FabSwingers.com forum: Say Something Funny For Comic Relief

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets not leave it up to the comedians on the telly this evening.... lets start our own Red Nose Day here. It has to be original and a reflection of your sense of humour or state of mind (interesting)... I'll start your creative juices flowing. On my status I wrote

Comic Relief? I'll laugh as I wank you...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

'Something funny for comic relief.'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees."

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

There have been pictures taken already so I will attempt to upload one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

There have been pictures taken already so I will attempt to upload one."

Can i also request that its just the socks you are wearing in this picture??

possibly with a red nose clamped to the head of your 'little man' for comic effect

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

There have been pictures taken already so I will attempt to upload one."

hmmmm that reminds me, werent we promised pics of you in leapord print heels???

i honestly would donate money to see them!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought this was meant to be funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man home from pub tells wife "Just heard our window cleaner's had every woman in this street bar one" Wife says "What! Bet it's that stuck-up cow from No. 23"

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

There have been pictures taken already so I will attempt to upload one.

hmmmm that reminds me, werent we promised pics of you in leapord print heels???

i honestly would donate money to see them!!!!!

LOL They have been destroyed... I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/03/11 11:45:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought this was meant to be funny

visualise an ape in red knee high socks and high heels with a red nose clamped to his bell end.. it is funny.

even funnier if you take the paper bag off his face too

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Thought this was meant to be funny

Much like the Comic Relief TV event tonight very little will be funny mate.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

think we need a webcam snap shot picture as evidence

There have been pictures taken already so I will attempt to upload one.

hmmmm that reminds me, werent we promised pics of you in leapord print heels???

i honestly would donate money to see them!!!!!

LOL They have been destroyed... I think.

well go re create them.......or dont you care about the poor starving children in Africa dying of malaria?????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought this was meant to be funny

Much like the Comic Relief TV event tonight very little will be funny mate."
Now thats funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've decided not to donate any money to comic relief

. I figured since it's on BBC1 And I pay my tv license its the same thing

Just kidding

I don't pay my tv licence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't people take me seriously, can't for the life of me think why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Private parts *Soapy runs off sniggering ta the other side a the playground* xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well if thats how you feel I'm off to sit with makka pakka in the corner

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"well if thats how you feel I'm off to sit with makka pakka in the corner

Mikka Makka Moo!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well if thats how you feel I'm off to sit with makka pakka in the corner

Mikka Makka Moo!!!!"

Plinky plonk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Childeren will play xx

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

I got a funny text today...a friend is off to a place called Lady Hole to talk about diving!

ok ,i'ii get me coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it red nose day!

At least Nick Clegg will be able hide his brown one...

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i got caught short yesterday and had to go for a leak in a public convenience. I was standing at the urinal having a wee when i glanced to my left and there stood a dwarf furiously winking at me. I turned away and carried on. Overcome by curiosity i had to glance again at the dwarf, and he was still there and still winking. 'whats your bloody game mate?' i said 'you fancy me or something?'

To which he replies 'no you're splashing my fekin eyes'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the swinging community were to contribute you could call it Hand Relief.....

Started my christmas shopping early, got my son an artificial leg, its only a stocking filler....

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

To which he replies 'no you're splashing my fekin eyes'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Russian man and his wife hurried home on christmas eve. Precipitation began to fall. That looks like snow said the wife. No its definitely just rain replied her husband. The argued for a while then they were approached by a friend. The greeted each other and the husband said Wwhere have you been Rudie?" "To party headquarters for a meeting with our comrades about the cold weather plans" he replied. "Ah you still have communist tendencies then!" laughed the husband!

"Settle an argument is this rain or snow falling?" "Its rain" said comrade Rudie. "It is snow!" declared the wife". The husband placed his hand on his wifes arm and said' "enough!"........

"Rudolph the Red Knows rain dear"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Comic Relief, all those nice young African children doing their bit to re-ignite Lenny Henry’s career. It’s heart-warming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hamster had a terrible accident this morning...................he died at the wheel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lenny Henry, Ade Edmondson and Ricky Gervais walked into a comedy sketch together. Oh how we didn't laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't stand Comic Relief. Who in their right mind would want to spend an evening being subject to a stream of pathetic, witless, cliched and repetitive people

I'd much rather spend my time on Fabswingers.

Oh, wait...

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

A girl comes home to find her man blow drying his cock. "What on earth are you doing?" she asked. To which he replied, "heating up your dinner, you ungrateful cow!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't stand Comic Relief. Who in their right mind would want to spend an evening being subject to a stream of pathetic, witless, cliched and repetitive people

I'd much rather spend my time on Fabswingers.

Oh, wait..."

lol Ive had a reet laugh at some of the things said on threads today. Much better than comic relief. It has its moments but on the whole its like sitting there waiting for new years eve to happen with only your auntie for company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees."

now, why did it need me to read that for me to actually click there was something unusual about your pic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine being the Libyan leader's bodyguard when someone tries to shoot him and you have to shout...

'Gadaffi Duck!'

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

if you throw maltesers on the floor at a weight watchers club you get a human version of hungry hippos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine being the Libyan leader's bodyguard when someone tries to shoot him and you have to shout...

'Gadaffi Duck!'"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can really relate to the people of japan, After 9 aftershocks i struggle to find my house as well !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can really relate to the people of japan, After 9 aftershocks i struggle to find my house as well !!!"

boo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can really relate to the people of japan, After 9 aftershocks i struggle to find my house as well !!!

boo!"

ah, i see what he did there...he edited out christchurch...which edited out pakistan...etc....etc

very clever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I particularly enjoy the fact that Dances alones eyes stare OUT of the avatar and follow you wherever you are in the room.

I often sit and stare right back. Nothing needs to be said. There is understanding.

I have sold my television for this feature alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I particularly enjoy the fact that Dances alones eyes stare OUT of the avatar and follow you wherever you are in the room.

I often sit and stare right back. Nothing needs to be said. There is understanding.

I have sold my television for this feature alone."

yeah...i've got my beady eyes on you...

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"I can really relate to the people of japan, After 9 aftershocks i struggle to find my house as well !!!"

Tasteless... Certainly!

Tactless.... Absolutely

Funny?...... Yep! (unless you are from the politically correct brigade!

)

And now for a politically incorrect joke... Toned down for the sensitive!

Bloke in a nightclub sees a "rather large young woman who appears to have a problem controlling her weight" at the bar,he walks up to her and notices that she "sadly, doesn't appear to be the best looking young woman in the club" and asks "have you got a pen"? She looks up, smiles and says "yes!" He says "you'd better fuck off back to it then before the farmer notices you're missing!"

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi has requested to be returned from Libya to a Scottish prison for his safety.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

now, why did it need me to read that for me to actually click there was something unusual about your pic?"

Tut! Keep up luv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi has requested to be returned from Libya to a Scottish prison for his safety. "

one's a lawless backwater with extreme violence and scant regard for public safety and the other is......oh i'll just let you finish it yaself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok that's won me £7.23 in the guess who will say that first sweepstakestakes...

Less my cut leaves you £3.61.50

I can't say anything funnier I am hyperactive on cake at work with red football socks on up to my knees.

now, why did it need me to read that for me to actually click there was something unusual about your pic?

Tut! Keep up luv

nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you"

For me that is a compliment! Fankoo x

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Laughing Gas

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you

For me that is a compliment! Fankoo x"

Now that I look at my avatar again I look a bit like Spider-man... with boots. AWESOME!

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

If a coalman's business can go up in smoke and a plumber's business go down teh pan, can a hooker get laid off?

Got some herbs in my eye earlier - am now parsley-sighted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you

For me that is a compliment! Fankoo x

Now that I look at my avatar again I look a bit like Spider-man... with boots. AWESOME!"

spiderman with brown boots on green lino

didn't think that through now did you?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you

For me that is a compliment! Fankoo x

Now that I look at my avatar again I look a bit like Spider-man... with boots. AWESOME!

spiderman with brown boots on green lino

didn't think that through now did you?"

I'm actually suspended over a giant vat of pea soup but I can see where you got the lino thing from.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"nothing to do with keeping up...just didn't consider it unusual....for you

For me that is a compliment! Fankoo x

Now that I look at my avatar again I look a bit like Spider-man... with boots. AWESOME!

spiderman with brown boots on green lino

didn't think that through now did you?

I'm actually suspended over a giant vat of pea soup but I can see where you got the lino thing from."

By spider webs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually suspended over a giant vat of pea soup but I can see where you got the lino thing from.

By spider webs."

a vat of soup with skirting?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got quite excited at the prospect of Fake That being on Comic Relief tonight until I realised it wasn't about the plight of women who couldn't have orgasms.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I'm actually suspended over a giant vat of pea soup but I can see where you got the lino thing from.

By spider webs.

a vat of soup with skirting?"

Yes skirting on vats!!!! Stop spoiling it for me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You didn't think it through. You are standing on a floor made entirely of snot woven together with your spider webs that set before you could move and you are stuck there for all eternity until someone says the magic word to release you that is only known by me and until someone guesses it you remain trapped.

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well that is gonna keep me confused for years to come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got quite excited at the prospect of Fake That being on Comic Relief tonight until I realised it wasn't about the plight of women who couldn't have orgasms."

hahahahahahahahahaha....sorry, i was busy

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"You didn't think it through. You are standing on a floor made entirely of snot woven together with your spider webs that set before you could move and you are stuck there for all eternity until someone says the magic word to release you that is only known by me and until someone guesses it you remain trapped.

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw."

Blancmange? I love that word.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

Blancmange? I love that word."

Spookily very close - am officially in hysterics

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

Blancmange? I love that word.

Spookily very close - am officially in hysterics"

Custard? No Jelly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

Blancmange? I love that word.

Spookily very close - am officially in hysterics"
Flange

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

Blancmange? I love that word.

Spookily very close - am officially in hysterics

Custard? No Jelly?"

Beer Shampoo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloke hires a hitman do shoot his nagging wife of 40 years , hitman says "no problem , i'll shoot her right below her left breast " bloke replies " thats no fucking good , i want her dead not kneecapped !"

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Its not Rumpelstiltskin btw.

Blancmange? I love that word.

Spookily very close - am officially in hysterics

Custard? No Jelly?"

panna cotta??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, my funny post has arrived...

_muma is a sweet, innocent classy lady

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

..Just received a caution from the Police.

Apparently wrapping your cock in a copy of the Beano and wanking is not Comic Relief!

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"I love Comic Relief, all those nice young African children doing their bit to re-ignite Lenny Henry’s career. It’s heart-warming."

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have turned str8........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have turned str8........"

.....and Wendy says she is a Mother Superior.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I have turned str8........

.....and Wendy says she is a Mother Superior."

I AM!! And I am placing you under vows of silence and celibacy!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have turned str8........

.....and Wendy says she is a Mother Superior.

I AM!! And I am placing you under vows of silence and celibacy!!!"

That include you? especially the silence bit xx

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I have turned str8........

.....and Wendy says she is a Mother Superior.

I AM!! And I am placing you under vows of silence and celibacy!!!

That include you? especially the silence bit xx

yep..both!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peter Kaye is fookin ugly no matter which sex he happens to be at any given moment.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Say something funny for comic relief?...they should have tried that last night!..

The silences when the cameras returned to the presenters in the studio after the 'hilarious' skits (oh my aching spleen) was embarrassing...apart from a few token strained laughs..

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By *teborahCouple
over a year ago

warrington

"Peter Kaye is fookin ugly no matter which sex he happens to be at any given moment.

Are we talking about Peter Kay the comedian from Bolton? If so then in my opinion and plenty others think he is a very funny man. But as you said Peter Kaye then im not sure who you mean exaclty and he may indeed be as ugly as you say??

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