FabSwingers.com forum: Can a person change?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can a cheater then become loyal and faithful?

Can a rapist truly regret their actions and never do it again? Same with a paedophile?

How about a murderer?

Opinions pleaseeeeeeeee

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

No......

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

yes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No......"

i agree nope they cant

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can a cheater then become loyal and faithful?

Can a rapist truly regret their actions and never do it again? Same with a paedophile?

How about a murderer?

Opinions pleaseeeeeeeee"

they regret getting caught.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

yes they can.

people can change you know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I believe a person can change..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The categories are all quite different ....

I believe a cheater can change, with regards to the others id be sceptical x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people can change......has no one on here changed over the years???

i for one certainly have

just as behaviour can be learned i believe that it can also be unlearned

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"people can change......has no one on here changed over the years???

i for one certainly have

just as behaviour can be learned i believe that it can also be unlearned"

i think that sums up my thinking exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The categories are all quite different ....

I believe a cheater can change, with regards to the others id be sceptical x"

I agree with this point of _iew,

as for a murderer there are different types !!! like crimes of passion,etc so yes think they can change there.

However where Peadophiles are concerened then no I don't think they can change

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"people can change......has no one on here changed over the years???

i for one certainly have

just as behaviour can be learned i believe that it can also be unlearned"

Of course people 'can' change, I'm a completely different person now than I was 20 years ago.

I think it's more likely that the ones mentioned above could but won't change though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a complete wanker ...but I am better now !

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Completely different things.

A cheater can change there ways yes,

A murderer, yes or every murderer would become a serial killer. There are also different reasons for murder.

A peadophile no, once a peodophile always a peodophile, they may not recomitt an offense but a peodophile is someone who is sexually attracted to prebubescent children. So the attraction will always be there

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"The categories are all quite different ....

I believe a cheater can change, with regards to the others id be sceptical x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No… their circumstances may change but they’re still the same person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Completely different things.

A cheater can change there ways yes,

A murderer, yes or every murderer would become a serial killer. There are also different reasons for murder.

Agree.

I think sometimes people want them to change or believe they can make them change. They can't of course, if I had a pound for every time a friend said he/she is misunderstood and not as bad as people make out etc, I'd be minted!

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By *hristopher WalksMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Saying people can’t change is the same as saying people can’t learn. Saying “people don’t change” is harmful because it denies the possibility of redemption. To say those mistakes are irredeemable is hypocritical. If the world considered only your most depraved moments, how would you be judged?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Saying people can’t change is the same as saying people can’t learn. Saying “people don’t change” is harmful because it denies the possibility of redemption. To say those mistakes are irredeemable is hypocritical. If the world considered only your most depraved moments, how would you be judged?"

Some one can cheat in a moment, someone can murder in a moment but is someone a peodophile in a moment??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can a cheater then become loyal and faithful?

Can a rapist truly regret their actions and never do it again? Same with a paedophile?

How about a murderer?

Opinions pleaseeeeeeeee"

I'd hazard a guess that most cheaters, rapists and paedophiles don't get caught so I can't imagine there'll be useful stats about whether the incident/ crime was a one off.

CAN they change? Probably.

DO they change? I doubt it.

Most murderers get caught and, as been said above, only ever do it once.

Many murders are an extreme version of the post (yesterday?) about throwing glasses of water over someone when they did something the writer reacted badly to.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

My mate Mick the firemen has saved many lives, put out hundreds of fires and saved probably millions of pounds worth of property.

He has only sucked one cock! Yet everyone calls him Mick the cock sucker.

I guess no matter what he does Mick will always be Mick the cock sucker.

You are a funny lot you humans.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"My mate Mick the firemen has saved many lives, put out hundreds of fires and saved probably millions of pounds worth of property.

He has only sucked one cock! Yet everyone calls him Mick the cock sucker.

I guess no matter what he does Mick will always be Mick the cock sucker.

You are a funny lot you humans."

And you'll always be the pocket fluffer!

True what you say though... we are a funny lot!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I believe people can and do change, sometimes it just happens and other times it is a deliberate act of taking a new direction. From that stance a human being can choose to be anything from a sinner to a saint. A paedophile who has committed an offence will by definition remain a paedophile but, subject to a number of variables including understanding of the original reason why they became an offender, may or may not re-offend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most people can change, yes.

I think the exception might be the pedophile, based on the observations of Diamonds, they can't change their attraction. They can and do know that it is wrong though and in some cases face up to it and take action to avoid putting themselves into situations where they become vulnerable to it.

Its all about having the will to change, generally, I think- if people really want it, it can be done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course people can change and do.

A cheater - yes of course they can, if they want to.

A murderer - yes of course. There are many degrees of murder. Thankfully the likes of Fred West or Peter Sutcliffe are rarer cases. Some serial killers cannot change as they are mentally ill and do not have the ability to change the thought process unless receiving medication and they will always be a risk.

Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to children. Necrophilia is the sexual attraction to corpses, heterophilia is the attraction between male and female - can you change??

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

spot on icon with paedophiles and rapists.

Spot on with murderers.

Cheaters never change, they get away with it and do it again and again. Its a need, a buzz or an ego trip but they keep chasing. Unlike the murphys..........

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Would you ever trust a dog that bit you? While they might seem reformed there would always be that mistrusting doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think rapists can change, theres the pathological hater of women type, who want to degrade and abuse and get an intense thrill, and theres those that after too much to drink on a Saturday night, walk a girl home, go in for coffee, she says no, they just carry on, whilst thats very wrong, after being punished, I think some would change.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Yes,i believe in humanity,forgiveness and the ability to change are vital.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think rapists can change, theres the pathological hater of women type, who want to degrade and abuse and get an intense thrill, and theres those that after too much to drink on a Saturday night, walk a girl home, go in for coffee, she says no, they just carry on, whilst thats very wrong, after being punished, I think some would change. "

Those are the very ones who don't get punished, at least in Scotland, because of the requirement for corroboration in Scots Law.

I believe (from memory) about 4% of rapes in Scotland are prosecuted to conviction and they tend to be of the complete stranger variety. No known previous contact between culprit and victim, plenty of DNA evidence that penetration took place and sufficient bruising to indicate the intercourse was non-consensual - but no witnesses other than the victim

4% is a shamingly low conviction rate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly believe that it's possible for somebody to experience an epiphany that causes them to change the way they live their life but I think it's more common that they don't.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Dont think all those things can be put in same category.... some can, some cant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it matter......once would be enough for any of them....!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those are the very ones who don't get punished, at least in Scotland, because of the requirement for corroboration in Scots Law.

4% is a shamingly low conviction rate

Yes there is a low conviction rate, but then its a very difficult crime to bring to justice. If its reported that is, its a big decision to have certain personal aspects of your life raked through, as well as the intimate testing etc that is required. And because of the number of non rapes that are reported, ie; girls going too far and regretting it the next morning or their partners finding out about an indiscretion, makes the whole system so much harder to prosecute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you can generalise as much as that when rehabilitation has proven that some offenders don't reoffend.

Whether they still have the same urges as before but have learned to control them is another matter but to answer the OP: yes, people can change, even the worst ones.

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

i would say no that as they say "a leopard never changes its spots" when i left my now ex he wanted me back but i wasnt going to take the chance as i know he would never change for the better, so now am happily divorced and am happy not being treated the way he treated me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can a cheater then become loyal and faithful?

Can a rapist truly regret their actions and never do it again? Same with a paedophile?

How about a murderer?

Opinions pleaseeeeeeeee"

Depends why they did it.. I think with the paedophiles that no..

Murder.. there can be reasons.. ( what about a battered wife that snaps, and plans it all out.. its not manslaughter because she planned it.. but she would not do it to anyone else)

Cheaters.. Yes I think they can... depending on the reasons they did it in the first place.. if it was simply wrong person.. then yes.. when right person comes along cheating isnt possible to them..

Rapists.. Hmmm depends again .. you read all the time about women that decided it was AFTER the event.. some of these poor guys still get charged..

So yes.. Most people can..but some, its just how they are...

katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And of course not all paedophiles offend.

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

"Completely different things.

A cheater can change there ways yes,

A murderer, yes or every murderer would become a serial killer. There are also different reasons for murder.

totally agree

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Some can, but not all will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I certainly believe that it's possible for somebody to experience an epiphany that causes them to change the way they live their life but I think it's more common that they don't."

I like the message and Chrisopher Walks post that mentioned redemption ...people can experience radical change in themselves...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, I always love the end of A Tale of Two Cities where the previously dissolute Sydney Carton goes to the guillotine for the love of a woman. It's incredibly sentimental but as ever with Dickens has a moral integrity to it.

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nah i dont think so.. deep down its still inside them and as soon as they think they can get away with it (cheaters), find a child attractive enough(peados), get angry enough with someone (murderers), etc.. so they are ticking time bombs

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Murderers don't murder everyone they meet.

Rapists don't rape everyone they meet.

Abusers don't abuse everyone they meet.

There is the age old and much repeated quote from the neighbours of some of the most evil minded people in history... "he/she seemed like such a nice person, you just wouldn't image it of them"

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Personal experiences have been taken off.

The thread was allowed to stay on as it was a general question, please don't post your own experiences as they will be deleted and the thread stopped.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

fair do's

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Ted Bundy.... attractive, smart, somewhat shy in his earlier years, educated and on a successful career journey in politics. After working on the re-election campaign of Washington's Republican Governor, he was appointed to the Seattle Crime Prevention Advisory Committee (now that is irony). His girlfriend loved him deeply, his ex wanted him back... women found him charming.

He was also one of the most prolific serial killers in U.S. history.

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