FabSwingers.com forum: In the opinion of others...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whenever this topic comes up on threads there is a general cry that people 'don't care what others think'. However on another thread today people are talking about their body confidence issues whilst on several others people are trawling for fabs.

I'm interested to know just how important to you personally other people's opinions of how you look are, do you take more succour from the words of a stranger or a loved one? Do you honestly not care or do you feel that your self esteem is tied to how others see you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok (deep breath) for me from a males opinion I have great body confidence. ive no worries what so ever about stripping off infront of men n i love the attention I get off men both on and off here.

But here's the deep breath bit. I get jel of other women n thier pics n i envy the ones who are on hot pics all the time. I also have never bar a fumble as a teen never been with a woman. It's on my bucketlist but I'm a lot less confident with women then men and id never aproach one.

xxx

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By *inkyKellyCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Coventry

I'd say everyone cares what others think, at least a little. Otherwise I wouldn't shave at all, and I'd eat tasty stuff all day and get huge, and I'd put off showering for ages.

I used to think I didn't care what others thought, years ago when I grew my hair long, but it was mostly to hide my face which I felt overly concious about. It's kind of complex, there's elements of denial and subconcious feelings about it all since instinctually, we all want to look good for the opposite (or our preferred) sex.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

I'm only interested in what Paul thinks about how I look as he's the only man I want to impress. However, he is a man that is not concerned about looks in any way so there is absolutely no pressure to look a certain way. For him, it's about who I am that's important and I take that with me

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Honestly it depends on the person and if I value their opinions and judgment. I know I have body confidence issues but to be told I look nice in something by 'friends' does make me feel a little more confident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not single facetted so I have confidence issues that I try not to think about to much, And I can be an attention whore in fab threads too!

Go figure!!

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

For years I had a real warped body image of myself. I met someone and for first time in 40 years I actually felt like a woman. They didn't do anything other than allow me to be me. There was no compliments other than seeing desire in their face. At that point I just didn't care what people felt about my body because I started to like it.

Compliments are hard to accept. Unless from a friend or family. I don't take much notice from here. Doesn't matter how many compliments you get unless you like your own body no ones opinion will make any difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hubby loves how I look even though I don't, I'm shy and reserved in the vanilla world i wont even wear revealing clothing. But something about swinging brings out my confidence in can't really explain it, it's almost like I get to be someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i actually dont give a monkeys doodar what other people think about me at all - looks or otherwise - if they dont like not a problem as were not going to meet up and play are we ? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really care what people think of my body these days.

As a 6ft 2 woman and as a tall child I've had comments directed at me my whole life. Some nice ones, but some not so nice too, and that made me

very self conscious.

From the age of 19 I've been overweight, something which my family have mentioned and made unwelcome comments on (probably meant well at the time, in a weird way) and it does get you down.

However, these things have never stopped me getting male attention, it's never held me back, and at 42 I've now come to terms with my body and it's flaws and quirks and I also appreciate what it's given me (2 gorgeous children).

Yes I could be perkier, prettier, more busty etc., and sometimes I look at other women and think they have nice boobs I wish mine were that perky, but wishing it doesn't make it happen, and I'm too lazy and set in my ways to Put in the hard work to achieve the body beautiful.

So now I just eat healthy, exercise moderately and just do me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really care what others think.

I listen to loved ones but if I don't like what they are saying a tend not to give a fuck which maybe wrong as I know they have my best interest at heart

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I grew up with the message that no one would ever love me if I became fat. I discovered that weight makes no difference to that. However, the message is there in the back of my mind so when someone finds fat me desirable that is gratifying.

When I was in therapy a couple of years ago one of the exercises I was given was to accept compliments. It was much harder to do than I ever thought it would be. When I expressed this to a friend she told me it's because I had always acted as though I was Teflon coated to repel any and all compliments. Now I accept them with thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/06/16 14:34:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/06/16 14:35:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've gained so much more confidence since I found a nice pair of socks which I thinkreally suit me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer the people who are fucking me to like my body,so their opinion would matter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ironically since I've lost weight, got fitter and feel happier about how I look I've started caring more how other people see me. I think previously I felt very negatively about myself and dismissed myself but now since I've started to feel sexier I'm looking more for validation and it's an aspect that I dislike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always been super confident as a person but never physically confident.

Even now when I am with someone I try to stay covered as much as possible.

I think the only time I felt awesome in my own skin is when I was pregnant.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Whenever this topic comes up on threads there is a general cry that people 'don't care what others think'. However on another thread today people are talking about their body confidence issues whilst on several others people are trawling for fabs.

When it comes to my body, only opinion I care about is mine. At the moment I'm not 100% loving it so actively doing something about it.

My self esteem was low only in the dying stages of my marriage. When I left it returned. I met my Jason Statham / Bruce Willis lookalike other half on here. In all honesty I did have a moment when I nearly cancelled the meet as I did think he'd think I was too huge, only time I've ever felt that.

Every day he does/says something to show how special I am to him and he does mention I don't do the same. It's not that I'm self absorbed or uncaring, "ego massaging" either way is not 'important' to me, if that makes sense.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ironically since I've lost weight, got fitter and feel happier about how I look I've started caring more how other people see me. I think previously I felt very negatively about myself and dismissed myself but now since I've started to feel sexier I'm looking more for validation and it's an aspect that I dislike. "

Enjoy your body and others will too.

I lost nearly two stones about seven years ago. I hated the fact that people would keep commenting on it and although I kept it off for over three years I think part of the reason I put the weight back on was to get back to wearing my invisibility cloak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my late 20's my self esteem was low as I was with someone who made me feel bad about myself physically and mentally. Mr G has always made me feel good about myself, his opinion matters to me. Through him though he's made me feel at ease with myself. If that makes sense.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive actually had a lot of knockbacks on here, apparently because im bald with specs. Funnily enough, its never been a problem for me in real life, but on fab it seems to be quite an issue. I cant change the way I look. So I just carry on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not single facetted so I have confidence issues that I try not to think about to much, And I can be an attention whore in fab threads too!

Go figure!!

I just fabbed your avatar

xxx

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

I'll try to keep a life story very short. I grew up with my mother telling me I was fat, she would threaten me with diets but I at most during all of those years I was a size 8.

I knew I wasn't fat and that I was underweight and battled with trying to put on weight for years. I hated looking like something from Pet Rescue, all ribs and skin.

I eventually managed to put on weight in my mid to late 20's and was so happy. My mum still called me fat. She even told me I looked like Dawn French on my wedding day.

Illness meant I put on more weight and my self esteem was low. My husband had no interest in my sexually and didn't for a few years, it was heart breaking. Then I was ill again and my weight plummeted by half. I hated it. I hated how I looked and had to wear children's clothes.

Now I'm back to somewhere close to how I feel happy. I can't change the stretch marks or the mummy tummy or the cellulite so I don't worry about them. Who goes looking for those things anyway!

I don't need others to like how I look and I'm not asking anyone too, I don't shy away from attention like I used too as a self conscious size 6.

On the flip side, I don't see imperfections in people in the physical sense, I see a whole person. You can have all the imperfection in the world but be the most beautiful person I've ever encountered and likewise you can be an ugly person with a body others would die for.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I seek no validation from anyone on the Internet on any subject.

I have zero tolerance for the needy. Well apart from true need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer the people who are fucking me to like my body,so their opinion would matter. "

spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im happy in my own skin....as long as i like myself then what others think isn't an issue.

If someone doesnt like the way i look or who i am then they can do one...im not for changing by anyone.x

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

It's not about what other people think, it's how I feel about myself.

It's horrible hating your body shape and feeling frumpy and unattractive.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I seek no validation from anyone on the Internet on any subject.

I have zero tolerance for the needy. Well apart from true need."

Funnily enough when writing the OP I thought of you _iew and your no nonsense and zero fucks mentality. Whilst I respect that I also think dismissing others flaws can be quite hard

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Whilst I respect that I also think dismissing others flaws can be quite hard "

I agree and I applaud people who do something constructive to fix their flaws.

But so few do, platitudes seems to give them their fix

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I care a bit but not enough to change myself to please other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our feelings of inadequacy stems from comparising ourselves to others, and this exactly and unfortunately what fab does.

I am pretty confident yet my confident can't be knocked out if I think the rejection is unjustified or purely based on body appearance. Yet it is my own issue that and I have to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoy your body and others will too.

I understand that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care a bit but not enough to change myself to please other people."

That sums me up I think.

I'm realistic. I do care but I also know everyone has their own likes. They might like me or they might not.

I don't like having public pics and I don't care what people think of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly couldn't care a hoot what people on here think of me. There are no threads asking for fabs, in fact noone can fab my pictures, or asking people to comment on my pics or clothes or looks. There are no threads of me asking others opinions about my profile, because there is no need, I do things my own way.

I am not perfect, my body and face are not perfect but I am confident that I look good. I'm happy with how I look, the clothes I wear, I'm big but if I was bothered I'd do something about it.

It is nice if my OH thinks I look good but I don't ask opinions on how to look because again if I like something I would wear it, even if he didn't like it.

I enjoy compliments from people close to me but I don't alter anything about myself in order to gain praise.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I care a bit but not enough to change myself to please other people."

I agree with this.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well nobody wants to be told they look awful do they?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm by far my own worst critic so my opinion matters more than others.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive never really cared what my body looked like, all my life i was ovedweight i just never thought about it. Never compared myself to other women i can appreciate it when some lady looks really lovely. My family and friends arnt the sort to compare either ive had no bitchy or nasty comments since ive lost weight.

But i know i look good in clothes, i get compliments all the time i dont seek them but love them when i get them

I reckon i.can carry off certain things.

If however, a close friend.said.i didnt look particulary good in something i would listen as its not.something they generally would say.

Naked im happy, jay is happy, long term friends.are happy, if i met someone new and they werent happy it doesnt matter a jot its took me years to feel this good.both physically and.mentally and im reaping the rewards

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't feel any more confident now I'm verging on the average bodywise than I did when I was properly fat; I didn't lack body confidence before I started to lose the weight, it has always just been the vessel that contains me. As a result I actively avoid guys who send first messages specifically about my body since I know for a fact it's far from gorgeous and can easily change from one month to the next. My own sense of visual attraction is entirely based on faces, and since I don't show mine publicly there will never be a forum comment that makes me feel more attractive than I did before. As to jealousy, yes there are some beautiful women on here who do show that in their photos and I sometimes wish I could be one of them. But it's only ever fleeting; I like me as I am.

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