FabSwingers.com forum: Just rude!!!

By *Load2Cum OP Man
over a year ago

manchester

Is it just me that thinks it's really rude not to reply to a message? Yes I understand you maybe flooded with winks and messages everyday, but a simple " NO THANKS" or " NOT INTERESTED" doesn't take that long!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nah,,i get zillions of stupid messages,,why would I waste my time responding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just me that thinks it's really rude not to reply to a message? Yes I understand you maybe flooded with winks and messages everyday, but a simple " NO THANKS" or " NOT INTERESTED" doesn't take that long! "

One is not compelled or under any pressure from the site to reply to messages.

Some people get trillions so it's impossible to do so.

I use filters, makes it a little easier.

Patience Padwan, it will happen.

Be happy.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Site FAQs state 'no reply = no'.

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

We've only been on fab for 4 months. Sent 100s of messages. Most of them no reply or unread.

I keep messaging anyway. That's how it is. Get on with it or stop messaging people.

Important thing is to have fun. If it's not fun ,there's no point

MrsSB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you reply "no thanks" nine times out of ten you get a reply asking why and then you're drawn into a conversation. Not replying saves everyone's time

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

No its not rude not to reply.

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By *Load2Cum OP Man
over a year ago

manchester

True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's nothing personal so don't take it that way.

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Not replying is the same as saying no thanks or not interested, but also says i don't want to chat.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I have 1253 unread at the moment due to sticking new pic's up,how the stuff am I meant to answer them all whilst still trying to have a conversation with the odd few hundred,I blooming can't so bugger off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I spent all my time reading and replying to my messages with "no ta", I'd have no time to eat, wash, sleep, drink, work, do stuff for leisure.

It's a poor trade off, just so you don't get upset, OP.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"It's nothing personal so don't take it that way."

It's personal lib,it's now personal!

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

when i was meeting, most of the messages I didnt reply to were from people who if they had bothered to read a profile would know they werent what i was looking for...

now most of unanswered mail is from people who if they had bothered to read a profile would know not only are they not what im looking for, but im also not meeting at all....

theres a theme at play here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I used to try to respond to all messages. It just becomes really hard work tbh.

Most will accept a no thank you with good grace but it can lead to ackward exchanges and sometime abuse. Ive lost count of the number of times Ive been called a C**t

No reply = no. Its widely accepted on the site.

Have fun Knitter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit that I always prefer to reply but lately I have been thinking of just not replying. You see, I've replied "no thanks" to so many people that our filters are basically useless, so when we aren't meeting the only way to stop getting messages is to hide our profile. It's exhausting. I think it might be better to just make a new profile so our filters actually work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's really rude to join a site and not read the FAQ's where it is clearly stated that no reply means not interested and then call people rude for not replying.

I also think it's rude to respond to a polite 'no thanks' message with abuse or a whiney 'why not' message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's nothing personal so don't take it that way.

It's personal lib,it's now personal!

And I am mortally wounded.

Well, I would be if I didn't get responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your sent mail then your none of the wiser to see if it's been read or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried replying to all my messages even when it's obvious they haven't even bothered to read my profile ...trouble is most of the time they'll reply back saying "why?" So it then leads to a ping pong of messages ...now I don't bother xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/16 14:24:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've tried replying to all my messages even when it's obvious they haven't even bothered to read my profile ...trouble is most of the time they'll reply back saying "why?" So it then leads to a ping pong of messages ...now I don't bother xx"

And "you stupid fucking stuck up bitch" or other such comments. You rarely get insulted when you don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/16 14:25:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nah,,i get zillions of stupid messages,,why would I waste my time responding"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to all guys who have read my profile. Those who don't spend time reading don't get my time in a response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh gawd, we have another one with a case of the nasty.

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By *ancyDrewWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"If you reply "no thanks" nine times out of ten you get a reply asking why and then you're drawn into a conversation. Not replying saves everyone's time "

All of this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and rude hits a whole new level

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Bugger where are the haribos ?

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

Your assuming your message was opened and read when someone could have just looked at profile decided no or just done a mass bulk delete

The site makes it a pain to reply as it means people get through any filter changing you might make,

SO no it is not rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me or has the level of expectation increased over the years on this site?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Is it me or has the level of expectation increased over the years on this site?"

The level of entitlement seems to have.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Is it me or has the level of expectation increased over the years on this site?"

Expectation or entitlement?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 300+ unread messages at the moment. It's not feasible to reply to them all. It's not personal so don't take it to heart.

Maybe try an interesting message title rather than the generic hi. That might get their attention. .

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Oh gawd, we have another one with a case of the nasty."

It appears so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more time your in replying to messages the more you get. I try to reply with no thanks. But then I get more messages asking why... impossible!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is a simple message then leads to a conversation as some won't take the hint.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

OP to echo others, some people get a lot of mail so not always possible. Sometimes the act of replying with a no simply encourages the sender too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should have said entitlement you're both right.

Apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm here to have fun not to do admin work.

I tried in the beginning to reply all messages but it just generates more & the end result is the same ~ I'm not interested.

Try not to dwell on it, it's nothing personal x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you do reply 'no thanks' 7/10 times you get abused for it .... Not worth it sorry if it offends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me or has the level of expectation increased over the years on this site?

Expectation or entitlement?"

entitlement yes

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

really?? you would prefer an inbox full of negativity? odd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me or has the level of expectation increased over the years on this site?

The level of entitlement seems to have."

yes, god I am taking over the thread by being polite.

Sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy... Wanna Meet

Me..... no thanks

Guy... why not

Me... not interested thanks

Guy.... but why not

It gets so tedious....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And "you stupid fucking stuck up bitch" or other such comments. You rarely get insulted when you don't reply. "

very true ...you're opening yourself up to a load of insults by answering no !!xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm here to have fun not to do admin work.

I tried in the beginning to reply all messages but it just generates more & the end result is the same ~ I'm not interested.

Try not to dwell on it, it's nothing personal x"

Yep, this!

Ps. Nice to see you again Roxi x

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By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

I've come to the conclusion that some people really aren't here for the swinging.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I reply to all guys who have read my profile. Those who don't spend time reading don't get my time in a response "

Good advice. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you reply "no thanks" nine times out of ten you get a reply asking why and then you're drawn into a conversation. Not replying saves everyone's time "

Agree!! I've politely replied to say no thanks etc, then get a "why not" or " oh well you must be fat etc abuse back "

Or the classic... " oh it's your loss "

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Surely a better mail system has got to be on the agenda for fab? E.g If a single fem with 100s of mails unread , how on earth can she find those she is actively having a conversation with among all the other stuff? Maybe a separate inbox just for replies to conversations and from friends?? And a reply 'no thanks' button that will block further messaging ? Probably been suggested before ??

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By *horley GirlWoman
over a year ago

Local-ish

I reply to all guys who have read my profile. Those who don't spend time reading don't get my time in a response "

I do try if it's clear profile has been read.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"Surely a better mail system has got to be on the agenda for fab? E.g If a single fem with 100s of mails unread , how on earth can she find those she is actively having a conversation with among all the other stuff? Maybe a separate inbox just for replies to conversations and from friends?? And a reply 'no thanks' button that will block further messaging ? Probably been suggested before ??"

Blocking works ... I use it on both my single profile and on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mrs usually replies with no thanks, but in the north west it's not that heavily populated with fab members so messages don't come thick and fast, few weeks back she went to London for business, she was only there for the day but logged in here while she was on her lunch break, she was only online for a few minutes but when she logged back on in the evening she had over 400 messages

So obviously overwhelmed by that amount, I message couples and women and if I don't get a response I assume they're not interested, yes you do wonder if they will reply in maybe a day or so but if they haven't then they're not interest.

People can be as polite as they want to be but if they're getting overwhelmed by messages, looking at profiles first before deciding to read the message and reply, will just take time they don't want to waste.

Just accept that not everyone will reply, don't dwell on the negatives of the site and focus on the positives.

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By *ay BrowerMan
over a year ago

Oldham

You're not alone OP. I think it's rude to not reply but it's the norm on here and as previously stated in the sites FAQs it states no reply = no thanks.

You just have to live with it and try not to take it too heart.

For the record I have never sent an abusive message to anyone who has kindly replied with a "thanks but no thanks", "you're not for me/us", "sorry you're not my type" etc message. That would be very rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Especially when the inbox only holds about 50 messages and older messages get deleted automatically. Cannot understand why we can't have a page system.

Even the other (crap) Irish swinging site has had this system for years

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

i just send a wink sometimes might take days for somebody to get back to me. Good things can happen to those who wait and patience is a virtue! seems a lot of single men on here have none!

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"If you reply "no thanks" nine times out of ten you get a reply asking why and then you're drawn into a conversation. Not replying saves everyone's time "

And/or get insulted. I'd rather just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

winks mass deleted and any message that's rude or just say's hi or how are you deleted

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you accept some people reply and some people don't you will enjoy the site better

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