FabSwingers.com forum: Fern Britton ,,, SUICIDE is brave?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fern said that she thinks people who commit suicide are "brave" and admitted that she took anti-depressants for five years.

The former This Morning host, aged 53, said that at her lowest point she felt like "vanishing" and explained: "When I hear people have taken their lives, I think, 'how brave'.

"I understand people saying, 'how selfish'. But the person who has been in such mental torture, the bravery of doing that, I don't say it's admirable, but I understand it."

what do you think ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the run up promos to her new show are anything to go by she needs to ditch the upbeat I love everyone image she's putting out or its gonna be career suicide. She has an excellent formula why change it? I like when she stands in for Jeremy Vine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing brave about suicide. Its to do with depression, and depressed people are cocooned in their own thoughts when they get to that stage. I doubt bravery comes into it, just desperation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

let see if shes brave enough to do it!! i live with some one who gets very depressed sometimes, she a silly cow!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Depression for alot of people can be a scary thing and i dont think alot of people really understand it. Hard to think of people like fern having this as to the out side world people must think she has the lot ... i know people take there own lifes for all sorts of resons ... just glad i have never been that low in my life as i feel you must be to do this .....and feel theres no way out and you need peace of mind..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing brave about suicide. Its to do with depression, and depressed people are cocooned in their own thoughts when they get to that stage. I doubt bravery comes into it, just desperation."

Got to agree - not many serious suicidals make a cry for help in a failed attempt or talk openly about it when they get better. They do it or they don't do it.

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

A (depressed) person does not attempt to commit suicide because they are feeling brave. They do it because they feel hopeless and can see no other way forward.

I dislike Fern at the best of times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not brave at all..i think in a way its a cowards way out ?? and its so devastating for the people they leave behind..my good friend killed himself 2 months ago i was chatting with him 5 days before i cant help wondering why i didnt see the signs ?????and his closer friends and family are all thinking the same ....he seemed to have such a great life ?? but you never really know what is in peoples heads on THAT day ? RIP mate

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"A (depressed) person does not attempt to commit suicide because they are feeling brave. They do it because they feel hopeless and can see no other way forward.

I dislike Fern at the best of times. "

The person may be scared of dying but sees it as the better option to carrying on. Sometimes they think their family will be better of without them (financially because of life assurance, emotionally because living with a severe depressive is emotionally and physically draining etc) and they think they are actually helping the situation by ending their life.

No two depressives are the same. A complex situation. Hard to grasp unless you've experienced it in some way, and even then still hard to understand and even harder to try and communicate to others.

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

i have suffered with depression for 7yrs now and too have felt like taking my life many of times in the past,i wudnt say it is down to bravery,like the posts above u are in ur own thoughts alot of the time sometimes it feels like ur under water and u cant get out,the most horrible thing to go through but i think alot of ppl dont understand depression,i have had ppl say to me why are u depressed,u have nothing to be depressed about,sometimes u dont know the cause.sorry rant over lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think suicide is sometimes the only route certain people think they have left in life and that makes me really sad. There will always be another road to take but sadly they don't see or feel it.

My mum committed suicide a couple of years ago..and I found her.

That devastating moment will remain with me forever and if they think their loved ones will be better off without them... they are so wrong. They leave behind people who think 'if only we had done something' and that haunts you every day.

I feel for every suicide victim and the families/friends left behind..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My heart goes out to you _iew.

What an awful situation.

I tried many years ago to "end" it all.

I certainly didnt think of those i would have left behind.

In hindsight it was a very selfish thing to do and has only been in the last 10 years ive thought that life is so precious and so worth hanging onto.

For those who have suffered because of someone actions or those with a mental health problem. my heart goes out to you all.

And...seek help. its out there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was a samaritan come across all sorts.. i was there just for people to chat too be non-judgemental and offer support 9 times out of ten when a persons upset worried thay just need a person to chat to ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i lost my father to suicide 3 years ago after battling depression for many years he was 54 he left no notes and my then 6 year old found him , it is not brave it is selfish he has left so many unanswered questions i know why it was because of his illness but he knew what he was doing at the time it was pre planned so for me i find it difficult to agree with fern

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was a samaritan come across all sorts.. i was there just for people to chat too be non-judgemental and offer support 9 times out of ten when a persons upset worried thay just need a person to chat to ...."

thank god for the samaritans ....when my ex left me i had NO ONE to help...but they were there to listen even at 3 o clock in the morning ..i phoned their number so much they were on my friends and family on my BT home phone account !!!

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

It all boils down 2 a 5 second thought ov madness which leads in2 a life time ov misery,millions ov ppl in this world suffer depression but theres only a very tiny proportion of that then go ahead and top themselvs so brave?? errrrrrmmm i dont know bout brave but in severe need of help,yes but then on the other hand ,how can u help them ppl who realy need it when they wont ask for it or are 2 proud 2 so there for, whats the point in bothering if they are not bothered to help themselvs coz there are ppl there that will help so its a catch 22 if they gonna do it then they will and if its a cry for help then theyll take a load of tablets and then tell sum 1 theyve done it for the attention .Ive lost a few good mates suicide ,mainly through hanging and the common question at the wakes is ,"Why did they not cum and talk 2 me ,they new we would have helped",and the answer is that they didnt want help they had they own selfish reasons for doing it and the only ppl that will ever know why is them and they aint ere 2 answer 4 it ,so brave absolutly not ,selfish idiots ,most deffinatly

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

One doesn’t have to be depressed when deciding they wish to end their life.

I’m a great believer in euthanasia, just because someone decides they wish to end their life doesn’t mean their mentally unstable.

As for those who commit suicide, we often hear the word “selfish” branded about, I don’t _iew them as selfish, the difficulty is, if they were to be honest and confide in someone they wanted to end their life, 99.9% of the population would try and talk them out of it, which is the last thing those intent on committing suicide want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Son in Law committed suicide when our grandson was only 7 months old. He had suffered with severe depression for some time and after many attempts to treat his depression I feel that he believed it was the only course left open to him at the time.

It was no cry for help. He drove into the middle of nowhere (he was in South Africa) and gassed himself in his car. he wasn't found for three days.

We all went through different stages,believing he was selfish,then brave,then just a total cunt for leaving his son. I don't feel any of these things now except for a grudging kind of respect for the man coupled with sadness.

whether our daughter ever tells our son how he died is another thing.He's just turned 4. We tell him about his dad and teach him some Afrikaans and he has been to S.Africa 3 times already.He's the spitting image of his dad too which makes things harder for our girl. but she's strong and we know she will do what is best for her and her son

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard because it leaves so many unanswered questions.

Then you go through the grieving process which can include anger, sadness , remorse etc...

So many stages .

And then your left still with the unanswered questions .

And top of the list has to be "why" ???

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"The former This Morning host, aged 53, said that at her lowest point she felt like "vanishing" and explained: "When I hear people have taken their lives, I think, 'how brave'.

I understand what she means here, at my lowest point with my depression I just wanted it to stop, to go to sleep and never wake up....but I never considered suicide, well maybe breifly as a fleeting thought (but most of us have at some point in our lives), it was more wanting to just not be here till I felt better, to close my eyes and when I opened them again I would be the old me again and to "feel" again not be swamped by total emptyness.

I dont profess to totally understanding why people comit suicide but after suffering with depression I can empathise with them to a degree.

Be it brave or selfish the ripples of suicide can be devistating.

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"It all boils down 2 a 5 second thought ov madness which leads in2 a life time ov misery,millions ov ppl in this world suffer depression but theres only a very tiny proportion of that then go ahead and top themselvs so brave?? errrrrrmmm i dont know bout brave but in severe need of help,yes but then on the other hand ,how can u help them ppl who realy need it when they wont ask for it or are 2 proud 2 so there for, whats the point in bothering if they are not bothered to help themselvs coz there are ppl there that will help so its a catch 22 if they gonna do it then they will and if its a cry for help then theyll take a load of tablets and then tell sum 1 theyve done it for the attention ."

Help isn't easily found sometimes. I know a 'professional' person who has battled with severe depression for years. His last attempt he was found trying to hang himself by his 11 year old daughter. His wife made him phone the out of hours GP (a saurday afternoon) - over an hour later a psych person, an ambulance and 3 cars of armed police turned up and blocked their street. No psych report was ever submitted to his GP - first GP knew was when wife mentioned it 2 weeks later. He wanted and needed help but gave out such a good cover up that people found it hard to believe how bad he was, even professionals. He'd been to GP several times before for help - told to 'pull himself together' and was offered to be signed off sick from work - that's not help..

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

And top of the list has to be "why" ???"

I don't think they know themselves - it's just an end to their misery. They are so depressed that they cannpt comprehend what their actions will do to those left behind. It's not that they're selfish (a _iew i used to hold), but that they can't see beyond their issues because they are all encompassing and many of them genuinely believe those left behind will be better off without them, for whatever reason. They really don't think rationally - it's all skewed and a very sad state of affairs

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

where i live in blackpool there was a story in the paper awhile ago that a young lad tryed to get sectioned because i was scared what he might do to himself,the hospital assessed him deemed him fit and let him go as he left he went to the seefront and set fire to himself.wud fern still think that was brave?!

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"where i live in blackpool there was a story in the paper awhile ago that a young lad tryed to get sectioned because i was scared what he might do to himself,the hospital assessed him deemed him fit and let him go as he left he went to the seefront and set fire to himself.wud fern still think that was brave?!"

Sheesh! - If that wasn't a cry for real help, then what is??

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

Sheesh! - If that wasn't a cry for real help, then what is??

i know it makes u sometimes mad at these so called professionals who assess them and think they are alright

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression and suicide do not necessarily go hand in hand. We use the word "depression" so cavalierly that its true meaning is diminished.

I'm guilty of that too. I find having a bad hair day "depressing". In some ways I should know better: finding my son dead, reviving him and watching him die in his dad's arms as they unplugged his life support machine was the lowest point in my life. Each day was a struggle. The day of his funeral I necked two bottles of Remy's, it didn't even register. The following months were a blur and I stopped driving for a while as all I wanted to do was drive into a wall and end it.

It wasn't brave, it was selfish. I was hurting, yes, but I had two little girls that needed me, and a husband equally at a lost.

I sometimes think suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

They say depression is the "silent killer" because it quietly takes away our desire to enjoy life.

As with all mental health issues we do not understand much of this illness but this is improving and there is much more support and understanding available than there was say even 10 years ago.

Sassy it was with sadness I read your post about your experience when your son died and how you felt afterwards and I do empathise with those feelings, you had a strength in you which was your other children and husband who needed you and couldnt have gone through that pain again with losing you.

I think that is what stops many people taking the final steps, but not always. I believe thier mental state does not allow for rational thoughts with relation to thier importance in peoples lives, they feel so bad they can't see how still being around is good for the people they love, and feel they would be better off without them.

An extreme suicide case just recently near to me is when a young mother also took the life of her child. I dont wish to be graphic here but after she killed her child, she then cleaned her and put her in her night clothes on the bed next to herself and made a concerted effort to take her own life. She didnt think her child would be happy without her.

Many many people have condemed her actions. I for one certainly dont condone them but I also feel a great sadness that someone feels so lost they take this action.

The mothers suicide bid failed, she still lives...without the child she killed, how can anybody survive that?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 22/03/11 18:43:40]

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that"

im sorry but that really made me laugh!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that

im sorry but that really made me laugh!

Well im glad you found it funny, i didnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think suicide is sometimes the only route certain people think they have left in life and that makes me really sad. There will always be another road to take but sadly they don't see or feel it.

My mum committed suicide a couple of years ago..and I found her.

I feel for every suicide victim and the families/friends left behind.."

Had to comment on this. My mum took a overdose when I was 7 years old, I found her lay in bed. I spent 10 minutes trying to wake her up, with my 3 year old sister crying because she had no socks to wear. I knocked at my next door neighbours house and they called an ambulance...Luckily my mum survived but for me! Its there in my head day in day out. I suffer from severe depression myself but I would never dream of putting my children through what me and my sister went through.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Nothing brave about suicide. Its to do with depression, and depressed people are cocooned in their own thoughts when they get to that stage. I doubt bravery comes into it, just desperation."

I would agree with this, people with suicidal ideation are rarely capable of empathising with those they leave behind. This is not an indication that they are selfish people, it just means that life in all its implications is too painful for them to bear and ending it all seems like the only option.

On a slightly more positive note, it is good to see that the Government are now recognising the importance of investing into Mental Health and also are actively trying to reduce the stigma associated with mental health problems.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that"
oooo no and i love your posts here .... even on this i would have liked to have seen it x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that oooo no and i love your posts here .... even on this i would have liked to have seen it x"

lol, its a good thing it didnt post with hindsight i went into supersonic essay mode lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive just written about 3000 words and it cut it off, guess fate had a reason for that oooo no and i love your posts here .... even on this i would have liked to have seen it x

lol, its a good thing it didnt post with hindsight i went into supersonic essay mode lol"
maybe you can put it into a short post xx

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

euthinasia is slightly different to this topic realy dont u think ??

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Well, thats got to be the dumbest thing a celebrity has said publicly for a long time.

I will not debate the "selfish / brave" arguement, personal experience has put too raw an edge on that for me.

But for someone to say this in public when they know their words will be broadcast to a wider audience is not very clever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's cowardice or brave to take one's own life. I'm sure that those that do succeed would have been deemed to be mentally ill to do it, but the reality is that one has to be quite clear about one's actions to plan and execute suicide.

It never ceases to amaze me that people think only of the ones left behind to grieve, what about the poor bugger who felt there was no other option available to them apart from suicide? It does sound a tad selfish to bemoan about the loss of a friend or a loved one when the real guilt is of oneself and one's failure to act or spot the signs - sometimes there aren't any signs to spot.

I can imagine that to a person tired of living, their body becomes as much of a prison cell as bricks and mortar would be to a convict, and all they want is release, peace and freedom. I can understand that, whilst also feel pity that there wasn't another way of getting through one's troubles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when people feel that there is no other way.....

that their life aint worth living....

they have no one to talk to......

and think no one will listen.......

they then think about ending their life.......

personally i think it must take a lot of courage to carry out the action of commiting suicide

a suicidal person can sometimes only see nothing but negative reasons for staying alive and it only adds to their problems by NOT killing themselves

getting back to the OP......is Fern Britton really the best qualified person to be allowed to air her opinion on such a sensitive matter on national TV

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I cant type everything i wrote before so will just give the basics.

There are different types of suicide, suicide attempts

Some people commit suicide/para suicide in a blind panic, maybe they have done something seriously wrong, maybe they have lost their job for what ever reason at that given moment that is the only way out.

People with severe mental health problems, up to 15% of people with bi-polar will commit suicide, this is suicide and not parasuicide not sure on the figures for parasuicide but i would guess around 60%.

More men commit suicide

More women commit parasuicide

Some of the reasoning behind this is the fact that women can talk about there feelings/emotions more than men, its not deemed manly.

Women visit the doctor more, especially in child baring years therefore are more likely to mention how they feel on one of these visits. Men are less likely to make an appointment because of how they are feeling.

Then you get the attention seekers, these people usually take a handful of tablets then call the emergency services, a stupid and dangerous game to play and i hold little sympathy for these.

Is suicide brave or cowardly? I would say neither, the ones that do it in a blink of mad moment dont stop and think and those that do it because they are severely ill cant help it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought genuine suicide attempts through finding life too difficult was when your coping mechinisms become overloaded, this isn't brave but a severly disturbed frame of mind?

Now suicide through a dibilitating illness is different and sometimes could be _iewed as brave I suppose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when people feel that there is no other way.....

that their life aint worth living....

they have no one to talk to......

and think no one will listen.......

they then think about ending their life.......

personally i think it must take a lot of courage to carry out the action of commiting suicide

a suicidal person can sometimes only see nothing but negative reasons for staying alive and it only adds to their problems by NOT killing themselves

getting back to the OP......is Fern Britton really the best qualified person to be allowed to air her opinion on such a sensitive matter on national TV

I can't STAND fern Britton but yes .....she is allowed an opinion just like anyone else. She didn't put it forward as an official opinion or a researched fact... just her own informed opinion.

Get her off the screens schmarmy cow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when people feel that there is no other way.....

that their life aint worth living....

they have no one to talk to......

and think no one will listen.......

they then think about ending their life.......

personally i think it must take a lot of courage to carry out the action of commiting suicide

a suicidal person can sometimes only see nothing but negative reasons for staying alive and it only adds to their problems by NOT killing themselves

getting back to the OP......is Fern Britton really the best qualified person to be allowed to air her opinion on such a sensitive matter on national TV

I can't STAND fern Britton but yes .....she is allowed an opinion just like anyone else. She didn't put it forward as an official opinion or a researched fact... just her own informed opinion.

Get her off the screens schmarmy cow."

Thankfully i can honestly say that i have never seen her TV programme.........so she is off my screen.....permanently

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just hope people will not see it as brave....... because she said that some people look up to people like fern. I think its a mixed message she send out to the public saying that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having tried it a few times in my twenties i now personallt think it is the most selfish act you can commit

And my aunt and her son did it within 10 months of eachother leaving behind a devasted family xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having tried it a few times in my twenties i now personallt think it is the most selfish act you can commit

And my aunt and her son did it within 10 months of eachother leaving behind a devasted family xx"
ooo thank god you never did ....... we love you here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having tried it a few times in my twenties i now personallt think it is the most selfish act you can commit

And my aunt and her son did it within 10 months of eachother leaving behind a devasted family xxooo thank god you never did ....... we love you here x"

Thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way some suicides are discovered leave horrendous scars on the discoverers..I still relive an encounter..my feelings of anger have been replaced with sadness now but the images are in my memory ...it was the ultimate selfish act ....his young family weren`t thought of at all ..they had an owerwhelming feeling of being abandoned and unloved ...very sad..

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