FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

what would you do????

Jump to newest
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

Bit of a long one this so please bare with me!I'm 18 weeks pregnant and a full time student so not entitled to any Maternity benefits (financial).

I have an interview tomorrow for a temporary job that will take me more or less up to my due date. My dilemma is do I mention junior or hide my bump?

Legally I do not have to mention that I'm pregnant and they are not allowed to ask and (if I get the job) I do not have to tell them I'm pregnant until 25 weeks but I'm struggling with my conscience, even though I know if I tell them the chances of getting the job are minimal.

So what would you do?????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Go for it, then you can breast feed your baby and your boss will be happy to see your babies!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preganant women at work MUST be protected and employers have a duty of care! Some working environments are not suitable for pregnant women.

You'll also need time of for ante natal appointments etc. Also you MUST tell your employer you're pregnant so they can risk assess your situation.

I can't stress enough the folly of not telling your employer you're pregnant!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

as an employer i would like to think you would be honest and say.if it is a small business you are applying to things are hard enough for them just now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"Preganant women at work MUST be protected and employers have a duty of care! Some working environments are not suitable for pregnant women.

You'll also need time of for ante natal appointments etc. Also you MUST tell your employer you're pregnant so they can risk assess your situation.

Yep appreciate all that but do I tell them tomorrow at the interview or wait until I get the job?

I know that LEGALLY they cannot discriminate against me for being pregnant but we all know that this still happens in the real world.

I can't stress enough the folly of not telling your employer you're pregnant!

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"as an employer i would like to think you would be honest and say.if it is a small business you are applying to things are hard enough for them just now."

It's a multi national (retail) company, the hours are part time so I would fit any ante natal appointments around my shifts and I wouldn't be employed by them for long enough to claim any maternity benefits (financial). I hate the thought of not telling them and being upfront, that's just not me but if I don't get the job after I've told them I will always wonder if it's because I'm pregnant!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

I would tell them,it wouldnt seem honest if you didnt xhopefully you will still get the job x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as an employer i would like to think you would be honest and say.if it is a small business you are applying to things are hard enough for them just now.

It's a multi national (retail) company, the hours are part time so I would fit any ante natal appointments around my shifts and I wouldn't be employed by them for long enough to claim any maternity benefits (financial). I hate the thought of not telling them and being upfront, that's just not me but if I don't get the job after I've told them I will always wonder if it's because I'm pregnant!"

Well, you've asked we've answered. If you're going to lie anyway what was the point?!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit of a long one this so please bare with me!I'm 18 weeks pregnant and a full time student so not entitled to any Maternity benefits (financial).

I have an interview tomorrow for a temporary job that will take me more or less up to my due date. My dilemma is do I mention junior or hide my bump?

Legally I do not have to mention that I'm pregnant and they are not allowed to ask and (if I get the job) I do not have to tell them I'm pregnant until 25 weeks but I'm struggling with my conscience, even though I know if I tell them the chances of getting the job are minimal.

So what would you do?????"
depends in the job itself

will

it be stress full for you to work n the job but as we all no the extra pennies do count especially with the prices creeping up every month. to be honest i would not mention till after the interview i dont think its relevant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Young123Man
over a year ago

Crewe

I'd probably tell them and also add in the info you said about working appointments around the working hours etc. This should show them that you're honest, that you want the job and are flexible

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"as an employer i would like to think you would be honest and say.if it is a small business you are applying to things are hard enough for them just now.

It's a multi national (retail) company, the hours are part time so I would fit any ante natal appointments around my shifts and I wouldn't be employed by them for long enough to claim any maternity benefits (financial). I hate the thought of not telling them and being upfront, that's just not me but if I don't get the job after I've told them I will always wonder if it's because I'm pregnant!

Well, you've asked we've answered. If you're going to lie anyway what was the point?!!

"

Actually I haven't made up my mind what to do! I was actually answering the comment made and technically it's not a lie as nowhere on the application form did it ask if I am pregnant and as legally they cannot ask that question at an interview it's not a lie!

However having been on the other side and been the interviewer before I know how pissed off I would be if it wasn't mentioned at the interview but can you tell me in all honesty that if you interviewed 2 people for a job, both had the correct credentials but one was pregnant that she is the one you would choose??????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eren35Woman
over a year ago

cardiff


"Bit of a long one this so please bare with me!I'm 18 weeks pregnant and a full time student so not entitled to any Maternity benefits (financial).

I have an interview tomorrow for a temporary job that will take me more or less up to my due date. My dilemma is do I mention junior or hide my bump?

Legally I do not have to mention that I'm pregnant and they are not allowed to ask and (if I get the job) I do not have to tell them I'm pregnant until 25 weeks but I'm struggling with my conscience, even though I know if I tell them the chances of getting the job are minimal.

So what would you do?????"

Ive been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"I'd probably tell them and also add in the info you said about working appointments around the working hours etc. This should show them that you're honest, that you want the job and are flexible "

Thanks, this was what I was planning to do but started doubting myself! I need this job and I know I am more than capable of doing it, I suppose what I am really doubting is the integrity of the interviewer to uphold the law lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"

Ive been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck "

Only my integrity lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit of a long one this so please bare with me!I'm 18 weeks pregnant and a full time student so not entitled to any Maternity benefits (financial).

I have an interview tomorrow for a temporary job that will take me more or less up to my due date. My dilemma is do I mention junior or hide my bump?

Legally I do not have to mention that I'm pregnant and they are not allowed to ask and (if I get the job) I do not have to tell them I'm pregnant until 25 weeks but I'm struggling with my conscience, even though I know if I tell them the chances of getting the job are minimal.

So what would you do?????"

If the job is temp and only taking you up to your due date then Id tell them that your pregnant. I cant see them having a problem with that unless the job is likely to put you and junior at risk ie lifting boxes etc etc if its a job where your sat down behind a till all day then cant see a problem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them. If you're conscience is saying you should tell them then you'll only get stressed if you don't say anything.

And if you got it and then they find out, (as they obviously will lol!) they might be less than friendly every day when you go to work.

You don't need extra stress/worry during your pregancy. Congratulations, by the way!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you are not obliged to tell them

whether you do or not is your choice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck "

I smiled when I read this as I did exactly the same thing as I knew the job was only going to be temporary anyway. I was 16 weeks pregnant when I applied for a retail job without disclosing the fact that I was pregnant and got the job. Told them at 24 weeks as my bump was massive and somebody told me I was legally obliged to at 25 weeks.

My manager smiled and said he thought so and was pleased for me.... I will add that I also made out that I had only just found out.

OP, do what you feel you think is right. But please assess the dangers for you and your baby. If they expect you to do heavy lifting etc. then I would tell them if I were you.

I left an engineering firm because of the risks involved in that type of work and went into the retail job because I knew it involved practically sitting at a desk all day. Like you, I needed the money to support the little-un growing inside me

Good luck xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell them but assure them you are fit and well to work. Its not as if they wont find out, you'll be getting bigger every month. You need to be safe at work, they need to keep you safe, its not being fair on them. I know its tough but you do need to be honest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell them it's best to be upfront sooner then later. If you had an accident at work and they didn't know it could get very serious. Why hide it?

Let us know how you get on a good luck but only you know what your going to say to them we can't sway you. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be going against the grain here but I don't think you should tell them. The fact that your pregnant or not should have no bearing on whether you get the job or not. That's why they are not allowed to ask you the question. Your employer would still have a duty of care pregnant or not pregnant and I am sure there are certain roles a pregnant women would not be allowed to undertake, but the 'logistics' and make up of your duties would have to be adapted to suit you.

Yes it would be easier for a company not to have the headache but it is illegal for them to opt out of the headache if you are suited for the role. Afterall it's 'easier' for some not to employ disabled people. Maybe most will disagree with me but I think your inviting discrimination by highlighting it.

They are not allowed to ask you the question for a reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found out i was pregnant at 31 weeks.. so i couldnt have let my employer know any sooner

Do whats best for you and bambino xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I may be going against the grain here but I don't think you should tell them. The fact that your pregnant or not should have no bearing on whether you get the job or not. That's why they are not allowed to ask you the question. Your employer would still have a duty of care pregnant or not pregnant and I am sure there are certain roles a pregnant women would not be allowed to undertake, but the 'logistics' and make up of your duties would have to be adapted to suit you.

Yes it would be easier for a company not to have the headache but it is illegal for them to opt out of the headache if you are suited for the role. Afterall it's 'easier' for some not to employ disabled people. Maybe most will disagree with me but I think your inviting discrimination by highlighting it.

They are not allowed to ask you the question for a reason. "

I think you're missing the point somewhat - it's not that simple. There are laws at work that apply specifically to pregnant women. Work stations/environments need to be assess. Without knowing the nature of the job in question lifting may be required, use of electronic equipment.

The OP could be taken ill, suffer morning etc - supposed something happened to her at work and her collegues were not aware that she's pregnant.

At the interview stage employer's can't ask such questions, as the same question can't be asked of a male applicant.

At the end of the day the OP will have to make that decision, I just hope, God forbid, anything happens she wouldn't have the gall to wish to sue her employer!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I agree with Sassy. I would also tell them because I would want my baby kept safe and that is worth more than a temporary job, easy for me to say but I really would tell them.

Yes employers do have a duty of care but things are different for a pregnant woman. You could have an accident, you could be asked to do something not appropriate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

The question I asked was should I mention the bump at the interview or wait until I have secured the job before informing them.

Yes by law I do not have to tell them until my 25th week but that is not to say I would leave it until then to tell them.

Having been on the other side of this argument I know that discrimination still exists but my integrity tell me to inform them at the interview stage.

So what my question is ultimately about not if I should inform them but when.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They are not allowed to ask you the question for a reason.

I think you're missing the point somewhat - it's not that simple. There are laws at work that apply specifically to pregnant women. Work stations/environments need to be assess. Without knowing the nature of the job in question lifting may be required, use of electronic equipment.

The OP could be taken ill, suffer morning etc - supposed something happened to her at work and her collegues were not aware that she's pregnant.

At the interview stage employer's can't ask such questions, as the same question can't be asked of a male applicant.

At the end of the day the OP will have to make that decision, I just hope, God forbid, anything happens she wouldn't have the gall to wish to sue her employer!

"
Im not missing the point, I just don't agree with it. I am not suggesting the Op never tells her employer, just not at interview stage. The only reason that information would be an issue during the recruitment process is if it may be an influence on the hiring decision. I was under the impression that it was illegal for it to be factored into the decision.

I completely agree that once in role there are important H&S and duty of care issues, but that is 'sadly' a cost of being an employer in the uk.

I don't believe it is an integrity issue.

If you interview a person over the phone, they are successful, then they turn up to work in a wheelchair, what do you do, question their integrity?

I speak as someone who up until relatively recently was an employer and have been faced with the dilemma of whether to hire or not in similar circumstances. Employers will almost always take the 'easy' option especially if it's cheaper.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I just feel that's why the rules are in place.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eren35Woman
over a year ago

cardiff


"

Ive been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck

Only my integrity lol!"

In that case why are you on here asking for advice? lol

Tell them and see if you get offered the job, or it goes to someone who isnt up the duff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/11 10:26:58]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If by law, the pregnancy should have no bearing on being hired, then I don't think there's any reason to tell them. If you get the job and of course it's only an if, then tell them in a timely manner and then they can make any preparations for the work environment.

I'm sure you're not applying for a job that's inappropriate for a pregnant woman and it's a temporary position so you're not taking advantage of them by applying for a perm position and then leaving.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ev and Trev OP   Couple
over a year ago

cardiff


"

Ive been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck

Only my integrity lol!

In that case why are you on here asking for advice? lol

Tell them and see if you get offered the job, or it goes to someone who isnt up the duff "

I suppose I wanted to hear that by not telling them until I (hopefully) get the job that I have not done anything wrong!

Logic (and the law) tells me I am within my rights not to tell them yet but my instincts tell me differently.

I suppose I was using you all as my conscience!

Interviews in an hour and I still haven't made up my mind lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eren35Woman
over a year ago

cardiff


"

Ive been in exactly the same position as this, I needed the job and more importantly the money! So I never told them. I started work, then 6 weeks later made out I'd just found out about my preg, by then they were happy with my work and were quite happy to keep me on.

Do it! what have you got to loose??

Good luck

Only my integrity lol!

In that case why are you on here asking for advice? lol

Tell them and see if you get offered the job, or it goes to someone who isnt up the duff

I suppose I wanted to hear that by not telling them until I (hopefully) get the job that I have not done anything wrong!

Logic (and the law) tells me I am within my rights not to tell them yet but my instincts tell me differently.

I suppose I was using you all as my conscience!

Interviews in an hour and I still haven't made up my mind lol"

Ok then ask yourself how much do you need the job and money!

Personally I needed it, so my concious wasnt thinking of the employer just that I wanted a £250 cot, and all the nice things for my 1st born lol I got all the lovely baby things and made some great friends from my little fib. And thats all it is, your not about to commit grand theft from them! lol

Let us know how you get on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I'd tell them when/ if offered teh job (ie before you start)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

I think Sassymissuk has summed up what I feel about the matter really, but having been on both sides if the fence I do think the OP is making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I think it's important to consider your own needs and safety in these situations. So it's not a question of playing some strange game of cat and mouse with your potential employer but more about adopting a mature perspective on the situation and stating your case clearly so everyone understands what the parameters are.

I'm not obliged by law to say 'please', 'hello', and 'thank you', but some things are considered common curtesies and should be adherred to. You might find things a lot simpler that way, and others might see you in a more favourable light.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Preganant women at work MUST be protected and employers have a duty of care! Some working environments are not suitable for pregnant women.

You'll also need time of for ante natal appointments etc. Also you MUST tell your employer you're pregnant so they can risk assess your situation.

I can't stress enough the folly of not telling your employer you're pregnant!

"

Im not too sure but dont you have to be Working for at least a year with said company before said entitlement for any benefit clicks into place. ?

I would tell them as they cant actively discriminate against you, tho i would guess they are more up with what you can and cant do.

good luck anyways

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top