FabSwingers.com forum: bullying at work

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I feel like I'm in the film mean girls and I'm a bloody grown woman!! anyone else deal with bitchy girls/guys excluding you, backstabbing and general shit stirring?? I'm torn between throwing a tantrum and storming out or water off a ducks back approach, not sure I can fake that though!!! dear deidrie help me!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep notes with dates and times of what happens. Then just speak directly to whoever is causing an issue and talk it out. If that doesn't work, escalate it to management.

I'd personally do everything I could to avoid escalation as it could do more damage than it's worth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

record and report - its unacceptable

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By *uvesmuffinCouple
over a year ago

Barking

Yes not directly but witnessed a lot of it in my last job, bitchy nasty awful woman.

Clearly had no life outside work, certainly hadn't been fucked in Christ knows how long.

Hold in there, look for something else, jobs not easy to find.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but I've seen it happen in my last place of work. Is there one particular person who's at the centre of it? If there is you could approach her and have it out, maybe off the business premises, just to clear the air?

If you think it's likely to get nasty and you can't talk it out, then go to a line manager or HR and they should be discreet.

Some folk just need a telling and to know you're not a pushover, other folk don't give a shit and will be gits regardless, so know what you're dealing with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like the forums what you've just explained

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a ring leader? Does it involve whoever you report to? If not, do they witness it?

Do you have an Employee Assistance Programme you can speak to? That can help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid "

Of course you did. And what excellent advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid "

And a record for assult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid "

And that would probably result in the OP being dismissed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid "

Yeah but you got to be careful, you want THEM dealt with, not yourself/the OP being disciplined with a record. Cos that isn't fair.

Men can have fisticuffs but women get a bit more hysterical when it comes to that kind of thing...we're sent ice creatures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid

Yeah but you got to be careful, you want THEM dealt with, not yourself/the OP being disciplined with a record. Cos that isn't fair.

Men can have fisticuffs but women get a bit more hysterical when it comes to that kind of thing...we're sent ice creatures

*sensitive creatures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call it what you want but there was only one way of putting end to it,

His mates began to join it but not to the extent of the ring leader so I delt with him and knew that would get rid of his cronies at the same time.

I just treat people how they treat me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was in the office yday with the ring leader and the manager, their friendship does seem to cloud the issue tho!! and the manager I originally spoke to about it.....told the girl what I had said in our 'confidential meeting'. trust me I feel like launching people all over the shop and I am speaking up now but, arrrghh I could cry and scream at the same time. every single comment is helping though folks, thank you xx

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

I had a fella at work try it on with me , In front of everyone else on the job , I was tempted to walk up to him and give him a swift head butt , fortunately I remained calm , turned into work the following morning ten minutes early , got him alone in the office and gave him an Alex Ferguson style hair drier treatment , he's been good as gold ever since

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I feel like I'm in the film mean girls and I'm a bloody grown woman!! anyone else deal with bitchy girls/guys excluding you, backstabbing and general shit stirring?? I'm torn between throwing a tantrum and storming out or water off a ducks back approach, not sure I can fake that though!!! dear deidrie help me!!!!!

No but I've dealt with a man doing it.

You will never change how they behave. You have to alter how you react. That's my experience and it's worked. Good luck, it's not nice to have to deal with it at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah fair enough mine happened out side of work hours so it was different,

There is no need for people to make other people unhappy,

Life is party and everyone should be involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was at my last job, I started seeing my now-ex, and there were three girls in particular who were all very nicey nice to me beforehand, but when it came out they all got very bitchy towards me - in theory, they were jealous as I think they all liked him too - and what made it worse was they were all chummy with our old supervisor, who was married to our manager.

Thankfully, A - the guy I was seeing - stood up for me whenever he heard anything said and he eventually went to our manager himself on my behalf. The bitches eventually got bo_ed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to your managers manager. With detail.

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

I did many years ago. There is a bit of bitching in my new office - 3 small teams merged with 1 bigger team. I sat & listened for a bit whilst I found my feet but 1 day I snapped & outed 1 lady for being two faced. And I'll do it again!!! I love my job & want to enjoy my time in the office - it's lovely on Mondays when she doesn't work!!!

Having worked with an employment lawyer on these types of issues I'd say keep notes

*** BUT do not use stationery or computer equipment provided by your employer ***

it remains their property & can "disappear" - get your own diary or notepad, print emails, keep texts etc....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sure this lot will get bo_ed too eventually, hope to find a new job, not too easy these days, thought id left this stuff behind at senior school, I always thought I was a badass rock chick, I'm not gonna let some silly little girls feck things up, dammit for bothering me

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By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Look up assertiveness.

Not always the answer, but calmly explaining how someone's actions make you feel can pay dividends.

If not, report or slap 'em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread brings back memories

i was 16 first job and my superviser was a total bitch to me from day one

she not only critisised my work she always had a go at my clothes etc

six months later id had enough and just lost it with her told her that she was a bully and a prize bitch then went back to my desk

result no more crap off her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Look up assertiveness.

Not always the answer, but calmly explaining how someone's actions make you feel can pay dividends.

If not, report or slap 'em

exactly, ive done the 1st and if it continues I will slap then run like hell!!!!!!

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By *tephenBunChowMan
over a year ago

Haywards heath/Waterlooville

Do you have a HR department?

Most employee handbooks dont tolerate workplace bullying and it is a disciplinary offence. It has always been the case ever since I started working

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Bullying should be tackled head on. Better when you're feeling emotionally strong and would deal with it in a level headed way.

The bitchiness etc may be part of it or just a slightly different issue.

It may also be possible to ask your boss for some changes at work that would alleviate things for you - without raising the bullying issue. Are there some practical or role changes etc that could free you somewhat?

Deal with perpetrators one on one and privately.

Check that you have the support that you need, to help your wellbeing etc.

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By *ay BrowerMan
over a year ago

Oldham

If they say anything bitchy or un called for. Ask them nicely "could you repeat that please?"

They will more than likely be very embarrassed about what they said and if you keep doing it, you will shame them into submission

If they repeat it then you have 2 records of what they said and because they said it twice they will struggle to justify it as a misunderstanding should you put in a grievance.

It's a win, win situation once they're on the back foot

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

There's a big problem where I work, our manager is a bully. We get treated/spoken to appallingly. People like this also tend to build a team around them of similar people, or others will sycophantically become like them. When it becomes that bad, it's hard to do much about it. There is an area manager to take a complaint further to, but I have seen nothing done in such situations. Al you can do is watch your back but try to face up to them and give it back, brush it off and not be troubled by it, or get out. It's a situation where you can potentially be made to feel like the problem by the bully if you dare to speak up or act. I've seen female colleges in tears.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

why haven't you put a grievance in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit "

I'm not sure it's because they're females that they're being mean. And I'm not sure you don't experience bullying at work because your team is just males. It's not a gender thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit

I'm not sure it's because they're females that they're being mean. And I'm not sure you don't experience bullying at work because your team is just males. It's not a gender thing

I dunno everyone i know who works with mainly women teams complains about bitchynes, backstabbing and all sorts of drama. Males and females.

Although now i think about it they're all office based.

Maybe its more just the office atmosphere where there's little need to actually cooperate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit

I'm not sure it's because they're females that they're being mean. And I'm not sure you don't experience bullying at work because your team is just males. It's not a gender thing

I dunno everyone i know who works with mainly women teams complains about bitchynes, backstabbing and all sorts of drama. Males and females.

Although now i think about it they're all office based.

Maybe its more just the office atmosphere where there's little need to actually cooperate.

It's most likely personality based. You probably just got lucky in your team members not having that mentality.

I'm the only female in the sales team and I've witnessed the men being bitchy and mean. Same as my other male oriented job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit

I'm not sure it's because they're females that they're being mean. And I'm not sure you don't experience bullying at work because your team is just males. It's not a gender thing

I dunno everyone i know who works with mainly women teams complains about bitchynes, backstabbing and all sorts of drama. Males and females.

Although now i think about it they're all office based.

Maybe its more just the office atmosphere where there's little need to actually cooperate.

It's most likely personality based. You probably just got lucky in your team members not having that mentality.

I'm the only female in the sales team and I've witnessed the men being bitchy and mean. Same as my other male oriented job. "

Not really, worked with several hund_ed people here across the factories and shifts theres the odd individual cunt but never really any groups or bitching.

People just want to get on with work and have as simple a shift as possible.

Except for the occasional sabotage/practical joke.

Like removing all the wheels off somones tool cabinet, or sealing thier phone in a bag wrapprd in about 5 rolls of duct tape, and the never ending war to covertly draw dicks on everything.

I'm personally invested for when september comes around and one bloke to find his diary the e and p in s-ep-tember on every page has been changed to a downward facing hairy cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had three periods of grief in our office all down to the simple fact the ladies don't get on with each other. The amount of backstabbing they do to each other is unreal. The Men just sit back and watch inc_edulous. If you get involved and try to offer support you get accused of taking sides and the tears and bullying accusations flow.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thank fuck for an all male workplace.

We don't have to deal with any of this kind of shit

I'm not sure it's because they're females that they're being mean. And I'm not sure you don't experience bullying at work because your team is just males. It's not a gender thing

I dunno everyone i know who works with mainly women teams complains about bitchynes, backstabbing and all sorts of drama. Males and females.

Although now i think about it they're all office based.

Maybe its more just the office atmosphere where there's little need to actually cooperate.

It's most likely personality based. You probably just got lucky in your team members not having that mentality.

I'm the only female in the sales team and I've witnessed the men being bitchy and mean. Same as my other male oriented job. "

Older men can be very cruel to younger ones in a work environment especially apprentices or trainees. We have first hand experience of physical assault and verbal bullying by men towards youngsters. A lot of it stems from envy and fear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to your union

I swear by mine, when I have problems at work I find talking to my manager gets me nowhere soon as a union gets involves they pull their socks up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some fella started on me over the course of about 6 days,

Always taking the piss out of me in front on my friends so I just gave him a couple of right hooks and sent him away with his tail between his legs and I've not heard a peep from him since

Some times you've gotta front it head on I'm afraid

And that would probably result in the OP being dismissed. "

And being arrested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave! Dont stay i put it with this stuff for years and its just not me drama gives me a rash. Best thing i ever did leaving

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The thing is that whatever course of action you take in these situations you still have to work with these people unless you can be transfer_ed or leave. When I witnessed a young woman being subjected to bullying I asked her if she wanted to take it further and told her I'd back her and be a witness but she declined, HR wouldn't do anything unless a formal complaint was raised and she didn't want to do that. So a couple of older colleagues and myself just stepped in whenever we saw it happening and eventually it happened less.

Op if you can get the support of other colleagues it might help, bullies thrive on isolating people and tend to shrink back under their stones if they see you have support.

I hope you can resolve this quickly.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Depends on the culture at your workplace, and whether the company tolerates this sort of thing;

It should be sorted my your manager/ team leader; ( if it's happening, then they are not much if s leader).

If your immediate manager don't do anything, bypass and make a complaint to the next level or HR department (if they have one), or the Union ( if you have one) . As a senior manager ( sent to sort out a department that had developed a horrendous culture) I found the union reps ( mostly) very good and helpful, and very supportive of sorting out this sort of issue at the " shop floor" level when I found weak team leaders who couldn't ( or wouldn't ) deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Leave! Dont stay i put it with this stuff for years and its just not me drama gives me a rash. Best thing i ever did leaving

Not everybody can afford to walk out their job though

If you leave of your own accord does that not affect any benefit's? And it can take months to find a new job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Leave! Dont stay i put it with this stuff for years and its just not me drama gives me a rash. Best thing i ever did leaving

Not everybody can afford to walk out their job though

If you leave of your own accord does that not affect any benefit's? And it can take months to find a new job "

I didnt mean walk out sorry that wasnt clear. It can, but it will take even longer if you do nothing. Sooner you start looking the sooner it will come xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate bullies...don't worry OP..it's only a cover up for their own inadequacies.

If you do find another job...on your last day,make sure you throw a bucket of stale piss over the twats.

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