FabSwingers.com forum: Do you 'feel' your gender?

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

I'm female but how do I know what I feel like is female? On a scale of human female, I don't do the nails/hair/makeup thing and I take comfort and function over looks any day and I take pride in my health and impact on the bit of planet I'm on.

What do you think?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bisexual woman in a mans body.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I'm a bisexual woman in a mans body."

But how do you know that? Are you identifying your sexual preferences or your gender? Can the two be separated?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a question that can't have a definitive answer. Feelings and the understanding of feelings is very individual. In turn, 2nd party understanding of another persons feelings is subjective. So my take is just be.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I do a lot of things that are sterotypical of a woman. But as far as sex i think like a stereotypical male.

Whatever i am im happy being it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

I'm comfortable in my own skin. I've often wondered what it would like to be a woman though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just the way I see the world around me, I've always felt I identify more with the feminine than the masculine - sure, I have my aggressive and macho moments, but at my root, I feel I should have been female. Sometimes I struggle to reconcile how I feel on the inside, with the hefty, hairy, bald guy I see in the mirror.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"This is a question that can't have a definitive answer. Feelings and the understanding of feelings is very individual. In turn, 2nd party understanding of another persons feelings is subjective. So my take is just be....."

Oh I agree with you, if we all just let ourselves be ourselves...

What I'm trying to understand are people like sexybrain who although male in appearance, say they feel like a woman. What does it feel like to be a man or woman?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I feel 100% like a man but I appear to be not like any man I've ever known. I feel different and women especially, don't react to me like they do with other men. I tend to not have a great affinity with men either. I'm somehow different to the rest in a way I've never been able to quite put my finger on. I guess as long as I can keep on being me I'll be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

i feel both but wish i was female i just have to make do with dressing up when the urges surface..and try and be a real man for my job ..its hard work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Feel like a man (heh heh).....seriously, feel like a man, and act like a masculine man and am one. I an bisexual though but I never used to be so that was a bit weird to come to terms with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feel like a man (heh heh).....seriously, feel like a man, and act like a masculine man and am one. I an bisexual though but I never used to be so that was a bit weird to come to terms with. "

Likewise, but at this point of my life, it doesn't make sense to run from it anymore. If some homophobe wants to challenge my sexuality to my face, I'll be perfectly happy to prove myself a 'man' in that respect, and he runs the risk of having his arse kicked by a semi-poof

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

"Feel like a man (heh heh).....seriously, feel like a man, and act like a masculine man and am one. I an bisexual though but I never used to be so that was a bit weird to come to terms with. "

I know why the phrase 'suck it and see' was created.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I feel like a woman. I'm quite 'girly' in my tastes. I still can't do eye liner though.

I also think it's a result of living with 3 boys. I'm constantly trying to feminise my life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I feel my gender, even though I am very atypical in that I am extremely logical, spatially aware, and a shit-hot parallel parker.

The feminists will hate me but in my view it is more masculine to initiate and feminine to respond - and I prefer to respond.

In dancing we call that lead and follow, and I am a brilliant follower.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?"

I think that a lot of the ways that people would think as feeling female or feeling male are more to do with stereotypes and assumptions about gender.We are all individuals,none of us is created with these ways of thinkin,feeling and acting,,these likes and dislikes.They are all developed in us as we grow and are nurtured.

An easy and obvious example is 'pink for girls,,,blue for boys'.That stereotype has changed over the years,others can change too.

Feelings of being your sex are more to do with primary sexual characteristics,the ability to bear children,having breasts,a smooth complexion.However,an absence of these may make a person be perceived as less feminine but she will still be female.

A persons gender characteristics are a result of their upbringing,their surroundings ,their personal development,,,a persons sex characteristics can change,just not so easily.

Feeling female (or feeling male) is whatever you want it to be,whatever it is to you may be different to what it is to me or another person.

Sorry for going on a bit,,I do tend to do that (typical woman,,,some might say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your happy being your gender then you must feel your gender, otherwise you wouldn't be happy with it surely?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting.

I feel like a woman. I don't associate being a woman with things like doing my makeup and hair and those societal constructs. I don't really wear much makeup, I enjoy sports more than the spa, and I'm more loud and obnoxious than most women I know. But I still feel womanly. I think for me those are seperate things.

It's hard for me to articulate because I haven't thought it out completely, but I know that I've never felt manly. I identify inwardly as a woman and it feels right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that people who form an identity around factors they were born with are a bit sad really

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that people who form an identity around factors they were born with are a bit sad really"

You adapt to survive in your environment, that's the fundamental principle of evolution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never have. I did better in TD,electronics,woodwork and metalwork than I did in typing and needlework. I've never liked girly things and I hate shopping,getting my nails and hair done and daytime television. I was an Airfix not a dolly person and I enjoy watching sports.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting.

It's hard for me to articulate because I haven't thought it out completely, but I know that I've never felt manly. I identify inwardly as a woman and it feels right."

I only feel womanly when I'm with a man who is treating me like a woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is a difference between not feeling girly and not feeling your gender

I remember a young lady a few years ago who I used to go into via work who tried to cut her own breasts off because she hated her body so much, she said she didn't identify with the body she was in and wanted to change it, she was only 17

To me that's not feeling the gender you was born

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a single mum so mum and dad I have more male friends than females pretty good at diy too x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that people who form an identity around factors they were born with are a bit sad really

You adapt to survive in your environment, that's the fundamental principle of evolution."

Could you elaborate on the link between personal identity and survival?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wish i new the answer x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I am a male who can associate with my feminine side. I like blokey things, but at the same time am in touch with the girly me.

Ok I can't do eyeliner yet, or walk in heels, but what ever way I am dressed feels normal. By that when as a male, I feel masculine (all be it a chubby masculine), when as a female, I feel different, more relaxed more passive for want of a better word.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wish i new the answer x"

Maybe the question is wrong then?

In other cultures gender is seen as a spectrum and so it wouldn't be all that strange to see hybrid of masculine and feminine characteristics. It wouldn't even warrant a question.

It's a very western concept that we must shoe horn everyone into just two categories, and not a good one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

I feel 100% like a man and have never had any doubt about this whatsoever.

That said, my girlfriend is also a man (technically).

However she feels and has always felt entirely feminine in every way. As a child she played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses.

I never truly appreciated this until I was training at home with a jump rope.

I skip like a guy (on the balls of my feet with little other movement) and she skips like a 7 yr old girl (as if running along a playground jumping tiny hurdles)

From that moment I never doubted that she simply should have been born a girl.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel 100% like a man and have never had any doubt about this whatsoever.

That said, my girlfriend is also a man (technically).

However she feels and has always felt entirely feminine in every way. As a child she played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses.

I never truly appreciated this until I was training at home with a jump rope.

I skip like a guy (on the balls of my feet with little other movement) and she skips like a 7 yr old girl (as if running along a playground jumping tiny hurdles)

From that moment I never doubted that she simply should have been born a girl. "

love this x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I put my hand in my pants I feel a man. The rest of the time i'm just human.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would

to feel my gender but no one wants to play.

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would

to feel my gender but no one wants to play.

xxx"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel 100% like a man and have never had any doubt about this whatsoever.

That said, my girlfriend is also a man (technically).

However she feels and has always felt entirely feminine in every way. As a child she played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses.

I never truly appreciated this until I was training at home with a jump rope.

I skip like a guy (on the balls of my feet with little other movement) and she skips like a 7 yr old girl (as if running along a playground jumping tiny hurdles)

From that moment I never doubted that she simply should have been born a girl. "

Do you think it would be more helpful to have more of a spectrum view of gender?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm gender queer or fluid, but not politically so.

Physically female, yet have high testosterone in my system and frequently called a queer man stuck in a woman's body, which makes sense.

Considered transitioning but have accepted the body I've been dealt with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont know any different

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting.

It's hard for me to articulate because I haven't thought it out completely, but I know that I've never felt manly. I identify inwardly as a woman and it feels right.

I only feel womanly when I'm with a man who is treating me like a woman. "

That's interesting. So when you're not with a man who is treating you like a woman, what do you feel like? Or do you just not feel manly/womanly in most situations?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Do you think it would be more helpful to have more of a spectrum view of gender?"

Yes, without a doubt.

We have a wide range of friends and if their view of gender were interpreted on a percentage scale I recon we know someone at 10% increments on the scale from one end to the other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?"

Every month my breasts turn into pinchy, painful MELONS. I cry at nothing, laugh at everything, I walk into furniture. Oh and the pain in my womb makes me want to roar, plus a desire to eat my own weight in chocolate.

I feel unfortunately, extremely female then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never felt male. I look at men and all I can see is how different I am from them. From the way they think to the way they move.

I feel much closer to the female population. I grew breasts as a child and was given pills, hormones I think, to stop them growing.

I'd love my blood tested. My brain activity scanned. I'm sure I'm not male. I'm not fully female either and my body is a cruel joke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?"

Mrs M

Ok so I am a woman and I consider myself a woman but not a girly girl or a tomboy and then on a really deeper level we only really consider ourselves on whatever gender we have been programmed as such to be over many many years surely we all are who we are

Live and let live

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive been giving this some thought as its something ive never thought,about.

I think im just accepting because ive never felt i shouldnt be this sex. My sister was a complete tomboy still is, but never questioned being female.

Im very fortunate that i dont kmow what its like to feel or know what its like to be born that way..

It is very intetesting subject

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel 100% like a man and have never had any doubt about this whatsoever.

That said, my girlfriend is also a man (technically).

However she feels and has always felt entirely feminine in every way. As a child she played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses.

I never truly appreciated this until I was training at home with a jump rope.

I skip like a guy (on the balls of my feet with little other movement) and she skips like a 7 yr old girl (as if running along a playground jumping tiny hurdles)

From that moment I never doubted that she simply should have been born a girl. "

I skip like you do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there is a difference between not feeling girly and not feeling your gender

To me that's not feeling the gender you was born "

I can absolutely empathise with this,as a young person feeling such despair at the sight of the body you see in the mirror that you are tempted to mutilate yourself.....but,,a surgeon can do a much neater job and the feelings of liberation when your body finally is congruent with your soul really do make life worth living.

Just saying that for the benefit of anyone reading who does feel compelled to harm themselves,,,,there is a much better way and it really is worth the pain and heartache.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not happy now. I just got to work and I felt one of the guys I work with.. I've now got a fat lip and a black eye!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?

An easy and obvious example is 'pink for girls,,,blue for boys'.That stereotype has changed over the years,others can change too.

A persons gender characteristics are a result of their upbringing,their surroundings ,their personal development,,,a persons sex characteristics can change,just not so easily.

Feeling female (or feeling male) is whatever you want it to be,whatever it is to you may be different to what it is to me or another person.

Sorry for going on a bit,,I do tend to do that (typical woman,,,some might say

)."

It's interesting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wish i new the answer x

Maybe the question is wrong then?

In other cultures gender is seen as a spectrum and so it wouldn't be all that strange to see hybrid of masculine and feminine characteristics. It wouldn't even warrant a question.

It's a very western concept that we must shoe horn everyone into just two categories, and not a good one."

That makes sense, I've never thought of it that way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

This isn't meant as a flippant response .... I feel like me. I don't know what it's like to feel like anything or anyone else.

I feel like I belong in my body, that being a female one, and I've never felt like I should be a man.

As for what makes me feel that way, I guess it's just because I'm happy with myself inside and out. Things I'm good at, enjoy or I'm just interested in aren't defined by me being female, they're defined by just being me.

Does that make sense?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that people who form an identity around factors they were born with are a bit sad really

You adapt to survive in your environment, that's the fundamental principle of evolution.

Could you elaborate on the link between personal identity and survival? "

Sometimes you have to repress your inner self in order to be better accepted by those around you, I'm sure homosexuals in Americas backward bible belt can attest to this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think it would be more helpful to have more of a spectrum view of gender?

Yes, without a doubt.

We have a wide range of friends and if their view of gender were interpreted on a percentage scale I recon we know someone at 10% increments on the scale from one end to the other. "

Reading 1984 got me thinking about this kind of thing. We use language that in many ways confines our thinking and I believe a lot of it leads to prejudice.

When you tell kids that there are only two categories of gender and that one of those categories wears a dress and the other doesn't - then of course they think it's strange if they see a guy in a dress. If you told them gender was a spectrum, for agreements sake it was an eight point scale then what was a 'guy in a dress' is just a 'point near the middle' where the distinctions aren't so strong. No further explanation would be necessary.

Ironically people don't seem to mind talking about sexuality in these terms - "I'm bi but I prefer women" (~70% straight) but I think too many people can't get past thinking of gender as your genitals.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

"I feel 100% like a man and have never had any doubt about this whatsoever.

That said, my girlfriend is also a man (technically).

However she feels and has always felt entirely feminine in every way. As a child she played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses.

I never truly appreciated this until I was training at home with a jump rope.

I skip like a guy (on the balls of my feet with little other movement) and she skips like a 7 yr old girl (as if running along a playground jumping tiny hurdles)

From that moment I never doubted that she simply should have been born a girl.

I skip like you do."

Which one of us were you talking to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm feminine to a huge extent but a little mixed. Most of what we know about gender is a cultural phenomena and it may comfort and also limit us.

What does a full man or woman feel like? Can't we all feel it all!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancyDrewWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm a trans woman and I find this immensely interesting. There are SO many factors and things to comment on.

As brief as poss - I was VERY lucky in that my mum had an amazing confidence in who she was and what (without calling it thus) feminism was. I had a GREAT role model in that respect.

I love how some of the women here have questioned what it is to be 'female' - over the years, from essentially, transphobes all I have heard is "but how do you KNOW you are female" and yet when I ask them -well how do YOU know? - they cant answer. Is it a construct? Who knows. I think we are getting a lil bit closer to this question being answered in that: it doesn't matter how you ID, as long as you are true to yourself, whether you are a trans woman, a cis woman or cis man who doesn't conform to antiquated views of gender.

I LOVE being strong. I LOVE being able to stand up for myself, I love my make up and I love choosing a pint if I so choose. I love being able to make people laugh. I LOVE having a vagina - WAY more than I ever thought was possible (and not just in a sexual arousal way).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I LOVE having a vagina - WAY more than I ever thought was possible (and not just in a sexual arousal way). "

I quite fancy having tits but wouldn't swap johnson for fanny in exchange for all the cheese in cheddar!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only when no one is looking!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a girly girl, I try to do the whole make up thing but for everyday attire, I'm more than happy with my hair up and bare faced, I'm probably too lazy to get up earlier to do that whole 'thing' but I still identify myself as a woman, only because I wear a bra daily!!

I'm not into typical women or men things, I like whatever I like, if it's male orientated so be it, I used to love watching the Grand Prix with my dad for example, I guess as a teenager I was more a tomboy and I guess that's followed me through into adulthood.

It's only in the last year I've started to wear dresses before that it was all jeans. But I think that was because I was married and didn't 'need' to look like a typical woman. I love to wear dresses now and do the make up thing (when I have some and can be bothered)

I'm me and I'm happy with that

G x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?"
.

I think all those things are just societal"female" things.... We spend way too much time worrying about nonsense like gender, to me it's a sign of a society with not enough real stuff to do or worry about, maybe that's good, maybe I'm just getting older

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nattering with friends recently, we discussed how we feel like our gender.

What do you think?.

I remember reading a book by an Austrian Jewish immigrant to America whose family fled Austria just before WW2. They lived in a fairly shit block of flats and the boy was semi-traumatised when he read an article in the local newspaper about how such flats were 'destroying the character' of the neighbourhood. He was upset and asked his dad if the article was true?

His dad smiled and said "the biggest problem people here have is what statement their home makes about the identity of their neighbourhood. What a fantastic country"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like sewing, shoe shopping, hell I like shopping in general, I cook, I clean, and I look after my son, I bake, I've even taken to meeting the girls (other single parents) for coffee, but I still feel that I do all these things like a man, because I am a man,no matter how new age and feminist I am, I'm still a male, I scratch my balls and leave the toilet seat up, I use the foulest of language while watching football, and I'm happy that way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like sewing, shoe shopping, hell I like shopping in general, I cook, I clean, and I look after my son, I bake, I've even taken to meeting the girls (other single parents) for coffee, but I still feel that I do all these things like a man, because I am a man,no matter how new age and feminist I am, I'm still a male, I scratch my balls and leave the toilet seat up, I use the foulest of language while watching football, and I'm happy that way

I like sewing; I'm on my third machine. Two ex's took my others. I luuuurve shoe and clothes shopping. I cook. I clean. I have custody of my daughters. First one at 16 months (she's now 24yrs) the second aged 4 ( she's 20).

I mothered rather than fathered. Everyone saw that. My baking is a bit shit but I can do lemon drizzle cake.

I used to do coffee after dropping the kids at school if I had time. I hate my balls. I never stand to pee. I can't abide sport. I love chick flicks and love songs. I cry at anything sad or cute or emotional. I'm happy that way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I feel 100% like a man but I appear to be not like any man I've ever known. I feel different and women especially, don't react to me like they do with other men. I tend to not have a great affinity with men either. I'm somehow different to the rest in a way I've never been able to quite put my finger on. I guess as long as I can keep on being me I'll be fine."

It's because you're nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Good question OP

I feel that I am a woman though I don't tend to do many stereotypical 'girlie' things.

I like logic and building and I can reverse park. But I still feel like a very feminine being

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all woman lots of curves and soft spots love feeling small (not easy for me) love to be ultra femine underwear makeup nails and very submissive but I'm not into foof glitz pink teddys not my thing so I'm a grown woman not a girl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread