FabSwingers.com forum: emotionally fragile or something like that

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ok this is me being serious for once - we all got history and shit thats gone on in the past and coping or not we are still here - in the big picture im all good but recently ive been in a situation that has stirred up so many old feelings that i felt - shit it wouldnt take much to break me again - basically in my job i work with dementia, brain injury and challenging behaviour/emi - i was put onto a new unit with just 2 residents - both challenging behaviour - one has brain injury and one is emi - me - i want to try everything and they were asking which staff wanted to work there so i have a go - i gave it 6 weeks the last week of which i really worried for my mental health - its sorted now - one chat with the boss and im away from it - but i didnt want to fail them or myself so hoped id work through it and manage to deal with the effects - pretty much what i do all the time- put up with home stuff for way too many years - slightly different circumstances but the feelings were the same -

just saying its scary to think yeah ive come through all that and im tough now and in such a small space of time to be taken back over 10 years - shocked me a little

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive just been going through a period that although so much better could of tipped me over the edge. I knew this might happen i spoke to my nurse i voluntered to go back on the at risk register and my external tools where put back in place. I did slightly start to go but managed to recognize it and nip it in the bud quickly.

You gave it a go ( i think what you described would have been challenging to anyone) you spoke to your boss and delt with it.

We all have things that make us emotionally fragile. Xxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Read your last paragraph you havent failed at anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

the part i know im stronger is like you just said - i saw what was happening to me and did something about it- years ago i wasnt so self aware and cracked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to give yourself more credit.

You had the strength to ask for help, and the self awareness to know you were struggling a little x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Tberes something in my life that im completly over, doesnt affect me at all. Its over 25 years ago and something bought it all back and i was ahocked that i still had any emotional connection to it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you need to give yourself more credit.

You had the strength to ask for help, and the self awareness to know you were struggling a little x"

i do - just scared me that it took such a short time and relatively little thing to drop me down - im back up there now no worries - a bit battered but all good

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"the part i know im stronger is like you just said - i saw what was happening to me and did something about it- years ago i wasnt so self aware and cracked "
and there you go that is proof how far you have come. In fact how much more proof.

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By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

OP, you are the sum total of all your experiences, good and bad, and it has made you stronger even if you don't realise it. 10 years ago you may not have recognised the symptoms but this time you did and you acted. That is a strength.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"the part i know im stronger is like you just said - i saw what was happening to me and did something about it- years ago i wasnt so self aware and cracked and there you go that is proof how far you have come. In fact how much more proof."

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Battered but back

Now resilient and self aware to take steps to look after yourself when necessary. Lesson I am learning is you can't care for others if you don't look after yourself in good time.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I think everyone has some emotional fragility somewhere, people just guard it more or less that the next man. But whenever something remains undealt with, it is a potential time bomb waiting for certain circumstances or triggers to arise.

I choose the trail less travelled which is to remain open, and sure that makes me more vulnerable, but I believe to shut down emotion is to live only half a life.

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By *verage JosephMan
over a year ago

Grays & London

I've been through some shit at home & in work, and I did try to just get on with life!.. But it did & does catch up.

I know it's not a manly & macho thing to say but I have & would use a counsellor again.

Life can be difficult but make the most of it, enjoy what you can coz its over way too quickly!... (Shit I'm getting deep today)

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By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands

Life's a learning curve

We always learning at whatever age

Lots of life session

Are hard and make whom we are

Sometimes we stop and give up for a while

Own experience .then get our fight back and become stronger and win

It may take time

But we do it

Not everyone out our safe house are like us

If we were all the same ong this world would be boring

Just take each other as it comes

And go forth and crack it xx

Love and hugs hun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok this is me being serious for once - we all got history and shit thats gone on in the past and coping or not we are still here - in the big picture im all good but recently ive been in a situation that has stirred up so many old feelings that i felt - shit it wouldnt take much to break me again - basically in my job i work with dementia, brain injury and challenging behaviour/emi - i was put onto a new unit with just 2 residents - both challenging behaviour - one has brain injury and one is emi - me - i want to try everything and they were asking which staff wanted to work there so i have a go - i gave it 6 weeks the last week of which i really worried for my mental health - its sorted now - one chat with the boss and im away from it - but i didnt want to fail them or myself so hoped id work through it and manage to deal with the effects - pretty much what i do all the time- put up with home stuff for way too many years - slightly different circumstances but the feelings were the same -

just saying its scary to think yeah ive come through all that and im tough now and in such a small space of time to be taken back over 10 years - shocked me a little"

I completely understand what you mean. I can go from being completely fine to a anxious nervous wreck when I see or hear something which takes me back to certain moments of my life.

It's horrible, there are a lot of things I wish I could just erase from my memory so I can get on with life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been through some shit at home & in work, and I did try to just get on with life!.. But it did & does catch up.

I know it's not a manly & macho thing to say but I have & would use a counsellor again.

Life can be difficult but make the most of it, enjoy what you can coz its over way too quickly!... (Shit I'm getting deep today)"

no shame in seeing a councellor - i did - and for good note anybody working in retail - the retail trust will pay for your councelling - dr and employer recommend you if i recall correctly -

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By *verage JosephMan
over a year ago

Grays & London

You'd be surprised how much is said to a man who done this! In my job some people look down on it as a weakness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been through some shit at home & in work, and I did try to just get on with life!.. But it did & does catch up.

I know it's not a manly & macho thing to say but I have & would use a counsellor again.

Life can be difficult but make the most of it, enjoy what you can coz its over way too quickly!... (Shit I'm getting deep today)"

This is in no way a criticism of your post but it says so much about the stigma around mental health that people feel a need to justify seeking help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tried the new role and gave it a go, that took strength in itself. You recognised in yourself that it was affecting your own well-being, that shows you are in a better place.

I had something happen to me over a decade ago, that certain physical items remind me of it. For a split second I'm back in that place and scared, but then my brain kicks back in to say, no that's not now. The difference is you can see it and recognise it. It took me a while to stop being scared.

You spoke to your manager and did what was best for both you and those you were looking after. All signs of strength in my eyes.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been through some shit at home & in work, and I did try to just get on with life!.. But it did & does catch up.

I know it's not a manly & macho thing to say but I have & would use a counsellor again.

Life can be difficult but make the most of it, enjoy what you can coz its over way too quickly!... (Shit I'm getting deep today)

This is in no way a criticism of your post but it says so much about the stigma around mental health that people feel a need to justify seeking help"

Sounds like you're stronger than you think OP. See it as a positive thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You tried the new role and gave it a go, that took strength in itself. You recognised in yourself that it was affecting your own well-being, that shows you are in a better place.

This! So much this!! Xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Even the most strongest of people get down....you reconised it and dealt with it..I'm going through a bit of a downer at the moment I'll be ok in a few weeks just got to take stock and deal with it...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We may get older and wiser, heal a fair bit along the way - but we are who we are. Our cuts and losses are still around and intense ongoing assaults to our psyche have to have an effect.

Ideally op you would have had a lot of psychological support/therapy as you worked through those weeks.

There are no medals for being tough but they exist for you taking care of yourself and others. You had golden ideals behind your working with those clients. That's lovely!

We're a bit like the planets orbiting the sun. Sometimes something like Mars comes close to our orbit again and we see it up close. Its orbit takes it away again and we kind of forget that Mars was close.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read your last paragraph you havent failed at anything"

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