FabSwingers.com forum: What's wrong with me?!?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Be there in 10

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They will be queuing for you now!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh shut up and just sit on this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And i thought irony was what you did with your clothesies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

If only you were 56 and 3'2". Bugger.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And also probably because your profile clearly states "NOT MEETING"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

it could be your messages on your profile page that your not meeting

other than that nice pics

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I'll fuck you!

Hurry up

Bring beer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it seems you are quite an intelligent woman with a good sense of self worth.

Hardly surprising you are failing then, it seems a lot of people on here don't really want someone who can hold a conversation they just want someone who can hold a dick with various parts of their body.

My thoughts are don't lie, keep that honesty, its refreshing to see on Fab ... wishing you luck xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

If only you were 56 and 3'2". Bugger.

Dammit! If I dig a big hole and stand in it, would that work? I could take a cardboard box for my meets to stand on?

And I'm sure I could get really wrinkly if I stay in the bath long enough?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You should know that no fella likes an intelligent woman. They're the sort who say no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those "Why won't anyone meet me??" threads are a bit irritating, especially when the bloke has only been a member for a few days

(p.s... nice pics!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorru but, I just feel I'm out of your league.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elson61Man
over a year ago

WELWYN GARDEN CITY

It might be something to do with your profile starting off with you not meeting because of a chronic illness, so people who want to meet won't get in touch because of that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You should know that no fella likes an intelligent woman. They're the sort who say no."

I'm regularly not too bright. I... I... err...

True story, I got divorced from my first husband and the degree nici came through and I didn't realise what it was. I was expecting it to say "Divorce Certificate" at the top in big swirly writing. A mate had to point out that yes I was actually divorced now! Doh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you had a meet 2 months ago

bloody attention seeking women!

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

frankly i thik you need to put weight on.. all men love a 'real woman' dont you know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorru but, I just feel I'm out of your league.

You're totes outta my league. I never meet any guy with better hair than me. It inflates my inferiority complex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But you had a meet 2 months ago

bloody attention seeking women!

xxx"

That was a veri from when I was on before on a previous profile He veri'd my current profile and has now left Fab. THAT'S how shit I am. I make people leave!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been here 7 months and no meets, haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"frankly i thik you need to put weight on.. all men love a 'real woman' dont you know

I'm looking for some reverse liposuction as I type. Liporeplacement?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you had a meet 2 months ago

bloody attention seeking women!

xxx

That was a veri from when I was on before on a previous profile He veri'd my current profile and has now left Fab. THAT'S how shit I am. I make people leave!"

Yea yea yea bet Its as fake as you!

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But you had a meet 2 months ago

bloody attention seeking women!

xxx

That was a veri from when I was on before on a previous profile He veri'd my current profile and has now left Fab. THAT'S how shit I am. I make people leave!

Yea yea yea bet Its as fake as you!

xxx"

Shhh. Don't use the f word, people might realise I'm really a guy called Trevor.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Methinks the OP doth protest too much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorru but, I just feel I'm out of your league.

You're totes outta my league. I never meet any guy with better hair than me. It inflates my inferiority complex. "

I'm just glad every not every woman thinks that or I'd never get a meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You should know that no fella likes an intelligent woman. They're the sort who say no.

I'm regularly not too bright. I... I... err...

Ouch. You have now shattered the illusion.

The Decree Nisi is not the final decree. You mean the Decree Absolute.

As you were. (Men, go on, don't read the profile and send some "Fancy a fuck" messages).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I never meet any guy with better hair than me.... "

Darn it! Thought I had a chance....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You should know that no fella likes an intelligent woman. They're the sort who say no.

I'm regularly not too bright. I... I... err...

Ouch. You have now shattered the illusion.

The Decree Nisi is not the final decree. You mean the Decree Absolute.

As you were. (Men, go on, don't read the profile and send some "Fancy a fuck" messages)."

See? Oi am fick!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol i never thought id see the day a woman voicing that shes not getting meets, the ratio is like 1 female for every 100 guys lol, but i understand you females got it bad you have to sieve through alot of male (anyone see what i did there male and mail) lool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To God damn sexy for me and I'm glad you're not meeting as it saves on the rejection later if I message you a cock pic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

errr...not meeting?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only you were taller and older...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You say you dont meet

You cannot accom or travel apparently

You dont like married men

I'm out lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you had a meet 2 months ago

bloody attention seeking women!

xxx

That was a veri from when I was on before on a previous profile He veri'd my current profile and has now left Fab. THAT'S how shit I am. I make people leave!

Yea yea yea bet Its as fake as you!

xxx

Shhh. Don't use the f word, people might realise I'm really a guy called Trevor."

Ok soz big trev

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?"

Internal depth....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?"

It's the hairy legs that does it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

It's the hairy legs that does it

And the moustache..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I was gonna put it next to my boobs, side on to prove I'm an A cup.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

It's the hairy legs that does it

And the moustache.."

Oh, have we met before?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Well - are you meeting or not?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

It's the hairy legs that does it

And the moustache..

Oh, have we met before? "

Yes we have, Crazyhotwife.....or should I say...BERNARD!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I was gonna put it next to my boobs, side on to prove I'm an A cup.

Nah that's rubbish your at most an aa. Xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *errysMan
over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

There is nothing wrong with you in fact you are on my hot list (see other post) problem is im over your age limit. Bigger problem is that mine here is my 'fab' age I am way over your age limit, but if all you want is a meet why not try I wont bite and I am happy with just socials and I'm local.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm above your age range and your profile says you not meeting at moment. and you want me be single but I'm not allowed to love my sheep. while you got a husband. I think you are on wrong site a dateing site might suite you better. you sound abit like a bunny killer lol. I find it hard to believe female on this site would find it hard to get a meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

It's the hairy legs that does it

And the moustache..

Oh, have we met before?

Yes we have, Crazyhotwife.....or should I say...BERNARD!

Ffs it's BIG TREV!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's just the batteries the vibrator takes....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Hahaha!!! Best post I've read in ages! Great stuff!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!"

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx"

I'd have said a ruler...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche

OMG! Are guys mad?! Your pics are stunning.

The bit at the top about not meeting confused the hell out of me tho?...

And take a look at my profile. That mentions about talking. Night out and talking.

Only real men can handle that bit so it just requires patience!

I have had some meets outside of clubs where they can speak before rubbing legs against me and dragging me up the car park.

Get in to some clubs, then its a bit of both.

That fills the time until the man with brain in both areas comes along. They do exist on here!

Oops if a bit of contentious post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche

***not meeting***

Probably puts guys off right there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG! Are guys mad?! Your pics are stunning.

The bit at the top about not meeting confused the hell out of me tho?...

And take a look at my profile. That mentions about talking. Night out and talking.

Only real men can handle that bit so it just requires patience!

I have had some meets outside of clubs where they can speak before rubbing legs against me and dragging me up the car park.

Get in to some clubs, then its a bit of both.

That fills the time until the man with brain in both areas comes along. They do exist on here!

Oops if a bit of contentious post

What's a brain?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"***not meeting***

Probably puts guys off right there!"

Nope, it's her hairy legs and moustache.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elson61Man
over a year ago

WELWYN GARDEN CITY

"***not meeting***

Probably puts guys off right there!"

No probably about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And also probably because your profile clearly states "NOT MEETING""

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

I think I could run to a Big Mac if you are stuck. A quiet intimate table in Mcadees who knows where my extravagance could lead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx

I'd have said a ruler...

A flexi one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

your profile says your not meeting ..u cant travel or accom ..!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx

I'd have said a ruler...

A flexi one

You aren't old enough to remember the big red and white 1mt wooden rules

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx"

They might be, but what about girth? Surely we would also need something that would tell what width the op can manage? If you could only get a pencil, (or a hammer, assuming you are talking about the handle? God forbid it be the head of a claw hammer!

) in there, it would be of no use to the vast majority of men on here!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going by some of the "Hot Pics" - the business end of a 10lb sledge.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Going by some of the "Hot Pics" - the business end of a 10lb sledge....."

For a minute I thought you were talking about me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx

I'd have said a ruler...

A flexi one

You aren't old enough to remember the big red and white 1mt wooden rules

Oh i am lol often was hit over the head with one n this was after corpral punisment was banned. My mum was a teacher n when id complain to her she would always say you must of deserved it young lady.

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that you include a couple of pics with a toilet and some dirty washing in the background...

Don't forget the sky remote!

Not quite sure what the comparison for the op would be though?

Internal depth....

I had assumed that....but would that not be a true comparison? Unless it was cut in half before insertion. Just be careful in case of sharp edges!

Hammers are a better judge of depth.....

xxx

) in there, it would be of no use to the vast majority of men on here!"

Are you sugesting that I should use the other end next time? You bad boy.

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going by some of the "Hot Pics" - the business end of a 10lb sledge....."

Ouch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post and the profile message do not compute. My logic circuits are in meltdown.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

You should know that no fella likes an intelligent woman. They're the sort who say no."

Errr put that brush down, some fellas do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uerido55Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Four things really as far as I'm concerned:

You're not meeting!

You're too far away in MK for regular short trips out.

I don't do burgers

and finally

I'm over 43

Shame that because we could have had a meeting of minds (and maybe other bits as well!)

Ever thought of moving "North" to expand your horizons?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

7 weeks? Really? I thought you were one of the regulars who had just changed their name.

Anyway, we wouldn't meet you because you wear pink underwear and that would clash with our wallpaper.

Our decision isn't at all based on the fact that we are miles outside your age range, nor the fact that your profile says "No short, ugly, bald men: I'm not desperate ffs"

Good luck in your search.

(Have you considered pretending you're bi too?)

Mr ddc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"7 weeks? Really? I thought you were one of the regulars who had just changed their name.

Anyway, we wouldn't meet you because you wear pink underwear and that would clash with our wallpaper.

Our decision isn't at all based on the fact that we are miles outside your age range, nor the fact that your profile says "No short, ugly, bald men: I'm not desperate ffs"

Good luck in your search.

(Have you considered pretending you're bi too?)

Mr ddc"

I've been here before twice under different names. But it's a secret.

Oh yeah, of course no one wants to meet me because they think they'll catch "the straight". If I pretend to be bi, how do I act convincing? I'm not sure I'd know what to do! Anyone wanna talk me through it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"7 weeks? Really? I thought you were one of the regulars who had just changed their name.

Anyway, we wouldn't meet you because you wear pink underwear and that would clash with our wallpaper.

Our decision isn't at all based on the fact that we are miles outside your age range, nor the fact that your profile says "No short, ugly, bald men: I'm not desperate ffs"

Good luck in your search.

(Have you considered pretending you're bi too?)

Mr ddc

I've been here before twice under different names. But it's a secret. "

That really shouldn't be allowed. It plays havoc with all the secret notes I write

" Oh yeah, of course no one wants to meet me because they think they'll catch "the straight". If I pretend to be bi, how do I act convincing? I'm not sure I'd know what to do! Anyone wanna talk me through it?"

Try and find a man who looks a little bit like a girl and get a pic of you snogging him. Many men on here wouldn't turn you down just because you insisted they wore a pig-tailed-wig, surely?

{shrugs}

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi Trevor, you need patience and choose carefully who you sent well crafty messages too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oi Trevor, you need patience and choose carefully who you sent well crafty messages too

Crafty or crafted?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi Trevor, you need patience and choose carefully who you sent well crafty messages too

Crafty or crafted?"

Try both?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi Trevor, you need patience and choose carefully who you sent well crafty messages too

Crafty or crafted?"

It to sure... I stick with fancy a fuck? doesn't work it hits the minimum quota

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

If only you were 56 and 3'2". Bugger.

Dammit! If I dig a big hole and stand in it, would that work? I could take a cardboard box for my meets to stand on?

And I'm sure I could get really wrinkly if I stay in the bath long enough?"

Ohhhhhhhhhh gwan then, I'll shag yer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Yes! Suddenly it all makes sense. Sort of.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adeDragonMan
over a year ago

Guildford

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Interesting point, by putting up barriers while also posting posting pictures of her sexy bod we get the barbed wire effect - protects the property but doesn't spoil the view.

The problem appears to be it's working too well.

Full disclosure: OP is on my hotlist too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Sometimes hard on here to tell exactly what the OP's mean as sarcasm doesn't always translate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Interesting point, by putting up barriers while also posting posting pictures of her sexy bod we get the barbed wire effect - protects the property but doesn't spoil the view.

The problem appears to be it's working too well.

Full disclosure: OP is on my hotlist too

Nah she is too short and or tall for mine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Interesting point, by putting up barriers while also posting posting pictures of her sexy bod we get the barbed wire effect - protects the property but doesn't spoil the view.

The problem appears to be it's working too well.

Full disclosure: OP is on my hotlist too

Nah she is too short and or tall for mine

I'm taller than a can of Lynx?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something is telling me the OP is being sarcastic...I wonder what could it be? The not meeting part in her profile perhaps

Interesting point, by putting up barriers while also posting posting pictures of her sexy bod we get the barbed wire effect - protects the property but doesn't spoil the view.

The problem appears to be it's working too well.

Full disclosure: OP is on my hotlist too

Nah she is too short and or tall for mine

I'm taller than a can of Lynx?"

Oh all right then, I will add you to my hot list and ensure I send a fancy a fuck message every quarter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildt123Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Fibber! You're always sending " fancy a fuck" messages we all just ignore you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)

Have to say the opening gambit of :

"NOT MEETING for a long time due to chronic illness"

Would sort of be a barrier we would struggle to cross.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

7 weeks is nothing, have some patience.

Then again put up some pics dressed in a naughty nurses uniform then you will have some patients.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

You say you're not meeting, sorry to hear you're unwell, but why would anyone bother to contact you and waste their time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You say you're not meeting, sorry to hear you're unwell, but why would anyone bother to contact you and waste their time!"

My sense of humour?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You say you're not meeting, sorry to hear you're unwell, but why would anyone bother to contact you and waste their time!

My sense of humour?

Wasted on many, I fear!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh come off it Trevor, you have been here before, you know humour is not allowed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange post OP! Considering you have splashed across your profile "not meeting" maybe you just needed some attention by starting this thread, why would anyone message you if you are not meeting? Why moan about it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Word got around you're a shit shag and you don't swallow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Word got around you're a shit shag and you don't swallow. "

Shit, should I have put that on my profile so they at least knew from the start?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You say you're not meeting, sorry to hear you're unwell, but why would anyone bother to contact you and waste their time!

My sense of humour?

Wasted on many, I fear!"

Bless 'em. They make me chuckle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do we need to start a thread about it?

"Why doesn't anyone understand sarcasm....???"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do we need to start a thread about it?

"Why doesn't anyone understand sarcasm....???""

Do it!!!!!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's wrong with me...

Where do I start..

I hang around on here way too much, I wear cords, I drive a twenty year old car that runs on chip fat, I have way too many books and not nearly enough porn mags, I'm getting old, I've started sitting down to wee,I make oooooing noises just sitting down and groaning noises standing up, I think I'm sic but my kids think I'm sick and it takes me twenty fucking minutes to decipher a text from them.... But no apparently the biggest problems I have is grumpiness... Bollocks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndysuzukiMan
over a year ago

Newquay

Whats wrong with you?

Nothing apart from the fact you are missing out on here by blocking me because of my age, lol

Ill be in MK in 2 weeks be happy to help engage you in an evenings entertainment you'll remember fro a long time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this real? This isn't real is it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hats_in_a_usernameMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Fancy a fuck?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is vapidity a real word?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't want meets so what's the problem?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do we need to start a thread about it?

"Why doesn't anyone understand sarcasm....???""

Dare you. You might need to do an awful lot of explaining. Repeatedly.

I don't think I'd have the patience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Daftest look at me thread for a while.

Weeds out the sycophants mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Daftest look at me thread for a while.

Weeds out the sycophants mind "

And the bitches

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here 7 weeks now and no meets? Be brutal. It's because I can string a sentence together isn't it.

Is my grammar off putting?

Is it because I don't send men "fancy a fuck", and when asked to describe my fantasy, I say a double cheeseburger and fries?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm too tall or too old. Should I lie about my age and height?

If I say I'm 32 and I'm 5'6, would someone please take pity on me? Anyone? I'm not fussed who the cock is attached to.

Ok here's lots of attention, happy now?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Come on Everyone....

Its like raiiiiaiiinn on your wedding Day !!

Its a free riiiiideeeee when you already paid...

Its the good advice that you just didn't take....

And who would have thought it figureeeeeddddddddd.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Yep the op is a dude. Living in fantasy land.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)

"Yep the op is a dude. Living in fantasy land. "

You spotted that too? xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well it seems you are quite an intelligent woman with a good sense of self worth.

My thoughts are don't lie, keep that honesty, its refreshing to see on Fab ... wishing you luck xx"

And this is wrong is it but why it fab lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe the opening sentences on your profile are why -

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of you ^.

The point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There a guy in another thread offering naked irony...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're too negative. Negatively isn't attractive you know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of you ^.

The point "

Surely the point is, there is no actual point.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would like to formally apologise for the mental trauma and confusion my obviously incredibly bad sense of humour has inflicted on some forum members here today (well, mostly yesterday).

It was supposed to be funny. Women never complain about not getting meets. So I thought I'd redress the balance.

I assumed (wrongly) it would be obvious I wasn't getting meets because I'm not meeting.

I thought (and again I hang my head in shame) that it may provoke a thread of silly reasons why other people don't get meets, taking the piss out of themselves too, like I attempted to do with myself.

I am aware that when you have to explain a joke, it's not funny. And I can only grovel and apologise further for that.

I promise never to be funny again.

Now. Who wants cake?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Now. Who wants cake?"

Just so long as it doesn't taste funny...

Mr ddc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to formally apologise for the mental trauma and confusion my obviously incredibly bad sense of humour has inflicted on some forum members here today (well, mostly yesterday).

It was supposed to be funny. Women never complain about not getting meets. So I thought I'd redress the balance.

I assumed (wrongly) it would be obvious I wasn't getting meets because I'm not meeting.

I am aware that when you have to explain a joke, it's not funny. And I can only grovel and apologise further for that.

I promise never to be funny again.

Now. Who wants cake?

Cake makes everything all right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep the op is a dude. Living in fantasy land. "

Nope, if Trevor lived in fantasy land, I would join the queue for a chance to fuck her..... But Milton Keynes! no wonder she struggles to get a meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to formally apologise for the mental trauma and confusion my obviously incredibly bad sense of humour has inflicted on some forum members here today (well, mostly yesterday).

It was supposed to be funny. Women never complain about not getting meets. So I thought I'd redress the balance.

I assumed (wrongly) it would be obvious I wasn't getting meets because I'm not meeting.

I am aware that when you have to explain a joke, it's not funny. And I can only grovel and apologise further for that.

I promise never to be funny again.

Now. Who wants cake?

Cake makes everything all right

Not if you're on a diet it doesn't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will get hundreds of offers lol x.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"I would like to formally apologise for the mental trauma and confusion my obviously incredibly bad sense of humour has inflicted on some forum members here today (well, mostly yesterday).

It was supposed to be funny. Women never complain about not getting meets. So I thought I'd redress the balance.

I assumed (wrongly) it would be obvious I wasn't getting meets because I'm not meeting.

I am aware that when you have to explain a joke, it's not funny. And I can only grovel and apologise further for that.

I promise never to be funny again.

Now. Who wants cake?

Oh I got the joke, context was a bit daft. I'll have a chocolate sponge please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to formally apologise for the mental trauma and confusion my obviously incredibly bad sense of humour has inflicted on some forum members here today (well, mostly yesterday).

It was supposed to be funny. Women never complain about not getting meets. So I thought I'd redress the balance.

I assumed (wrongly) it would be obvious I wasn't getting meets because I'm not meeting.

I am aware that when you have to explain a joke, it's not funny. And I can only grovel and apologise further for that.

I promise never to be funny again.

Now. Who wants cake?

Although I'd quite like cake, I did get your sense of humour. Does that disqualify me from cake?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread