FabSwingers.com forum: What's so good about BDSM?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

Mainly about the mental connection between the two people involved for really good, intimate, sensual scenes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

I couldn't possibly say because If I told you I'd have to tie you up and spank you...sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no interest in things like that or have any kinks either that I can think of?

Just good old fashioned one on one sex with someone I connect with is enough for me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Serious reply now.

I think like any good and enjoyable experience it involves all the senses, anticipation and the mind. Good sex of any description does this anyway I don't see BDSM as in any way better than any other sexual experience just one option in the whole array of possibilities.

Now...where did I put that rope?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I know it's in no way indicative of all kinksters but many of the more hardened bdsmers are the least sexual people I know

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Our brand of bdsm is sexual. I did a bit of tying up as a demo with a woman who asked. It was a strange but erotic. Telling her what I was going to do to her. "Now the crotch rope" and "I'm going to Bend you over and spank you"

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By *ilthyjackcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"Serious reply now.

Now...where did I put that rope?"

This.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Serious reply now.

Now...where did I put that rope?"

Anticipation.

I didn't mean to infer it was better, sorry if I did. I'm just wondering what the differences are.. and what turns people on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know it's in no way indicative of all kinksters but many of the more hardened bdsmers are the least sexual people I know"

I like that.

e.g. Cake is enjoyable but not sexual. It's just a different kind of enjoyment.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

The anticipation is intoxicating

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Serious reply now.

Now...where did I put that rope?"

anticipation was the word I was thinking too.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

The controlling of someones sexuality and the process of how to achieve that...

Major turn on for me.

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By *roncoverssereneCouple
over a year ago

NearYouVille

It's like anything, if you experience it and like it, you will do it again.

Trust is a key issue, so to is finding the right person to experiment with or be guided by. For the dynamics to be just so, you need to ask lots of questions, of a lot of people, so as not fall in the cracks and get crushed. In all personal situations, its always is about the power exchange, or TPE.

So enjoy the thrill, take the red pill.

Hope this helps

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

"
it is less about sex I find I love it having some one to look after care for and make happy knowing that she cares for me as much as I care for her there for making me want to do better and better as a Dom or sub

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Out bdsm/kink play is definitely sexual. It acts as a kind of foreplay.

For me as a submissive it's the trust involved in giving up control of the scene and knowing you'll be ok.

After last nights event my legs are still weak and I doubt any watchers would be in any doubt it was sexual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's more about the exploration and finding out more about the other person for me.

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By *tevie1Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

It's many things anticipation control of organism and the line between pleasure and pain

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have no interest in things like that or have any kinks either that I can think of?

Just good old fashioned one on one sex with someone I connect with is enough for me."
dont be silly this fabswingers everyone has to have a kink and be put in a box

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I know it's in no way indicative of all kinksters but many of the more hardened bdsmers are the least sexual people I know

I like that.

e.g. Cake is enjoyable but not sexual. It's just a different kind of enjoyment. "

It depends how you eat the cake

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Serious reply now.

Now...where did I put that rope?

Anticipation.

I didn't mean to infer it was better, sorry if I did. I'm just wondering what the differences are.. and what turns people on.

No, I know you didn't but loads of people do. Some people in to BDSM have an incredibly superior and exclusive attitude for instance if you ask a question their response will be "if you don't know you shouldn't be involved".

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Serious reply now.

Now...where did I put that rope?

Anticipation.

I didn't mean to infer it was better, sorry if I did. I'm just wondering what the differences are.. and what turns people on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no interest in things like that or have any kinks either that I can think of?

Just good old fashioned one on one sex with someone I connect with is enough for me.dont be silly this fabswingers everyone has to have a kink and be put in a box"

Boring arnt I

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By *ovely kinkyCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

I couldn't possibly say because If I told you I'd have to tie you up and spank you...sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fascinated by the human body, and it's reaction to pleasure/pain, I also love the notion of freedom found within submission, everybody reacts differently to different levels of pain and pleasure the emotions that are bought out by bdsm can't be faked like an orgasmm

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I'm fascinated by the human body, and it's reaction to pleasure/pain, I also love the notion of freedom found within submission, everybody reacts differently to different levels of pain and pleasure the emotions that are bought out by bdsm can't be faked like an orgasmm"
how.do you fake an orgasm?/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, when I'm tied up I like the fact that I can't move and can then submit myself to the pain of bloggers, paddles etc which turns me on big style, the pain becomes pleasure and I get a big head rush from it.

Starting to get more into electric play as well, violet wands whilst restrained make my body shiver, and I have seen some fantastic displays using other electric. Not sure I'm at the stage for being tied with conductive rope but that is something I definitely want to try, it looks seriously erotic with the sparks flying off the body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy it because you gives you chance to get the person very well its not wham bham. The trust also plays and important part and i like the feeling that someone trusts me enough and feels safe with me to explore and experiment and vice versa i feel it has a deeper connection thats just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know, I've never seen one faked first hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know, I've never seen one faked first hand

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

In regards to sex/kink thing, I'm a swinger and a Domme. I love both equally and frequently mix them up in my private life (but not with clients).

I enjoyed bossing around and sitting on boys until they whimpered in submission since I was tiny. I've always got a kick out if it. It turns me on to have someone at my mercy, gives me a rush to have my orders followed and smacking an arse till it's bruised is frickin amazing.

Yet I also love the sensual and tender side. Whispering in someones ear, stroking their hair and watching them melt is adorable.

Yes it's largely cerebral, the power play. Pushing and playing with limits, seeing how far the body and mind can go.

Always think being open to experimenting and exploring is important. There's still so much I've not done in my 16 years as a kinkster.

Ooh look, an anal bondage hook has just been posted through my letter box

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"In regards to sex/kink thing, I'm a swinger and a Domme. I love both equally and frequently mix them up in my private life (but not with clients).

Yet I also love the sensual and tender side. Whispering in someones ear, stroking their hair and watching them melt is adorable.

Yes it's largely cerebral, the power play. Pushing and playing with limits, seeing how far the body and mind can go.

Always think being open to experimenting and exploring is important. There's still so much I've not done in my 16 years as a kinkster.

Ooh look, an anal bondage hook has just been posted through my letter box

I get mine from the meat packing plant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is brilliant...you can convey so much with looks, small phrases and something PVC and leather... I am dom and love the scene....and no demands for sex too!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't know, I've never seen one faked first hand

"
so if the way i have sex means i cant fake an orgasm that means im automically in the bdsm box and im into pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grrrr to all the answers so far. I love the mind games that come with bdsm. Ruining the mind as well as the body. Yeah I like to tease and please, then hurt and be mean, then tickle and blow tummy raspberries, then choke and spank whilst my partner is tied up or restrained or whilst I'm inside her. Pushing her to the edge of emotional torment as well as stimulating her body with pain and pleasure is the best.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Rope, rope is whats so good about bdsm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rope, rope is whats so good about bdsm

No it's knot..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i need mental stimulation from anyone who wants to remain in my life. that's why i won't do anything S&M with randoms.

i've been in relationships with 2 submissive guys and really enjoyed that. i'm very independent and not really equal relationship material and a guy who tried to control me would be really off putting. i'm give and take obviously and not just take but if a guy had a dominant personality i really wouldn't want to be with him as i've tried this and hated it.

you're right it's not about the sex though. sex is just an animalistic need that can be fulfilled by anyone you find attractive. S&M is more mentally interesting and i just click best with guys who are submissive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BDSM for me is about experimenting diffrent sensation, types of play .

My favourite is Electoplay, love the neon wand .

Also it's about loosing yourself & reaching something called sub space that can be euphoric & amazing .

But whatever goes up must come down unfortunately so after the euphoria is over I sometimes get sub drop the first time I ever had it , it was bad I felt like I had been hit by a bus .

But I have learnt what I need in the moments after an intense play session to help me drop steadily & safely.

And I only play like this with someone I trust & knows me well .

Kinky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...

I totally get that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's about letting someone else take control, although having said that Mr often says that it is my imagination that fires up a lot of what we do. I like the build up, the anticipation, the way you can mix it up. It doesn't have to all be about pain but if you are in that kind of mood it can be. It can be so sensual other times. For some it's not about pain at all. It's trust as well and experimentation. Something may work or it might not. I just enjoy it as you can tell.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

Not my cup of tea, but lot's think it's belting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know, I've never seen one faked first hand

so if the way i have sex means i cant fake an orgasm that means im automically in the bdsm box and im into pleasure "

I don't think anyone is automatically in the bdsm box, if you like it you do, if you don't you dont

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

I don't know, I've never seen one faked first hand

so if the way i have sex means i cant fake an orgasm that means im automically in the bdsm box and im into pleasure

I don't think anyone is automatically in the bdsm box, if you like it you do, if you don't you dont"

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By *addyandbabyCouple
over a year ago

Bideford

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

It gets my heart racing, makes my cunt twitch and gives me bigger more intense orgasms. that's the simple answer. Pm me if you want more detailed answers to more detailed questions

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

it unlocks my feminine, it puts me in a position where i allow myself to receive, its mentally freeing and for me it is sexual...

no spanky, if i dont get hanky panky

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

It gets my heart racing, makes my cunt twitch and gives me bigger more intense orgasms. that's the simple answer. Pm me if you want more detailed answers to more detailed questions"

Yeahhh that describes it for me too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very... "

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

In my experience it was like having an orgasm but it was a head rush rather than your usual orgasm, could be sustained for a lot longer and play could last for hours.

There was still a lot of physical contact. There was a lot of self discovery too. I like being sub as I make the decisions 24/7 in my every day life for me and my kids and this allows me to switch off. I'm still in control as all play stops with the safe word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

There is no such thing as simple when it comes to Bdsm. That's about as simple as it gets lol

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

BDSM is the OCD of sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM is the OCD of sex..."

Oh right

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

There is no such thing as simple when it comes to Bdsm. That's about as simple as it gets lol"

its as unique as the relationship you are in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

There is no such thing as simple when it comes to Bdsm. That's about as simple as it gets lol

its as unique as the relationship you are in"

And there squats the toad of truth

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

There is no such thing as simple when it comes to Bdsm. That's about as simple as it gets lol

its as unique as the relationship you are in

And there squats the toad of truth

"
?? so want a toad emoji right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In simple terms BDSM type activities appear to be more about the mind than the physical. Many people say there's no actual sex involved.

So why is it so good? I want to understand why you enjoy it.

The answer to your question is that there is no answer.. its just one of those things, it's marmite. And as for the no sex, that's total rubbish. For some it's non sexual for others it's very...

Thanks but I meant for many people there's no sex involved, not that none do. Total rubbish.

There is no such thing as simple when it comes to Bdsm. That's about as simple as it gets lol

its as unique as the relationship you are in

And there squats the toad of truth

?? so want a toad emoji right now

Croak

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In my experience it was like having an orgasm but it was a head rush rather than your usual orgasm, could be sustained for a lot longer and play could last for hours.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Another meeting of minds with an edge.

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