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The Key To Success

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys. I feel like the plague using this site. What is the key to success as a single male? Any help gratefully accepted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Be honest, be yourself, be empathetic, be patient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys. I feel like the plague using this site. What is the key to success as a single male? Any help gratefully accepted "

Can you explain in what ways (you feel) others are ruining it for you ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There seems to be a lot of time wasters. You know the score, say they'll turn up then don't, get shitty when rejected etc etc.

I know my profile isn't the greatest but I am finding it near impossible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of time wasters. You know the score, say they'll turn up then don't, get shitty when rejected etc etc.

I know my profile isn't the greatest but I am finding it near impossible "

How do the time wasters ruin your chances?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of time wasters. You know the score, say they'll turn up then don't, get shitty when rejected etc etc.

I know my profile isn't the greatest but I am finding it near impossible "

But that isn't your problem

As I see it, the only thing that might hold a guy back is the sheer numbers of us on the site.

Their actions may affect the opinions of some but only a small %.

We are adults here and most will recognise the actions of one won't reflect on the attitude of others.

That is not something I can control.

All I can do is make sure that I approach the site properly.

Contact those that I feel are looking for the same things as me.

Get to know those that I feel have a common outlook.

Get to know those that respect my position as much as I respect theirs.

Meet people for coffee.

Turn up on time.

Turn up prepared to either go home having enjoyed an afternoon of chat with a _iew to hopefully meeting again.

Meet people for sex.

Turn up prepared for fun and respect the boundaries of those I meet.

I really can't do any more.

All I can control are my efforts and inputs to the site.

So why worry about the actions of others ?

It won't change the status quo for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's a very fair point or two. Taken on board and duly noted. if at first you don't succeed I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a very fair point or two. Taken on board and duly noted. if at first you don't succeed I guess."

Indeed....and if as you say your profile "isn't the greatest" then do something about that too. It isn't the magic key....but it may help!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys. I feel like the plague using this site. What is the key to success as a single male? Any help gratefully accepted "

Lazy cop out!

No one is ruining for you!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys. I feel like the plague using this site. What is the key to success as a single male? Any help gratefully accepted "

You've had 3 meets in a year.

Many here would consider you to be very successful, which suggests no one is ruining it for you.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"There seems to be a lot of time wasters. You know the score, say they'll turn up then don't, get shitty when rejected etc etc.

I know my profile isn't the greatest but I am finding it near impossible "

Your not being able to travel or accommodate doesn't help your cause either, does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The percentage of clueless, rude men is at an all time high on all sites. It's fucking depressing.

However it makes the decent guys stand out more than ever.

(Most) women aren't stupid!!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"There seems to be a lot of time wasters. You know the score, say they'll turn up then don't, get shitty when rejected etc etc.

I know my profile isn't the greatest but I am finding it near impossible "

Dont blame others for your lack of success. Improve the things you know need improving.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for all your "SENSIBLE" advice people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys "

I disagree that a small minority are running it for genuine guys. Look at it the other way - the 'bad' guys actually make the 'good' guys stand out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you keep doing the same things you'll get the same results. Be bolder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been pointed out a few times, the only person who controls your success on here is you, it's how you come across that matters, how you interact and how you are perceived, the only person who controls that is you. Find what works for you, I realised that I was getting no response from my original approach and so I changed how I went about things. It's very liberating when you drop the 'woe is me, all us single guys get a raw deal' shtick

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

don't elevate yourself by dragging others down

stand up for yourself

be considerate but not a walk over

state what you are looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to think this when I first joined, you soon realise being negative gets you nowhere, have a more positive approach and outlook on the site and I'm sure you'll gain interest, works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say being creative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances "

Sadly i think they do. I am beginning to think 80% of the men are keyboard wankers or time wasters who never turn up. I want to be proved wrong but this is the way it is now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances

Sadly i think they do. I am beginning to think 80% of the men are keyboard wankers or time wasters who never turn up. I want to be proved wrong but this is the way it is now. "

Yet 95% of your meets are single men, showing that you are finding some men interesting enough to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances

Sadly i think they do. I am beginning to think 80% of the men are keyboard wankers or time wasters who never turn up. I want to be proved wrong but this is the way it is now.

Yet 95% of your meets are single men, showing that you are finding some men interesting enough to meet."

True but how many did i have to chat with to get those guys to appear??? I think messaging to turn up is about 5 to 1.

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By *ugbystudsouthMan
over a year ago

milton keynes


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances "

Agree in a sense, on the other hand people are just not Intrested in some types of men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finding this quite hard work now.It seems that a small minority are ruining it for us genuine guys. I feel like the plague using this site. What is the key to success as a single male? Any help gratefully accepted "

Self Respect

Dignity

Hold on to them

And you will be just fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one ruins it for anyone else. Only you can ruin your own chances

Sadly i think they do. I am beginning to think 80% of the men are keyboard wankers or time wasters who never turn up. I want to be proved wrong but this is the way it is now.

Yet 95% of your meets are single men, showing that you are finding some men interesting enough to meet.

True but how many did i have to chat with to get those guys to appear??? I think messaging to turn up is about 5 to 1. "

I don't think that's bad tbh

How many guys would you speak to in a pub to find a decent one ?

For every one we meet in 'real life' (of both sexes), there are a good few that go by the way side ...

We can't expect everyone we chat to on here to be to our taste - and, for some, it can take a good few messages for the personality to find its way out

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