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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I could do with some advice.

A few years ago, a young lady caught my eye. Well, her rather tempting breasts did. They really were enticing. Made my mouth water.

Anyway, I sent a few (56?) introductory messages and, eventually, got chatting. I tempted her with some unique photos of my cock. Who could resist? I am particularly proud of the green diseased one (Yes, Green Waffle does exist. Check out the photo. But I did get it treated).

Anyway, I think she had problems with her PC or internet connection because we were getting on but, despite another few (137?) messages from me, I received no reply. There must have been a virus on her PC, as I was blocked, and each of my carefully crafted messages contained a unique picture of my member.

Having sympathy for her plight, I managed to track her down through the Book of Face. I even found out where she worked. So, knowing she was missing me, I sent a few (350?) carefully written letters to her at her work address.

Imagine my surprise (and, quite frankly, indignation), at receiving a 6 month sentence! By the way, the bunny incident was greatly exaggerated, you know. It was quite an old rabbit and there wasn't anything worth eating to speak of in her fridge. The panty bit was not really how it sounded, either.

Anyway, just noticed she is back here on a different profile. Would it be considered rude to message her? How do you think I should phrase a message?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The Police - Every Breath You Take

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could do with some advice.

A few years ago, a young lady caught my eye. Well, her rather tempting breasts did. They really were enticing. Made my mouth water.

Anyway, I sent a few (56?) introductory messages and, eventually, got chatting. I tempted her with some unique photos of my cock. Who could resist? I am particularly proud of the green diseased one (Yes, Green Waffle does exist. Check out the photo. But I did get it treated).

Anyway, I think she had problems with her PC or internet connection because we were getting on but, despite another few (137?) messages from me, I received no reply. There must have been a virus on her PC, as I was blocked, and each of my carefully crafted messages contained a unique picture of my member.

Having sympathy for her plight, I managed to track her down through the Book of Face. I even found out where she worked. So, knowing she was missing me, I sent a few (350?) carefully written letters to her at her work address.

Imagine my surprise (and, quite frankly, indignation), at receiving a 6 month sentence! By the way, the bunny incident was greatly exaggerated, you know. It was quite an old rabbit and there wasn't anything worth eating to speak of in her fridge. The panty bit was not really how it sounded, either.

Anyway, just noticed she is back here on a different profile. Would it be considered rude to message her? How do you think I should phrase a message?"

Try saying sorry??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The Police - Every Breath You Take

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs"

Lovely tune, yes, but how should I phrase my message? I know she likes me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"The Police - Every Breath You Take

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs

Lovely tune, yes, but how should I phrase my message? I know she likes me."

Just send that tune as an ice-breaker. Or maybe just rip-off the words and pretend it's your poetry?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I could do with some advice.

Try saying sorry??

"

Do you think so? It was all a terrible misunderstanding.

Maybe if I sent her some flowers? A replacement rabbit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could do with some advice.

Try saying sorry??

Do you think so? It was all a terrible misunderstanding.

Maybe if I sent her some flowers? A replacement rabbit?"

I'm sure it was lol.. the judge obviously didn't think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sound just like what happen on a old site between my friend and another person the girl was obsess with my friend husband kept going on that he loved her she started watching there house and watching him at work it hot to the point she said she was going to kI'll my friend because he really wanted her so bad.... she was soo wrong and it ended very bad.. he had no interest in her what so ever

Trust me I would just leave her to it hahah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally

I'd take it as she is very interested

Just playing really hard to get

I'd pop round with flowers and chocolates

Show her your axe collection maybe

and obviously

Propose

She is just waiting to feel that security from a guy such as your good self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally

I'd take it as she is very interested

Just playing really hard to get

I'd pop round with flowers and chocolates

Show her your axe collection maybe

and obviously

Propose

She is just waiting to feel that security from a guy such as your good self "

Just take an overnight bag with you. Helps when your locked up again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?"

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck "

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?"

Try using a condom, technically there'd be no contact

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?

Try using a condom, technically there'd be no contact "

Cool. You don't mind me quoting that, I hope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?

Try using a condom, technically there'd be no contact

Cool. You don't mind me quoting that, I hope. "

It's not professional advice you understand? I'm just a layman that knows fk.all about the law

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?

Try using a condom, technically there'd be no contact

Cool. You don't mind me quoting that, I hope.

It's not professional advice you understand? I'm just a layman that knows fk.all about the law "

Is that one of those disclaimer things?

And I was looking for some good solid advice to keep out of clink. I mean, to get squirmy with that rather-nice-breasted chick who clearly wants it but with whom I had an understandable misunderstanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?

Perfect she'll appreciate that. The glory hole approach has got be a winner. Good luck

Thanks. I may give it a go. I am sure it will be a nice surprise. I'll have to check the terms of the injunction, though. I think it said something about contact but I guess that bit is up to her, isn't it?

Try using a condom, technically there'd be no contact

Cool. You don't mind me quoting that, I hope.

It's not professional advice you understand? I'm just a layman that knows fk.all about the law

Is that one of those disclaimer things?

And I was looking for some good solid advice to keep out of clink. I mean, to get squirmy with that rather-nice-breasted chick who clearly wants it but with whom I had an understandable misunderstanding."

It is yes. And I can understand your dilemma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IN MY MIND...

1) Try standing across the street from her so she can see you from her window. Slowly masturbate at her. This will show courage, determination and self control.

2) Send her a nice letter made from cut out newspaper letters and scent it with her perfume that you know she wears.

Women love a good read.

3) Go to a hardware store, buy a sturdy chair, some silver tape and a spotlight.

Arrange it nicely in a damp and dirty basement along with a gas mask, some dental tools and a rubber fist. Send her a picture message of this.

This will show her you can be playful too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IN MY MIND...

1) Try standing across the street from her so she can see you from her window. Slowly masturbate at her. This will show courage, determination and self control.

2) Send her a nice letter made from cut out newspaper letters and scent it with her perfume that you know she wears.

Women love a good read.

3) Go to a hardware store, buy a sturdy chair, some silver tape and a spotlight.

Arrange it nicely in a damp and dirty basement along with a gas mask, some dental tools and a rubber fist. Send her a picture message of this.

This will show her you can be playful too.

"

Wow, good sound advice.

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By *asonnosaMMan
over a year ago

Grantham


"The Police - Every Breath You Take

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs"
how about move on and leave her alone that's worrying say hi send her a friend request as she would of remembered you that all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you keep the Rabbit?

Get the bunny stuffed ( or a similar one if you didn't keep it )

Send it to her but with one subtle bodily modification...

A MASSIVE COCK.

A good taxidermist will cost but the look on her face will be priceless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Great - thanks for all the good advice.

You know, I have been giving this all some thought (while gently fondling - oh, alright, manhandling - my penis).

While I was in Winchester (unfortunately, not the wonderful cathedral), it was my good fortune to share a bunk with old One-Eyed-Rapist Roger. He told me some real nuggets of wisdom. "Mate, you'll never understand women. Just surprise them."

I'm leaning towards the torchlight and basement approach. She still hasn't answered my last message. I think her internet is down again.

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By *elle2016Woman
over a year ago

...


"I could do with some advice.

A few years ago, a young lady caught my eye. Well, her rather tempting breasts did. They really were enticing. Made my mouth water.

Anyway, I sent a few (56?) introductory messages and, eventually, got chatting. I tempted her with some unique photos of my cock. Who could resist? I am particularly proud of the green diseased one (Yes, Green Waffle does exist. Check out the photo. But I did get it treated).

Anyway, I think she had problems with her PC or internet connection because we were getting on but, despite another few (137?) messages from me, I received no reply. There must have been a virus on her PC, as I was blocked, and each of my carefully crafted messages contained a unique picture of my member.

Having sympathy for her plight, I managed to track her down through the Book of Face. I even found out where she worked. So, knowing she was missing me, I sent a few (350?) carefully written letters to her at her work address.

Imagine my surprise (and, quite frankly, indignation), at receiving a 6 month sentence! By the way, the bunny incident was greatly exaggerated, you know. It was quite an old rabbit and there wasn't anything worth eating to speak of in her fridge. The panty bit was not really how it sounded, either.

Anyway, just noticed she is back here on a different profile. Would it be considered rude to message her? How do you think I should phrase a message?"

Class!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would go the traditional route , cut of your ear , package it nicely in a little box and send it to her to show you devotion and love for her ! And if it all goes tits up , you could alway paint pritty pictures of flowers and sell them as your modelling contract may well be compromised .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would go the traditional route , cut of your ear , package it nicely in a little box and send it to her to show you devotion and love for her ! And if it all goes tits up , you could alway paint pritty pictures of flowers and sell them as your modelling contract may well be compromised ."

Ooh, no. I couldn't ever do that. I'm not evil.

I did see one of those film things once involving a horse's head. I happen to know that she quite likes horses (well, that is what the private detective I hired told me, but you can't believe everything they tell you. He didn't tell me that she didn't like rabbit casserole. Waste of money, hiring him).

Do you think a horse's head in her bed might be a nice gesture?

It is always good to be able to bounce these ideas off fellow fabbers! Everyone has a different point of view and that is what I love about this place!

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" "

That's easy for you to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd leave the horse in tact.

Just cut off it's massive cock and leave the rest on her driveway.

She can decide to keep it or send it to the nearest dog food or glue factory.

This will show her you like animals and support local industry.

You can have the cock as a main course, a paperweight or self defence weapon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I would go the traditional route , cut of your ear , package it nicely in a little box and send it to her to show you devotion and love for her ! And if it all goes tits up , you could alway paint pritty pictures of flowers and sell them as your modelling contract may well be compromised .

Ooh, no. I couldn't ever do that. I'm not evil.

I did see one of those film things once involving a horse's head. I happen to know that she quite likes horses (well, that is what the private detective I hired told me, but you can't believe everything they tell you. He didn't tell me that she didn't like rabbit casserole. Waste of money, hiring him).

Do you think a horse's head in her bed might be a nice gesture?

It is always good to be able to bounce these ideas off fellow fabbers! Everyone has a different point of view and that is what I love about this place!"

They horses head seems a very stable idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really loved her you would give her the one thing that she desires. No, not the Boxset of Band of Brothers, I mean your amputated cock. Covered in chocolate and gift wrapped lovingly. Sealed with a kiss.

Every time she licked it she would think of you and smile. You would have blissful contentment knowing she was sucking your cock. Albeit it's no longer rising to the occasion.

And fear not, I'm sure you could get a bigger and better replacement on the NHS, they're very understanding. Sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you really loved her you would give her the one thing that she desires. No, not the Boxset of Band of Brothers, I mean your amputated cock. Covered in chocolate and gift wrapped lovingly. Sealed with a kiss.

Every time she licked it she would think of you and smile. You would have blissful contentment knowing she was sucking your cock. Albeit it's no longer rising to the occasion.

And fear not, I'm sure you could get a bigger and better replacement on the NHS, they're very understanding. Sometimes."

You can also get hearing aids know the NHS.

JUST SAYING

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you really loved her you would give her the one thing that she desires. No, not the Boxset of Band of Brothers, I mean your amputated cock. Covered in chocolate and gift wrapped lovingly. Sealed with a kiss.

Every time she licked it she would think of you and smile. You would have blissful contentment knowing she was sucking your cock. Albeit it's no longer rising to the occasion.

And fear not, I'm sure you could get a bigger and better replacement on the NHS, they're very understanding. Sometimes."

I really wasn't looking for disrespectful suggestions, you know. I am just a simple man looking for a simple resolution to this conundrum.

Looking back, I think I might have gone wrong with the 137th message. I had suffered a long day at work and I don't think the camera angle quite paid me justice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fear that the chocolate cock with a kiss is a bit too romantic.

Will it scare her off?

After all the hard work you've put in I personally would take things one step at a time.

A custom build basement will show her you're good with woodworking (women like a man who is good with his hands).

My old mate Josef from Austria gave me the idea. You could put her in there for years... But agree to let her out if she guesses the password, that way she will know you like games and have a sense of humour too.

(Don't use PASSWORD as your password)

If she complains / tries to exit the game etc tell her the next time she sits on the toilet to take a shit, your hand will come up from the bowl and pull her insides out.

You get to keep her forever and hopefully she'll catch "Stockholm syndrome" and end up loving you for real.

The only downside to this is that by the time she loves you her tits may be crap and you won't love her anymore.

The whole cycle of love starts again...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I fear that the chocolate cock with a kiss is a bit too romantic.

Will it scare her off?

After all the hard work you've put in I personally would take things one step at a time.

A custom build basement will show her you're good with woodworking (women like a man who is good with his hands).

My old mate Josef from Austria gave me the idea. You could put her in there for years... But agree to let her out if she guesses the password, that way she will know you like games and have a sense of humour too.

(Don't use PASSWORD as your password)

If she complains / tries to exit the game etc tell her the next time she sits on the toilet to take a shit, your hand will come up from the bowl and pull her insides out.

You get to keep her forever and hopefully she'll catch "Stockholm syndrome" and end up loving you for real.

The only downside to this is that by the time she loves you her tits may be crap and you won't love her anymore.

The whole cycle of love starts again... "

Oh, fook. My DIY skills are a bit rubbish. And I've never been to Stockholm.

I am tending towards the letterbox thing. You know, it's a bit quicker?

I did have a hint that she liked military men. Maybe, just so as not to scare her, I dress up in that SAS outfit? You know, the black stuff with a balaclava? I have heard that ladies appreciate us men making the effort?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think she likes the military , especially the army , you could always go the whole hog and dress up in the uniform of the Salvation Army , you know ! Go to her house and play some brass instruments , you know , get her attention , and when she comes out , ask her if she would like to have a go on you trumpet / trombone , which ever you feel she would enjoy the most .

Failing that , sneak in through a window , and every day leave a little chocolate on her pillow , and you could even add a little note of your declaration of your love for her , and just sign it X unless you have a street name , like say , shadow , silhouette , or go the whole 9 yardes and leave her pictures of your member with various sexual play partners in the shot , you know , make her jealous n'all .

And if you are concerned about her not being able to contact you , find a phone box some where public , copy the number for it and attach it to the letters . Then all you have to do is linger in a public place next to the phone awaiting her call . Just don't wear make up as you could be mistaken for a working girl and end up having sex with a stranger !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you think she likes the military , especially the army , you could always go the whole hog and dress up in the uniform of the Salvation Army , you know ! Go to her house and play some brass instruments , you know , get her attention , and when she comes out , ask her if she would like to have a go on you trumpet / trombone , which ever you feel she would enjoy the most .

Failing that , sneak in through a window , and every day leave a little chocolate on her pillow , and you could even add a little note of your declaration of your love for her , and just sign it X unless you have a street name , like say , shadow , silhouette , or go the whole 9 yardes and leave her pictures of your member with various sexual play partners in the shot , you know , make her jealous n'all .

And if you are concerned about her not being able to contact you , find a phone box some where public , copy the number for it and attach it to the letters . Then all you have to do is linger in a public place next to the phone awaiting her call . Just don't wear make up as you could be mistaken for a working girl and end up having sex with a stranger !!"

Great idea! I don't know why I didn't think of that myself!

Do you think perhaps that leaving chocolates in her panty drawer might be a bit more seductive? I don't want to come on too strong but at the same time I think she wants more than a Black Magic moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think she likes the military , especially the army , you could always go the whole hog and dress up in the uniform of the Salvation Army , you know ! Go to her house and play some brass instruments , you know , get her attention , and when she comes out , ask her if she would like to have a go on you trumpet / trombone , which ever you feel she would enjoy the most .

Failing that , sneak in through a window , and every day leave a little chocolate on her pillow , and you could even add a little note of your declaration of your love for her , and just sign it X unless you have a street name , like say , shadow , silhouette , or go the whole 9 yardes and leave her pictures of your member with various sexual play partners in the shot , you know , make her jealous n'all .

And if you are concerned about her not being able to contact you , find a phone box some where public , copy the number for it and attach it to the letters . Then all you have to do is linger in a public place next to the phone awaiting her call . Just don't wear make up as you could be mistaken for a working girl and end up having sex with a stranger !!"

I like this! It would win me over tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think she likes the military , especially the army , you could always go the whole hog and dress up in the uniform of the Salvation Army , you know ! Go to her house and play some brass instruments , you know , get her attention , and when she comes out , ask her if she would like to have a go on you trumpet / trombone , which ever you feel she would enjoy the most .

Failing that , sneak in through a window , and every day leave a little chocolate on her pillow , and you could even add a little note of your declaration of your love for her , and just sign it X unless you have a street name , like say , shadow , silhouette , or go the whole 9 yardes and leave her pictures of your member with various sexual play partners in the shot , you know , make her jealous n'all .

And if you are concerned about her not being able to contact you , find a phone box some where public , copy the number for it and attach it to the letters . Then all you have to do is linger in a public place next to the phone awaiting her call . Just don't wear make up as you could be mistaken for a working girl and end up having sex with a stranger !!

Great idea! I don't know why I didn't think of that myself!

Do you think perhaps that leaving chocolates in her panty drawer might be a bit more seductive? I don't want to come on too strong but at the same time I think she wants more than a Black Magic moment."

Just make sure the chocolates are properly wrapped. Don't want to spoil her panties

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Cor, so many suggestions. Them birds are tricky to please, eh? I'm now having second thoughts about the letterbox thing. She's got a rottweiler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cor, so many suggestions. Them birds are tricky to please, eh? I'm now having second thoughts about the letterbox thing. She's got a rottweiler."

Not your type??

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Oh for gods sake message me again and this time I'll answer! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh for gods sake message me again and this time I'll answer! Xx"

You sent me to prison, bitch.

P.S. Keep the rottie on a lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op have you tryed buying her a bottle of wine n a tube of ryhnol xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

(I knew that my sweet-talking would pay dividends)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"(I knew that my sweet-talking would pay dividends)"

I sometimes love happy endings. Awww I'm filling up (sniffles)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Op have you tryed buying her a bottle of wine n a tube of ryhnol xxx"

Does that work with Four X? Don't want to appear snobby. She didn't appreciate the casserole, after all. Made that with a red wine jus and everything.

I have a feeling that she is an earthy sort of girl.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"Oh for gods sake message me again and this time I'll answer! Xx

You sent me to prison, bitch.

P.S. Keep the rottie on a lead."

But that was the judge not me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op have you tryed buying her a bottle of wine n a tube of ryhnol xxx

Does that work with Four X? Don't want to appear snobby. She didn't appreciate the casserole, after all. Made that with a red wine jus and everything.

I have a feeling that she is an earthy sort of girl."

Tramp fuel xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"(I knew that my sweet-talking would pay dividends)

I sometimes love happy endings. Awww I'm filling up (sniffles) "

It could go awfully wrong, you know.

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By *anaduABCMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Oh for gods sake message me again and this time I'll answer! Xx"

Lol.....

I was smiling at all the posts but i actually laughed out loud at yours....excellent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"(I knew that my sweet-talking would pay dividends)

I sometimes love happy endings. Awww I'm filling up (sniffles)

It could go awfully wrong, you know."

Think positive... and smile when you see her.. but not in a an evil mad man way.. you know???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh for gods sake message me again and this time I'll answer! Xx

Lol.....

I was smiling at all the posts but i actually laughed out loud at yours....excellent"

I do hope I am not detecting a note of cynicism there? Just seeking sensible advice.

Nice tits, by the way. Do you like bunny wabbits?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night. "

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?"

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed. "

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about the Rottweiler , I found that if you buy some steak , 28 day aged preferably , crush some sleeping tablets , rub it into the steak and pop it through the letter box . It will be asleep in about ten minutes .

She will also appreciate this as it means she won't have to walk him/ her for the evening , so she will have more time to play "guess who--- left me chocolates in my underwear " and also if she has any spare time , she may even take the opportunity to reply to one of your 317 messages .

As a bonus , you could leave a sleepy steak in her fridge for dinner , that way she will get a great nights sleep and give you the chance to sneak in and cuddle up with her . She will love waking up next to you and cry out in throws of excitement .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't worry about the Rottweiler , I found that if you buy some steak , 28 day aged preferably , crush some sleeping tablets , rub it into the steak and pop it through the letter box . It will be asleep in about ten minutes .

She will also appreciate this as it means she won't have to walk him/ her for the evening , so she will have more time to play "guess who--- left me chocolates in my underwear " and also if she has any spare time , she may even take the opportunity to reply to one of your 317 messages .

As a bonus , you could leave a sleepy steak in her fridge for dinner , that way she will get a great nights sleep and give you the chance to sneak in and cuddle up with her . She will love waking up next to you and cry out in throws of excitement . "

My, that is genius. I recognize that approach, ole cellmate, you. I thought you were in for life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op ypu could of just asked i fancied a fuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Op ypu could of just asked i fancied a fuck "

I am not rude, young lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IN MY MIND...

1) Try standing across the street from her so she can see you from her window. Slowly masturbate at her. This will show courage, determination and self control.

2) Send her a nice letter made from cut out newspaper letters and scent it with her perfume that you know she wears.

Women love a good read.

3) Go to a hardware store, buy a sturdy chair, some silver tape and a spotlight.

Arrange it nicely in a damp and dirty basement along with a gas mask, some dental tools and a rubber fist. Send her a picture message of this.

This will show her you can be playful too.

"

That's beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op ypu could of just asked i fancied a fuck

I am not rude, young lady."

Thats where your going wrong then

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

I have found walking up to the person and dropping your trousers gets you noticed. Take note though it's not always the sort of attention you hope for, well in truth it's never gone as well as I thought it would but it might one day... I'll try again as soon as the restraining order is lifted.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I love bunny rabbits, especially my pink one from Ann Summers xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love bunny rabbits, especially my pink one from Ann Summers xx"

Didn't know Ann summers had a pets department

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op ypu could of just asked i fancied a fuck

I am not rude, young lady.

Thats where your going wrong then "

I'll remember that approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Op ypu could of just asked i fancied a fuck

I am not rude, young lady.

Thats where your going wrong then

I'll remember that approach "

I prefer calling it cheeky. The Judge differed, fecking stiff-lipped, unfunny anti-libertarian.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I could do with some advice.

A few years ago, a young lady caught my eye. Well, her rather tempting breasts did. They really were enticing. Made my mouth water.

Anyway, I sent a few (56?) introductory messages and, eventually, got chatting. I tempted her with some unique photos of my cock. Who could resist? I am particularly proud of the green diseased one (Yes, Green Waffle does exist. Check out the photo. But I did get it treated).

Anyway, I think she had problems with her PC or internet connection because we were getting on but, despite another few (137?) messages from me, I received no reply. There must have been a virus on her PC, as I was blocked, and each of my carefully crafted messages contained a unique picture of my member.

Having sympathy for her plight, I managed to track her down through the Book of Face. I even found out where she worked. So, knowing she was missing me, I sent a few (350?) carefully written letters to her at her work address.

Imagine my surprise (and, quite frankly, indignation), at receiving a 6 month sentence! By the way, the bunny incident was greatly exaggerated, you know. It was quite an old rabbit and there wasn't anything worth eating to speak of in her fridge. The panty bit was not really how it sounded, either.

Anyway, just noticed she is back here on a different profile. Would it be considered rude to message her? How do you think I should phrase a message?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't worry about the Rottweiler , I found that if you buy some steak , 28 day aged preferably , crush some sleeping tablets , rub it into the steak and pop it through the letter box . It will be asleep in about ten minutes .

She will also appreciate this as it means she won't have to walk him/ her for the evening , so she will have more time to play "guess who--- left me chocolates in my underwear " and also if she has any spare time , she may even take the opportunity to reply to one of your 317 messages .

As a bonus , you could leave a sleepy steak in her fridge for dinner , that way she will get a great nights sleep and give you the chance to sneak in and cuddle up with her . She will love waking up next to you and cry out in throws of excitement .

My, that is genius. I recognize that approach, ole cellmate, you. I thought you were in for life?"

I still am , I have given up on getting a woman's attention on fab , because as soon as you mention you are in for 25 years and on "list" , they loose interest .

So I now peruse the phone book in my cell and write to woman and tell them I work here at Her Majesties Service and I am in the middle of building my own house so don't have a fixed address and tell them it is best to send there sexy letters and used underwear here .

My locker is currently stock piled with bars of soap for "special" shower time , razors to keep my man garden trim for when "big daddy " wants me and more pairs of underwear than Ann summers stocks .

Anyway , when I get out I must remember not to buy so rohypnol in such large quantities , bloody credit card was tracked .

Anyway , any joy since leaving , you are missed in here .

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"I love bunny rabbits, especially my pink one from Ann Summers xx

Didn't know Ann summers had a pets department "

Oh yes right at the back xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all your advice, fabbers. It would be all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge.

The Judge, by the way, seemed oblivious to the fact that she was clearly up for it and led me on. He seemed to concentrate rather too much on the bunny incident which was really rather peripheral.

Anyway, having considered what to do next, I appreciate that the direct approach may not be the most effective. I was thinking a polite, subtle yet personal method.

How do you think I might get on with sticking my erection through her letterbox?"

hopefully she's got a big hungry dog

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't worry about the Rottweiler , I found that if you buy some steak , 28 day aged preferably , crush some sleeping tablets , rub it into the steak and pop it through the letter box . It will be asleep in about ten minutes .

She will also appreciate this as it means she won't have to walk him/ her for the evening , so she will have more time to play "guess who--- left me chocolates in my underwear " and also if she has any spare time , she may even take the opportunity to reply to one of your 317 messages .

As a bonus , you could leave a sleepy steak in her fridge for dinner , that way she will get a great nights sleep and give you the chance to sneak in and cuddle up with her . She will love waking up next to you and cry out in throws of excitement .

My, that is genius. I recognize that approach, ole cellmate, you. I thought you were in for life?

I still am , I have given up on getting a woman's attention on fab , because as soon as you mention you are in for 25 years and on "list" , they loose interest .

So I now peruse the phone book in my cell and write to woman and tell them I work here at Her Majesties Service and I am in the middle of building my own house so don't have a fixed address and tell them it is best to send there sexy letters and used underwear here .

My locker is currently stock piled with bars of soap for "special" shower time , razors to keep my man garden trim for when "big daddy " wants me and more pairs of underwear than Ann summers stocks .

Anyway , when I get out I must remember not to buy so rohypnol in such large quantities , bloody credit card was tracked .

Anyway , any joy since leaving , you are missed in here . "

Joy? Not really. People judge you, you know. It is nice to see the sunlight again but, to be honest, I do miss the weekly showers with Rhianna. Is he still in as well? Send my kisses.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant."

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

"

Yes. But your bedroom is lovely. I've left some chocolates for you.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

Yes. But your bedroom is lovely. I've left some chocolates for you."

You broke into the wrong house. The only thing left in my bedroom are the tears of my victims.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

Yes. But your bedroom is lovely. I've left some chocolates for you.

You broke into the wrong house. The only thing left in my bedroom are the tears of my victims."

Oh, fook. Not again. Have you any idea how many times that has happened?

Oi, sorry if that was you again, Big Trev. No need to send the boys round. You know I shouldn't be let out wivout me sat nav.

PS. Can I have my chocs back? They are in your grundy draw. Cheers, Trev. Buy you a pint, mate.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

Yes. But your bedroom is lovely. I've left some chocolates for you.

You broke into the wrong house. The only thing left in my bedroom are the tears of my victims.

Oh, fook. Not again. Have you any idea how many times that has happened?

Oi, sorry if that was you again, Big Trev. No need to send the boys round. You know I shouldn't be let out wivout me sat nav.

PS. Can I have my chocs back? They are in your grundy draw. Cheers, Trev. Buy you a pint, mate."

That might explain the screaming next door. Either that or a leaflet dropper has stepped on a trap.

Again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would suggest taking up 24 hour surveillance on her just in case she's in trouble. But to avoid freaking her out with this leave a few notes on her car reassuring her that you are watching her and she's safe from predators who may break in in the middle of the night.

Great idea! Another lass with tits, too. Oh, OK, he wasn't a lass but it doesn't really matter much. That's what they told me in Winchester.

Do you like bunny wabbits?

Only skinned, gutted and stewed.

Ooh, my kind of girl. I might move my obsession, ah, I mean my preference. You do have a letterbox, right? And no dog? Is your dad a judge?

Why are these preferences not available to see on profiles? It is all significant.

No dog. Just a rabid cat. Letterbox lined with razor wire. That's if you get past the man traps - lost a lot of posties that way.

Electrified netting traps inside the house.

I like to welcome all visitors with a close up meeting with my favourite titanium baseball bat.

Yes. But your bedroom is lovely. I've left some chocolates for you.

You broke into the wrong house. The only thing left in my bedroom are the tears of my victims.

Oh, fook. Not again. Have you any idea how many times that has happened?

Oi, sorry if that was you again, Big Trev. No need to send the boys round. You know I shouldn't be let out wivout me sat nav.

PS. Can I have my chocs back? They are in your grundy draw. Cheers, Trev. Buy you a pint, mate.

That might explain the screaming next door. Either that or a leaflet dropper has stepped on a trap.

Again."

See, I knew that. You're over the rainbow, right? Trev is under the rainbow. Well under the rainbow.

Sat nav is shit. Sorry Big Trev (if you knew him, you would understand why it is more important for me. I mean, no disrespect, but I suspect you do not wear hobnail boots and greet your friends with a Glasgow handshake).

Fook, I'm going to pester my original victim, erm, friend. Judge, maximum security please.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As an aside, has anyone noticed how these perfectly innocent threads get twisted and turned by fookers? I was only asking for some simple advice. Before I know it, I'm on the run again.

Ah, well, live and learn, eh? Well, assuming I live.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Going off the grid. Me and my kagoul. No chocolates left.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I could do with some advice.

A few years ago, a young lady caught my eye. Well, her rather tempting breasts did. They really were enticing. Made my mouth water.

Anyway, I sent a few (56?) introductory messages and, eventually, got chatting. I tempted her with some unique photos of my cock. Who could resist? I am particularly proud of the green diseased one (Yes, Green Waffle does exist. Check out the photo. But I did get it treated).

Anyway, I think she had problems with her PC or internet connection because we were getting on but, despite another few (137?) messages from me, I received no reply. There must have been a virus on her PC, as I was blocked, and each of my carefully crafted messages contained a unique picture of my member.

Having sympathy for her plight, I managed to track her down through the Book of Face. I even found out where she worked. So, knowing she was missing me, I sent a few (350?) carefully written letters to her at her work address.

Imagine my surprise (and, quite frankly, indignation), at receiving a 6 month sentence! By the way, the bunny incident was greatly exaggerated, you know. It was quite an old rabbit and there wasn't anything worth eating to speak of in her fridge. The panty bit was not really how it sounded, either.

Anyway, just noticed she is back here on a different profile. Would it be considered rude to message her? How do you think I should phrase a message?"

#Pmfsl #Rotfl #Snm

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