouldnt exist . its easier to light up another fag or go shopping than it is to spend the time to sit a child down and reason with it as to why we care about each other and why its wrong to bully someone else . Any one can knock out a kid without any qualification or preamble whatsoever ( you cant own a dog without getting a licence) but there seems to be no sanction or obligation on them to make sure their child is a decent human being . as long as we continue to excuse the parents from taking responsibilty for their kids behaviour this debate will repeat itself indefinitely

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread. "

What!!!!!!!!! asking a question Hunni, and your a bully? FFS!

Are you one of life's victims, always you and no one else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most bullies are cured by getting a bloody good hiding.

They can give it but seldom take it.

However,parents aren't allowed to do it,neither are teachers.

So unless they try to bully the wrong person it looks like your stuck with them.

XXXX"

How true. I was bullied at school by a big lad and his mates, untill one day I saw the rignleader around town on his own. I followed him, found a big stick and smaked him around the back of the head with it. He went down like a sack of spuds. I told him if he ever touched me again, I would find him and kill him and I laughed at him as i walked away. Oddly enough, he never came near me after that.

But then on another occasion (I was slightly older) there was another lad who was giving me a hard time. I knew he was having difficulties at home, o I cornered him and spoke to him nicely, telling him that I knew he was having a hard time, but he had no right to take it out on me. We became friendly after that.

There are many ways to deal with bullies and it very much depends upon the type of abuse being given, the person giving it and the position (I wouldn't have a punch up with a female at work, who can be some of the worst bullies of all), but the one thing you can't do is ignore it. That way leads to people cracking up.

Good luck with it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry the last post didnt register my point is people cant blame an adults behaviour on his or her parents or there up bringing they are adults with there own free will nine times out of ten the real bullies will loose in the end either thru life or there own mistakes but children who bully at school there is a factor of peer preasure not all bullying takes a violent form it can also take an accedemic form anyone remember the swots at school i think in one way or another weve all bullied someone it happens even on her by how we judge theese threads its just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Who'd in the right mind want to teach the thugs these days?

Ok most are good kids... but one rotten apple makes the whole barrel stink and everyones life a misery.. "

It appears the poor guy had just come back to work from a stroke brought about through stress.

The kids in his class were singing a mocking verion of a Jacko song, implying the teacher was a psycho.

They wouldn't shut up and he snapped.

What little shits they have to teach these days.

O.K he went over the top but who knows what was going on in his head?

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I really don't know who to feel sorry for the most.........the whole story is just really sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not good at all, think he needs help not incarceration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was always taught to hit first and ask questions later. Sure we had our squabbles early on whilst establishing our place in the pecking order but after that I never got bullied but I was neither a bully myself. I became known as someone who could handle himself if boxed into a corner and was pretty much left alone.

If someone wants to have a pop at me then I'm fine with that as long as they realise they can expect to get reasonably damaged in the process.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations.

In the absence of any pre existing mental condition of course its a parenting issue . children are born as a blank canvas, its the adults in their lives that write on that canvas and inform that childs behaviour . Bad parenting doesnt necessarily mean the parents dont try hard, it may mean their just trying the wrong methods .if more parents tried making sure their kids UNDERSTOOD the concept of respecting others feelings as themselves instead of where their next video game or packet of crisps was comming from, bullying wouldnt exist . its easier to light up another fag or go shopping than it is to spend the time to sit a child down and reason with it as to why we care about each other and why its wrong to bully someone else . Any one can knock out a kid without any qualification or preamble whatsoever ( you cant own a dog without getting a licence) but there seems to be no sanction or obligation on them to make sure their child is a decent human being . as long as we continue to excuse the parents from taking responsibilty for their kids behaviour this debate will repeat itself indefinitely

"

What age do you live in???

Anyone can own a dog - the dog licensing went out may years ago - how come you think all these thugs get to own these staffy pitbull type dogs and reek havok on our streets.

And bullies dont just come from lower class families that smoke Fags and go shopping - they come from ALL classes.

What your saying is so out of touch with reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread.

What!!!!!!!!! asking a question Hunni, and your a bully? FFS!

Are you one of life's victims, always you and no one else?"

Looks like you ARE a bully then. Its not a nice trait you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have lost the ability to teach pur kids about respect for one's elders and to be helpful in the community. Our grandparents knew these things as mainstays of their lives and woe betide them if they trangressed. The local bobby had the power to clip them round the ear and parents couldn't be castigated by the courts for showing some discipline to unruly offspring.

Sadly, today, it's the kids who wield the power:

The power to bully without a strong headmaster to stamp it out because his hands are tied by the local Education Authority who do not want to confront the fact that they have a bullying problem in their schools.

The power to report parents who use physical punishment as a method of control who are then identified as potential abusers and placed on the child offender's register.

The power to ridicule our judicial system as they are minors and know that a few tears here and a disadvantaged past there tugs on the heart strings of some decrepit old judge who should have retired years ago but 'believes in the youth of today as our bright hope for tomorrow'.

I'm not saying that a teacher should beat a child half to death but I can understand why it happened.

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham


"like most of societies ills BAD PARENTING . so obvious .

THAT is SUCH a crap statement to make!!!

And makes me angry in fact.

I am NOT a bully - and have in fact been on the recieving end so many times in my younger years - wont tolerate it now.

.

My brother - of same parents - IS a bully, a terrible bully in fact. My mother used to ask the school for help SO MANY TIMES to help get him under control. No help or advise was given.

So - from SAME family, we have a bully and a non bully - so HOW does that count for my mothers parenting skills???

It doesnt.

Its either in you or its not - and fortunately alot of people can keep it under control in most day to day situations.

In the absence of any pre existing mental condition of course its a parenting issue . children are born as a blank canvas, its the adults in their lives that write on that canvas and inform that childs behaviour . Bad parenting doesnt necessarily mean the parents dont try hard, it may mean their just trying the wrong methods .if more parents tried making sure their kids UNDERSTOOD the concept of respecting others feelings as themselves instead of where their next video game or packet of crisps was comming from, bullying wouldnt exist . its easier to light up another fag or go shopping than it is to spend the time to sit a child down and reason with it as to why we care about each other and why its wrong to bully someone else . Any one can knock out a kid without any qualification or preamble whatsoever ( you cant own a dog without getting a licence) but there seems to be no sanction or obligation on them to make sure their child is a decent human being . as long as we continue to excuse the parents from taking responsibilty for their kids behaviour this debate will repeat itself indefinitely

What age do you live in???

Anyone can own a dog - the dog licensing went out may years ago - how come you think all these thugs get to own these staffy pitbull type dogs and reek havok on our streets.

And bullies dont just come from lower class families that smoke Fags and go shopping - they come from ALL classes.

What your saying is so out of touch with reality."

Who mentioned CLASS . you,re the only one who,s bringing class into this . My comment about fags and shopping was a comment about lazy parenting . parents can be lazy whatever social class they come from . dog licences may no longer exist but at least the point is made that people require no qualification to have a child . Being out of touch with reality is assuming kids are going to behave well towards each other without parental guidance to do so . Or do you think they just wake up one morning and decide to be decent human beings ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not saying that a teacher should beat a child half to death but I can understand why it happened."

Totally agree xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread.

What!!!!!!!!! asking a question Hunni, and your a bully? FFS!

Are you one of life's victims, always you and no one else?

Looks like you ARE a bully then. Its not a nice trait you know. "

Oh dear, I will only pop up if my bullshit, lie or FFS radder twitches. Please enjoy though.

PS, what happened to the patronising Hunni?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Behave people..........no need to all have an argument and accuse people of being bullies in the bullying thread,that would be far too ironic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i was at school a teacher kicked me off my chair cos i was sitting on two legs been a class clown looking back i must have given loads of shit out to them people i can understand why he hit the kid but also i can understand kids nowdays have to push further that teacher has probly seen the change in the way kids act and as parents surley weve seen the way society has changed kids killing kids i was able to play out with my mates with no worries when i was a kid but mine are in the garden not running around on the street so yes he was wrong but remember he might have been worried for his life the kids could have been pushing him with threats and un fortunatly one got it it goes both ways now we knew then not to push things but this is the youth of today hope the kids ok tho mabye more will think next time

david

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can actually trace the increase in bullying and gobby kids that think they are above the law and can do and say what they want,Back to when the cane and corpral punishment was removed from schools and the government made it quite plain that that if you smacked your child you would be delt with

Yes there has always been problems even when corpral punishment was around but things are a lot worse since it went

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i ended been a yp in the 90s i was cockey little nob thinking i was the new thing i never thought that other older more mature people had been there and done that i thought i knew the world and the older people were stoping me now i know they wasnt times change now im worried even going to the shop late and ive been there im old to them so i know nothing at all so when we talk about bullies has our perception stuck in our time and theres is right it there world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A science teacher arrested over a serious assault on a pupil is now being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder.

....

You don't seem to have added anything of your own to it expand where your going with it?

Looks like you see your self as a bit of a bully your self Hunni. Don’t think its really appropriate on this thread.

What!!!!!!!!! asking a question Hunni, and your a bully? FFS!

Are you one of life's victims, always you and no one else?

Looks like you ARE a bully then. Its not a nice trait you know.

Oh dear, I will only pop up if my bullshit, lie or FFS radder twitches. Please enjoy though.

PS, what happened to the patronising Hunni?"

Is this not a perfect example of what is wrong with society today?

Here, on a thread supposedly 'debating' bullying we have people antagonising each other and going on the attack as a form of defence. I mentioned earlier that we've lost the spirit of community that our forebears enjoyed but that is lost for ever as we cannot go back to being able to clip troublesome youngsters around the ear. Why?

Because it wouldn't stop there. We are far too angry as a society to think a simple clip would be enough. Not enough to stop kids getting into trouble, that's not what I'm addressing here. I'm referring to it not being enough to assuage the rage we all feel in general today, which is probably why this teacher snapped in the first place. The kid he attacked had probably done nothing more irksome than any other kid but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when an adult finally decided he'd had enough.

I'd suggest to anyone using these forums as a vent for their anger to stop and think about what we're doing here and try and debate the issues instead of immediately raising the barriers when one's opinion conflicts with someone else's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can actually trace the increase in bullying and gobby kids that think they are above the law and can do and say what they want,Back to when the cane and corpral punishment was removed from schools and the government made it quite plain that that if you smacked your child you would be delt with

Yes there has always been problems even when corpral punishment was around but things are a lot worse since it went "

Indeed, of course there is a complet difference in assulting a child and a slap to the hand or back of the leg. All helps to remind them when they are going too far.

And it's all interesting as to the so called liberals and guardian readers claim that being smacked as a child makes you more of a violent person. So what's the excuse now, with all the violence etc by young people??????????????

I offer the only answer, they have never been effectively punished for their wrong doings, whilst they were growing up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is there such thing as a bully nowdays i mean a bully as we know it or should it be reclassified as pecking order cos to me it seems everyone takes what they can and gives nothing back not even the decency to help someone in need its all ballsed up the world is mad we cant even pick up a paper without reading about someone or other been kiled or maimed or in pain so i dont belive bullying is what we know it as maybe it the change of pase we havent picked up on maybe its the norm now for everyone to win cos how many have said they would hit back if a group of 13 14 15 yr olds stoped anyone one of us in the street how many can say they would be justfied in hitting them even for there own saftey the law would send you down for years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I have no intention of standing still while a group of youths kick my head in just so that the law can be satisfied. Like I said before, if they wanna have a go at me then they best be prepared to eat through a straw for a considerable length of time. I make no distinction between the booted foot of an adult and the booted foot of an adolescent if it's anywhere in the proximity of my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not saying that but can you fight 5 or six knifes a guy gets kicked to death out side his house i dont care hour hard a guy is can square go but im not that hard to beat a bullett i know what its like to be stabbed and be cornered i was lucky many are not to me one man dont scare a bull but 10 do sorry if ive sounded obtuce no offence ment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chances are when I take the dog out at night or meet Trace late on,I'm usualy carrying an 'equaliser'.

If me or mine were set upon in any way,shape or form I'd use it to maximum effect.

O.K,chances are I'd get nicked for it but I'd rather be tried by twelve than carried by six.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chances are when I take the dog out at night or meet Trace late on,I'm usualy carrying an 'equaliser'.

If me or mine were set upon in any way,shape or form I'd use it to maximum effect.

O.K,chances are I'd get nicked for it but I'd rather be tried by twelve than carried by six.

XXXX"

i do agree with your way of thinking but dont it prove about countless deaths and folk getting killed when you pull the equalizer and go to jail who looks after the wife and home it needs to stop life isnt life anymore weve got an atitude ill do them and then the time who saves the family when you are in jail for 15 or 10 for carring the family is alone then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With the way the law is these days I'd probably just have to clip old dears hedges for a week.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its just my thouhts my friend id prefer clip hedges i did 5 in with the bullies ill run like a fox now and be with the wife instead of going into the lions den no offence meat i hope xxx more than one way to catch a chiken coward

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