FabSwingers.com forum: Adopted

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, if it's ok to ask is anyone out there adopted and if so have you tried to trace your birth mother. I know some don't like to share this so pm us if you like. The reason I , Jez, is I'm adopted and have been contacted out of the blue by someone who is claiming to be my birth mothers younger sister. All the info she has provided has checked out. Not really sure at the point how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your enmotions will be all over the place,and it must be very hard for you,do what your heart and gut feeling tells you ,whatever you decide i wish you luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a 21 year old adopted nephew who says he will never make contact with his birth mother. She also said she won't want contact with him. My hubby has just been reunited with his daughter after 40 years apart for reasons that was out of his hands. She was in the same predicament as you. Didn't know what to do but they are now enjoying life as father n daughter. I know your situation is different but maybe you will want to hear why you was given up...good luck in whatever u decide xx

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By *albec26Man
over a year ago

Great Yarmouth

Oh be careful hun! I am adopted left outside a council office in Yarmouth

I have never wanted to find my birth parents and have stuck to that decision. But a close friend of mine did find his and left him emotionally scarred from the rejection. If you're happy in your life why change it xx let us know how it goes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for your input. Both of my brothers daughters are also adopted as is wife could never have children so I think my outcome may also help them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, if it's ok to ask is anyone out there adopted and if so have you tried to trace your birth mother. I know some don't like to share this so pm us if you like. The reason I , Jez, is I'm adopted and have been contacted out of the blue by someone who is claiming to be my birth mothers younger sister. All the info she has provided has checked out. Not really sure at the point how I feel."

Tried too message but blocked due too age haha

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By *albec26Man
over a year ago

Great Yarmouth

"Thanks everyone for your input. Both of my brothers daughters are also adopted as is wife could never have children so I think my outcome may also help them."

To be fair that's one issue that bugs me. I now have children and wish I knew of any medical conditions in my birth family that I should be aware off. Its a little embarrassing when at hospital and they ask the question of any medical conditions and have to say I don't know as I'm adopted. If anyone knows how I can find that out without contacting my birth parents please let me know x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was adopted as a baby. My birth mother was 16 at the time and got pregnant by a sailor who disappeared once she told him. My mum told me everything I needed in order to find my birth mother. It took a while but I did meet her. There was dome connection but I never called her mum. I saved that for the lady who raised me. I sort of met my birth father. With the information I had I knew what ship he served on and looked online. I found out their was a reunion happening in Plymouth in a hotel so booked a room. When they were having their reunion I went into the bar and just waited. Eventually I heard somebody being called by a nickname I knew he had while he served. I never spoke to him though. He was brash , loud and so full of himself that I realised we had nothing in common immediately. I never bothered after that. The two people that cared , loved and raised me were my mum and dad. I had a wonderful childhood and will always be grateful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was adopted as a baby. My birth mother was 16 at the time and got pregnant by a sailor who disappeared once she told him. My mum told me everything I needed in order to find my birth mother. It took a while but I did meet her. There was dome connection but I never called her mum. I saved that for the lady who raised me. I sort of met my birth father. With the information I had I knew what ship he served on and looked online. I found out their was a reunion happening in Plymouth in a hotel so booked a room. When they were having their reunion I went into the bar and just waited. Eventually I heard somebody being called by a nickname I knew he had while he served. I never spoke to him though. He was brash , loud and so full of himself that I realised we had nothing in common immediately. I never bothered after that. The two people that cared , loved and raised me were my mum and dad. I had a wonderful childhood and will always be grateful."

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Not quite the same, but may have some relevance, so will share. My birth father left my Mum when I was 18 months old or less (too young to remember him anyway) - was bought up by my Mum and will be eternally grateful to her for that. People often ask me if I'd be interested in tracking down my birth father, and the answer is always the same, that I have no interest whatsoever in doing so.

The way I look at it, he had 17 years, after he left, during which I was a child and at no time did he ever make any attempt to have anything to do with me, nor did he offer my Mum support, financially or otherwise, so why would I be interested in finding him?

That said, of course there's a part of me that's curious about what he is/was like BUT the other things far outweigh that curiousity.

Either way OP good luck with whatever you decide to do, know it's not an easy decision.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/16 22:25:44]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I thought I would post an update. We were fortunate enough to meet my birth mother and we are so glad we did. More me,Jez,it answered so many questions. I came to understand the reasons etc. It even allowed me to find out where my quirky sense of humour came from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad it all worked out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I thought I would post an update. We were fortunate enough to meet my birth mother and we are so glad we did. More me,Jez,it answered so many questions. I came to understand the reasons etc. It even allowed me to find out where my quirky sense of humour came from. "

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

That's so lovely to hear. I met my sister who was adopted at birth a couple of years ago, it's a wonderful feeling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad to hear your update - and delighted that it went well for you.

For anyone else looking at this issue - The Salvation Army have a tracing service for family members - and they are somewhat experts in re-uniting lost folks. Worth contacting them to get any search underway .. .. ..

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Was adopted when I was little, no family ever tried to contact or intervene when I was in care. My birth mother can sod right off, if she ever turned up, as I would likely end up serving time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So. I Jez am finally meeting my half brothers in August. My adoptive mum met my birth mum about a month ago for the 2nd time in 51 years. My only regret is my adoptive dad passed away last October so wasn't around to be part of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nervous for you

Take it slow and you'll be grand

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I wish you every joy with your new found family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was adopted. I lovely couple adopted me when I was still a baby. I always knew and they were very open. My birth mother was only 15 when I was born but I had know idea who my birth father was. It wasn't until my dad died a few years ago that I started to think about who they were. I traced my birth mother quickly and decided that I would contact her. So I did , through a letter , then a few calls then finally meeting. She was nice but in truth there was no great connection. She did tell me the fathers name who before I was born joined the navy and never saw her again. I traced him through a navy site and found out he was going to a reunion in Portsmouth was waited until that happened. So I went into the pub were all the old sailors were drinking and soon heard someone call his name. He looked and sounded so arrogant that I didn't speak to him. Never have.

My parents are the two people who cared and loved Me. My mum is my mum. She dried my eyes as a child. She dressed my cuts and bruises. They are my true mum and dad. Always will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good attitude. Everyone has their own experience of family. Have to be happy being yourself.

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