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Genuine help needed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok

I need some assistance

I told my kids I'll take them abroad next year

All happy. Life is good.

One of the passports has expired so I said. Mom (the ex) can pay for that by way of a tiny contribution.

It all kicks off.

She refuses. Kids on her side. Looks like we ain't going.

Am I in the wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blackpool it is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am I in the wrong? "

Yes.

Why should she have to suddenly cough up money out of her budget to 'contribute' to your planned activity?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well personally time with your kids is precious so if i found myself in that situation id of paid for a passport.its not as if they are hundreds of pounds or anything is it.surely tho however much they cost time with your kids is priceless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing that's upsetting is when kids get stuck in the middle, I speak from personal experience. Compromise might be a thought, for the sake of the cost of child passport renewal £46, it seems a shame to upset people and cancel a holiday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok

I need some assistance

I told my kids I'll take them abroad next year

All happy. Life is good.

One of the passports has expired so I said. Mom (the ex) can pay for that by way of a tiny contribution.

It all kicks off.

She refuses. Kids on her side. Looks like we ain't going.

Am I in the wrong? "

Why is she kicking off? And if your holiday was so tightly budgeted that an extra £70/80 derailed it then I would say you shouldn't be going anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And the 'looks like we aint going' is disgusting. You're going to disappoint your kids to fire a salvo off at their mother. What an absolute disgrace. That's not being a father, or a man. You asked for opinions, you got mine. Take the kids on the holiday, pay for it yourself.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Did you discuss the proposed trip with your ex first?

Now you have told your children, maybe your ex feels that she is being emotionaly blackmailed. If she doesn't pay for the passports, she is the 'bad guy' by effectively blocking the hloiday...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And the 'looks like we aint going' is disgusting. You're going to disappoint your kids to fire a salvo off at their mother. What an absolute disgrace. That's not being a father, or a man. You asked for opinions, you got mine. Take the kids on the holiday, pay for it yourself."

Advise. Not a personal attack please

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

You should have coughed up the renewal yourself

That's the short term problem now you have to consider who the passport holder is - is it you or the ex, is there a court judgement (if any) on who looks after it and does it have to be agreed on if you want to take children abroad. Can either parent refuse to give permission?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The passport cost is tiny compared to the holidays, so it's seeming dumb to block the trip over a small element.

Your decisions now mean that you take full ownership of the implications.

Don't promise stuff to kids if you may not carry through, eg by making someone else own the power to veto it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And the 'looks like we aint going' is disgusting. You're going to disappoint your kids to fire a salvo off at their mother. What an absolute disgrace. That's not being a father, or a man. You asked for opinions, you got mine. Take the kids on the holiday, pay for it yourself.

Advise. Not a personal attack please "

That isn't a personal attack. It's what my opinion is about you using the kids as a weapon against their mother.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone (not Tony)

Post office here I come

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And the 'looks like we aint going' is disgusting. You're going to disappoint your kids to fire a salvo off at their mother. What an absolute disgrace. That's not being a father, or a man. You asked for opinions, you got mine. Take the kids on the holiday, pay for it yourself.

Advise. Not a personal attack please

That isn't a personal attack. It's what my opinion is about you using the kids as a weapon against their mother. "

Quite the opposite

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just told them we are going

Happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would talk to your ex say you sorry for asking her to pay say you will pay for it. You never know at that point she may say I'll go half way with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And the 'looks like we aint going' is disgusting. You're going to disappoint your kids to fire a salvo off at their mother. What an absolute disgrace. That's not being a father, or a man. You asked for opinions, you got mine. Take the kids on the holiday, pay for it yourself.

Advise. Not a personal attack please

That isn't a personal attack. It's what my opinion is about you using the kids as a weapon against their mother. "

That seems a bit like a leap there, maybe you're projecting a little?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'd just renew it. after all they are your kids as well. i was thinking she may not of given the passports over not due to the cost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I learned this recently.

Being right isn't going to get you what you want though is it?

You can be right until you are blue in the face, or you can swallow your pride and get on with it- make the kids happy and keep your ex sweet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing that's upsetting is when kids get stuck in the middle, I speak from personal experience. Compromise might be a thought, for the sake of the cost of child passport renewal £46, it seems a shame to upset people and cancel a holiday. "

Precisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1) it is a slap in the face for her...she is not going

2) maybe she can't afford it

3) you should keep all discussions 're money with your wife...private from your children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I learned this recently.

Being right isn't going to get you what you want though is it?

You can be right until you are blue in the face, or you can swallow your pride and get on with it- make the kids happy and keep your ex sweet?"

Very true, suck it up and do what's best for your kids, ultimately it's them that you want the positive relationship with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She could have said no to you even taking them abroad x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She could have said no to you even taking them abroad x"

That's true

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

For the sake of quality time with your kids is it really that much of a deal breaker?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For the sake of quality time with your kids is it really that much of a deal breaker? "

It's all sorted thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need your ex on your side if she is the primary carer as she has to sign the passport application off and the passport will be posted to her.

Sarah

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