FabSwingers.com forum: 24 hours with Satan

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A nice cheery topic I think : if you were sent to hell for a day as punishment for doing something very naughty but not *quite* worthy of damnatiom for all eternity, what would it look like for you?

Me? Locked in a room with non-stop bebop jazz playing while hundreds of big hairy spiders and snakes crawled all over me would be absolutely horrendous .. Followed by a short session having to just sit there and listen to a stranger eat noisily next to me.

What your own personal day in hell look like?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Sitting opposite knitter while she chats to someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell would be the devil and flames and all the things you.dont like

Spiders crawling all over you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be surrounded by kids? it would be constantly raining, and I'd always be cold, but not cold enough for a coat.

And there would be no ice cream.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sitting opposite knitter "

Fixed that for you ..

(*joking!!

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being shown videos of a child dragged to a watery death by an alligator whilst forumites stand by saying "its nature's way" with a self congratulatory sneer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having to watch soap operas constantly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whole day walking round a shopping centre stuck behind someone who walks slowly.

Or a meal with someone who chews with their mouth open and is constantly on their phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A padded room with Justin Bieber music playing through the speakers...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being made to walk over bridges all day long!! Especially ones with cars driving underneath!!!

G x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sat in a room with Kermit Farage and someone else whistling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hot,confined space and no toilet paper in the loo.

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Children's television programmes over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and never ending children's television

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hotel room with Lucifer in it, with a wicked smile on his face.

Wait, what naughty thing is it I have to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not entirely sure but I'm fairly certain every tooth in my mouth would have a throbbing abscess.

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By *lackXealMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Lol what if you are locked in with 72 virgins

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. MOORLANDS & BARMOUTH.

I'm looking forward to going to hell actually. I can't stand heights, therefore my hell would be going to heaven xxxxxx Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making me wear a Sunderland shirt and forcing me to watch all the Games they beat us in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldnt know....when i get there....lucifer will have his ass well and truly kicked off his perch..i do love a warm comfy seat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Currys warehouse on my own on black friday

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By *parkly MittensWoman
over a year ago

My own little world

A party full of people I don't know and no alcohol available calm my nerves...

I'm extremely shy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright, tea breaks over, back on your heads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Alright, tea breaks over, back on your heads."

Best joke ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No pooch , or countryside and negative people .

Then again I live in my own little bizarre happy world so I recon I could cope .

Plus I bet the music would be good

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Making me wear a Sunderland shirt and forcing me to watch all the Games they beat us in

And some pies which are tantalisingly just out of reach

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. MOORLANDS & BARMOUTH.

"Alright, tea breaks over, back on your heads.

Best joke ever

I don't get it

Xxxx Suzi

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

"No pooch , or countryside and negative people .

Then again I live in my own little bizarre happy world so I recon I could cope .

Plus I bet the music would be good

"
ile look after pooch for you as he will be missing his daddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No pooch , or countryside and negative people .

Then again I live in my own little bizarre happy world so I recon I could cope .

Plus I bet the music would be good

ile look after pooch for you as he will be missing his daddy "

He quite likes the idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sitting opposite knitter while she chats

Fixed that for you ..

(*joking!!

That's how I read it at first & thought that's a tad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Alright, tea breaks over, back on your heads.

Best joke ever

I don't get it

Xxxx Suzi"

Here you go Suzi

http://www.teacherjoe.us/Joke09.html

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"No pooch , or countryside and negative people .

Then again I live in my own little bizarre happy world so I recon I could cope .

Plus I bet the music would be good

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gYsrptJ6HU

Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be - AC/DC

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xephz0_ac-dc-hell-ain-t-a-bad-place-to-be_music

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No pooch , or countryside and negative people .

Then again I live in my own little bizarre happy world so I recon I could cope .

Plus I bet the music would be good

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gYsrptJ6HU

Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be - AC/DC

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xephz0_ac-dc-hell-ain-t-a-bad-place-to-be_music

Dont forget Hells Bells

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heaven for the decor. Hell for the company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Somewhere with no greenery or animals or anything to do

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'm sure it would be ok for a day, I tend to make make chums quickly and I'd like a word with the Devil to make sure he knows why my Nan is there

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Being made to watch football, can't think of a worse punishment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-husband would be there....Mr Boring!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi!

Like the way no fucker has asked me if I'm ok with this?

Have you any idea how much extra work that'll be?

The manpower needed?

Demons don't just appear from the Job Centre you know!

And the paperwork

Let's get a few things straight right now....

No one and I mean NO ONE is sitting in my chair.....

Your Gran says hi and tough shit about the will

Highway to Hell and Stairway to Heaven were just two of my creations to let you know the true volume of traffic.

The rest of the music is just as good

There's no wifi. Don't need it as we have wall to wall entertainment.

Turn left on entering and pick up a rule book from Knitter. She's finally managed not to cock up feeding time

Oh... And you... Yes YOU.... My office in 5

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oi!

Like the way no fucker has asked me if I'm ok with this?

Have you any idea how much extra work that'll be?

The manpower needed?

Demons don't just appear from the Job Centre you know!

And the paperwork

Let's get a few things straight right now....

No one and I mean NO ONE is sitting in my chair.....

Your Gran says hi and tough shit about the will

Highway to Hell and Stairway to Heaven were just two of my creations to let you know the true volume of traffic.

The rest of the music is just as good

There's no wifi. Don't need it as we have wall to wall entertainment.

Turn left on entering and pick up a rule book from Knitter. She's finally managed not to cock up feeding time

Oh... And you... Yes YOU.... My office in 5

Having thought more about it if I had another 24 hours down there I'd have to endure someone scraping their fingernails down blackboards, internet pages constantly refreshing with the 'circle of death', have to eat liver, kidney and tongue at mealtimes and have to sexually pleasure Len McCluskey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definately stuck listening to noisy eaters and girls who put that fake bimbo way of talking on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuck on a busy high street behind slow walking people and every time I try to pass them a buggy takes me out in the ankles, all whilst carrying shopping in bags that break constantly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sitting opposite knitter

Fixed that for you ..

FTFY Dan I always think if your going to do it, its best to commit to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi!

Like the way no fucker has asked me if I'm ok with this?

Have you any idea how much extra work that'll be?

The manpower needed?

Demons don't just appear from the Job Centre you know!

And the paperwork

Let's get a few things straight right now....

No one and I mean NO ONE is sitting in my chair.....

Your Gran says hi and tough shit about the will

Highway to Hell and Stairway to Heaven were just two of my creations to let you know the true volume of traffic.

The rest of the music is just as good

There's no wifi. Don't need it as we have wall to wall entertainment.

Turn left on entering and pick up a rule book from Knitter. She's finally managed not to cock up feeding time

Oh... And you... Yes YOU.... My office in 5

Yes yes feed the dragons and demons seperatly, extra iron, cuddles for Seraphina not HIM

Now these rule books ummmmmm

are they in the cupboard by the stairs?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sitting opposite knitter

Fixed that for you ..

FTFY Dan I always think if your going to do it, its best to commit to it

awww Colgate was definitely right first time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My idea of hell is no music and people who smell. Yeuch! Isn't it fortunate that I'm a good girl.

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By *orkDefenderMan
over a year ago

Just East of Wakefield

"Having to watch soap operas constantly

Interspersed with football

shudders

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

A whole look more inviting than your's

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"A whole look more inviting than your's

Why am I thinking of hell to be a great place to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sitting in a warm hot cave, burning fires outside (the pictures you get of hell with fires roaring) sitting back with the devil enjoying a Whisky, & ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wanna point out that hell is bit full at the moment, me and the husband decided to liven up the place so sorry for taking David Bowie, Nick menza,Glenn frey and prince. But you can't really blame us?

So we can't offer you 24 hours in our house of pain, but your welcome to join us for our sexy party. But as it's hell (and we would hate for you to actually enjoy yourselves) we expect everyone to remain fully clothed throughout and scantily clad ladies and gents will be asked to put on extra clothes (we will provide long trench coats, extremely itchy,unflattering uncomfortable wooly jumpers, and cordoroy trousers)

Mrs 666

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'd go to Hell and work a a free-lance bastard

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By *ombikerMan
over a year ago

the right side of the river

Having to watch nothing but the new top gear

Most painful experience I can think of ha ha

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"I just wanna point out that hell is bit full at the moment, me and the husband decided to liven up the place so sorry for taking David Bowie, Nick menza,Glenn frey and prince. But you can't really blame us?

Mrs 666

It sounded so good at the beginning...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs 666

It sounded so good at the beginning...

Well i could be persuaded to change it to a naked party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi!

Like the way no fucker has asked me if I'm ok with this?

Have you any idea how much extra work that'll be?

The manpower needed?

Demons don't just appear from the Job Centre you know!

And the paperwork

Let's get a few things straight right now....

No one and I mean NO ONE is sitting in my chair.....

Your Gran says hi and tough shit about the will

Highway to Hell and Stairway to Heaven were just two of my creations to let you know the true volume of traffic.

The rest of the music is just as good

There's no wifi. Don't need it as we have wall to wall entertainment.

Turn left on entering and pick up a rule book from Knitter. She's finally managed not to cock up feeding time

Oh... And you... Yes YOU.... My office in 5

Yes yes feed the dragons and demons seperatly, extra iron, cuddles for Seraphina not HIM

Now these rule books ummmmmm

are they in the cupboard by the stairs?"

Ask La Oscuridad nicely and he'll let you know ....

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Mrs 666

It sounded so good at the beginning...

Well i could be persuaded to change it to a naked party

Back on track!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Sharing a room with my ex husband and Dicks ex wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi!

Like the way no fucker has asked me if I'm ok with this?

Have you any idea how much extra work that'll be?

The manpower needed?

Demons don't just appear from the Job Centre you know!

And the paperwork

Let's get a few things straight right now....

No one and I mean NO ONE is sitting in my chair.....

Your Gran says hi and tough shit about the will

Highway to Hell and Stairway to Heaven were just two of my creations to let you know the true volume of traffic.

The rest of the music is just as good

There's no wifi. Don't need it as we have wall to wall entertainment.

Turn left on entering and pick up a rule book from Knitter. She's finally managed not to cock up feeding time

Oh... And you... Yes YOU.... My office in 5

Yes yes feed the dragons and demons seperatly, extra iron, cuddles for Seraphina not HIM

Now these rule books ummmmmm

are they in the cupboard by the stairs?

Ask La Oscuridad nicely and he'll let you know ...."

You know I dont think he likes me

everytime I try to tickle him he shows me his teeth and I dont think he is smiling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask for a couple hot pokers and become 'demon of the year' for a day, I'd probably be sent to hell for killing humans who eat noisily after being told not to, or pavement ragekilling of an innocent human. Hate most of them as it is so hell wouldn't be all that bad if I get to help condemn more souls for a day

Mrs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite."

even if I cuddle him?

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?"

Or even if we want him too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having to listen to Nigel Farage

OR made to eat shrimp.

Both equally evil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought we were already in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

having no mirrors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wank buddy would be with me. But id be tied to a chair n he would be hovering his perfect cock just close enoght to me so I can smell him but not touch him.

Oh hell I'm horny now n still canny wank. Aggghhhhhh.

xxx

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"having no mirrors

I hear you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?"

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience "

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having an upset tummy and there being no toilet around for miles. Makes me sweat just thinking about it

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins...."

Diet just came out of my nose lololol

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins...."

Sounds a pussy cat

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins....

Diet just came out of my nose lololol "

It's ok, it'd be like poking jelly with a cocktail stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins....

Diet just came out of my nose lololol

It's ok, it'd be like poking jelly with a cocktail stick

Ouch hot beverage

**note to self no drinks when reading fab**

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins....

Diet just came out of my nose lololol

It's ok, it'd be like poking jelly with a cocktail stick

Ouch hot beverage

**note to self no drinks when reading fab**"

Oh dear, does it look like you've been playing water sports?

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Sent to heaven for a day, I would be bored out of my mind.

Everything I enjoy is a sin, so heaven must be dull as fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably like wandering around IKEA unable to find the shortcut out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucifer has given him strict instructions.

He won't bite.

even if I cuddle him?

Or even if we want him too?

That's not a bite you'd want to experience

Just a nibble then? From behind, on my shoulders

Miss A we are talking about the dragon not Lucifer lol

Im sure Lucifer would be happy to bit you

A dragon? Ok .... On reflection I'll take a whipping with his tail. Best start gently though

Oh Dear Miss A he has barbs on this tail. Ill just bring my flogger

Oh yes please sweet cheeks (although I don't mind the barbs)

You do realise he's roughly 150T, 200ft long and the barbs are about the size of javelins....

Diet just came out of my nose lololol

It's ok, it'd be like poking jelly with a cocktail stick

Ouch hot beverage

**note to self no drinks when reading fab**

Oh dear, does it look like you've been playing water sports?"

Eewewww no but my phone is all sticky

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Sex with demons.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Sorry that's my idea of heaven. I fucked up.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I'd go to Hell and work a a free-lance bastard

That might be quite a laugh

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