FabSwingers.com forum: domestic arguments

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should you get involved with that. Was walking down my street lastnite when i heard a woman shouting and a dog barking and it started howling so i walked near the house. A man walked out upset. I asked if he was ok and he told me she drinks and starts bein nasty. I gave him advice and he thanked me. Did i do rite thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely you did

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I know a story about a spider and a fly who had a joyful day out, one of them came to a sticky end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think human nature tells us to check it out so that everybody is ok - trouble is you never can be sure what you might walk into

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By *otblondewife hornyMrCouple
over a year ago

Cambuslang

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy"

100% this. Mr here and I once got between a couple where the guy had his hands around Mrs neck. Got abuse from the pair of them and a black eye for my trouble

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By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

My dad told me never get involved in domestics and I don't! I've seen situations where the one helping has been turned on by both!

No good deed goes unpunished.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off."

Yep, I've witnessed that!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Should you get involved with that. Was walking down my street lastnite when i heard a woman shouting and a dog barking and it started howling so i walked near the house. A man walked out upset. I asked if he was ok and he told me she drinks and starts bein nasty. I gave him advice and he thanked me. Did i do rite thing?"

Do you feel you did the right thing? If yes then you did, it doesn't matter if we think you did or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never get involved in domestics, you could end up in hospital or dead yourself. If you feel someone's life is in danger, call the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad told me never get involved in domestics and I don't! I've seen situations where the one helping has been turned on by both!

No good deed goes unpunished."

This. In general.

Though I did look out the window once and saw a lad, a big lad at that, punching his girlfriend and her head was banging against the wall behind her from the punch. I thought to myself 'I'm not having that' and put some trainers on and ran out to where they were. The estate where I lived then was a bit of a maze, I ran up several streets looking for them but never found them. Just remembering it now gets me furious at what I saw, I'm the most peaceful lad you'll ever meet but I would have torn that twat apart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off."

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

You may well get slated by the woman but somewhere inside her she will appreciate the fact that someone helped. It will give her a glimmer of hope that she IS worthy of being liked - even though he tells her she's worthless.

Please don't be mad at her. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad told me never get involved in domestics and I don't! I've seen situations where the one helping has been turned on by both!

No good deed goes unpunished."

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"

Absolutely....abuse is complex

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

The "walk on by" mentality is the scourge of modern society.

Every situation is different and there are more ways to intervene than by jumping in between and soaking up the blows.

Getting told to fuck off by two people intent on damaging each other doesn't hurt and I'd rather thy than read the next day some poor woman (or man) had been seriously hurt worse and I had just walked by.

Way the situation up. If they are both giving as good as they get your probably not going to be any help but if someone is simply being battered a moments intervention could give the victim a chance get away or ask for help.

Yes, maybe one day I'll get a smack in the smack in the mouth for my trouble but taken as a whole, if rather just "do the right thing"

This is no slight on those who say they would not intervene, just my own stance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends what your advice was

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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Don't get involved anymore.

Years ago saw a bloke drag his GF out of the pub hit her, then started giving her a right beating in car park. Nobody moved so me and a mate went out to ask him to stop he started swinging four of his mates came out swinging and the girl was hitting my mate screaming leave him alone!!

Biggest copper I ever saw came heard the story send us home and dragged the boy friend off down an ally. I always hoped it was to give him a kicking but more likely was route to his car lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Coudnt respond to tony x pity that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My dad told me never get involved in domestics and I don't! I've seen situations where the one helping has been turned on by both!

No good deed goes unpunished.

This. In general.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"
think he was the abused

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If there just screaching at each other not a thing.

If one is being hit call the police.

As someone who regularly got thrashed in the street the worst was the flaming drama others caused causing downright embarresment. If you get involved just dont bloody go in guns blazing

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By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"

That's pretty much what I realised later. Why do women stay with men like that. Saying that, my ex/w punched me in the face three years before we eventually divorced. She did it to get me to hit her back so she could call the police and have me thrown out (I didn't hit her back, just held her arms to stop her doing it again) but I stayed for three more years of hell. Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are very brave. I agree with others, I would not get involved and would contact the police if I felt someone was in danger.

I guess you could assess the situation and felt safe but be careful X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Coudnt respond to tony x pity that "

Why not respond on forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"

Agreed!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

I don't know about anyone else but I stayed out of fear... And I always thought it might get better but it never did

in the end I engineered it so he was the one who went and once he had gone the evil spell was broken

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

If something's happening, or if you think something's going to happen it's always better to speak out and say something rather than nothing, imo.

Often the mere presence of an outsider can defuse or at least make the aggressor think twice before continuing their rage.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

"If something's happening, or if you think something's going to happen it's always better to speak out and say something rather than nothing, imo.

Often the mere presence of an outsider can defuse or at least make the aggressor think twice before continuing their rage. "

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

I don't know about anyone else but I stayed out of fear... And I always thought it might get better but it never did

in the end I engineered it so he was the one who went and once he had gone the evil spell was broken

"
i know (now) exactly why i got into the relationship and why i stayed. Because i went and found out why i managed to break the cycle and never was in an abusive relationship again. Bloody hard work sorting myself out

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I once started a domestic at a meet with a couple. It was all going swimmingly until I told the husband that if he wanted he could fuck me. He asked his wife who then said yes, if you want to, in a way that made it obvious that it was really a no. The atmosphere didn't half go down the pan after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once started a domestic at a meet with a couple. It was all going swimmingly until I told the husband that if he wanted he could fuck me. He asked his wife who then said yes, if you want to, in a way that made it obvious that it was really a no. The atmosphere didn't half go down the pan after that

I'd say you weren't the cause of that, I think the problem was they hadn't discussed fully what their limits were before the meet. In that instance if she felt uncomfortable with that she should have said so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy"

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"

There's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence and getting a restraining order against the boyfriend.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth."

On the blob again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

There's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence and getting a restraining order against the boyfriend."

They can get a non-molestation order from their local County Court.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

There's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence and getting a restraining order against the boyfriend."
no excuse but plenty of reasons. Unless you are in that particular relationship at the time you have no idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there.

Got involved.

Got turned on by both.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

taking it back to the original post,sounds like it was the guy being abused(common enough,but sadly not the same level of support)..well done to OP for being there when he needed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth."

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of trying to roast you as you obviously have no idea what you are talking about...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

There's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence and getting a restraining order against the boyfriend.no excuse but plenty of reasons. Unless you are in that particular relationship at the time you have no idea"

"no idea"?

No need for melodrama - of course I do - anyone would as it's a part of human nature and guess what?

I'm human - and a non-melodramatic one at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth.

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of trying to roast you as you obviously have no idea what you are talking about...

Likewise reference the melodrama - there's no need for it ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth.

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of trying to roast you as you obviously have no idea what you are talking about...

Likewise reference the melodrama - there's no need for it ok"

I don't do melodrama... I do fact, and unless you have been in such a relationship there is absolutely no point in commenting on it

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x

"no idea"?

No need for melodrama - of course I do - anyone would as it's a part of human nature and guess what?

I'm human - and a non-melodramatic one at that."
on this occassion i wont.even rise to.you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy

More often than not that is the ridiculous case.

Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM.

The typical seekers of the moral high ground on here can try to roast me for saying such a thing but I couldn't give sh*te because it's the truth.

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of trying to roast you as you obviously have no idea what you are talking about...

Likewise reference the melodrama - there's no need for it ok

I don't do melodrama... I do fact, and unless you have been in such a relationship there is absolutely no point in commenting on it"

This is a public forum - so you don't have any right to dictate who does and does not take part in it because by attempting to boss people around the only thing you're going to do is disrupt it

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By *iggy1Woman
over a year ago

DORCHESTER

It seems that a few of the posts on here have a distorted view of why women or men stay in obusive relationships... Just think of this, over 70% of women who find themselves in refuges would of been either physically, mentally or sexually abused as a child... So how does that woman have the mental capacity to say no if it's always been there?

It's human nature to go with what you know if all you've known is disfunction you will subconscily go looking for it, until the time comes that you realise your worth more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems that a few of the posts on here have a distorted view of why women or men stay in obusive relationships... Just think of this, over 70% of women who find themselves in refuges would of been either physically, mentally or sexually abused as a child... So how does that woman have the mental capacity to say no if it's always been there?

It's human nature to go with what you know if all you've known is disfunction you will subconscily go looking for it, until the time comes that you realise your worth more."

It's about the abuser stripping every shred of confidence, self esteem and independence systematically from you. So you don't have the emotional strength to leave. To be on your own can be terrifying when you're in that state.

And they promise they will never do it again, and shower you with affection and you think they've really changed.

And the cycle of abuse continues.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

It's human nature to go with what you know if all you've known is disfunction you will subconscily go looking for it, until the time comes that you realise your worth more."
that is the exact reason for me or quite simply it was my comfortzone. I didnt even know domestic abuse wasnt normal. I then went and learnt about it and through hard work i broke the cycle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that"

If you 'expect' civility and maturity shown toward you, maybe try being civil toward others. Blaming the victim of domestic abuse isn't an opinion. It's downright offensive. Blaming the victim of a crime is 'idiotic'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful."

"disgraceful"?

It's disgraceful for a woman to assault someone trying to help them after they have been assaulted by their partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive seen it a few times in my line of work

guy starts beating up his gf, another guy jumps in and tries to stop him, before he knows it hes getting attacked by them both

best thing you can do is go over and engage them verbally to cause a distraction. they`ll usually both tell you to F off then, and move on

this works for the d*unk couples fighting mostly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant sit back doing nothing while a woman's being beaten up though

if its a FULL on assualt taking place you need to immobilize the guy as quick as you can and then prepare yourself for the beating his GF`s about to give you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people."

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marc and I and a few friends saw a domestic assault taking place on the street late one night (this was in the US). The guy was beating up his girlfriend, she was on the ground crying. So Marc and the other guys went down to help her. They fought off the guy, who was very d*unk and had a knife, while me and another onlooker called the cops.

When the cops showed up we found out she was his wife, not his girlfriend, and she refused to say he was beating her, so the cops couldn't take him in. But during the fight the guy had stabbed Marc in the arm with the knife so they were able to take him in overnight on that (although Marc declined to press further charges). We just wanted him locked up while he was d*unk so he wouldn't hit his wife anymore. We think she was too afraid of the consequences to tell the cops what was really happening

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

It's disgraceful for a woman to assault someone trying to help them after they have been assaulted by their partner."
your paragraph refering to some women being brain dead was not only disgraceful but sad and incompehensable that someone would have that attitude.

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I wasnt going to reply to you again, your reputation for stirring things up comes before you. Sometimes its funny but someone who seems more concerned about whether someone called them stupid or not and not looking at what they said tells me all i need to know. It was low. Very low

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a non molestation order against my ex...and that was on the same day, in the same court but different floors that he was sentenced to 6 months for drink driving/driving whilst disqualified... which I engineered in order to get him out of my house and away from me and my son..the housing association were with me on it and day after he was put away they came around and changed the locks....turned out I was I lot stronger than HE thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive. "

Needless to say - if they don't initially abide by a restraining order against then then the police it naturally works against them for being stupid enough not to learn from their mistakes because the police are then able to build a stronger case against them.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

e."

No, you just called them brain dead.

I have no experiences of abuse, thankfully, but from what I have read and listened to, it really isn't as simple as you make out

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Going back to the OP....it would depend for me on the circumstances as I would imagine most couples would tell you to sod off if I got involved, but I did drive past a couple who were arguing once and he kept dragging her arm, so I stopped and asked did she want me to drop her anywhere....but I only asked as I had the engine running and could leg it if needed

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok lets stopping calling/implying people are idiots/fools/trolls when they are having their say.

Be civil please

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

It's disgraceful for a woman to assault someone trying to help them after they have been assaulted by their partner.your paragraph refering to some women being brain dead was not only disgraceful but sad and incompehensable that someone would have that attitude.

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I'm stirring nothing - I know exactly what I said - I said if someone stays with someone else that abuses them then shame on them.

The right thing to do is not stay with them - the right thing to do is go straight to the police and report them.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I'm stirring nothing - I know exactly what I said - I said if someone stays with someone else that abuses them then shame on them.

The right thing to do is not stay with them - the right thing to do is go straight to the police and report them."

But it's not always that easy is it, fear of a person can have a big hold over someone and we have all heard of the mind games some guys and women can use to control they partner

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I'm stirring nothing - I know exactly what I said - I said if someone stays with someone else that abuses them then shame on them.

The right thing to do is not stay with them - the right thing to do is go straight to the police and report them."
no you bloody well didnt, you know that and i know.that and everyone thats read the thread knows you didnt.

Or if thats what you " think" you said reread the paragraph where you mention brain dead

Absolutly no idea what you said have you

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim."

As someone who works with victims of domestic abuse I find your comments discusting and ill informed. Those 'stupid' women you are condemning all have their own stories and reasons for staying within the toxic environment. Complex, and with multiple issues, those ladies go through hell before coming to the brave decision to leave (often returning again and again).

Stupid is not a word to describe those women. Brave, courageous and survivors are words that you may want to look up, as I doubt anyone without an ounce of compassion for any victim of domestic abuse would understand this issue on any level.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/06/16 14:18:46]

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I'm stirring nothing - I know exactly what I said - I said if someone stays with someone else that abuses them then shame on them.

The right thing to do is not stay with them - the right thing to do is go straight to the police and report them."

your exact wording was 'Some women when in abusive relationships are literally fucking brain dead - hence them remaining in in abusive relationships and defending their men EVEN AFTER BEING ASSAULTED BY THEM....' now it has already been pointed out to you that to say this is highly offensive but as you stand by it, it says a lot more about you than it ever would about victims of domestic abuse...

as I stated in an earlier post, I got out on my terms but it took me a long time to realise that I needed to get out...we are not brain dead, mostly we are brainwashed and that is a completely different set of circumstances

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever come across a couple fighting man hits the woman if you break it up/touch the guy you're about 10 seconds away from getting blindsided by the woman and now you're 5he bad guy"

That's true

I went to friends of mine once and I could hear him hitting her from outside the door,i knocked on the door, no reply but it went quiet, couldn't get a reply so I called the police, when they came she didn't want to press charges so they left and I was told by the women to mind my own business

The thing is even though we know its got bugger all to do with us I personally find it very hard to walk away from somebody being physically abused and say/do nothing

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off."

I sometimes wonder if the women tell you to leave it alone because she's scared of the back lash from him for you stepping in rather than being ungrateful

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find your insistence that you are always right in some threads amusing. I always assume you are being provocative not because you're an idiot but because you enjoy winding people up.

However, blaming an abused person for their predicament isn't in any way amusing.

Would you say a rape victim deserves it because of the length her skirt? Or a child thats told to keep quiet?

Im sorry, but your statements are disgraceful.

"disgraceful"?

You have no awareness of what you said. What impact that way of thinking could have on someone.

I'm stirring nothing - I know exactly what I said - I said if someone stays with someone else that abuses them then shame on them.

The right thing to do is not stay with them - the right thing to do is go straight to the police and report them."

As someone once sang "What a wonderful world that would be". Simple, black & white, right and wrong. No room for manipulation, lies and deceit. Instant, protective justice for the abused. No bail, no cautions - straight to prison. Change of identity and relocation for the abused. Brilliant. And all you have to do is tell the Police.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me too. The guy was beating up on his partner so I stepped in and SHE told me to fuck off.

Is response to everyone saying similar to this-

She HAS to stick up for her man out of fear he will beat the shit out of her even worse later on. Abuse victims walk on eggshells all the time. Any little thing can make their abuser mad.

Please don't be mad at her. x"

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a no brainer for me, verbal call the police, violence restrain the guy and call the police. If the woman wants to give me a crack then fine, if the guy does I'll defend myself. I couldn't simply walk past if I saw a man hitting a woman

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim."

Your position on abuse is completely naive and immature. No one chooses to be abused, some people don't feel like reporting it as a crime is an option or that they feel like they deserve the abuse due to conditioning.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

I think your short sightedness here is from lack of information, perhaps you ought to look into it and read some case studies, instead of relying on the story of a d*unk girl saying "fuck off". There's more to domestic abuse than just alcohol fuelled arguments, but once you get a well rounded view your ill informed position will most likely change.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So in answer to everone - it may not be as simple as going to the police but that doesn't mean it can't be as simple as going straight to them if someone assaults you even once.

In principal - if someone hits you - even once - just report them.

And yes - I said "some women are in abusive relationships are literally fucking braindead" because the intelligent thing to do is to get out of it as soon as it starts.

It's not rocket science.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

Many victims of abuse don't report their abuse because they are scared of the backlash for doing so

So they go to the police, the police pull the abuser in, question him, let him go and the abuser goes and kicks the shit out of the victim for reporting him

Anybody who believes that going to the police will stop abuse does not live in the real world

Even having a restraining order does not stop some people, they can be ignored

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

As I said already, the intelligent thing to do is to phone the police because it's their job to help in such situations.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to be honest i doubt anyone who views abuse victims.as brain dead will change their view"

Maybe. It's a shame that someone would choose to remain misinformed though.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!"

No it doesn't. It takes much more as an investigation has to take place, statements have to be taken. The police aren't there to mediate and solve the situation. You're also assuming an abused person has access to a phone to make a call.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"So in answer to everone - it may not be as simple as going to the police but that doesn't mean it can't be as simple as going straight to them if someone assaults you even once.

In principal - if someone hits you - even once - just report them.

And yes - I said "some women are in abusive relationships are literally fucking braindead" because the intelligent thing to do is to get out of it as soon as it starts.

It's not rocket science.

"
no, if you was as intelligent as you make out you will know abuse doesnt start with physical violence its usually way before. For someone who doesnt have a clue i would recommend watching "killed by my boyfriend" but hey you want to call women braindead, make them believe its their own fault and make them feel even more worthless then go ahead. Oh sorry you already have

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/06/16 15:01:01]

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The police don't always help, my daugher moved in with a guy a couple of years ago, she left him and moved back home because he hit her, he used to follow her about everywhere after she left him, follow her to work and sit outside her place of work, she couldn't go out because if she went to the pub with her friends he'd be sat watching her, she came home on night after going out because he had been harassing her in the pub, followed her home and he was sat outside my house, we ignored him but he didn't go so I called the police

When the police came out she told them about what had happened, that he had been following her around the pubs so she came home and the police said, and I swear this is true, why didn't you come home straight away by staying out knowing he's following you could be giving him the wrong signs

Then when I asked them to move him from outside my house I was told he wasn't breaking any law, the street is a public place and so long as he don't come o to my garden he can stay there as long as he wants, and they went and left him sat outside watching my house

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

From your line of reasoning it seems you're assuming it's impossible for an abused person to ever come in contact with a phone to make a call - it's as near to impossible as it's possible to be for anyone in 2016 to be without access to least one phone anywhere in their life so as far as I'm concered you're just nitpicking for the sake of it.

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are just nitpicking now

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

those in long term abusive relationships will have been conditioned to accept it

conditioned through a ton of psychological abuse. which can be wayyy more damaging than the physical stuff

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Hello? Is that the police?

Yes, well there's a very grumpy man in the thread... yes, I think he's armed... no, I don;t think he's dangerous but he's never in a good mood... He always seems to want to start an argument...

What's that...? Oh, Ok, will do..."

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

*nails up a sign*

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call."

You're hugely misinformed regarding abuse. Highlighting the errors in your poor thinking is not nitpicking, it's identifying why you're wrong. Your lack of empathy for victims is astounding, you appear to be a callous and immature person, but luckily you can change that by learning why you're wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"those in long term abusive relationships will have been conditioned to accept it

conditioned through a ton of psychological abuse. which can be wayyy more damaging than the physical stuff

When I tried to leave my husband he burnt all my clothes I had nothing, I had to walk round the house naked for months

I couldn't leave him because it would mean walking down my street naked so I as stuck

And I wasnt allowed a mobile so I couldn't call anybody

Sometimes leaving a relationship isnt that easy

I did it in the end but it took me a lot of years to get out

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"those in long term abusive relationships will have been conditioned to accept it

conditioned through a ton of psychological abuse. which can be wayyy more damaging than the physical stuff

When I tried to leave my husband he burnt all my clothes I had nothing, I had to walk round the house naked for months

I couldn't leave him because it would mean walking down my street naked so I as stuck

And I wasnt allowed a mobile so I couldn't call anybody

Sometimes leaving a relationship isnt that easy

I did it in the end but it took me a lot of years to get out "

You sound like such a strong person.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"those in long term abusive relationships will have been conditioned to accept it

conditioned through a ton of psychological abuse. which can be wayyy more damaging than the physical stuff

When I tried to leave my husband he burnt all my clothes I had nothing, I had to walk round the house naked for months

I couldn't leave him because it would mean walking down my street naked so I as stuck

And I wasnt allowed a mobile so I couldn't call anybody

Sometimes leaving a relationship isnt that easy

I did it in the end but it took me a lot of years to get out

You sound like such a strong person.

Nah just a twat

but I do live in the real world and I know life isn't black and white

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call.

What is actually wrong with you!

I stated the fact that it CAN be as simple as one phonecall and you accuse me of being a "callous and immature person"?

Because IT CAN BE.

You're being completely unfair!

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call."

nitpicking!!! unfeckeingbelievable

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"those in long term abusive relationships will have been conditioned to accept it

conditioned through a ton of psychological abuse. which can be wayyy more damaging than the physical stuff

When I tried to leave my husband he burnt all my clothes I had nothing, I had to walk round the house naked for months

I couldn't leave him because it would mean walking down my street naked so I as stuck

And I wasnt allowed a mobile so I couldn't call anybody

Sometimes leaving a relationship isnt that easy

I did it in the end but it took me a lot of years to get out "

cant believe some people

glad you got away from him in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call.

What is actually wrong with you!

I stated the fact that it CAN be as simple as one phonecall and you accuse me of being a "callous and immature person"?

Because IT CAN BE.

You're being completely unfair! "

Reasons why you're callous and immature:

You called female victims fucking brain dead.

You assume the police will save a victim after just one phone call.

You assume there will be no repercussions after one phone call.

You assume protective/restraining orders are handed out freely.

You assume the victim is emotionally able to stand up to their abuser.

You assume the victim is to blame for their part in being abused.

You assume the victim has freedom to do whatever it takes to stand up to the abuser.

You've repeatedly said "it takes one phone call" when not all victims have access to a phone or the outside world.

You won't acknowledge your erroneous thinking and accuse people of nitpicking for identifying why you're blatantly wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fear is an efficient barrier it will hold a person stronger than any wall

People forget that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

and the answer to the original question is???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect people to be more civil/mature than that

I said that there's no excuse for not going to the police with the evidence to get a restraining order - I never said not doing so is "idiotic".

The law is on the side of the victims - if someone physically or mentally/emotionally abused they should go to the police.

That's why they are there - they're there to help people.

It's ignorant to think ROs are just handed out, and that the victim won't experience repercussions of reporting the crime, and that just contacting the police guarantees protection from an abuser.

Also, your expectation of an abuser adhering to an RO seems naive.

So the first step is always to go to the police as soon as you have evidence that you have been mistreated.

So as I said already - there's no excuse for not going to the police when you have the evidence because once you do so you begin the process of ending the cycle of abuse.

So as I said - the police are there to help and they will if you are a victim.

Evidence isn't always available. How do you suggest an abused person who is completely cut off from the outside world records their abuse?

It takes one phonecall to phone the police!

Ring the police to report the crime and you begin the end of the cycle of abuse - it takes just one phone call.

What is actually wrong with you!

I stated the fact that it CAN be as simple as one phonecall and you accuse me of being a "callous and immature person"?

Because IT CAN BE.

You're being completely unfair!

Reasons why you're callous and immature:

You called female victims fucking brain dead.

You assume the police will save a victim after just one phone call.

You assume there will be no repercussions after one phone call.

You assume protective/restraining orders are handed out freely.

You assume the victim is emotionally able to stand up to their abuser.

You assume the victim is to blame for their part in being abused.

You assume the victim has freedom to do whatever it takes to stand up to the abuser.

You've repeatedly said "it takes one phone call" when not all victims have access to a phone or the outside world.

You won't acknowledge your erroneous thinking and accuse people of nitpicking for identifying why you're blatantly wrong. "

You said - Reasons why you're callous and immature:

1. "You called female victims fucking brain dead."

That doesn't mean I said ALL victims are - I never said that so I clearly don't think ALL victims are. I said already the obvious - which is that the smart thing to do is to call the police to begin the process of breaking the cycle of abuse so the opposite of that is that it's stupid not to - hence those that don't do so are "brain dead" - strong wording of course but I mean to say that it's stupid not to try to get out of the situation as it's NOT impossible to do so.

2. "You assume the police will save a victim after just one phone call."

No I do not assume such a thing, but they "could" do so after one phone call so clearly they are capable of doing so.

3. "You assume there will be no repercussions after one phone call"

Eh, no I don't!

4. "You assume protective/restraining orders are handed out freely."

Again, no I don't! It's just easier for your nitpickng to say I mean that when I clearly don't.

5. "You assume the victim is emotionally able to stand up to their abuser."

Again, no I don't but it would clearly help the situation if they were.

6. "You assume the victim is to blame for their part in being abused."

Truth be told - if they don't do ANYTHING to help themselves then they are partially responsible for it continuing to happen - the same is true for anyone that knows of abuse and does nothing to stop it. FACT.

7. "You assume the victim has freedom to do whatever it takes to stand up to the abuser."

Again, no I don't because nobody is without any options in life - at the very least they could make at least one phone call to the police even if they don't have their own phone because as I said ealier - nobody is at all times without access to at least one phone.

8. "You've repeatedly said "it takes one phone call" when not all victims have access to a phone or the outside world."

Even Elisabeth Fritzl broke the cycle after 20 something years WITHOUT ACCESS TO A PHONE after being buried in the ground. So unless completely you are locked up without access to anyone, ever, in a completely secure automated environment that will take care of all your life long needs by permanently cutting you off from all human contact then it clearly isn't impossible to do SOMETHING to help yourself.

9. "You won't acknowledge your erroneous thinking and accuse people of nitpicking for identifying why you're blatantly wrong."

I honeslty think you're just nitpicking by wording your posts to make it appear that I'm saying, or meaning to say, things that I'm clearly not saying - so as I've just made clear here - I'm blatantly not wrong.