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Worst chat up you've used or been given?

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By *orn_ball11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Portrush

Grab your coat you've pulled. Theres 2op phone ur folks tell them you won't be home... or perhaps howd you like your eggs fertilized or non fertilized... SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't remember but I know I have had some god awful ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think this is a Jimmy carr one... walk up to a girl, hand her your drink and say....mind that til I come back. .im going for a shit.if she's still there when you get back.....you've pulled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name's Dick.

dya like it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like wine gums??? Yeah?? Well wine yer gums round this baby.

Truly bad chat up line lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to kiss you softly on the lips, then move up to your bellybutton.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a farmer? Because you look like you could raise a cock.

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

Someone beckoning me over with their little finger in a bar, after I'd gone over he said "if I can make you come that easy with my little finger imagine what my cock could do"

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

So funny the lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone beckoning me over with their little finger in a bar, after I'd gone over he said "if I can make you come that easy with my little finger imagine what my cock could do" "

*discreetly makes a private note of that one*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone beckoning me over with their little finger in a bar, after I'd gone over he said "if I can make you come that easy with my little finger imagine what my cock could do" "

Was used on Mrs M at the club a few weeks back....worked a treat! Lol

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

Is that a mirror in your knickers as I can see myself in them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you a farmer? Because you look like you could raise a cock."

give over, that's class that is

Why if I were a lady I'd be swooning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this girl come over to me and say am I shagging you? Only I'm banging this black guy but I'm always d*unk when he comes around and I'm not sure.

Pathetic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine has to be

Fancy going half's on a bastard

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Hey this is crazy so here's my number so call me maybe?" I actually used it & it worked haha

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I like big women and you're gorgeous.

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By *igal17Man
over a year ago

Ayr SW Scotland

Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Do you like fruit?

Suck this, it's a peach.

And one I've used (I knew her reasonably well):-

"I bet you a quid I can make your tits move without touching them"

"Go on then"

Give the tits a good jiggle with both hands.

"You said without touching them!"

"So I did, here's the quid"

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By *dam123321Man
over a year ago

London


"Someone beckoning me over with their little finger in a bar, after I'd gone over he said "if I can make you come that easy with my little finger imagine what my cock could do"

*discreetly makes a private note of that one*"

Thought i was the only one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in live at first sight? Or shall I walk by again

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By *dam123321Man
over a year ago

London


"I think mine has to be

Fancy going half's on a bastard "

LOOOOOOL THAT IS HILARIOUS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do ya like chicken?

Well suck on this it's foul

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By *dam123321Man
over a year ago

London


"I think mine has to be

Fancy going half's on a bastard "

LOOOOOOL THAT IS HILARIOUS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think mine has to be

Fancy going half's on a bastard

LOOOOOOL THAT IS HILARIOUS "

Your pinching it aren't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want to kiss you softly on the lips, then move up to your bellybutton. "

I thought it would involve tea bagging

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By *ubik cubeMan
over a year ago

Near Liverpool

Have you seen my magic watch?

It's telling me you're wearing no knickers.

Oops, sorry it's an hour fast!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I've had 'My cock has died, can I bury it in your vagina'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once asked a barmaid "what time do you get off?" She said "at 12".

I said "do you mind if I watch?".

Actually worked, got her number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like big women and you're gorgeous.

"

What did she say?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"I like big women and you're gorgeous.

What did she say?"

As if I would list any ones I've used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once asked a barmaid "what time do you get off?" She said "at 12".

I said "do you mind if I watch?".

Actually worked, got her number."

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By *orn_ball11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Portrush

KEEP THEM COMING FANTASTIC! Here's some more...

DO U LIKE LETTUCE ??? WELL LETTUCE BUCK YOU... SECONDLY is ( Do you eat turnip ? Cause I could turn up & fuck you...

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

Half way thru a date, he asked me "so what would you give me out of 10?" I replied "9 because no man is perfect" he then asked me to ask him same, so I did, he replied "I'd give you one" and then gave me a big snog!

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By *dam123321Man
over a year ago

London


"I think mine has to be

Fancy going half's on a bastard

LOOOOOOL THAT IS HILARIOUS

Your pinching it aren't you "

Most definitely

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By *dam123321Man
over a year ago

London


"Half way thru a date, he asked me "so what would you give me out of 10?" I replied "9 because no man is perfect" he then asked me to ask him same, so I did, he replied "I'd give you one" and then gave me a big snog!"

Top lad, we can all learn from his Ladness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Half way thru a date, he asked me "so what would you give me out of 10?" I replied "9 because no man is perfect" he then asked me to ask him same, so I did, he replied "I'd give you one" and then gave me a big snog!"

That's a good'un, making a mental note of that!

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By *ittle missnaughtyWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Are you knees hurting ?

No!

Are you sure as you just fell from heaven.

By my now EX

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

I will kindly give away this little gem because I'm nice like that I will simply go upto a a girl an say 'Do you know who you remind me of?' They will usually reply 'no' expecting ne to say a movie star or pop star etc an I will say 'somebody id like to meet' I'll then introduce myself kiss on the cheek or handshake etc. Usually gets a laugh an is a good way of breaking the ice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You remind me of my third ex-wife"

Then she asks how many times I've been married

"Twice"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember the first time I met my ex husband, he asked me if I wanted a coffee, we where in the town centre in the middle of the day, so I said ok (like a twat ) so we started walking to what I assumed would be a cafe, as we started heading out of town I asked where we was going as there was no café's round here and he said, I know I just live up the road I was going to make you one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home


"Fancy a fuck "

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck "

Winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB "

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Winner "

I thought so too straight to the point

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then "

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB "

I'm here MrsSB, fancy a fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB "

Oh make your mind up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once asked a barmaid "what time do you get off?" She said "at 12".

I said "do you mind if I watch?".

Actually worked, got her number.

"

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I once asked a barmaid "what time do you get off?" She said "at 12".

I said "do you mind if I watch?".

Actually worked, got her number.

"

did something similar with a shot girl asking if I want to buy a shot I replied 'I would rather buy you dinner' we skipped to desert later

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

Oh make your mind up "

I'm a woman. I don't need too. Using stereotypes to my advantage

MrsSB

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

I'm here MrsSB, fancy a fuck?"

No cuddles?

Alright then

MrsSB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

Oh make your mind up

I'm a woman. I don't need too. Using stereotypes to my advantage

MrsSB "

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

Oh make your mind up

I'm a woman. I don't need too. Using stereotypes to my advantage

MrsSB

"

Go bed. You need to be reset for the morning thread or Tosh will bit you to it.

Mrs SB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a fuck

Excuse me. It's the best line. Well only when I say it.

MrsSB

Typical I'[ll get mi coat and go then

Don't go. Will miss you

Soooo needy

MrsSB

Oh make your mind up

I'm a woman. I don't need too. Using stereotypes to my advantage

MrsSB

Go bed. You need to be reset for the morning thread or Tosh will bit you to it.

Mrs SB "

Not yet

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL


"Half way thru a date, he asked me "so what would you give me out of 10?" I replied "9 because no man is perfect" he then asked me to ask him same, so I did, he replied "I'd give you one" and then gave me a big snog!

Top lad, we can all learn from his Ladness "

Well it made me giggle and it worked, he did give me one!. Lol

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By *orn_ball11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Portrush

Woman says... youve got go to bed eye's... man replies... right well in this case im off to bed...

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