FabSwingers.com forum: Another question

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Going on from Views thread.

A scenario... a single person from this site met someone ( on this site or away from it )and didn't want to share that person so settled into a relationship without swinging.

As we all know, not everyone CAN share otherwise the whole population would be swinging.

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine if the whole nation where swingers lol would be like the Roman times mass orgies all over lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

[Removed by poster at 23/03/11 14:57:31]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"Going on from Views thread.

A scenario... a single person from this site met someone ( on this site or away from it )and didn't want to share that person so settled into a relationship without swinging.

As we all know, not everyone CAN share otherwise the whole population would be swinging.

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

hmmm not sure on this, as no one should do anything they do not want to do ,however they would need to have a look at themselves in terms of doing unto others as you would hve them do unto you ...is this tough question day or something ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I actually know of a Couple who are EXACTLY in that position, both swingers as singles for a few years, and very active in the scene down this way.

They met at a swingers party in North Devon and started to see each other (dating), at the point it started to look a little more serious they stopped swinging completely as HE decided he couldn't possible share her with anyone else.

I have bumped into them a few times since they stopped swinging, I am not competely sure that she is 100% happy to have been asked to give it all in.

But that is the situation she now finds herself in.....rightly or wrongly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The married person they did the swinging with had made the choice to be available for extra marital - either with or without the knowlege of their spouse. Their decision. If individuals don't/do want to sleep with attached then thats their decision too. Availabilty to have sex in all sorts of combos is always going to be there.

If the formerly now coupled up former swinger decides they don't want to share, then their partner should take that into consideration and ask what the consequences would be if they did. Then the consequences should be told. Anything that happens between a couple is a couple decision and should not be based on past behaviour just what they want in the here and now together, in my opinion.

The day you play tit for tat in any relationship spells disaster - not just in sexual matters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But isn't that the thing though? none of us know how far we can take things?

When we first started playing we didn't know if what we were about to do would be a turn on or turn off once it crossed over from fantasy to reality....so although single people may share other couples spouses, I don't suppose you would know until it came to the crunch wether you could or not?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Imagine if the whole nation where swingers lol would be like the Roman times mass orgies all over lol

Heaven !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

Erm no... I don't think anyone should do anything they don't want to do. Sharing is never about 'should', it's about consensual fun between adults.

When I first joined the swinging scene I never thought I'd be able to share a partner and had quite a lot of admiration for couples doing it. I like swinging as a single because I only have myself to please. I don't have the jealous gene though and as the years have gone on my _iews have changed quite a lot with the experiences I've had.

However, coupling up with a buddy on occasion recently has given me some insight in both my desire to share our fun with others AND just how difficult it is to swing as a couple. He's much less, erm, fussy(?!) than me and doesn't have nearly as much criteria for potential play mates. It's proving difficult to reach a happy medium but it's certainly doable.

Watching someone I fuck, fuck someone else, just makes me want to fuck them more!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't play with multiples Ruggers, so can't really answer this one. Another good question though!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But isn't that the thing though? none of us know how far we can take things?

You're right nobody knows whats around the corner or what person might'change our ways' if any.

But we do know if we have yearnings or a tendency to have sex with others outside of the relationship - or indeed if we are just flirties. Either as a couple or secretly.

Some people can't even stand a spouse looking in the direction of anyone else. Its all about agreed boundaries. Only those in a relationship knows whats best for theirs to work well and when to tell and when to withdraw their activities with members of the opposite sex - be it merely lunch with a colleauge on a daily platonic basis to full blown sexual affair with another person, when they are apart then if it is crossing the agreed boundaries it will have consequences. Good or bad.

Perhaps we should go back to roman times - monogamy is a very unnatural state for the human race and is well documented that we were made to wander from mate to mate... remove the stigma of sleeping around then everyone might be getting exactly what they crave sexually

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think the guys in this scenario would have the problem sharing..

you see it many times over when couples hook up on here... he/they go immediately into the no single guy bashing..

I know different but a clue into their thinking x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But is that a bad thing?

Dirtygirl mentioned what I think everyone should stick to...if you are not comfortable with something you don't do it...if they didn't want to swing with their new partner is that just doing what is comfortable for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Not a bad thing at all..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Sometimes I see on "new couples" profiles that they have met swinging but only want to meet single fems now.....thats when I get all cynical and go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging will always be there if you both met through swinging and the relationship was great all loved up yes I would give it up to give that relationship ago you cant build foundations with other people involved. Saying that once we were established a couple of years down the line it would'nt hurt to broach the subject if need be as we have both come from the same back ground would rather swing than cheat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going on from Views thread.

A scenario... a single person from this site met someone ( on this site or away from it )and didn't want to share that person so settled into a relationship without swinging.

As we all know, not everyone CAN share otherwise the whole population would be swinging.

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

no strings are apparently attached when swinging, so therefore no obligations hanging over you for now or the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going on from Views thread.

A scenario... a single person from this site met someone ( on this site or away from it )and didn't want to share that person so settled into a relationship without swinging.

As we all know, not everyone CAN share otherwise the whole population would be swinging.

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?

no strings are apparently attached when swinging, so therefore no obligations hanging over you for now or the future."

Not everyone can be monogomous though if people cant be faithful then swinging is another road to go down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the guys in this scenario would have the problem sharing..

you see it many times over when couples hook up on here... he/they go immediately into the no single guy bashing..

I know different but a clue into their thinking x"

Does this attitude come from the fact that men can walk away from swinging with little or no future issues where the swinging females could in effect find themselves unwittingly trapped relationship wise.

Easy for fella's to laugh of their past sexual activities where the opposite is normally the case for females.

They either have to lie and hope for the best or risk revealing all 'at some point' and possibly losing all ?

That age old double standard again eh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wurs7WTYGjo

i found this on youtube and thought it was so funny. Its a Jimmy Carr sketch from one of his shows..

felt it went well with this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

Do you mean that in a sort of "'ey up I've brought the new Mrs round to pay you back for the 3 blow jobs I had from yours" ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the guys in this scenario would have the problem sharing..

you see it many times over when couples hook up on here... he/they go immediately into the no single guy bashing..

I know different but a clue into their thinking x

Easy for fella's to laugh of their past sexual activities where the opposite is normally the case for females.

They either have to lie and hope for the best or risk revealing all 'at some point' and possibly losing all ?

That age old double standard again eh."

I could'nt agree more its the age old guy that wants to marry a virgin god forbid that we should have more sexual experiences/partners than them after all I am used goods.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going on from Views thread.

A scenario... a single person from this site met someone ( on this site or away from it )and didn't want to share that person so settled into a relationship without swinging.

As we all know, not everyone CAN share otherwise the whole population would be swinging.

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

For me there are two seperate issues inherent in this question. If as a single swinger you fell in love and settled down would you want your partner to have sex with others, the second part is would you want to have sex with others.

The second part is easy for me to answer, I don't believe I would want sex elsewhere.

The first part is not up to me, it would be her decision on whether she wanted to have extra marital sex. Completely her decision.

So the idea of me wanting to retrospectively 'farm' my wife out as payback for my earlier sexual exploits seems strange. It would also suggest that I in some way have the 'right' to expect that of her.

I would hope (and am cofident) that any couple meeting me was doing so because of the benefits meeting a single guy can bring to their sex life today, and not because of some warped type of 'buy now pay later' scenario.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im glad that ive not always been a swinger. Me and him didnt meet whilst swinging, so we have known life before swinging. Whilst I dont judge any couple who have met whilst swinging and continued the lifestyle as a couple, I know how exciting that is, im glad I have experienced a monogomous relationship.

When we meet single guys, I dont look on it as the single guys are sharing me. The experience, whilst this sounds selfish, is solely for the benefit of me and my OH. Both of us get a huge kick out of it, and we always end up having great sex together, the threesome turns us on, but when we are turned on, we reach for each other too. We are exhibitionists, so the thought of others watching us have sex turns us on. If a single guys wants to meet us thinking that he is solely gonna get my attentions whilst my OH sits in a corner on his own wanking, is sorely mistaken. We dont leave people out of course, but all three are equally active. Therefore we dont _iew the threesome as me being shared, but as a new experience for the two of us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?

Do you mean that in a sort of "'ey up I've brought the new Mrs round to pay you back for the 3 blow jobs I had from yours" ?"

lol not quite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually know of a Couple who are EXACTLY in that position, both swingers as singles for a few years, and very active in the scene down this way.

I have bumped into them a few times since they stopped swinging, I am not competely sure that she is 100% happy to have been asked to give it all in.

But that is the situation she now finds herself in.....rightly or wrongly."

This reminds me of a single guy i know, who although is active in the swinger scene, doesnt really understand it.

And therefore uses it just to get 'easy' sex.

Apparently he detests the idea of his future 'woman' being shared. Yet until then, he only plays with couples as a single guy!

I do find his attitude to swinging difficult!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

to many men want there cake and eat it but dont want other half to have the same!

we are a funny breed lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im glad that ive not always been a swinger. Me and him didnt meet whilst swinging, so we have known life before swinging. Whilst I dont judge any couple who have met whilst swinging and continued the lifestyle as a couple, I know how exciting that is, im glad I have experienced a monogomous relationship.

Good post.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent post. But I have to add - you are the most incredibly sexy woman I have seen on this site. Stunning. Any bloke participating in your threesome must get a lot out of it too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 24/03/11 09:08:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My question was more..............

What do you think of men who share ( insert whatever word you want to use) mens wives when swinging, but then won't play at swinging if they get a partner?

Would that bother you incase they were thinking " oh gawd no, my own mrs I wouldn't share" ( because they wouldn't think it was right for their own partner to) ....... or would you think "maybe he just can't hack seeing his wife with someone else"?

There are lots of people about who can't play these games even if they do swing now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

As always all good things come 2 an end and if 1 party dont want 2 share and the other does then theres a recipe 4 desaster its all in or nuffin ,but if they are still playing with others but wont share theyrs nw thats a differend story so ovcourse they should the selfish bastwards lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol @kat and ally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i for one definitely couldn't give the lifestyle up

But strangely enough i would actually love a normal relationship

It just wouldn't work for me xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

This reminds me of a single guy i know, who although is active in the swinger scene, doesnt really understand it.

And therefore uses it just to get 'easy' sex.

Apparently he detests the idea of his future 'woman' being shared. Yet until then, he only plays with couples as a single guy!

I do find his attitude to swinging difficult!!

I was chatting to someone last week who cannot see how a man could 'share' 'his woman' - although he is happy to participate in the sharing at the moment as a single man. He was actually quite neanderthal in his _iews and I was glad it was only a social chat. He's not the first I've come across to have a similar _iewpoint, but his was the most extreme. Sort of if he was with a woman then she'd have no desire/ need to shag anyone else. Seemed to come from a pov that men 'share' their wives with single males purely because they can't satisfy tehm themselves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Well i for one definitely couldn't give the lifestyle up

But strangely enough i would actually love a normal relationship

It just wouldn't work for me xx

So by that I am guessing you wouldn't mind seeing your other half play too?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Do you think they should just because they have shared other peoples wives/husbands while swinging?"

Not at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i for one definitely couldn't give the lifestyle up

But strangely enough i would actually love a normal relationship

It just wouldn't work for me xx

So by that I am guessing you wouldn't mind seeing your other half play too?

I have never had a problem with that lol i loves ta see that xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive seen both sides of the coin so to speak.

Met a guy who didnt want me "messing" with anyone else re swinging and stayed by side all around chams just in case.

And have met someone i didnt want to share with anyone else but only because in my eyes we had to iron out the do,s and donts of the relationship.

He turned out to want the other but once again, didnt want me to so it reversed it self.

Soooooo now i "dont" have relationships at all.

Its to stressful to say the least.

I do see someone and have done for over 3 yrs but we good mates and i love him to bits but im NOT in love with him.

Suits us both

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread