FabSwingers.com forum: EU don't leave or else

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Wot on earth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just when you thought the last Cockwomble had gone home for the day......

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By *anchestercubMan
over a year ago

manchester & NI

Nigel?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I can see that this is meant to be a humorous tongue in cheek post even if everyone else can't OP

Once again it's 'slate a (not one of the Forum elite) single guy' time on the forums .. Hashtag #GroundHogDay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

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By *llywalesWoman
over a year ago

"Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

I found it amusing ....

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thumbs up to those who appreciate the humour.

Thumbs down to the others who rip into anyone not in their clique.

Freedom of speech eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it was good. Its called making light of the situation. I started a Farage mass debate earlier and it all got far too heavy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

I've heard that if we stay in Europe, dogs will be banned - except for poodles. (Labradoodles will need a special license from Brussels)

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

If we stay in the following will happen:

Kent will sink beneath the channel under the weight of dark skinned people

All hospitals will explode

Houses will cease to be built and existing houses must have one Syrian per capita

Nigel Farage will don a swastika and jackboots

All bananas will be useable as rulers

French will become compulsory in all chip shops

The saveloy will be classed as a cuisine of mass destruction

Deckchairs will all be owned by Deutsche Bahn Railways and only for use by Germans

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Je sauságe battuered un chipé.

A peas mushiê

My French is very very poor.

I agree with the other items but speaking French in a chip shop... Never!

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Je sauságe battuered un chipé.

A peas mushiê

My French is very very poor.

I agree with the other items but speaking French in a chip shop... Never!

500 million Turkish Immigrants will demand it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

About as many accurate statements as I've seen in any other story to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we stay Brussels sprouts will have to be eaten in every meal.

If we leave they will be called sprouts! Reason enough to leave if you ask me.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

The humour has to go both ways. There just humorous jibes back. Don't take it to heart.

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

I'm not sure about this. Maybe if we stay, we may become orange coloured but if we leave, we will all sprout a third orifice.

So either we could be tangoed or fucked............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

The humour has to go both ways. There just humorous jibes back. Don't take it to heart."

The jibes weren't humorous at first, luckily the thread soon got back on track

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OMG...

Reason to leave!!!

NO MORE EUROVISION SONG CONTESTS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG...

Reason to leave!!!

NO MORE EUROVISION SONG CONTESTS

We could go enter the Australasian Somg contest - well they go gatecrashing ours ..

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"OMG...

Reason to leave!!!

NO MORE EUROVISION SONG CONTESTS

Sadly many or maybe even most of the competing countries are not in the EU. It is not a condition of membership.

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

Eggs sold in 7's, well if that means we'll get 14 eggs in a dozen then I'm all for remaining

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 17:54:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finally someone has made it clear lol funny post

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

You forgot the earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, plague, pestilence, floods, asteroid and comet strikes, WW3 (of course) and Martian invasion (oh sorry is that racist to Martians?)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But does that mean we just have to check more eggs for cracks, or decide if potentially more than just one with the feather attached is o.k?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"But does that mean we just have to check more eggs for cracks, or decide if potentially more than just one with the feather attached is o.k?"

I prefer to check cracks for eggs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha this sums up the referendum for me perfectly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think Trump is looking after WW3.

Europe hasn't got the rights to start world wars anymore.

Brussels banned it.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I think Trump is looking after WW3.

Europe hasn't got the rights to start world wars anymore.

Brussels banned it."

Bloody good reason to remain I would say.

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By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

If we leave, does that mean Britain's Got Talent will only have contestants from Britain only? I don't watch it often, but can't understand why there are people from other countries taking part.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks."

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc...

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"If we leave, does that mean Britain's Got Talent will only have contestants from Britain only? I don't watch it often, but can't understand why there are people from other countries taking part. "

Because we are not isolationist knobs.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc..."

It was a joke .....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All the North sea fish will be European on weekdays but British at weekends.

Passports will change again, we'll be able to apply for new ones at a higher fee!

THERE WILL NOT BE A KING TONY BLAIR OF EUROPE... oh no.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc...

It was a joke ....."

So was mine,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thumbs up to those who appreciate the humour.

Thumbs down to the others who rip into anyone not in their clique.

Freedom of speech eh?"

i also found your post amusing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But does that mean we just have to check more eggs for cracks, or decide if potentially more than just one with the feather attached is o.k?"

anygivendave HELP

I have already voted by postal, what can I do, how can I reverse it

oh no, no no, what have I done

dave help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus Christ...

It's called humour.

In reply to scaremongering by mp's.

I got it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can tell who the remainers are on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You can always just bury your head in the sand and hope the votes go the way you want.

Witchcraft is another option...

Do you have a cat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we leave, does that mean Britain's Got Talent will only have contestants from Britain only? I don't watch it often, but can't understand why there are people from other countries taking part. "

I think it should be called Opportunity Knocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can always just bury your head in the sand and hope the votes go the way you want.

Witchcraft is another option...

Do you have a cat?"

dave I don't have a cat and this is serious, how can I stop my leave vote, I have 2 scary dogs and some tins of soup in cupboard

dave help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gsoh....a prerequisite in forumland

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By *raceytvcdTV/TS
over a year ago

mansfield

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc...

It was a joke ....."
yes but there would be enough eggs to go round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If leave win I'm going to miss my foreign friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If leave win I'm going to miss my foreign friends

The is always skype

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG...

Reason to leave!!!

NO MORE EUROVISION SONG CONTESTS

I've made my mind up based on that alone..I'm staying!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 19:25:46]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those who have voted by post and want to change their vote...

Form an activist group with a catchy title or acronym.

People U Should've Said Stay.

Or P.U.S.S.Y for short.

Demand a new vote as your fear of straight bananas biased your choice. Dress up as a superhero and hang banners in public places.

Or don't... You might get arrested and imprisoned.

But... You could get that sentence overturned by the European court (if we stay).

Or go on Jeremy Kyle because you had an affair with your moms boyfriends cousins auntie for drug money and the lie detector said no.

Either way...

Too late...

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By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

"You can always just bury your head in the sand and hope the votes go the way you want.

Witchcraft is another option...

Do you have a cat?"

There's probably an app for witches who don't own a cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found it funny.must be remain voters who aint got the brains to work it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything but Gary. Everyone knows that's a snails name.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.

Cheese will be illegal.

It will rain more.

The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.

Sex will be taxable.

There will be no more purple.

Lottery will cost £5 a go.

Newspapers will not feature telly listings.

Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.

Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.

Eggs will be sold in 7's.

You forgot the earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, plague, pestilence, floods, asteroid and comet strikes, WW3 (of course) and Martian invasion (oh sorry is that racist to Martians?) "

I think you're understating it, that's just what happens when we vote leave, when actually do leave the sun is predicted to go super nova and the whole solar system set to collapse in on it's self. I really, really, really don't think you fully realise the full implications of a BREXIT vote.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc...

It was a joke ....."

I don't think so. I'm sure you meant it.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"If leave win I'm going to miss my foreign friends

The is always skype

No, if leave wins there cutting all the cables between the UK and Europe. We don't want any of that Euro Trash here, not even their shity Euro digital trash.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.

So:

Membership fee will halve.

Immigration will halve.

We do EU free trade on even days.

We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.

It's a win-win.

I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.

Trade with Europe will also halve

Tariffs for exporting will double

Our rebate will halve

Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve

Farming subsidies will halve

The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve

Etc...

It was a joke .....

I don't think so. I'm sure you meant it."

I do t even know what to believe anymore. I mean... I used to know what I was thinking but now I don't even know that!!!

Can that nice man Nigel come and tell me what to think?

Once he has finished sewing yellow stars onto the coats of immigrants, obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought it was good. Its called making light of the situation. I started a Farage mass debate earlier and it all got far too heavy."

Always thought Farage was a bit of a mass debater.....see what I did there?

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